A
male
age
30-35,
*91
writes:Hey Guys,So I'm back again with a new question...Okay, so I knew of a girl beforehand never spoken to her before though and after a night out, she sent me a friend request on fbook, so I accepted as I think she's a good looking girl and would like to try my luck with her.So I then ask if she uses blackberry messenger, which she does so I add her on there as well, we get to talking and it's been about 2 weeks now that we've been in contact, the conversations been pretty tame as I'm not a super flirtatious guy and a little unconfident when it comes to girls, but I dropped some hints that I was interested in her.We went out the following friday to the local club and we said hi and hugged and stuff and danced a little later in the night and on my way home whilst I was pretty drunk I ended up sending her a message asking her to come and meet me, she lives a few streets away from me. But she said she couldn't as she was with her friend and she had work in the morning so I said fine, if I can't see you now then let me take you out on a date somewhere, to which she said deal and told me I'll regret saying all of this stuff in the morning (I ended up telling her she's beautiful and that I fancy her lol)So the next day, we discuss our plans, she seemed very enthusiastic and was happy with the suggestions, that we had arranged for the sunday, she said she would have gone on the saturday but her friend told her they're going clubbing. So the sunday comes and it turns out she feels ill from the saturday, ie hungover. So she tells me she'd rather go sometime during the week as she wouldn't want to ruin it by being ill, so I said fine let's rearrange, but we didn't set a date there and then despite me trying to.So we're now on Thursday, I told her the best day for me would be Tuesday, but she had a work meeting on that night and got home around 8pm so it was no good. Turns out yesterday that she went to the cinema with a friends and two other guys (I know both these guys, I know one of them is a player, but the other is a nice chap from what I know as he isn't a great looking guy, but he's nice and funny and that works for him).I asked earlier on, on the wednesday morning if she'd like to rearrange something for the weekend as I wouldn't be able to do anything during the week from wednesday onwards. She told me she will be busy all weekend, so I said no problems, just let me know when you have some free time and we can arrange something....she said I'll see you on Friday if anything?So it went from looking good with a date, to meeting up with some other guys, we still talk and stuff, just looks like this ones ended before it's even begun though.Any thoughts on this? I'm I just over analyzing things and should I keep on, or is this one a lost cause already?Thanks for reading.
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clubbing, drunk, flirt, player Reply to this Question
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (3 October 2011):
N91 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well this hasn't turned out so great, the player (who's also a very good friend of mine) ended up sleeping with this girl this weekend just gone.
Felt like she'd lost interest anyway, I've tried talking to her since and what not and it's always me making the conversation so I'm taking the hint and moving on.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (29 September 2011):
N91 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHahaha! Yeah sorry about that. 2 it is :)
Thanks!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 September 2011):
 Hey - the Aunts said two more shots , now don't make it " few more " - don't cheat,lol
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (29 September 2011):
N91 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou wouldn't think she'd want to meet up with a guy who a womanizer though, she will know his rep and what he's after, so maybe she's in the same boat. I don't know maybe I'm just over thinking again lol
Ill give it a few more shots, as this has made me feel a little better, as I was saying I was ready to just call it a day and thought everyone else would tell me the same.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2011): I would be friendly but just back off trying to arrange a date. You've made every effort, so leave it. You never know things may still happen, but in the short term, put the whole thing on the back burner.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 September 2011):
 I'd give it a couple of shots if she blows you off two more times yeah she's sending mixed signals and is conflicted as well... but one or two more tries can't hurt.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (29 September 2011):
N91 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah that's a very good point cindy, I was thinking this in the back of my mind a little myself. That's why I was kinda bummed about it.
When we were out she did things to imply that she was interested, she was always dancing real close and kept coming over, so I'm kinda getting mixed signals on this one.
Ill take your advice, 2 reschedule attempts tops and then that's that.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (29 September 2011):
I am less optimistic than the other ladies, insofar I would not say it's a lost cause, but surely you are more enthusiastic about this perspective date than she is. It sounds like for her is sort of if it happens it happens, but she is not overly excited.
Like: she has a date on you for a Sunday. Well, if she drinks- and if she get hangovers, she knows the drill, therefore she knows not to drink so much on Saturday, so that she can keep her Sunday date. At least,I think that if she had been into you she would have made this simple reasoning. Also, when she could not make it on Sunday, why not rescheduling there and then ? Why not saying, too bad today I don't feel well, tell you what, let's meet up on ( insert day ) at ( insert time )? Why keeping playing it by ear ?
Yes, it could possibly be just bad timing or busy schedule , I am not saying that she is stringing you along. And yet- I would persist... but not too much. One more scheduling attempt, two at most. Remember, when there's a will there's a way, and people MAKES time for what they care about.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (29 September 2011):
N91 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, that's made me feel better, I was ready to just leave it at that. Any thoughts on her going to the cinema with other people though? Considering we were going to sort some plans out, seems a little odd that she would make plans elsewhere first!
I knew this other guy had been talking to her but he's onto someone new every week, he's only after one thing whereas I'm the total opposite, but its not gotten me anywhere in the past!
I've always been a compulsive overthinker and that's what spoils things for me sometimes.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 September 2011):
doesn't sound lost to me either... just that she's busy and your timing is off....
persist in trying to make a date with her that works for both of you...
and stop over thinking it.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 September 2011):
 It doesn't sound like it is a lost cause to me. It has just happened that the both off you haven't been able to make arrangements that suit the both of you as of yet. Don't give up on her yet. Just keep showing her that you are interested and see what happens. If you give up now you will never know what could have happened.
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