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Am I being naive or is this just a fantasy possible reality?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Friends, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 May 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 24 May 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *lackdoll24 writes:

(OP's own title)

These situations always start with...there is this guy.

I dated this guy two years ago, and well fell for each other really fast...to fast even, which is 180 from my norm in relationships.

dating only lasted several months as he admitted he was still dealing with feelings of an ex.

after a few drifting weeks we went our separate ways, and eventually became friends. We would contact each other randomly and few time for drinks, strictly as friends and I was happy to still have in my life. We did this for almost two years, and never really moved on to another potential relationship. I went on dates to move on, but never hit it off or slept with anyone else (except some office fling for a few months which never repayment anything to me) Secretly I wanted to see if this guy wanted to give it another go, but never saw an opening to let him know how i felt as he Always seemed to be dating someone.

Until recently our platonic relationship flourished as friends, but i let if slip i still had feeling for him all this time although I know he has a girlfriend. He admitted he was shocked and felt the same way and feelings he had buried made him question his current relationship making this a problem situation for both of us, to my surprise...he admitted he always thought i wasn't interested as i seemed cool and calm whenever we would catch up, but he secretly want to kiss and hold me apparently.

Well now the dilemma gets to the breaking heart point. We seemed to have got all feeling out in the open now, which is a triumphant thing for me as I'm not the best at expressing and talking about my feelings ( a big reason why i'm Single)

Last night made the mistake of googling him randomly and stumbled upon an announcement of his engagement to a former celebrity and the dates seem to cross over around the same time that we were communicating about our feelings for each other. There was no extensive talks of what were going to do, but my gut instinct is to walk away.

We have slept together and really only met up twice in the last 5 months and that involved no physical contact.

I seen situation like this go pear shaped usually for the female party in the situation, but in all honestly know he isn't your average snake of a guy. I'm a sensible girl and have dealt with and watched a lot of them at work.

I am now in a position where her would like to meet, but unsure if it is wise...although I can't help but think this is the second chance I have to not make the mistake of not fighting for this guy.

No children and exchange of gifts, money the usual bribery crap has gone on, just two people realizing an opportunity which was missed has arisen again but with someone else in the picture.

Anyone got a third party view on the situation, I would particularly like to hear from guys but welcome any ones feedback.

View related questions: at work, has a girlfriend, money, move on

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (24 May 2010):

Fatherly Advice agony auntWell that is one heck of a mess. He gave you honesty and shared his feelings with you. He gave her a ring and a promise. Looks like she wins. Sorry.

You could go on the offensive and try to win him back. All you will get is the satisfaction of knowing you lost completely.

Well there is one Guys opinion of the matter. Just a case of too little, too late.

FA

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