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... Send *isione a private message | | | *isione's profile:My username comes from the song Vision One by Royksopp.
I'm a college student who likes analytical thinking (sadly I'm not a philosophy major), but I also sympathize (and empathize) easily. I figure I would be decent at giving advice since I can take a rather neutral third-party stand point. Hope I can be of some help~ |
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Got this crush on my female teacher-I know it's wrong! Help!
Q. Hello! I'm 16 and female and I have a crush on one of my female teachers. Well, I haven't got her in any lessons at the moment, but she was my German teacher for two years. She seemed to like me and so it happened that we got to talk in lunchtim...
A. 17 February 2010: Take time to sort out your emotions, it never feels good to be rejected like that. But at least now you know what it feels like, and rejection in the future won't be as bad!
Respect her wishes though if she says no, look for positives in other as... (read in full...)
I still love my ex even though he treated me like dirt and I have someone new
Q. Me and my ex have been together for a year on and off he treated me like crap and I still took him back everytime. He cheated and broke up with me millions of times and he even kissed my sister and I still love him. I can tell he doesn't want ...
A. 29 January 2010: But what about him makes you still "love" him? He has done a lot of things to hurt you yet you still hold on? I'm glad you have found someone new who treats you right, but you should respect your new bf by forgetting about your ex. How can you still ... (read in full...)
I haven't been interested in anyone in 6 years, is this normal?
Q. I haven't liked a guy in the past 6 years. Before I used to like guys all the time. A year wouldn't pass that there wasn't someone I was interested in or had feelings for. For the past 6 years I haven't had feelings for anyone. I don't think ...
A. 29 January 2010: No one has been good enough for you. ;)
It's normal, you just haven't been hanging around people who particularly interest you, or you have been busy with things other than finding a relationship. Or that thought just hasn't occurred to you. You... (read in full...)
He treats his friends better than me, but am I being selfish?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 10 months, the problem is that he takes care of his friends all the time he buys things for them to eat, if they have a football game he pays for them to play, if they are short on money he helps them out! but when ...
A. 29 January 2010: Approach him about this topic... it's been 10 months! Was he like this from the beginning? He probably got used to having you around and no longer wishes to work for your attention and such. You are kind of being taken for granted - a lot of people ... (read in full...)
Do you have any suggestions for me, or for my ex?
Q. I am in a very confusing situation. Firstly, after a one year relationship, my partner and I decided to separate. The problems we had were actually external to our relationship, but had a huge affect on our relationship. So we thought it was just ...
A. 29 January 2010: Whoa this seems like a MESS. First of all, what is keeping you away from your ex? Second of all, if this is really keeping you two apart, you should just leave at that. Cut it off and stop pursuing it in any form. You two are dragging on the hurt ... (read in full...)
Does he still have feelings for me?
Q. I was involved with a man and during that time we've had our ups and downs.. he used to tell me how I wasn't affectionate enough and that I was mean.. here's the thing , I care about him so much that I've been doing some self improvement both ...
A. 29 January 2010: Oh sweetie, you should have had told him earlier - but now you've learned your lesson - you should keep communication open and tell him how you feel, especially when it comes to rather important things such as this.
When you better yourself... (read in full...)
My ex bailed after over 2 decades, no warning, told me he didn't love me, left me to be a single parent with no financial income, and sees our kids maybe every 4 to 8 wks
Q. What if 3 kids are involved? And the ex has cut them off financially and emotionally as well? That's what my ex did, bailed after over 2 decades, no warning, told me he loved me, left me to be a single parent with no financial income, sees our kids...
A. 29 January 2010: Wow I'm sorry this has happened to you. It's one of those things you grow up thinking "oh, that will never happen to me!" and you lead a decent life where everything is right... until this.
That is truly terrible, for you as well as your kids. Yo... (read in full...)
Three is NOT company...
Q. I'm in a horrendous situation and I need help. I'm living in the same apartment as three of my exes, two of which live on the same floor. I'm not on speaking terms with one of them and she's doing everything she can to drive me crazy because I ...
