A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I am absolutely devastated. My boyfriend and I went to the mall and saw a group of people huddled together near the entrance of a shop. I overheard one of the people there going "Management knows about it." When we left the mall about an hour later, I looked over to where the group had been standing earlier and saw a baby bird..It was a fledging and it should have been outside its nest to learn how to fly, but it was so limp and on the ground. It was breathing very heavily and didn't make a peep or a chirp as I approached it. It was very hot and humid and the baby bird must have been laying in the sun for god knows how long. I have eight birds myself and could not bring myself to leave it there when it was looking so distressed. It was breathing heavily, not responsive, not chirping, his eyes were closed.. and people just left it under the sun.We tried to bring him to a vet. I tried to feed it a little bit. He was in my hands still breathing super heavily, but I tried my best to make him comfortable. I think I may have accidentally killed him when I held a small syringe and gave him a little bit of water and food. It was not a lot, but he seemed to have trouble eating it. I figured he was starving since his crop was empty. He let out a cry that I will never forget and went limp in my hands. I held him as he died.I feel so guilty. I think I may have killed him by trying to feed him, but at the same time I try to look at the facts. He may have been sick to begin with. He showed signs that he was ill/sick, and because his crop(where he stores food) was empty his parents may have stopped feeding him. He might have died from overexposure from sitting under the sun for so long. He might have died because he was sick and thats why he was on the ground in the first place and couldn't move. I do not know and I feel so bad.I am more upset by the fact no one bothered to try and help him. They left him there. ): I know this sounds ridiculous but I am so depressed. It is effecting my daily life and my relationship I think. My bf tries to cheer me up and tell me its not my fault, he was really sick; but I cannot let go of the memory of the baby bird in my hands and letting go. I keep thinking about it and thinking about how it might have been my fault. Do you have tips on how to handle grief?
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (21 May 2016):
 Understandably most people would walk by not knowing or caring what to do… But you a least tried.
This helpless injured little creature was fortunate you came along… to finally come to rest in comforting hands of someone who cared… Guilty tears need not fall.
Imagine this fledgling now flying in skies of blue, chirping a happy tune saying thank you for being you.
T_T
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2016): I mercy killed a rabbit once. It was horrible I won't go into detail on how I found it but it was amazing it was still alive, it was clearly suffering and going to die a horrible death. So I killed it, I saw it stop breathing then suddenly start jumping around, I know now that this is a death reflex thing rabbits have but at the time I thought I hadn't done it properly. I felt terrible about it for ages afterward. But I still think I did the right thing, you tried to help the bird, but as others had said already this is nature and it probably would have died anyway as harsh as that is. You were trying to help it, don't beat yourself up.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 May 2016):
 People who want to help out wildlife have a heart of gold. Examples are like the Australians who gave koalas water bottles, people who save beached whales and put them back into the ocean, and people who cleaned up ducks and ocean creatures who were polluted in the oil spills. However, not all animals can be saved. The wild should be left alone. Recently in the news, a baby bison in Yellowstone national park had to be put down because a tourist had thought it was cold, being covered in ice. He brought it into his truck to cover him with blankets. When it was time to let go it can't be rejoined to his family because the mother rejected him. Somehow it couldn't be trusted as it had been in contact with humans. He couldn't survive in the wild by itself so it had to be euthanized.
The baby bird was probably one that failed to strive. In nature, mothers routinely reject and abandon offspring that are weak. Maybe they feel guilty for a moment or two, but it never interferes their ability to move on.
If you want to stop feeling bad, maybe do some volunteer work in the humane society. Make some other animals happy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2016): Hi sorry to hear you're feeling so sad. It does sound like it this reaction is a bit extreme. Nature isn't always kind. Animals do die, although we don't want them to. Whatever had cause that bird distress had already happened, there was little to nothing you could do to alter its natural course.
I think you need some professional counseling because your reaction is now affecting your every day life and your relationship with your boyfriend.
You are asking for tips on managing grief, I think it would make more sense for you to understand why you are Affected this much about something that is part of nature. So get to counseling as soon as you can.
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female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (21 May 2016):
 If it makes you feel any better I hit a bird with my car and like you I felt sick and was very upset about the fact. Like, I teared up and felt such sadness. Ruined my whole day and the next few after that. All that I could do was let time be my friend.the more time that went by the less I thought of it. Hopefully that will be the same for you. For a little bird to have endured as much as he did on that day I doubt very much that it was your attempt to feed him that killed him.
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male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (21 May 2016):
 Your emotional state seems precarious. Every life has value but you can't be upset every time nature ends one. I think you need to take comfort in the fact that you did all you could. That shows the compassion in you for the suffering of another animal.
If you continue to carry these feelings of grief you may want to look for an underlying cause. It might be something as simple as needing a tonic, your monthly cycle, or a form of depression unrecognised by you before. If it persists don't hesitate to speak to a health professional.
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (21 May 2016):
 You should never feel bad about this. You tried to help and that was all you could really do.
If the bird could, I'm sure he/she would thank you.
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