My friends don't support my decision to take a year long hiatus from dating
Q. Dear Aunts. I just found out that my bf of 11 months got a new g.f . So i left him last week and decided that i won't date for atleast 1year. But my friends don't accept my decision, they keep reminding me that i am weird, (especially now because ...
A. 2 December 2011: The only opinion that matters here is your own, girl! If you are wanting to take a break from dating, by all means do so! You are young and should be enjoying yourself and your singular freedom! Go with the flow, take a break, and enjoy yourself. ... (read in full...)
Is this a physical or psychological problem?
Q. Hi, I am a woman in her early 20's dating an virginal Indian man in his early-mid 30's. Well a week ago we went to have sex for the first time and I was ready (moist) and I could arouse him but as he went to penetrate his penis kept getting ...
A. 2 December 2011: If he is/was "virginal," then he likely was just very nervous and possibly unsure of what to do. Many guys experience that their first times. If I were you, I wouldn't say anything yet. He needs time to become comfortable and more sexually skilled. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friend has crossed the line
Q. I am friends with my boyfriend's guy friend and his girlfriend...We double date occasionally. Well, I never really talk to the guy friend and my boyfriend never really talks to his girlfriend, except when we're all together...so this guy recently ...
A. 2 December 2011: I don't believe you were acting inappropriately. However, I do think that you should take it a step farther and outwardly tell him that you are uncomfortable with such chat and would prefer either a subject change or to end the conversation. It ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of everyone saying how much my son looks like his dad, my ex
Q. Not sure if anyone can help but I have a 17 month old little boy, I split from his dad 9 months ago after he cheated on me with my friend. My ex doesn't bother with my little boy. I have had a tough time has you can imagine and it is fair to say ...
A. 1 December 2011: I have reread your posts and stick to my opinion. These people aren't trying to hurt your feelings and you should do your best to understand that. I never said you were malicious. I said that the people making the comments about your son's ... (read in full...)
I had sex with a friend and now he won't talk to me
Q. About a week and a half ago I went to a good friend of mine's house, there was a party, and at the end of the night we ended up having sex. Now, I've known him for a few months now, and we were just good friends (we had cuddled a few times ...
A. 1 December 2011: Like you said, to the both of you, sex is just sex. So he got what he wanted from you and I suppose he sees no need to outwardly associate with you besides when he has to at work. Sounds like you were used. Try not to harp on it and leave him in the ... (read in full...)
Why would a guy throw it all away for a random one night hook up?
Q. This may be a brad question, but it just doesn't make sense to me why a guy would cheat on a good girl that hes been with for a few years. I was absolutely good to him. Im as sincere as they get. Im honestly the type of girlfriend most guys are ...
A. 1 December 2011: He didn't care or respect you on the same level as you did for him. Some people just don't match. Some people just like to stray. Some people just aren't meant to be or work. It happens. Unfortunately, you got burned, but as soon as you carry on, ... (read in full...)
Went through his phone. Not sure what to make of findings
Q. Huge problem. I went through my boyfriend's phone almost a year ago, found nothing, but he got really pissed and I promised never to again. But I did tonight. And I'm freaking out a little because his friend (a girl) texted him saying if she didn't ...
A. 1 December 2011: The pictures are suspicious and I can see being upset. However, you haven't trusted him from the get go. Why? If you can't trust someone, how can you possibly have an enjoyable or lasting relationship? Reevaluate why you lacked trust before and why ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my friend to ditch her boyfriend?
Q. My best friend always comes to me for advice on her relationship. Her boyfriend does not treat her right. He texts other girls and while they were on a "break" he slept with his ex. I hear her talk on the phone with him and she says I love you but ...
A. 1 December 2011: Sit her down in a private place with just the two of you. Explain everything that is happening to her from your perspective, but do so gently. Explain how he has no respect for her or her love and give examples. Try to do this in a nurturing and ... (read in full...)