A. 29 January 2010: Wow how did you end up in such a predicament? :(
Did you already sign the lease and moved everything in and such? Any way you can go about finding someone to take your place so you can move elsewhere?
If moving is not an option whatsoever - be ... (read in full...)
How can I learn to trust again?
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me 3 months ago our relationship has been very hard for us since then. I never once suspected he was cheating on me and one day out of the blue he told me the truth and said that it was eating him alive and hes so sorry. It ...
A. 29 January 2010: It'll take time for you heal and trust again. It's up to you to forgive him - just keep communication clear between the two of you and make sure nothing leaves you feeling uncertain. You'll need some time to get your thoughts straight and he does as ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he seems interested in me..
Q. OKay I have recently moved to europe for a year. I went into a popular bar here and I saw someone that worked there. I was immediately captivated by him. so then i couldnt stop thinking about him.. I went in there again and a friend that is from ...
A. 29 January 2010: Turn 180 degrees around and walk away, avoid that bar if you can. Maybe it's because I value loyalty above all else, but I immediately back down if I found out a guy I was interested in already had a gf. If you want to pursue him as just a friend, ... (read in full...)
Long-distance, is it really worth the wait?
Q. Long story short- we met a few months before college. Everything seemed perfect, until it was time to leave. We've been in a long distance relationship for almost two years now. Finding a good time to visit eachother is rare. Half of the time plans ...
A. 29 January 2010: You obviously aren't happy with how things are, how does she feel? Are you satisfied with your relationship, can YOU see this continuing for another 2 years? LDRs are very difficult to maintain and require a lot of work from both sides, it's pretty ... (read in full...)
Got this crush on my female teacher-I know it's wrong! Help!
Q. Hello! I'm 16 and female and I have a crush on one of my female teachers. Well, I haven't got her in any lessons at the moment, but she was my German teacher for two years. She seemed to like me and so it happened that we got to talk in lunchtim...
A. 29 January 2010: I think it's alright to have a crush on a teacher, but you shouldn't go any further than that. You two should respect each other wishes on no hugs. People change as they grow, you are still young. What you feel may just be a fantasy feeling, and ... (read in full...)
Jealousy problem.. is it that bad??
Q. Ok its a friendship problem... My best Friend and i are really close even though we dont have a lot in common but we manage to be best friends and we understand each other... But i think were not getting along anymore because there are a lot of gir...
A. 29 January 2010: Why are you scared you might get into a fight with her? Are other girls spreading rumors or trying to take her away or what? Do you think she is making bad decisions because of them? What exactly is the issue?
You should talk to her about it and e... (read in full...)
I'm so insecure in my relationship all of a sudden! How can I stop?
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost two years and just recently (about 6 months ago) I've started to become really insecure. I am getting more and more insecure everyday and its for little things like if he says no to something that i ...
A. 29 January 2010: Religion is something you cannot change from a person, and if it bothers you that much you should just cut your losses early rather than late. That is something that can cause a high amount of incompatibility if you do not accept his ways and he ... (read in full...)
I need help to get me back on track of focusing on me and my goals.
Q. Hey aunts and uncles i really need advice my boyfriend and i were having problems and i was sos deeply in love with him i stopped focusing on myself and my goals to help him obtain and find his but now i feel like i need to take a break from people ...
A. 29 January 2010: It sounds like you ended up becoming dependent on him, and him on you. It's good that you see this is an issue and that you are YOU and you need to get things back on track.
What kind of job is it? If he gets it would he be around you all the time... (read in full...)
What do I do to save our relationship? What do I do to make up for my mistake?
Q. A few years ago, I met a girl. We were both in relationships at the time and we carried on kind of a long distance friendship. About a year ago, after I split with my ex, we started to talk more, and even though we lived a long ways apart, we ...
A. 29 January 2010: She needs to forgive you and let it go. It's not on your part now, you have already done everything. You have been honest, you have changed, you have admitted it was a mistake. She has every right to be angry about it, but she shouldn't let that ... (read in full...)
Should I let things settle and just be patient?
Q. I've dated bf for 7 years now. I've always had hope in him because after 4 months of dating, I wanted him to be my future husband. After 4 years of solid dating, I started to change my mind/heart. I started to feel that the grass might be greener on ...
