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... Send *ncle PJ a private message | | | *ncle PJ's profile:Hi everyone. I've been helping friends and family throughout my life and have decided to do the same for you guys. Unless you count psychology A-level, I'm not 'officially' qualified to do this but I really enjoy helping people out. I'm a great listener and will listen to any problems you have, however trivial it may sound.
I will always try my hardest to give you an answer and help you. Living in the countryside allows me to have a really close network of friends and depend on each other to help each other out. I look forward to hearing your problems and I will always dedicate time to helping you out. |
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Who is right, me or my wife? And what advice do we give our friends?
Q. I searched the internet for advice sites, and I ended up here. We (my wife and I) have a question. We have some friends who are a little younger than us (mid 20's). They are engaged to be married. The Guy has an apartment, and the Girl moved back ...
A. 10 April 2012: First and foremost, whatever happens between them or on here should not come between you and your wife. You may disagree on this but it shouldn't your strong relationship. As for this, I think your wife may be right. If the girlfriend wants... (read in full...)
A harmless crush? Or am I right to be upset by my wife's behaviour?
Q. OK. My spouse basically admitted that she has/or had a crush on one of our male friends. She says that I should be fine with it because she would never cheat on me. I told her that I find her affection for the guy, the way she looks at him, hangs ...
A. 2 April 2012: I think the crush is definitely a possibility amongst married people. Once you've been with someone a long time it easy to fall under the spell of someone else who gives you just as much attention. But I do think your wife is right when she says a ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to view porn together?
Q. Hey, I need some perspectives (esp. from guys) on whether guys viewing porn with their guy buddies is a normal thing or not! My bf is open about the fact he occasionally looks at porn sites, and I know he has downloaded videos in the past. He once ...
A. 29 March 2012: From my experience at uni, there are times when a group of guys sit around the laptop and view porn. But there is difference between how a guy acts when watching porn alone to when watching in a group. As you already know, when a guy watches it o... (read in full...)
He has a new girlfriend only 3 weeks after we broke up, will he really be ok when I meet someone else? I cant believe this after he used to say I was the love of his life!
Q. My ex and my baby's daddy has a new girlfriend, he keeps telling me that it will not bother him when i meet someone else, is this true? we were together four years have two children together. he says i was the love of his life his world but only ...
A. 26 March 2012: The odds are he will get upset when you meet someone else, this is because he will realise that he has no control over you anymore and, for some reason, it tends to hurt his ego or whatever.
This doesn't necessarily mean that he would want you... (read in full...)
Why do shy guys give off the impression they are mean or don't like you?
Q. I really hope I do not come off as rude or judgmental or annoying But I am curious, as to why some shy guys give off the impression that they are mean or do not like you (I'm sorry I don't really know how to word what I am trying to ask) But...
A. 23 March 2012: The brother may or may not like you. It could be that he doesn't like you or it could be that he is a slight crush on you and resents you for liking his brother (if he knows you have a crush on him).
Being a shy guy myself, when it comes to girls... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is choosing to masturbate to porn over having sex me!
Q. hi i am 21 and my partner is 23. we been together 6 months but known each other 8 yrs. i am a mum to a 4 yr old. me and my partner used to have sex all the time.....about 4/5 times a week, now everytime i go to touch him or blow him he pushes me ...
A. 23 March 2012: It would seem that your partner may be suffering an addiction to porn. Even though he started it before you were pregnant, some guys, for some reason, find it unattractive to have sexual contact with their pregnant partner. That must horrible for ... (read in full...)
I'm just the stop gap girl!
Q. Hey, I'm so fed up I'm just always the girl in-between, I met boy and we start dating and it always ends with them texting me sorry ur an awsome girl but I'm getting with someone. This have happened to me for a year now and can't remember how ...
A. 21 March 2012: What you need to know first and most importantly of all is that you have done nothing wrong. You seem like a lovely girl and that must be how these other guys see it. Unfortunately, these other guys are taking advantage of your niceness until ... (read in full...)
