A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,a few months back I met a man online who I immediately hit it off with. As a little bit of backstory, I'm an avid player of online games and we encountered each other over a shared Teamspeak (similar to Skype in a sense). Over time we started splitting from the group and began doing things alone in our own private space, and I've enjoyed every minute that I have spent with him so far.Now, here's the thing: I'm quite overweight. I'm currently on a diet to lose weight and achieve a more healthy body, but naturally such things take a great deal of time, patience and willpower. However, this has always been a source of misery for me. In my younger years I was bullied all throughout school and even ex boyfriends have told me they would like me better if I was slimmer. This has, of course, affected my self-image and I've been struggling with self-loathing and insecurity. I don't have much confidence in how I look, dress and act.My greatest fear is that this will affect my relationship with my date, as we plan on seeing each other over webcam soon (we've seen plenty of photos of each other) and eventually meet in spring next year. I have been very upfront with him from the start and told him that I'm overweight and he's seen pictures of me - he keeps telling me that he thinks I'm attractive and that he finds me sexy and gorgeous just the way I am, but after a lifetime of being told that I'm not it's incredibly hard to believe his words. And in a way, I feel terrible for that because it seems like I don't appreciate them, which I absolutely do. He's been nothing but kind, understanding and reassuring to me.I'm wondering if anyone has had similar experiences and can perhaps ease some of my anxiety, as I truly care about him and would love to see him without fear.
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bullied, confidence, lose weight, online game, online gaming, overweight, player Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 December 2016):
 You have been honest to him, he has saw pictures of you and he still wants a date therefore go for it. Some guys prefer bigger girls.
Look you are working to change yourself and become healthier which is great, but yes it is a long road. It can be bumpy but you cannot judge this man on men from the past. Believe what he is telling you. If you keep putting yourself down to him then it will eventually get to him as well. Enjoy the attention and keep focused on becoming healthier.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (7 December 2016):
Truth...Meet up...You will know for sure if he is a good guy to keep or not.
If he sees you and lose interest...then you know he was the wrong one. Your weight for your first meet could be a good thing. It will be a lie detector test.
If he stick around and loves you at your size now...how much more will he love you when you lose weight.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 December 2016):
 It is not a blind date. He has seen your pics, he knows how you look and he digs it. If he had had a problem with your size he would have steered you toward " let's not ruin out beautiful friendship".
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (5 December 2016):
 I struggle with it a lot, but I realised I'd have to take risks and my boyfriend was that risk.As long as you've both video chatted and are careful, I don't think this should stop you :)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (5 December 2016):
Hey- it's not a blind date. He has seen you. He knows what you look like, and if he says he likes you, why do you have to doubt him- he could easily have you steered you toward " let's not ruin our beautiful friendship " if he had found you unappealing. Evidently, weight is not a deal breaker for him. Or, he's one among those who actually prefer a rubenesque lady.
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