A. 29 January 2010: This sounds pretty complicated.
1. Grass is greener syndrome - everyone gets it at sometime (or often times) in their relationship when things are rocky. It's idealism, it's expectations... doesn't mean the grass over there will live up to it.
... (read in full...)
Why don't I trust my boyfriend? do I need help?
Q. So, im 18 years old and i started not trusting my boyfriend and getting fishy ever since this: to make a long story short: he gave me his email account/password back in sept to check something. In Dec, i went on his account because i got fi...
A. 29 January 2010: But he deleted those pictures right? Do you trust him?
Anyways, you know who will answer those questions at the back of your head? That's right, him. You should talk to him about your concerns. You should not just "sit and wait and hope things a... (read in full...)
It's as if she doesn't want to even see me anymore
Q. Basically, my girlfriend keeps having mood swings at me and keeps telling me to **** off.....half the time she says she is joking. I have barely seen her outside of college for over a month and i used to see her often, but she says its because...
A. 29 January 2010: It's alright to be clingy, I wish people will stop stereotyping that as a female things because I know plenty of guys who are like that. As long as you aren't obsessive, which I don't think you are.
Those are pretty bad/insensitive jokes and that... (read in full...)
I have just found out that he actually has a girlfriend of three years, who he lives with. I am at rock bottom
Q. I feel like a right fool. Me and this guy at work have been flirting for about a year and have kissed a numerous occasions, he only shows an interest now and then which never makes me feel good because I know he is just using me for a quick thri...
A. 29 January 2010: Argh I hate people like this. They play with people's hearts and then wonder why some people are so closed off. I'm sorry you had to find out about this so late. They are just players, they feel no guilt toying with other people's emotions. It's not ... (read in full...)
I want to meet my online boyfriend
Q. my boyfriend and i love each other so much, but the only problem is that we haven't met. we've been dating online and we've exchanged cell numbers...and he wants to met on my b'day but i do ont wanna met there, it's too far but i'll pull some ...
A. 29 January 2010: How long have you known him? Have you seen pictures of each other? I know everyone is tired of the "be careful about him!" sayings, but it's true.. make sure you trust him completely before meeting (and meet in a public place!) and don't go if you ... (read in full...)
I was dissapointed I was not pregnant at 15.
Q. Alright, well my boyfriend and I have been together for a while now and last week we had a pregnancy scare, I'm not but for some reason we were both kind of disapointed when my period came. Even though we should have been over joyed. I mean if I ...
A. 29 January 2010: Do you have a place to settle down? Do you have reliable transportation? You are still so young and you have a LOT to experience in life. I just don't want you to be one of those people who have one early in life, only to realize they missed out on ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain to me what LOVE is?
Q. Can someone explain to me what LOVE is? My Mother thinks it is remaining monogamous for 53 years. Till my Father died. I don't know I have had 3 Long lasting relationships in life the latter ending in Marriage. I still don't know what love is...
A. 29 January 2010: I think the reason why many people have difficulties coming up with the true definition of love is because:
1. Media overhypes love. They make it seem so romantic and so happy - ever since we are children they put that concept into our minds...... (read in full...)
Do you think he was just trying to hurt me because I hurt him?
Q. Hey guys.. I really need your help. Me and my ex recently started seeing each other again, his idea, and we met a couple of times and had a really nice time and we kissed and he told me he loved me etc. But over the past week, he hasn't really ...
A. 29 January 2010: This is why you should maintain no contact with your ex until you are emotionally over him. That way when you meet up you can talk to him without those old feelings interrupting reason and logic. Break ups happen for a reason and most people don't ... (read in full...)
I'm walking on eggshells ................
Q. Hi, me and my girlfriend are going through some problems. We've been together for just over 4 months now and in that time we have encountered a few turbulent periods in our relationship. One ongoing problem is sleeping at her flat. I find her bed ...
A. 29 January 2010: She is acting quite childish, but some people are just demanding like that. In your 4 months has she always shown some of these qualities or is it just recently? Perhaps now you are seeing the real "her". Most of the time people don't put down their ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is selfish.... or am I selfish by thinking this?