Has anyone had any problems with taking the morning after pill (norlevo) ?
Q. Anyone have any problems from taking the morning after pill.. {NorLevo}.. Do you think its ok to take this medication in a emergency? ...
A. 1 December 2011: I've taken the morning after pill once and lived to tell the tale. You should be fine, but do an Internet search or consult a physician if you have concerns about the drug. Hurry, though. Time is of the essence when it comes to the morning after ... (read in full...)
Why is he caring and then the next day almost rude?
Q. Please help me understand what he's thinking! The guy I'm dating is super sweet, then sometimes I feel like I just don't matter. Last night he was amazing to be with and hang out, romantic, affectionate, you name it. I spent the night and he was ...
A. 1 December 2011: Was he acting affectionately before you said you were leaving? If yes, maybe he felt like you weren't into the situation and wanted to leave. Thus, he felt disappointed and acted a little cold. However, that might not be the case at all. He might ... (read in full...)
Question on genetic testing...
Q. I was wondering ,if anybody familiar with genetic testing? Does it really work? There is serious mental problems in my family, and I want to see , if there is anything shows up, as a genetic explanation. Does genetic testing shows any predisposition ...
A. 27 November 2011: The testing is slightly limited and they can screen your or your expected child for specific tests. A particular screen is for Downs, as others have said, but also Huntington's Disease, which is a horribly debilitating neurological disorder which ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of everyone saying how much my son looks like his dad, my ex
Q. Not sure if anyone can help but I have a 17 month old little boy, I split from his dad 9 months ago after he cheated on me with my friend. My ex doesn't bother with my little boy. I have had a tough time has you can imagine and it is fair to say ...
A. 27 November 2011: Your ex is always going to be a part of your life, as you have a child. Even if he isn't around, that child is the reminder. If people were trying to chat about your ex and discuss him with you, I understand getting irritated. However, if people are ... (read in full...)
I'm confused! He's cancelled 2 dates and now doesn't respond to my texts
Q. Hi everyone sorry if this long I just really need help trying to figure this situation out I met a man 9 month ago I moved into a flat near him in fact 30 seconds away any way he asked me out I said yes he had been single 6 month after splitting up ...
A. 16 November 2011: He isn't interested. Not trying to be mean, but he sounds very uninterested and a bit rude. Move on. ... (read in full...)
Sex while music is playing?
Q. Hello everyone, just after a few personal opinions here! Do you think it's a good idea to have sex for the first time while music's playing in the background or can that be a distraction from (or to) your partner? I'm thinking classical music, ...
A. 14 November 2011: I always have music cranked because I don't live alone. I usually just put on my favorite rock station on the radio, but sometimes I make playlists on my computer or iPod to suit the mood. Sometimes I put music on that makes me feel sexy and a ... (read in full...)
I'm dating someone but had lunch with a guy I used to date casually. Did I do something wrong?
Q. I've been single a while now and have just started going out with this guy. On the third date we decided to start going out together and not date anyone else. He said he's not seen anyone since he started dating me which I trust. Anyway, before...
A. 27 October 2011: Seems okay to me. You werent out on a date with the other guy. It was platonic and your past relationship with him was never serious. You were just two friends at lunch, catching up. Don't worry.... (read in full...)
I broke up with her when she demanded I propose, now she's emotionally blackmailing me!
Q. I've had a very turbulent relationship with my girlfriend of the last 2 years. We've been long distance for most of our relationship, and that's made things tougher. At the start, things were fantastic, we got along perfectly and we couldn't wait...
A. 27 October 2011: Cut ties completely. If she truly loved you, she wouldn't manipulate you. You aren't her parent, her doctor, or her warden. Forget her and move on. You DESERVE better, friend. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of two years dumped me a week before my 21st birthday
Q. I'm completely devastated right now. My boyfriend of two years just broke up with me, for the second time, and it's a week before my 21st. I feel helpless and lost and I don't know what to do. This might be sort of long. Some backstory:...
