A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So, i'm in an AMAZING relationship with my girlfriend. She makes me happier than anything in the world. However, i get so upset about certain things. For example, she speaks about her ex alot. Like, "once we went to this place and it was great!". And it kind of upsets me everytime it comes up. What made it worse, was after a day out together, she took me to a shopping centre, to get this ex of hers a birthday present! She was even asking me what to get him, what he'd like, and even said that what she got wasn't enough, and went to get other stuff. Am i just being a jealous boyfriend? Afterwards, she realized i was upset, and we tried speaking about it. I told her how i felt, and her reaction was not speaking to me. She said i was accusing her of having feelings for him, etc... We had a massive argument, which basically was her saying that i couldn't change who her friends were. But i thought it was wrong to be close to your ex? Now, we're better, and happier. But she seems to text him loads. Once, when i had her phone in my hand, he text, and i realized she had text him the exact same thing that she text me... I know i may seem ridiculous, but after what happened last time, i don't feel i can confront her about it. It just upsets me that she never saw how it was wrong to take me shopping for him, or to text him loads... It's like i'm in the wrong. I have no idea what to do, and would love any help that anyone has to offer!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPleh, Thank you for your answer. And actually, i agree! But i can't lie, it was very hurtful, and still is, to find out that actually what i thought on it didn't matter. i KNOW that she'd hate me to be in contact with my ex. And i'm not, as it wouldn't be fair. But honestly, to Pleh AND Eek, i love her. More than anything in the world. She's made it clear that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, and perhaps i'm just being completely ridiculous! Thank you both for your input to the matter, it's really appreciated!!
A
male
reader, eek +, writes (27 October 2011):
 just an update to "pleh" I decided to trust my gf. Was not till she told me the truth that she has been cheating for months i realised my trust was misplaced. Then she moved out of my house to his. Its a red flag. Just keep it in your mind and dont end up alone feeling bitter like i do atm.
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A
male
reader, eek +, writes (27 October 2011):
my advise. Get rid of her. She has feelings for her ex and i bet if she has a chance with him again one day she will take it. Save yourself the heart ache and leave the relationship. Its hard but trust me from personal experience its for the best.
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A
male
reader, Pleh +, writes (27 October 2011):
I don't think you can say outright it's "wrong to be close to your ex". Plenty of people stay friends with their ex and as they once shared an intimate connection with that person, they may often be closer friends than "normal" friends. At the end of the day, it's her decision whether or not to keep this guy as a friend, not yours and if you start trying to tell her she shouldn't contact him or she shouldn't do whatever, you're actually pushing her further away. You're not alone though. I'm currently chasing a girl who is very good friends with her ex. There's no doubt it makes you feel uncomfortable, insecure and excluded - she actually did a similar thing about a birthday present. It's tough but if you care about someone, you have to try and let go of all those "what ifs" and just trust them to do the right thing. Trust is always stronger than jealousy, and if she sees you care about her enough to be okay with her decisions, I think it'll benefit you both.Good luck!
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