A
female
age
30-35,
*ayceex
writes:Ok so, its more something to rage off a bit.I've seen these topics a lot but still, I just NEED to rage it off.The point is, I've been in a very loving relationship for like 7 months now, and we're sexually very active, I have given my boyfriend blowjobs from like, since the beginning we started having sex? I absolutely HATE giving BJ's but I know he likes them very much so I pretty much give them to him every time we have sex or are about to have sex. Ever since the beginning he didn't want to go down on me, I never made an issue of it and I never ask for it. Well so HE started bringing it up to wanting to give me oral in return, ever since we are in this relationship he gave me oral just ONCE. I didn't mind until lately, I brought it up in a conversation why he only went down on me once and why he never does it, especially since he knows I think of giving oral is one of the best ways to show your partner love.Because, the feeling is just great isn't it? Anyway back to the point, long story short: he started to talk about it like he never thinks of it when we are 'busy'.^ Indeed, right there, he said it, I KNOW he is being honest about it all, and the 2 times after the conversation I brought it up after giving him a BJ he said he didn't feel like it and started being INCREDIBLY childish about he always has to start arousing me, which he starts doing himself voluntarily?And thats his ONLY statement WHY he feels he doesn't have to go down on me.And that is exactly what is pissing me off, his childish damn behavior when I bring up or want to have a decent conversation about it. I had my small payback a few days ago to, I told him I was gonna stop shaving, and he went 'WHY?'. (The stressed out look on his face was priceless, he hates pubic hair bahaha)I told him the shaving was irritating me so I didnt want to anymore, he said exactly this: "Well I don't want you to shave if it doesn't feel good for you, BUT.. Don't expect any oral then, you know I hate it when girls have hair down there'.So I went 'Oh well, that doesn't matter' - 'Why?' - 'You never give it to me anyway'.And he just went dead silent.Now my question to you guys, have you had similar experiences with guys? How did you deal with it and what did he say? And for guys reading this, what do you think about this and how do you think I should handle this? /walloftext.P.s.Dont get me things like 'BREAK UP' pls.Except for this we have a really good relationship. xDI just don't get why he is acting so childish about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2012): If he is not willing to give you oral stop giving him blowjobs its simple really
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 January 2012):
 why are you giving blow jobs if you hate them? find a man who can live without them.
I love getting oral sex but my current partner won't do it. I knew this going in and accepted it.
I also know that giving blow jobs is something I LOVE to do and I'm HAPPY to do it for him. I DO NOT give him oral sex expecting it back. Sex is NOT a tit for tat GAME which is what you are doing.
Sit down with your man and tell him that oral sex is now off the table in your sex life... clearly neither of you enjoy giving it to the other so why do it?
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (19 January 2012):
 OK this is How see it after thinking about it.
Not giving him oral is "withholding".
Not giving him oral until he gives you oral is "a who sacrifices more challenge".
"withholding" and "challenge" will surly lead to "BREAK UP".
Seems to me that you two are well matched, you both hate giving and love receiving.
FA
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A
female
reader, Jayceex +, writes (19 January 2012):
Jayceex is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the fast replies (:
First about the pubic hair: It was just bit of a revenge thingy because the way he acts xD
I think liking it or not is a personal taste, I myself also like being shaven and clean xD
Just wanted to scare the sht out of him for a second.
But I guess you guys are right.
I'll just stop from this day on to give him oral.
I mean, if he just wasnt into it and really didnt like it and gave me a clear honest answer I'd be like 'Well okay, happens', y'know?
But since that isnt the case.. LOL
Anyway thanks for your fast replies. (:
I'll keep you guys updated about it if anything happens the next week.
And thanks for taking the time for reading it as it was more of a rage-it-off then a question on how I started to write it xD
Thanks again ^^
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2012): he's not the only one acting childish here.
you both hate giving oral. the difference is that you give it to him anyway despite hating it. OK fine, that's YOUR choice. If you were giving in the true spirit of giving, you wouldn't expect him to "sacrifice" back for you. That's not true giving. That's simply "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours." If that's the game you want to play then you should be upfront about your motivations for giving him oral, not punish him later for not having been on the same page as you.
there's nothing wrong with wanting your partner to reciprocate. Except when you know your partner doesn't want to do whatever it is that you expect as the reciprocation (for example what if he thanked you for giving him oral snf did something else that's nice for you, why isn't that enough for you and instead you feel he must give you oral as well?) and still you go ahead and "do stuff" to try to get him to do what you want, which you know he doesn't want to do, and then getting mad that he didn't make the same choice as you did to be noble and do something he doesn't like to do.
therefore I suggest you stop giving him oral because (a) you hate it anyway (b) you get resentful as a result of doing it so you're not truly giving in the spirit of giving and the resentment is contributing to a negativity in the relationship.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 January 2012):
 Sex is not a witholding game or a who sacrifices more challenge, your boyfriend is being a jerk.
You need to stop giving him oral. From how you describe it you get NOTHING out of it. It's unpleasant for you, he doesn't appreciate it at all, and he doesn't reciprocate. If he can get everything he wants without having to do anything in return, why should he put in any work? There's absolutely no reason for you to keep giving him head in this situation. He takes it for granted that you'll just do it, in any circumstance, no matter how he treats you.
Also your boyfriend is a sexist pig for thinking pubic hair on women is disgusting. I assume it's disgusting on women but on men it's perfectly fine and natural? Give me a break. We all have it. Next time he says pubic hair is disgusting ask him if he's ever considered counseling for liking his partners to look like children.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 January 2012):
 Heh, he's being childish because oral is an acquired taste, and he sees no reason to do it. You threatening with shaving isn't going to be the answer. The real answer is that he never gets a blow job ever again. Nope. None for him if none for you. That's a fair and proportional tradeoff.
As for his being childish about being the one to start "arousing" you, that's weird! Doesn't it turn him on to see you turned on? Wouldn't that be a massive shot to his ego and his desire to see you getting ultimate pleasure from his hands and mouth? Tell him that it's this way because with a guy, when they ejaculate, oftentimes the act ends, which is why an unselfish and SMART guy would never even think of that.
And I know that it's not that you're doing nothing but lying there like a slug while he does the work, because you're going down on him!
The only way to get it through his head (both of them...heh) is to stop giving him oral. Be unyielding about this. None for him if none for you. I mean, come on, having a guy leak pre-ejaculate into your mouth while you pleasure him, not to mention the thought of sucking on the same thing he pees out of is no picnic, not to mention if you swallow or allow him to finish inside your mouth!
None for him if none for you. If you're scared to lay down the law because you think he'll break up with you, then he never loved you to begin with.
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A
female
reader, abeytahemera19 +, writes (19 January 2012):
He just doesnt like the sensation you cant force him either your willing to compromise so should he but he isnt so in this case your just gonna have to adjust to that and respect him for it. It is a childish thing but I mean what more can you really do? If shaving irritates you look for other options such as a shaving cream that mousterizes or a good brand razor.
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