| Latest articles: The truth about teacher student relationships
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
9 November 2009: For those who have a crush on their teacher; When I was 14 I moved into this teacher's group. He was really flattered by this and wanted to speak to me, see me all of the time. But only in terms of work in the beginning. People generally didn...
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Help!!! Should I tell him how I feel... and if so HOW should I tell him?
Q. Hey, I'm writing in hoping that you could give me advice of what to do with my teacher. Usually I'm quite rational in making decisions of what is good or what is bad to do. But more than i think, more I'm confused. That's why i'm asking you for a...
A. 11 June 2009: I meant when a married man is interested in a woman outside of his marriage;; he is usually interested in one thing only. I dont mean that all married men are looking to cheat; i mean the ones who are, want a bit on the side. Out to ruin her day lol ... (read in full...)
I feel cheated when my wife discovered anal sex from porn channel
Q. For the past couple of months, my wife and I have been having a lot of sex. I mean a lot! I'm taking five or six nights a week. I'm not complaining about it by any means. I'm happy that the spark is still there but I did wonder where she had got the ...
A. 7 June 2009: Yes. you are. It is her body and she is free to do what she likes with it. You do not 'own her' she has not been unfaithful, she is doing what feels good for her. It's good in a relationship to be open sexually with eachother and it is ... (read in full...)
Help!!! Should I tell him how I feel... and if so HOW should I tell him?
Q. Hey, I'm writing in hoping that you could give me advice of what to do with my teacher. Usually I'm quite rational in making decisions of what is good or what is bad to do. But more than i think, more I'm confused. That's why i'm asking you for a...
A. 7 June 2009: Lol. Difficult; the biggest problem i find with married men is they are always looking for their 'bit on the side'. Generally, they would like to have all of a good thing. Because he is married, and still married he therefore either loves his wife ... (read in full...)
Does my teacher have feelings for me?
Q. I've fancied this teacher at my school for 3 years, i've recently realised that I think i'm in love with him. Lately he's been making innuendo's that he may have feelings for me too. When i'm around him he constantly stares at me, and when I look a...
A. 7 June 2009: Wow, i think that comment (no offence meant) from kate is potentially one of the most naive and ridiculous ones i have ever heard. I will tell you gladly why it is considered wrong. Because unfortunately, perhaps in an ideal world interest means ... (read in full...)
Laws on teacher student relationships?
Q. hey :) I just popped on here to ask a simple and maybe somewhat controversial question but I shall discuss it whatever :) If you are 18 and want to pursue things with a teacher what EXACTLY are the laws on this? I understand people will tell me...
A. 7 June 2009: If you are 18, it is legally allowed, however professionally it is not. He could lose his job and it might prevent him from getting references and therefore potentially difficult for him to get another teaching job.... (read in full...)
I had sex with my married teacher and now I want him to be with me!
Q. okay i posted a question quite a while back saying i tried to kiss my teacher but he rejected me. However last night i was at a nightclub with my friends and because hes only like 26 himself he was there and we started talking and he was saying how ...
A. 7 June 2009: He won;t leave his wife. He has a family, he wont. I;m afraid; even if he was in love with you he wouldn't leave them nevermind if he is just having sex with you. Sounds to me like he is attracted to you, got wasted and had sex with you. It may be ... (read in full...)
Will my crush on my teacher ever go away?
Q. I've posted on here sveral times bout this teacher hu i really fancy! I've been browsin the site and hav been looking into other ppl's posts with a similar problem as me. Anywayz, alot of the the advice seys dat it will pass over in time! I've been ...
A. 7 June 2009: Oh dear. Well i'm afraid i can't tell you how long this will go on, but i can tell you that 3 months is a minimal period of time. Try 6 years. Now that's fun. ... (read in full...)
I'm dating my teacher! Am I naive in thinking there is a future?
Q. I recently starting dating a man that is twice my age. Even more of a problem is that he is my high school teacher! The whole situation is really bizarre, but despite everything we get along very well and maybe I am being a bit naive but i think ...
A. 6 June 2009: I'd need more information about circumstances. ... (read in full...)
Should I express myself to my teacher, I want to know if he likes me, as I think he does?
Q. I'm 16, and i have a crush on my teacher. But it feels like so much more than that. It started last april, when we went on a school trip. We were all in one area in the hotel, and he was sitting down. I was standing not too far from him and i just ...
A. 6 June 2009: Hmmm... you study this teacher alot, he has consumed you. I think you can easily apply here the same rules you can apply to any person. If you chase someone incessantly or come across that way then people tend to 'run'. I may be wrong, but it could ... (read in full...)
Teacher gives me longing glances...does it mean anything?
Q. Hi! Guys. I just want to say thanks to all of those who answered my previous questions. Some of your answers were harsh and even a little bitchy, but i get why you were trying to show me the real life of my situation. I havent done anything crazy or ...
A. 6 June 2009: He probably fancies you. Ignore him, he will get bored eventually, if he doesnt or begins to harass you, make it clear you aren't interested; i.e. you are taken. ... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance with the teacher?
