A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I started a relationship a little over 6 months ago after being single 5 years. I am older and our relationship is long distant (245 miles) but I have made the trek 13 weeks in a row myself and sometimes I really couldn't afford to but I did out of love and care. Now it seems the past is coming back to haunt him as ex lovers even started texting me (wrong of me to have my cell # on facebook - my bad), sending emails, following us places. (I will admit this now, we are 2 males and love is love no matter what.) His sister started problems right before Thanksgiving with us and now she will not bring her son over to see the family. His mother recently had no problem seeing us together or me giving him a hug, but now she is very distant and has just asked us not to be near each other when his sister is around.I have lately started to feel that he does not defend me as a person. He sleeps all the time and for long periods of time. Today he has already been asleep 9.5 hours and had the entire week off because of snow storm. I do feel that the relationship is heading south. Should I stay in this situation?
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (7 February 2011):
 give give give, and he just absorbs the giving. you are putting in all the effort- ask yourself this, if you didn't go to see him would he ever come to you? if not then whats the point. sounds to me like he is lazy (although depressed people sleep a lot-as do those addicted to sedatives).
try to get him to come to you- if he doesn't you have your answer
A
female
reader, TEM +, writes (5 February 2011):
 It sounds as if you are putting all the effort into the relationship and you do not feel you are getting the consideration you deserve. There are also a lot of external problems, but those can happen in most any relationship.
What really matters is how much you love each other. If it is not enough to battle the problems you are facing, then yes, it's time to end it.
If you feel it's worth the effort you put into it, then you must have an honest discussion with your lover. You must discuss all the problems and decide how you are going to deal with them, together, as a unified front.
Really, it's up to you. Is this relationship worth what it will take to make it work or not? Only you can decide.
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