I know I'm too young for a boyfriend, but I still feel really lonely!
Q. Since I don't have a boyfriend and you guys made me realize that I should wait for one because I'm too young. Agreed. But lately I've been feeling so so lonely. I go to a high school where you cannot really approach people. You actually can't ap...
A. 20 March 2012: I know high school can be a daunting place. But throwing yourself at a guy because you want/need a boyfriend will probably only leave you hurting emotionally afterwards.
I'm sure there must be a friend somewhere there for you. If not, you may ... (read in full...)
Trying to be supportive to my friend but I cant cope with her behaviour much longer, what should I do?
Q. My friend has been upsetting me.lately because she is using her baby to make me feel guilty and play silly mind games. She hasnt got alot of family and i promised that i would be there for her as much as i could be when baby arived. I work long ho...
A. 20 March 2012: It sounds a little bit like your friend doesn't really want her baby. As it has nothing to do with you physically, I don't understand how she thinks that she can just land her baby on you whenever she feels like it. It also sounds like the father ... (read in full...)
I don't know why he did this, and why I let myself be treated like trash. Was it all my fault? Or is he partly to blame?
Q. I added a guy i vaguely knew from school on Facebook and he accepted. (this was in 2008) We started chatting online, reminiscing and what not and eventually we arranged to meet up after he got back from travelling. I barely knew him from school (we ...
A. 20 March 2012: It is your fault that you let yourself get used in this way and get treated awfully. But it is not your fault that he is a complete asshole and wanted to use you. He probably will text you as well at some point, but only when he feels that you h... (read in full...)
Is this cheating? should I say anything to her or let it go?
Q. I NEED SO MUCH HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!A couple weeks ago my GF and I broke up. We broke up for the weekend. She thought/thinks I am not the type to go hook up with other girls. Just because of my past and just who I am.. Well dating her I changed....
A. 13 March 2012: You may well have been technically single. But to get off with that many women that quickly is possibly the most stupid thing you could have possibly done. It doesn't really show how much you care about her when you're willing to forget about her ... (read in full...)
I am so scared of losing her.
Q. So me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. We have loved each other fully and we would do anything for each other. But recently we had a scare where my girlfriend thought I cheated on her and it scared her. She believes me that I ...
A. 12 March 2012: Don't feel like you shouldn't have responded because she made the first contact. That seems to mean that she is still needing the reassuring from you and you are giving so keep that up. If you would have left it, she may have got worried about you ... (read in full...)
Are you always going to miss your ex?
Q. I was just wondering do you always miss your ex?. Like I broke up with mmy ex 4 years ago but at times i still miss him...Does this happen everyone and does this stay with you forever?...
A. 11 March 2012: Have you been in a relationship since? Was this ex like your first 'love' or something other. It's natural to miss your ex when you haven't replaced them or haven't really moved on.
There are the certain conversations you have that are all abou... (read in full...)
Why do I want my ex back when he was so awful to me?
Q. i was in an abusive relationship for about 5 months.. i love him very much he was everything to me. i gave up my family and friends for him, we were living together at my apartment which he didnt help at all.... he was verbally abuse with me, he ...
A. 11 March 2012: Do not, under any circumstances, get back with him. He is an awful person and has treated so badly. It's not unusual for abused women to want to remain in their relationships.
This is because you feel that you have nowhere better to go and that... (read in full...)
My best friend has started dating and is using the girl to avoid me
Q. I don't know what to do about my best friend. He started dating this new girl and for some reason is avoiding me. Anytime I ask him to come over he makes up a lame excuse like, "he has to take his niece to the mall." Yesterday, i had finally got him ...
A. 11 March 2012: Sometimes having a girlfriend changes people. Unfortunately, your friend seems to be one of those people. It could be a number of things, it could be that you two are starting to just naturally grow apart. Or his girlfriend is rather possessive and ... (read in full...)
Porn and erectile dysfunction?
Q. I have a question about porn and ed. I have come to discover stories of men who have trouble getting erect over a real woman when they have used porn alot. Is that because those porn women are hotter? Would they still have that problem if a woman ...
