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A co worker hates me and I want to quit.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 March 2018) 9 Answers - (Newest, 18 March 2018)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

a co worker who liked me originally, now hates me as I became friends with another co worker at work. she has stopped talking to me and just scowls me and swears under her breath if I go near her and try to talk to her or I give her an order to check on. the situation has become extremely uncomfortable. I haven’t mentioned this to the management as I’m too embarrassed and I don’t think they would get the situation properly. I’m thinking of quitting the job and don’t like to go into work especially knowing she is around. Ive been at company for five years, if I stay another couple of years it wouldn’t be worth it. what should I do?

need help on this

View related questions: at work, co-worker

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (18 March 2018):

N91 agony auntWhat did you say to them? And what did they reply?

I think if it's directly affecting your work performance then surely they must be able to do something.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2018):

Ive tried to not let it get to me, it’s awkward as anything, I’ve spoken to management and there’s nothing more that they can do.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (15 March 2018):

N91 agony auntI have a strong feeling that the situation will be resolved if management are involved.

I'd make a note of whenever she does something that makes your job hard work. If you're acting in a completely professional manner trying to work as normal and she is affecting company productivity, I really don't think management would let it slide.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 March 2018):

Honeypie agony auntIf she can't stop throwing tantrums you go to management.

Why should YOU leave your job because SHE is upset that you talk to someone else? You aren't married to her, are you? Or dating her? Or sleeping with her?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2018):

what if the issue can’t be resolved? what do I do then?

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (14 March 2018):

N91 agony auntLet her act like a child.

This isn't school, it's a workplace so all you have to do is act professional and stick to work talk. If she is making your job difficult, then I would get management involved. I would not even be considering quitting my job over someone falling out with me.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 March 2018):

Honeypie agony auntIgnore the drama. If she is butt-hurt THAT is her issue. You are there to work, so is she.

Now if you act like some office-Romeo trying to CHARM all the females there, then stop. It's not productive and causes drama that NO ONE needs.

No need to quit your job.. Are you going to let her win? Much better for you to take the high road and be PROFESSIONAL at work.

She will get over it. Especially if she starts to see that her tantrums doesn't AFFECT you at all.

You are a GROWN ass man, act like one.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (13 March 2018):

I think you need to be more an adult in this situation. You have allowed someone's passive-aggressive behavior intimidate you. What if encounter the same thing on the next job? Just keep quitting?

Stay put. She'll get-over herself. If you feel threatened in any way; you report it to Human Resources. You're at your place of business, not in the schoolyard. Abruptly leaving a job for no apparent reason doesn't look good on your resume.

Leave only if you find something better or looking for a better opportunity. Not because you're intimidated by someone who frowns at you.

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A female reader, YouWish United States + , writes (13 March 2018):

YouWish agony auntWork is your career and livelihood. You are at an age where you need to keep your work life and friend life separate. When you are working, it should be all professional, meaning you need the skills to deal with difficult co-workers. Worrying about some girl who has stopped talking to you should be HER problem, not yours.

Let no friendship or relationship keep you from doing your job well. The only time to concern management is if something or someone is hindering your work quality and production. They're not here for your social life.

You ignore the difficult person when you can and get on with your job. You have other friends beside this little toxic circle, right??

You keep your head down and WORK. Scowling and swearing under her breath should be child's play when it comes to what has you making a strategic career decision. Time to unhook emotionally from her, and it's time to do it NOW.

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