A. 27 October 2011: You didn't see the pressure you were putting on him? Please tell me you're joking. Telling a partner that you want to be married by 21 because of some schoolgirl fantasy would put plenty of pressure on a young guy. He then feels like he has a ... (read in full...)
Dating sites -- vanilla vs hookup type sites?
Q. So I've been considering going into online dating again. I've used plenty of fish and match.com in the past and all the guys I talked to were a bit passive. Sort of either way too cocky or no confidence at all. A friend of mine, a female, ...
A. 15 October 2011: Okcupid.com is a legit site with a great matching system and is totally free. I've been on plenty of dates with people I met on it and also met my current boyfriend there. I would stay away from the hookup sites, personally, if it is a serious ... (read in full...)
His sex drive is higher. I deny him probably 2 times a week, but how do I deal with him masturbating to porn?
Q. I know this question has been posted a million times, but I was hoping for an answer on my specific situation: My boyfriend (he's 26 and I'm 23) have been together for about a year and a half, and have been living together for 10 months. Some...
A. 30 September 2011: Why should your boyfriend suffer or be made to feel guilty because of your insecurity? I understand not being a fan of porn, but to deny him of masturbation as well is utter lunacy! He can't control his hormones. He can't control his sex drive. He ... (read in full...)
Is my fiancé gay?
Q. I don't want to seem naive asking this question, but I'm afraid my fiancé is gay? He's slowly admitted to me certain things about his past that makes me question this. He's never had sex with a man or been in a relationship with one and say...
A. 30 August 2011: You're clearly in love and he clearly loves you. Don't let this bother you. Everyone has fantasies. I think about being with women even though I would never be with one. In a sexual context, the idea is fun and arousing. Outside of the context, it's ... (read in full...)
Can masturbating too often be harmful?
Q. I do masturbate 4 times daily - is it harmful?...
A. 24 August 2011: It isn't harmful for your age. Your hormones are wacky right now and that is why you are doing it often. I used to do it two to four times daily when I was that age. I eventually slowed down to one to two daily, though. Nevertheless, I'm completely ... (read in full...)
How can I overcome this?
Q. told a woman whom I have had feelings for over 4 years that I liked her. She told me that she 'didn't want to ruin our friendship'. I accepted that- but inside, I was and am still very upset. She has a much better education and background than my ...
A. 22 August 2011: Chances are she just didn't have feelings for you in that manner and wanted let you down easy. You're probably reading into it a little bit, but it's possible she did lead you on and/or gave you the impression that you had a chance. So, if so, shame ... (read in full...)
Should I go to the in-laws anniversary lunch just to keep the peace? Or should I not go because of the way they treated me?
Q. My husband has cheated on me with at least 2 other women during a 5 year period. I found out about his secret double life about 2 years ago. I recently told his parents the details of what he had been doing one day when I got extremely upset and ...
A. 22 August 2011: What jerks! Screw them! Don't go!
Also, I think it might be time to leave that ungrateful husband of yours. You deserve better!... (read in full...)
14 year old student hitting on me. How do I solve this?
Q. This 14 year old girl has a obsessive crush on me. It all started when I was looking for a part time job. I’m a college student and I’m living in an apartment with my roommates. As I was good in maths I decided to teach maths at high school to t...
A. 21 August 2011: Just tell her you're too old for her and that it would be inappropriate, illegal, and unprofessional. Be stern and do this talk while no other children are around. If she won't let up, get a principal involved.... (read in full...)
I feel uncomfortable going to his flat now he has a cat!
Q. I don't want to sound mean by writing this, but i dont feel comfortable going to my boyfriends flat now, as he got a new kitten today, and it bit him, scratched him and jumped on him a lot. I get really nervous when animals bite and scratch, as it ...
