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Am I being messed about or does he like me?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 August 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2007)
A age 30-35, * writes:

theres a boy who i really like, and i think i love him.

well, we've been friends for a few years now, and i know him from school.

i still see him quite a bit, but whenever i do see him, we end up doing sexual things.

he knows i really like him, and i've spoken to him about it before.

but he said he doesn't want a relationship.

if he doesn't want a relationship then why does he want to do things with me?

i never know where i'm coming or going with him.

because he talks and flirts with a lot of other girls, and yeah i get jealous.

but it's the kind if jealousy that hurts.

i'm not sure whether he's messing me about or not.

sometimes he will ignore me too.

i try to hold back from doing these things with him, but i can't help it.

i wouldn't like to say no to him, incase it puts him off me.

i'm worried about never having a chance with him.

usually, when i try talking to him about it he just changes the subject, so i kind of have the feeling that he doesn't like me.

can anyone please help?

View related questions: flirt, jealous

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007):

hey girl, i just read what you had to say.. and you know what? he's just looks at you as a friend with benifits.. after reading that.. i know that's gotta be it.. there's plenty of bad guys out there and plenty of good guys.. that guy happens to be an idiot from what i just read.. if he flirts with other girls, i'd be like.. "forget it man, i can get somebody that ACTUALLY likes ME back." if i were you i'd find somebody else.. just be FRIENDS with him.. nothing sexual.. cause you're going to end up getting hurt sooner or later.. and leave him alone.. ya know? there's way better boys out there than that.. with respect and they'll probably actually like ya back.. well, i just thought i'd tell you what i think.. good luck tho! :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007):

hey girl, i just read what you had to say.. and you know what? he's just looks at you as a friend with benifits.. after reading that.. i know that's gotta be it.. there's plenty of bad guys out there and plenty of good guys.. that guy happens to be an idiot from what i just read.. if he flirts with other girls, i'd be like.. "fuck it man, i can get somebody that ACTUALLY likes ME back." if i were you i'd find somebody else.. just be FRIENDS with him.. nothing sexual.. cause you're going to end up getting hurt sooner or later.. and leave him alone.. ya know? there's way better boys out there than that.. with respect and they'll probably actually like ya back.. well, i just thought i'd tell you what i think.. good luck tho! :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007):

He likes you-i believe (: he's shy so he say he doesn't wanna have a relationship but in his heart, he wants to be with you! the reason why he's flirting with other girls because he's trying to make you jealous! so yeah, just keep up the good work of yours!

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A female reader, JessIzFit United Kingdom +, writes (17 August 2007):

JessIzFit agony auntHe doesn't want a realtionship with you but only the sex so yes he is messing you around, try and find some1 else to be with hun

all my love

Louise

XXXXX

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A female reader, beautifultrustnlover United States +, writes (17 August 2007):

beautifultrustnlover agony auntfirst you want a chance with him than stop making your self so EASY for him he is taking advantage of the fact you like him, so he may not like you but so what that just means you shouldn't waste anymore time with him being that he keeps you as a sex buddy and go find you a nice guy to love you and treat you right before he sleeps with you and gives you an std from some other girl he is sleeping with !!!

why are you letting him hurt you like this any ways ????

best of luck cut it off now

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (17 August 2007):

Danielepew agony auntYou are being messed with.

He knows you "really like him", which, to me at least, means he knows you love him; he replies he doesn't want a relationship, but then has sex with you. And then he ignores you.

You deserve a lot more than this user. If I were you, I would stop the sex and the contact.

Take care.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007):

This guy obviously isn't mature enough to deal with a relationship yet and you need to accept that. In reply to your question, 'am I being messed about?', then that depends. This guy has told you straight that he doesn't want a relationship, yet you have continued to do 'sexual things' with him. This is sending him the message that you are ok with the set up, and he won't realise that there is a problem unless you tell him that you are uncomfortable with being treated like this. On the other hand, many people your age enjoy 'open' relationships like this, as you get to have all the fun of a relationship whilst being free to see other people. There is nothing wrong with this as long as all parties are ok with it and you always practice safe sex. It seems that this is all this guy is wanting right now, you need to decide whether its for you or not.

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A female reader, accused United States +, writes (17 August 2007):

accused agony auntFirst thing is STOP doing SEXUAL things with him! If this man just wants to be around you or have anything to do with you at all, is only during sexual time, then do you really need a chance with him? If he respected you at all he would address the whole situation and either tell you (yes) or (no) he wants to try and pursue something with you, but it sounds to me like he's only in it for the pleasure... My best advice is leave him alone... and pursue someone who is worth giving a chance! Best of Luck!

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