A. 10 March 2012: It sounds like that problem you're referring to is symptoms of addiction. It is a psychological thing that unfortunately you girls can't do anything about. Once a guy has forced the idea that what turns him on is watching porn or a certain porn t... (read in full...)
I am so scared of losing her.
Q. So me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. We have loved each other fully and we would do anything for each other. But recently we had a scare where my girlfriend thought I cheated on her and it scared her. She believes me that I ...
A. 10 March 2012: It sounds just like a soap drama and I'm sure there will be a happy ending at the end of it. There are some things you just can't provide for a loved one and that's their security of where they're going in life.
Once she has reassessed her life... (read in full...)
How to become my boyfriend's best friend?
Q. My boyfriend and I are very much in love, and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. We are extremely close and get on very well. However, I recall him saying that a girl that he used to date last year became his best friend (they stopped ...
A. 9 March 2012: This slightly comes down to how long you have been together? If you've only been together for less than six months then it's definitely natural to feel slightly annoyed and even more insecure. I'm not entirely sure approachable he will be on it if ... (read in full...)
I am so scared of losing her.
Q. So me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. We have loved each other fully and we would do anything for each other. But recently we had a scare where my girlfriend thought I cheated on her and it scared her. She believes me that I ...
A. 9 March 2012: It's good that you're going to tell her that. But you mustn't be blunt about it. You must express it carefully and make sure you give her the reasons why. Tell her it's in her best interests and that you will definitely still be there at the end of ... (read in full...)
I am smart, not pretty & a nerd, what can I do to belong and bot be laughed at?
Q. Hey so it's not really relationship but please I need you guys: I'm in my third year of senior school and I am an A* student. I have a passion for art; I work hard in class and I'm on the top 21 list of students in my year and the Gifted and Talen...
A. 8 March 2012: Right first of all, you are not ugly. If you think this about yourself then what chance have you got of anyone else thinking highly of you. Once you think better and are more confident within yourself and are proud to be who you are, people will ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong, to want to know what happened between my bf & his ex??
Q. me and my boyfriend were in tesco the other day and we saw his ex! it was weird she followed us round the store, I dont know much about his ex as when i ask him he says he doesnt want talk about it, ive asked my mum too coz i thought it was weird ...
A. 8 March 2012: It's natural to be curious about your boyfriend's ex, but I wouldn't get too hung up on it if I were you. A lot of guys usually just want cut and run when a relationship is over. That way they can move on quicker without hanging onto the past or the ... (read in full...)
My mom can be so cold hearted!
Q. So I'm pregnant and everytime I seem to ask for some help from my mom it seems like I'm asking her for a lung. We never had the best relationship she's there and she provides love and whatnot but besides that she can be really really coldhearted. ...
A. 8 March 2012: It would seem she's resenting you for leaving her. I know it's not your fault but parents (as you will find out) go through a hell of a lot to bring us up and when we leave them, it kills them. Some parents are more willing to accept it than others ... (read in full...)
I am so scared of losing her.
Q. So me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. We have loved each other fully and we would do anything for each other. But recently we had a scare where my girlfriend thought I cheated on her and it scared her. She believes me that I ...
A. 8 March 2012: I think she has reached the age where she needs to be doing something with her life. I think she's becoming a little scared that she is going to end up doing nothing with her life and it is slightly scaring her. I'm not sure you are really using... (read in full...)
Is it ok to feel something for your best friend when they don't return the feelings?
Q. is it okay to feel 'something' when you see a guy of your age. because whenever i look at my best friend i always wonder how will it feel if he kisses me. i even had a dream about him kissing me. Is it okay to feel like this about your best friend ...
A. 8 March 2012: Yes it's okay but unless it interferes with your friendship, I wouldn't really bring it up with him. I also would try not to fantasise about him to the point where you think you have a chance to be with him because that could leave you broken ... (read in full...)
How to become my boyfriend's best friend?