A. 19 August 2011: Kittens are feisty and playful. It will likely become a fat, lazy cat in due time. The kitten won't seriously hurt you. So relax. Tell your boyfriend about how the cat makes you feel and maybe he will put the kitten up while you are around. You ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain French kissing to me?
Q. So french kissing is new to me and today, my bf and i were making out and he slipped the tongue for the first time but i didn't know what to do with it! i found myself wrapping my lip on it and I'm about 100% sure that's not what you're supposed to ...
A. 17 August 2011: Some people like a little tongue sucking, lol! This is a time for adventure and discovery. Slowly stick your tongue into his mouth and just lightly play with his. After a few moments, draw back in. Don't choke him. Go slow and have fun! Everyone ... (read in full...)
Does he want to come back?
Q. My husband cheated ...I forgave him not completely..I think he never forgave himself....but went back online and started a relationship on facebook with another woman...now he slowly trying to get back into my life...everyone hates what he did to me ...
A. 16 August 2011: He is being manipulative and controlling. He shouldn't be hackig into your email account and, if he really loved you, he would never have cheated the first time! If he truly felt bad, he wouldn't have done it a second rime and would be trying his ... (read in full...)
She ended it saying she wasn't ready; should I wait or move on?
Q. Hey :) I'm in a bit of a pickle here and not reaching any decent conclusion on the matter, wondered if you had any advice. The story is this: I'm almost 18 and have been semi-courting a girl called (for the sake of using a name) Daisy for 5 months. ...
A. 16 August 2011: You are 18. I'm not saying you have to be a Hell raiser, but have some fun. You are young and this is a time to date. Marriage is a big step and you realize you aren't ready for it. So, don't rush it. Give Daisy some space and remain friends. She ... (read in full...)
Iv been cheated on repeatedly and now I don't know how to get over all this and move on...
Q. My ex and I had a child last October, we were soon engaged after that. However, a few months ago we broke up for I was very surprised to find out he was cheating on me and once it was confronted he left me for this woman he was cheating with me on ...
A. 13 August 2011: It will take a lot of time. Just be patient. Not all guys are jerks and you will find someone. Give yourself a bit of time before you begin dating again. Once you feel ready, start dating slowly and don't assume the worst of people. Take your time ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to go down on me but my period's not quite finished. Pls Help!
Q. my boyfriend wants to go down on me but I have my period it's nearly finished? What shall I do!!! we don't get much time together so when he is here, I want it to be special, but I have had my period for about 4 days or so now and; their light...
A. 13 August 2011: Period sex is not something I would suggest. Let alone getting head while on your period. Your period could go away by then, but your stressing out will make it worse and possibly longer. If you still have your period, you will just have to tell him ... (read in full...)
I like wearing makeup but he dislikes it. How do I negotiate some sort of compromise or a truce?
Q. My problem is that I love to wear make-up but my boyfriend hates it. I've been wearing makeup for years now and I always feel more comfortable wearing it. The issue is that my boyfriend recently told me that he thinks I wear too much makeup. This h...
A. 13 August 2011: Never change your style for a man. If you enjoy the makeup you wear and have fun applying it, then keep on keeping on. The only thing i would bend on is the lipstick. Guys look at it and just think, "If I kiss her, that pink/red is going to be all ... (read in full...)
Is this curfew fair???
Q. My mum drives me crazy!!!!! I'm 19 years old and the youngest in my house and currently unemployed and i still live with my parents. But i still have a curfew. I've started dating a guy and it's embarrassing that I have to be home before 1AM. Like ...
A. 13 August 2011: Well, if your unemployed and you dont mention being in school, I could see why mom is being strict. You need to show responsibility to earn her trust. So try finding a part time job or something to how how you're an adult. Do things around the house ... (read in full...)
What body type do ladies find attractive?
Q. Everyone will have a different answer, I know, but... what type of body do you girls like in an 18 year old lad? As in skinny, slim and toned, bulky or lots of softness? I'm doing a bit of weight training to get biger and just wondered what people ...