Q. I am really confused. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now and he seems so selfish. Don't get me wrong, there are many good things about him which make it hard to decide whether I should end the relationship. He works hard, he...
A. 29 January 2010: It's like those people you read about who choose their career (or whatever) over their spouse... do you want to stay with someone like that, who doesn't even pay any attention to you? He is obviously not ready to settle down - I mean honestly, a ... (read in full...)
Why do men enjoy telling their women about their conquests?
Q. Why do men enjoy telling their women about their "conquest" and flirting episodes with other women, mainly younger, and sexier than us?...
A. 29 January 2010: That should definitely be a red flag for you, steer clear of these guys! Any man who respects women would not act like that. It's not only disrespectful but insensitive.. one day he could be talking like that about you.... (read in full...)
I worry about my sexuality
Q. I am 16 nearly 17 year old male, And i have a problem. I am firstly very conscious about my appearance (overweight, i myself would like to be more muscular) but thats not important, i believe myself to also be a late bloomer...but thats not importan...
A. 29 January 2010: You are at an age where many question their sexuality. I wouldn't worry too much about it, or at least wait a few years when you understand your self/identity more. Arousal can also be caused by many different things for different people, it does ... (read in full...)
Why do some people in our lives persistently show up in dreams, while others do not?
Q. Why do some people in our lives persistently show up in dreams, while others do not? For instance, there is an ex boyfriend who I haven't seen or talked to in almost six years and I haven't thought much about him or dreamt about him really at al...
A. 29 January 2010: Perhaps something has recently reminded you about him? Or I could be wrong. The thing about dreams is, they aren't really meant to be deciphered (unless you believe in that). It is simply your mind reorganizing information at night. One of my frie... (read in full...)
Should I choose my friends or my work?
Q. Ok im going to make it easy on my first term at school i didn't get a good grade on my report card, and this term im studying so hard that im actually getting exellent grades and my parents are really happy for that. But the problem is that ...
A. 29 January 2010: It's all about balance. Academics should always be priority, but you should allow yourself time to hang out with your friends. Don't be too hard on yourself, but if your academics start slipping then you know you haven't invested enough time on ... (read in full...)
I don’t have a girl to talk to and to just do stupid things like gossip and go to the spa with anymore
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. I can’t even explain how much we’ve gone through together but he has always been there for me. The problem is while I was going through certain things in my life I lost pretty much all of ...
A. 29 January 2010: CaringGuy gives great advice, your relationship sounds very dependent and unbalanced. This can lead to emotional rollercoasters when one side or the other gets fed up. Your bf not allowing you to make friends sounds like he is very dependent on you ... (read in full...)
Why don't I trust my boyfriend? do I need help?
Q. So, im 18 years old and i started not trusting my boyfriend and getting fishy ever since this: to make a long story short: he gave me his email account/password back in sept to check something. In Dec, i went on his account because i got fi...
A. 29 January 2010: I understand how you feel about losing trust :( but he obviously respects you in the sense that he even gave you his login information (perhaps he feels like he has nothing to hide), deleted things without excuses upon confrontation, and ignores the ... (read in full...)
What should I do about my friend? I really liked him and I want us to be together!
Q. What do you do when your best friend that you like talks to his friends more than you? When hes in a group he stares and I threw a random object at him and he smiled. he always makes it seem like he wants to talk to me and when I get home he talks ...
A. 29 January 2010: Are you reading his liking-you as more than what he means? Could it be he just really likes you as a close friend? You should ask him directly so you won't keep asking yourself "if" questions. You state that he is your best friend - he migh... (read in full...)
School, Crush, Dreams, Hopes and Fears
Q. I have a big crush on this guy in one of my classes and I'm pretty sure he likes me too. We had to do this project and we had to ask a person questions about them and write a story. One of my questions was something like what do you want to be doing ...
A. 28 January 2010: Those are your aspirations, he should be impressed or interested in them, this is actually a great opportunity for him to know a bit more about you and vice versa. A lot of things could change in those 5 years (what I wanted even a year ago is ... (read in full...)
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