A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Do you think i'm in the wrong?i have a photo of this boy i met on holiday when i went away for a week when i was younger.My bf of 4 years is telling me i should get rid of it and asked me why i kept it in the 1st place. The reason i kept it is for holiday memories and i didn't feel like theres a need to get rid of it because that boy means nothing to me.its caused a big arguement now. i'm i in the wrong?
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female
reader, SlaYerAddict9007  +, writes (26 March 2011):
 Youre not doing anything wrong, it's just memories and you should tell him that, and that he doesnt need to be on alert.
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (26 March 2011):
I guess it depends on who was that boy for you. If he was just a friend and nothing emotional or physical happened between you two, I guess your boyfriend shouldn't be bothered. It would be different if that boy means nothing to you now, but there was something going on there in the past.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 March 2011):
 It depends on what you're doing with the picture. If it's tucked into a photo album of your memories, I think it's okay. However, if it's framed and sitting on your dresser, that's a big no-no.
When in doubt, think about what you'd feel comfortable about mementos of the past that your boyfriend keeps. If he had an ex's picture, how would you want him to deal with it.
Also, it makes a difference how accessible this other guy is. Are you pining for him and have the ability to contact him? Are you thinking about him now? That plays big.
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A
female
reader, msnewbeginning +, writes (26 March 2011):
 No because that picture cant do anything.
Don't broadcast it but getting rid of it is useless.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011): I don't think you are wrong to keep it but it's odd you would show it to him? He probably thought it meant more than it was b/c of the way you acted about it.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (26 March 2011):
 Yes and no. I think everyone is entitle to hang on to a few pictures of other romances/people they had in their past. The trick is to keep them well hidden. That means boxing them up, putting them in the attic, or storage, or safe deposit box, where ever you can stick them so they aren't easily accessible to either of you. People we are currently involved with do not want to feel you have these pictures at your fingertips because it makes them feel like part of you is still with that person and not fully committed to them. This guy, even though he may not have meant anything to you, he represents your past, which your current guy was not a part of. It's human nature to feel a little jealous about someone's past especially if it seems like they are working too hard to keep it close at hand. Tuck it away, out of sight, somewhere he won't find it and keep it buried there. Things should subside after that.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (26 March 2011):
 I dont think you're wrong at all. I have some wonderful holiday memories too, the most amazing time of my life in different countries where I met so many different people, each with a special place in my heart. I still have pictures and emails with them. Like you, I'm not romantically interested in them, although I did have some wild crushes at that time!! :)
Now they're only in my memory and a very special link to my past. My boyfriend knows about it and maybe it bothered him initially, but it doesnt anymore, because he's secure in our space together. You need to explain to your boyfriend that they are just memories and there's no need for him to feel threatened. He will understand I'm sure.
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