A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey,Basically I'm a bit of an idiot when I'm drunk lol I messaged a girl that I think is attractive when I got home one night and asked if I could take her out on a date, we got chatting for a bit and she said yes.Sounds great, but the thing is I've never spoken to this girl in person before and also never taken a girl on a date so I'm kind of flapping. Also I'm not available to take her out for at least another 2 weeks which is quite a while to keep up small talk.We've been chatting by text the past few days and I think it's going alright at the moment, get a bit lost what to say sometimes to keep the conversation going though.Can anyone provide any help or tips on a first date and just to keep everything going smoothly?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 June 2016):
 Well, there is no law that says that you must text a girl every single day, but, if you have the time, and she is responsive and seems to dig it, what's the big deal ?! It could turn to your advantage, in fact; contact may help starting to get to know her and create a sense of camaraderie, so that when you go to your first date, which is in practice a sort of blind date since you have never talked in person, at least most of the typical awkwardneds and stifledness of these situations will be gone !
You don't have to go on and on.... about the weather , say, to make small talk ( although, since you are British, maybe you have a natural knack for this too : ) .
You can ask her questions, people love to talk about themselves. What books, music, movies she likes, what are her favourite passtimes, how is it going with her job, or school, and what would be her ideal career... something like that.
Or/ and, you can share some little fact of your daily life, it does not need to be epocal, and ask her opinion about it : " I was so frigging mad today, my friend Frank did X, and I hate when people does X, so I told him Y... what do you think, how would you have reacted in my shoes ? " ...
It's not that difficult, if you ask about her ( without submitting her to a third grade , of course ) it creates a sense of connection and it shows you are interested.
And it does not need to drag on and on. You don't need to spend hours texting. As long as you sound interested ( as hopefully you really are... ) even a very short convo will
do.
OTH... if exchanging a few words a day or every couple of days for two weeks it is such an ordeal, and you both can't figure out what to talk about... maybe you are not such a match in real life, beside you finding her cute and she, reciprocating.
Which is a start, ok, but trust me, a relationship all based on " oh you look so good " and she says " oh you look hot yourself " ... won't fly off the ground, in fact, often does not even offer enough material for an one night stand !
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah she knows, I mentioned in about 2 weeks time when I initially messaged her and she said she was free most of the time.
I shot myself in the foot because I've left myself with a lot of time for small talk, I was thinking maybe sometimes of leaving it a day or two in between whilst talking to try and lose a few days ? Would that be a good idea or not
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (7 June 2016):
 I would make sure SHE knows that you can't take her out for another 2 week, and then one week out you talk to her about what date/time will work for her. I suggest you don't ASK her :"what works for you?" but say: " Are you free Saturday xx date xx time?" and then you DECIDE where you are taking her, again never be vague, if you want to take her out for a dinner - let her know where you plan on taking her, maybe ask if she likes "insert" type food.
If you want to make the first date a bit more casual, maybe suggest an afternoon date with lunch, that way you get to met each other in person and see if there is any interest in having a second date. I think having a shorter first date is a good idea. Let's say you don't get on AT ALL in person, it's a bit easier to end a date if there aren't too much planned. Lunch, coffee, a picnic or a walk in the park, on the beach kind of thing can work well.
Also, no sexy talk in the texting. Flirting is OK, but keep sex and double entendre out of the conversation. Save that for WHEN you are dating a girl... OH and no more drunk calls, OK?
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