A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok well here we go. i joined the army back in may of last year. my wife left me for another man then. she aid she didnt want that kind f life. well she ended up getting prgo from this guy right after i left. well when i was about done with basic we decided to try to make this work because she said she loved me and made a bad mistake. well we have kids allready and i do love her. well we decided to try. so...we work it out and i actually became ok with it. now i get deployed very quickly after getting stationed. like 3-4 months after ariving. well i get out here and everything seems ok. i go home on r and r around the time she has the kid. we goto the beach and honestly it wasnt weird being around this child. ok well i get almost back to my fob when i find out she left me again!! not even a week after i left. she says she doesnt feel right with being with me and it being another mans kid. thats fine i can understand that. well that only lasted like a week or 2 before she heads back to the base. well she is all upset about it and says it just didnt feel right not being with me. i fell for it. well here i am 3 1/2 months from getting back home and she still wants me to be with her even when she keeps breaking her promises of not going over there so "he can see his kid" but he doesnt give her any money or support and she is saying hurtful things to me when i confront her on this. i am having trust issues with her and it seems like all she can do is say its my fault why she does things and if i love her i should trust her not to do it again. now am i suppose to beleive this or should i just end it now for good? i do love her and my kids but i am so torn on what to do anymore. this is tearing me up inside and being over here isnt helping matters at all. so please tell me what you think should be done here.
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (3 October 2009):
 She is not cut out to be the woman for you.
I think that you should continue to be friendly with her for your children's sake but your romantic relationship needs to end. It is not fair of her to jerk around your heart like that, and not fair of her to blame you for her actions. The fact that she blames you for not trusting her when her own actions are the real reason should be the straw that breaks the camel's back.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 October 2009):
This woman really can't cope with this kind of relationship. You'd be better ending it and finding another who can cope with it. Be there for your kids, but this woman is trouble and you'd do better to move on.
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