A
male
age
26-29,
*ustAGuyInTheWorld
writes:Hey I'm a 17 yr old guy, my girlfriend is 14, yes I know that a big age differance this young. We are very much in love, strong word but true. I have asked her about sex and she said she doesnt want to go that far, but she keeps throwing me mixed signals, she asks if I want to, she asks if I think shes a bad girlfriend because she doesnt want to, and she kinda acts like she might want to. Shes a virgin, I was her first kiss and she hasnt ever done anything sexual. Thats a big plus on my end, but I dont want to pressure her into anything she doesnt want to do, but I would love any sexual activity from her.... What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2011): Yah I see a young girl attempting to play at being an older, more experienced, bad girl. Jeesh. I feel for this girl because I think its the stupid media and sexualization of young women that sends them stupid ideas that all they are good for is sex. THEN she's dating you and at your age- regardless if your 'intentions' that you vocalize are 'pure' they are not. You just told everyone on this site, you do in fact WANT Sex. Thus re-affirming she is only good for that. GREAT!End it. She's playing with fire and you KNOW better. I have always held the belief that the reason older boys date younger girls is because they stand a greater chance at forcing or persuading a younger girl to do things they will later regret.If it was truly about respect and companionship, there would be no thought or temptations of sex.Reason why I don't think teens should be having sex in the first place, regardless of hormones. We are masters over our bodies and minds; not animals.And if you hold true to being more animal than a reasoning being- than the Pedophile and Sexual Predators are just acting on their instinct.SERIOUSLY. Draw a line DUDE and break it off.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 November 2011):
 " I would love any sexual activity from her.... "
and the subsequent jail time?
and the life long branding of a sexual predator?
in the USA this is an illegal relationship and worse so when you turn 18....
she's 14 honey she may LOOK like a woman but she's still a CHILD... does she have dolls still? stuffed animals? my daughter did at 14....
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2011): Even if you haven't directly said something to pressure her into it then it doesn't matter because she is already aware that you want it and will be feeling pressure anyway to give you what you want. At the end of the day she's 14 and way too young to be facing those decisions. It is not fair to ask a 14 year old if she is ready. There is a reason that laws state the age of consent, it's because it is deemed that anyone under that age is unable to make a mature, informed decision and at 14 no matter how mature for her age you may think she is she is not mature enough to handle the possibility of pregnancy or other emotional issues that she may feel after having sex. If you truly love her then you would not ask about sex and even if she offers you would tell her to wait. If you don't feel you could do that then perhaps you should consider finding a partner who is your age and able to legally consent.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (29 November 2011):
 Your not behaving nicely.. this is a child you are dating, last year she was still liked dolls more than boys. In a years time you'll be 18 and an adult. She's never had a boyfriend before, she's never ever been kissed, and all you can think about is, how can I get some sex with her. From unkissed virgin to girl doing underage sex, in what, a couple of months.
Why you pick a girl so young, so you can pressure her into giving you her virginity, when she doesn't want that, she's not even interested in sex.
If you want sex, go and find an older girl, leave this child alone. If you want to be a proper boyfriend, then stop all talk about sex. Keep your relationship to kissing only. Cross your legs and behave. She's not as old as you, sex isn't on her mind yet, when she is older, when she her body and mind becomes more developed, then she will start wondering about sexual things.
I feel sorry for her parents, they would be horrified if they knew what was in your mind. Coming here to ask advice on how to seduce an underage girl, that shows a high level of manipulation, your thinking of yourself and your not showing care to somebody so much younger than you.
Have you got sisters? Can you remember being 14? (sexually girls at 14 are more like 12)
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (29 November 2011):
 You are already pressuring her, it is obvious from her comments that she is well aware you want sex and is feeling like you are going to leave her if she doesnt, she is feeling very pressured already.
I promise you she is not giving you mixed signals - what is happening is pressure. She knows you want sex, and she feels like she is not giving you what you want, therefore she is worried she might lose you. And that my friend is a form of emotional blackmail and lots of pressure on your poor girlfriend. She knows she doesnt want sex yet, but it worried that you might look elsewhere is she doesnt give it to you - so she is torn between doing something she doesnt want to do, or losing you. She 100% doesnt want sex, I am sure of that.
And you are forgetting that having sex at your current age is illegal - just because you are underage too doesnt make it ok, the fact that there is 3 years between you means that you could get into a lot of trouble. And not just a warning - this could be prison, a criminal record...with the age gap that you have this would be taken very seriously.
I think what you need to do is back off - dont talk about sex any more with your girlfriend, you are already worrying her and pressuring her so you need to stop mentioning it. The more you talk about it the worse she is going to feel, she already feels bad enough as it is so you need to stop now. It is not fair on her, she is just a child and has made it very clear that she is not ready for sex. Respect her choice and dont mention it again, she will come to you when she is ready. Until that day keep quiet, if you truly love her then you wont want her to do something she isnt comfortable with.
Be a good guy, reassure her that she wont lose you if she doesnt have sex with you, and wait until you are both legal before you start thinking about sex.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2011): I am sorry but your girlfriend is 14, anything sexual is illegal, once you turn 18 you can be had up for statutory rape, and be listed as a sex offender. Whether she wants to or not is not an issue, the fact that she is 14 means that legally she can't consent to do anything sexual. If you love her, you will wait 4 years until she is 18 and can consent legally before doing anything sexual. If you can't wait, at least wait until your 18 and then find someone who is 18 years old. If you really love her, then you will wait for her no matter how long it takes.
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A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (29 November 2011):
Do you love her? Seriously -- do you love her?
If you do, then you won't f**k her. Because she's too young to give informed consent. She might want to do it. But it would be seriously wrong. She'd be making a bad decision. You, being older, know that she's making a bad decision.
Enjoy being with her. Have fun. But don't let it get sexual. Be a good guy.
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male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (29 November 2011):
 At BOTH your ages, living where you do, ANY sexual activity is illegal. Also remember that she will be liable to prosecution as well as you, although it will be more likely to be you and you will attract a criminal record and be placed on the Sex Offenders' Register.
Is that what you want?
The laws are in place to protect you both, as you are too young to indulge and not remotely ready for parenthood yet.
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A
female
reader, synchrohobbit +, writes (29 November 2011):
 Those are not mixed signals. She is just trying to gauge what you think about her decision, and decide if she is making you happy. I am very confused about why her lack of sexual experience is a big plus for you; it's a plus for her, since she is a 14 year old GIRL who has not even come close to finishing puberty. Remember that is most states her parents could press charges against you in the coming year when you hit 18, so keep that in mind when considering both sex and this relationship.
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A
female
reader, monacons  +, writes (29 November 2011):
Awh you may love your girlfriend but remember what is connected to sex which is std's and also pregnancy, she is still very young to even be thinking about sex but hey i guess everyone is diffrent right!! All you can do is tell her you still love her and that there is more to a relationship then just sex!! you love her even if ye dont have sex and also reasure her that you will wait till she is ready.. Im a girl i know how it works she is feeling insecure as you could leave her and have sex with someone else im sure this is not the case she i think you should bout sit down and have a talk abou this and clear things up...
Hope this helps
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