Q. My boyfriend and I are very much in love, and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. We are extremely close and get on very well. However, I recall him saying that a girl that he used to date last year became his best friend (they stopped ...
A. 8 March 2012: Are you feeling insecure about him liking her or about having sex with him? If it's the first, I wouldn't worry as he's with you and only has eyes for you. As for the second thing. Sex needs be communicated about. You both will enjoy it more wh... (read in full...)
Is she the one for me? But she has a boyfriend!
Q. Hello. hmmm well where do i start, ok well i've known this girl for about 10yrs off and on, when i first met her she had just hooked up with a girl i knows' older brother. We all lived in a flat together. I started noticing that she had a crush ...
A. 7 March 2012: You've already told yourself why you two aren't together. She's not willing to break off her current relationship and is much happier just having affairs with you. You need to stop biting on the bait and falling into her every time you feel ba... (read in full...)
How to become my boyfriend's best friend?
Q. My boyfriend and I are very much in love, and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. We are extremely close and get on very well. However, I recall him saying that a girl that he used to date last year became his best friend (they stopped ...
A. 6 March 2012: That's the problem with so many things in life. You just can't know, but you must trust. It's frustrating that you can't know what's going to happen sometimes but you have hope and trust and that is what must make you believe in him.
He has said... (read in full...)
He's bipolar and has anger issues, should I stay or leave?
Q. I know this is still a decision i need to make myself,but i really need help. This guy i have been dating for only 3 months is bipolar. When we started dating i let him know that i wasn't going to tolerate smoking and alcohol because i don't like it ...
A. 6 March 2012: This comes down to how you feel about him. If your feelings are still strong for him, then I'd suggest trying to get him to talk to you. Explain that you're worried about him and feel unsafe around him. Tell him you still love him, if it's the case, ... (read in full...)
How to become my boyfriend's best friend?
Q. My boyfriend and I are very much in love, and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. We are extremely close and get on very well. However, I recall him saying that a girl that he used to date last year became his best friend (they stopped ...
A. 6 March 2012: Well there's two ways you can look at it. There's the way of, oh my god I can't believe he didn't tell me that and get really annoyed about it. Or you can be thankful that he is now being totally honest with you which allows you to know what's b... (read in full...)
How to become my boyfriend's best friend?
Q. My boyfriend and I are very much in love, and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. We are extremely close and get on very well. However, I recall him saying that a girl that he used to date last year became his best friend (they stopped ...
A. 6 March 2012: You're very welcome, I'm glad things are working out for you. I wish you all the luck in the future. ... (read in full...)
In love with my friend and I know she doesn't feel the same! What can I do?
Q. Ok I am in serious trouble here. I am totally head over heels in love with my best friend, I can't stop thinking about her...she consumes my thoughts to the point where I can't think about anything else, she has said she isn't interested which I ...
A. 5 March 2012: I totally understand that you feel that way. But sometimes you just chase a lost cause just because you feel so much for her. You never know, you might find someone out there who is the perfect girl for you and makes you feel even more than you do ... (read in full...)
Not sure what to make of his feelings for his first love....
Q. my boyfriend has always told me how his first love was the best girlfriend he's had and how he would use her a signpost to compare his other girlfriends by. this bothered me alot as i felt he was always comparing what we have to what he had with ...
A. 5 March 2012: A lot of people never forget their first 'proper' love. Usually if it ended badly but you still have feelings for them, or weren't allowed to move on for whatever reason, it makes it even harder to forget and make new relationships. Has he told yo... (read in full...)
In love with my friend and I know she doesn't feel the same! What can I do?
Q. Ok I am in serious trouble here. I am totally head over heels in love with my best friend, I can't stop thinking about her...she consumes my thoughts to the point where I can't think about anything else, she has said she isn't interested which I ...
A. 5 March 2012: If she values you as a true friend then cutting her off will be the only way she'll hurt. Although the way it sounds, it could end up badly unless you control the situation sooner rather than later.
If she doesn't know already then you maybe yo... (read in full...)
How to become my boyfriend's best friend?