A. 13 August 2011: I don't like super toned guys. I find lots of muscles to be unattractive. I find skinnier men very hot, but I also really like averaged size men. My current boyfriend is average with slim arms and legs. His tummy has just the slightest bit of ... (read in full...)
I told my partner that she smells awful down there and she won't let me go anywhere near her intimately, she is paranoid and her confidence ruined.
Q. I've done a terrible thing. I have been seeing a girl for around a month and been going out with her for about two weeks. We had a shaky start to the relationship but since then things have been going great. We have been enjoying a great sex l...
A. 11 August 2011: You Wish hit the nail on the head. She is embarrassed and self conscious now. Sure, maybe you could have said it better, but is there really ever a nice way to say that? Dont beat yourself to death over it. You were beig honest. She might have an ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish in expecting him to come away for weekends without his elderly mother?
Q. Hi there I could really use some advice here. I have just turned 40 with 2 grown up children. I was single up until 3 months ago when i met this nice man. To give a bit of his background, 3 years ago he split up with the mother of his child, at th...
A. 11 August 2011: I don't think you are being selfish in wanting alone time wig your boyfriend. However, his Mom is elderly and alone. He probably feels guilty to an extent, as he is the one who cares for her. It is acceptable for you wish for alone time, regardless. ... (read in full...)
What can I use other than sex toys for masturbation?
Q. What things can I use to make me orgasm during masturbation. I don't have any sex toys since im too young....
A. 8 August 2011: Fingers, end of a hairbrush. Make sure to clean it before and after and to be gentle. Don't viciously stab yourself with it. You can hurt yourself if not careful, but the hairbrush has always worked for me.... (read in full...)
Do shallow people lead better, easier and more fun lives?
Q. I have been wondering for some time about some of my girlfriends who I think are somewhat shallow. I mean, they don't reflect on anything, they just pursue what they want (sex, money, relationships) and don't much care who and what they damage in ...
A. 31 July 2011: Being an intellectual, insightful, and deep individual amongst a field of shallow puddles, all too worried abou the superficial, can really make you feel isolated and strangely lost. I would know. All through high school, I hung out with such girls. ... (read in full...)
Why can't a man take me further than my bed?
Q. Just because I have huge boobs, a small waist and so I have been told a pretty face, can't a man take me further than my bed????I want a partner not just sex.What is their problem or is it mine????...
A. 24 July 2011: The better question: Why are you letting them take you to bed? Make them take you further than your bed before you go to bed. ... (read in full...)
I think I'm a pathological liar..how do I fix this?
Q. I think i might be a patholgical liar. Its not like i make up complete stories, but i constantly manipulate stories and tell lies. Like for example, this past week i was with my cousins and my one guy cousin whose close to my age saw me with my ...
A. 24 July 2011: If it is a true compulsive psychological disorder, just stopping might be easier said than done. Counseling might be in order. However, try to think a little bit before you speak and try to control your words. If you see little to no improvement ... (read in full...)
What does a healthy relationship feel like?
Q. Hi all, I have not had very many experiences in relationships. Some time ago, I got into a bad relationship and did not realize how bad it was until it began to threaten my performance at my job, my mood, my outlook on life and my confidence. I be...
A. 24 July 2011: I would say that a healthy romantic relationship is relatively subjective. However, I do believe that there are three objective principles that should be found within a healthy romantic relationship: honesty, open communication, and a great sense of ... (read in full...)
I am sure there is an attraction, so why did he tell a friend he didn't want to date?
Q. I've been interested in a certain guy for a year now, and I have no idea how to handle my situation or figure him out. It's summer vacation now, so I have time to organise myself for when I get back. We talk frequently, and we've been flirting for ...
A. 22 July 2011: Teenage boys are fickle. Usually, if a guy is super interested, he will have made a move by now. Perhaps you should make a move or confront him. If he rejects you, he is just what I said: a flirtatious, fickle boy. ... (read in full...)
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