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age
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anonymous
writes: My husband cheated ...I forgave him not completely..I think he never forgave himself....but went back online and started a relationship on facebook with another woman...now he slowly trying to get back into my life...everyone hates what he did to me ..he went with this woman on trips never took me anywhere...we were never able to buy lavish cars but now that he got his half of the money of house..he bought his brand new bmw....she drives it...now dont know what happened but he dumped her ..he has never stopped talking to me or emailing me..hes even hacked into my email and told men who wanted to take me out to bug off thats putting it nicely......well these couple of weeks hes been up and down...I told him he has not reason to talk to me anymore its been a year...I said you dont love me...and he said he does and always willmy question....does he want to come back????and how many people on here have gotten back with their exes...only those that have seen this or are living it please respond....sorry for those who I am telling not to...
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (17 August 2011):
 This was my situation and this is what happened to me.
I dated and fell in love with a guy. We were together two and a half years and we also lived together for some of that time.
He began to get a bit flaky with me and I realised he was speaking to women on the internet. Out of the blue he told me he had met someone else and wanted me to move out of his home...I did. After a few weeks, he broke up with that woamn and he started calling me again. I loved him so I forgave him and went back. After another couple of months it happened again and I moved back to my own home and called it a day.
I was heartbroken that he did this to me and had several months of depression. After a year I recovered and another six months after that when I was getting on with my life, he contacted me again and asked to see me.
We met and he told me he had broken up with the woman he was seeing and that he had sold his house as he could no longer afford the mortgage. I helped him clean out the house and he told me he wanted me back, that he loved me and that he wanted us to begin again. I was dubious but decided to give him a chance.
After just two weeks, he suddenly changed his mind and said he had met someone else (also on the internet.
I made up my mind that enough was enough. He was never going to change. He was totally addicted to the internet, could wrap unsuspecting women around his little finger and could move on from one to another without feeling anything.
I believed he used me as a safety net to ease his ego when his 'latest' relationship ended. I am reliable, loving and caring...I cared about him and he totally used me so that he NEVER had to be alone.
After much thought I came to the conclusion that many people who cheat are very high maintenance. They need and crave attention, they love the thrill of the chase, love the adoration they get from a new lover but they lack the skills to keep things going and take it to the commitment level.
These people need a 'fallback', someone to run to who they know will always be there. Someone to inflate their ego and give them confirmation that they are the 'be all and end all'
I was the fallback person. I was the 'filler' when he needed reassurance...I was the one who really loved him and really cared for him.
What he didn't realise was that he really seriously hurt me...he crushed me and at one point I was so confused, I actually couldn't have cared less if I had lived or died. He did that to me with no thought, with not a single care and he would have done it again and again and again until there was nothing left of me.
On the last occasion that he did that to me...it didn't even touch me. I walked away with my head held high and I know I will NEVER EVER put myself through that again.
This is just my own story, yours may turn out differently but all I can say to you is
Do you really trust him?
How many times will you let him do this to you?
Is it really worth it?
Good Luck.
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (16 August 2011):
 Doesnt matter if he does or doesnt...
Why would YOU want HIM back? Run free like the wind and enjoy new possibilities!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2011): My wife had the affair.
I was truly devastated and didn't know what I had done to deserve what was happening (it looked like she was leaving me with the kids to be with the other man).
Then, something snapped, I don't know what, she doesn't know what, and she came back, realized she was destroying our family, but not why. She'd been depressed, drinking because of it, using marijuana, and hanging out with friends who were fucked up in their personal lives as well, and it just blossomed into an affair when a guy came on to her on day.
Does he love you? Who knows. The only way to know is to go to counseling for months, years even, and then you may not be sure.
So, I got my wife back, but she never forgave herself, still hasn't, years and years later.
But, she treated me well, didn't try to control me, and didn't do what you describe your husband as doing.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 August 2011):
 While I've never gotten back with an ex that treated me so disrespectfully I hope you can help those who have done so to answer you better by answering a few questions:
1. do you want him back? and if so why?
2. if you don't want him back why do you care what he wants?
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A
female
reader, Tyedyedturtle +, writes (16 August 2011):
 He is being manipulative and controlling. He shouldn't be hackig into your email account and, if he really loved you, he would never have cheated the first time! If he truly felt bad, he wouldn't have done it a second rime and would be trying his hardest to atone. Bottom line: He is playing mind games and isn't being genuine. Break it off and say goodbye for good!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2011): Yes- I am the other woman in a situation like this and I can honestly say yes he wants to come back! Before you consider taking him back though think- does he want to come back because you still have your half of the money and a roof over your head? And he's blown his on a car and now he's skint? You need to consider all of these things because hehas proved himself untrustworthy!I would also urge you to change your email password and report to the police next time he hacks your email as its against the law! The thing is is you let him back he may not have changed, it doesn't sound like he has I'm afraid.My ex married man left his wife hundreds of times for me and kept going back for differant reasons- to this day he has never changed.Just giving you my own experience, his poor wife still puts up with it because she is scared she will never be loved by anybody else.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (16 August 2011):
 So your husband cheated on you twice, is that correct? With one woman, then you forgave him - though not completely, as you said - and he subsequently went back online and found a second woman.
Now you say he has never taken you on any nice trips, etc., but has taken this other woman places and let her drive the new car he bought - even though he has now dumped her.
It's outrageous that he would hack into your email and tell men who showed interest in you to back off! How dare he?!
Surely you don't WANT him back, given all this, DO you?
I hope you will divorce him - if you haven't already - so that you can be free to marry someone eventually, if you choose to, who will appreciate you and treat you right./
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