Q. My boyfriend and I are very much in love, and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. We are extremely close and get on very well. However, I recall him saying that a girl that he used to date last year became his best friend (they stopped ...
A. 5 March 2012: Your welcome, any-time.It definitely shows who he wants in his life then and it certainly isn't her. That happened a long time ago now and he probably didn't have as stronger feelings as he does now for you. It's understandable that you were upset ... (read in full...)
Being nice doesn't get me anywhere
Q. Sometimes i think i'm too nice and forgive people too easily. I'm quite a sensitive person and people's actions can hurt me a lot sometimes. I'm very loyal to the people i feel are loyal to me but sometimes it seems like i'm giving and not getting ...
A. 4 March 2012: I feel for you. It is a shame that nice don't always get the best deal in life. But changing into something you're obviously isn't going to help you either. But instead of stopping being nice to everyone. Maybe you can try your hardest to only ... (read in full...)
I really wish I hadn't flirted because now I don't know what this guy is up to
Q. So I have a situation at my new work. I have started to get feelings for one of my trainers in work. He has been flirting back (I think) and we had a conversation recently about me being newly single and that he thought I was cute etc then he...
A. 4 March 2012: While a guy is still in a relationship (however unhappy it may seem), do not get involved romantically/physically with him. He may well have feelings for you as what he has done seems to differ from the norm at work. But that could be just to have a ... (read in full...)
How to become my boyfriend's best friend?
Q. My boyfriend and I are very much in love, and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. We are extremely close and get on very well. However, I recall him saying that a girl that he used to date last year became his best friend (they stopped ...
A. 4 March 2012: At least he has told her at the moment how he feels about her and told her about you. It shows where his priorities are and they are definitely in the right place, you.
A troublesome ex is always going to troublesome. But there isn't a lot you ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if my friend likes me as more than just friends?
Q. We've known each other for nearly two years, I've always liked him from day one but he had a long term gf so obviously done nothing about it but they broke up 6months ago. Now we are both single we spend a lot of time together hanging out and we ...
A. 3 March 2012: From what you've said, it would seem that there is a possibility that he may like you too. The constant complimenting and the cuddling seem a little more friendly than just friends. But the only way you will know for sure is to bite the bullet ... (read in full...)
He uses the same pet names for me as he did with them
Q. Need some help to see sense about finding lots of old messages from my bf to ex-gfs/hook ups of his. Basically, he gave me his old mobile phone to use. I was loading up all my info, and loads of his old messages (from a few months before we met) ...
A. 3 March 2012: I can imagine how upsetting it must have been to find these texts, but sometimes there are reasons why things in the past stay in the past. Guys can sometimes act like comedians, if a line works then they'll continue to use it until it no longer has ... (read in full...)
How to become my boyfriend's best friend?
Q. My boyfriend and I are very much in love, and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. We are extremely close and get on very well. However, I recall him saying that a girl that he used to date last year became his best friend (they stopped ...
A. 3 March 2012: I know you want your relationship to be more jokey like their relationship was. But to me it sounds like you two are more intimate which sounds like you are more serious than those two were. Which is obviously a very good thing. I think the lo... (read in full...)
Was it alright to turn him down saying "I'm not interested in relationships"?
Q. Just a quick question, someone who I suspected liked me tried to give me flowers and chocolates today. So all I said was "I'm sorry but I'm not interested in relationships" (which for my own reasons is true). He then tried to make out like it was ...
A. 3 March 2012: If you do have to interact with him quite often then yes it would probably be better if you did just act normal around him. Although you may feel a little awkward around him seeing as you now know how he feels about you.
If the reason you gave for... (read in full...)
How to become my boyfriend's best friend?
Q. My boyfriend and I are very much in love, and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. We are extremely close and get on very well. However, I recall him saying that a girl that he used to date last year became his best friend (they stopped ...
A. 3 March 2012: Being in competition with an ex is never a healthy mentality. It would be advisable to not compare yourself to his ex as you are probably very different and are having different relationships.
If they were together for longer than you have bee... (read in full...)
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