Q. I'm in love with my teacher. He looks at me and smiles at me like he loves me, treats me different. Is there any chance?...
A. 6 June 2009: No way i can tell you without mroe information I'm afraid. If you want some good advice; give more insight.... (read in full...)
Any books I can read about student/teacher relationship?
Q. my teacher is totally hot and has all the same views as me! are there any books about a student getting together with her male teacher, so that i can live vicariously through her? i think that's the only option, because i can't just get over it. we ...
A. 6 June 2009: None of them will give you a reliable projection. If you are interested i can tell you about my experience with my teacher; but it wasn't terribly pleasant. A good book for relationships between much older and younger is Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, ... (read in full...)
I am having an affair with my teacher from school
Q. about 3 months ago i received a telephone call from a teacher at my school, telling me that i was invited to a revision session. When i got there however, it was just me and my teacher as the others couldn't make it at such short notice. We began ...
A. 6 June 2009: I'm not sure what advice you are asking for? seems more like you are broadcasting your life or more simply 'attention seeking'. ... (read in full...)
I'm seeing my teacher secretly...
Q. I'm 16 and I've left school. I'm currently on study leave and are going back for exams on certain days this week and the next few weeks. me and a male teacher (24 years old) were always reallly really close, it might sound wrong but we kinda st...
A. 6 June 2009: Does not matter if they do not take no for an answer; if they don;t take no then they are either a rapist or a molester; if a teacher 'consents' to a relationship then they are to blame. You can be as 'realistic' as you like about this. Kids are ... (read in full...)
What's the deal with the student/ teacher fantasies?
Q. This may seem a but random, but please bear with me: what's the deal with student/ teacher fantasies? i've been hearing a lot of talk lately about how it's a man's "greatest fantasy" (and how they even go as far as watching porn on the subject) ...
A. 3 June 2009: Quite frankly; loads of people fantasise about all kinds of things. Fetishism is popular. Some teachers do fantasise about their students; fantasising is ok, it's only when you act on fantasies. ... (read in full...)
I think my teacher is in love with me!
Q. i am in high school and i think my algebra teacher likes me. first i want 2 say i do not like him other than a teacher and nothing more. but him i am not so sure about. he always is staring at me and flirts with me. one time i was absent for like a ...
A. 3 June 2009: In response to female anonymous: shit, your teacher is being entirely innappopriate more than that; he is being disrespectful towards you andf treating you like some kind of sex object. What he said about you to that boy was horrid. You should not ... (read in full...)
I think my teacher is in love with me!
Q. i am in high school and i think my algebra teacher likes me. first i want 2 say i do not like him other than a teacher and nothing more. but him i am not so sure about. he always is staring at me and flirts with me. one time i was absent for like a ...
A. 3 June 2009: ew. This man is mentally challenged. He is obviously attracted to you and not in a good way, what he said to your friend is extremely disturbing and he needs to be reported. He is obsessed with you, and being obvious about it, you not rejecting him ... (read in full...)
I love my teacher and he love's me too, but I don't know what to do!
Q. Hi all,, uhmm... I've confused now,, im really love my english teacher... well,,its start when im in 10grade,,,i've falling in love with my new english teacher!!he's only 23y.o,, man,he was so handsome..,,at first...i dont mind he's ...
A. 3 June 2009: OMG! Ok... i'd be very worried about this if i were you. He has just given up everything he has... you could report him now and that would be it. But he trusts you and believes you wont report him. This is what worries me. He must have known for a ... (read in full...)
Isn't his behaviour over friendly for a teacher?
Q. Hi everyone, Okay so... this is the christmas holidays from school right? but i cant seem to stop thinking about my teacher "/ its so werid i dno wht to say or do anymore. I dont think it is all me however, as he does have his part to play in it, i...
A. 3 June 2009: Omg... jesus. Wow, this teacher... is highly.. HIGHLY innappropriate. He is attracted to you, and is behaving in a way that he can that obvious to you. He will say yes to you 99.99% of the time??? what's that supposed to mean? I don't like how this ... (read in full...)
Genuine teacher/student problem - urgent advice needed!
Q. Hey, genuinely want advice here guys! Ok, Im 16 and doing my 'A' levels at my school sixth form. There is this one teacher I get along very well with, and im not sure what's happening with us. He is married with children He is genuinely, i b...
A. 3 June 2009: Hmmm. All i can say is never trust a married man that cheats. He's lied to you already' saying he would go to an interview he didn't. Problem is this man is violating lots of laws and morals everyday; he lies constantly. He lies to his superiors, he ... (read in full...)
What do YOU think? I think my teacher is flirting with me...
Q. Okay, my band teach is starting to act in a way that makes me think he kinda likes me, he's not married, no girlfriend, no kids, you get the point. I mean i liked him but i'm kinda over him. But, my name is Taillour [Taylor] and when he sees me me ...
A. 3 June 2009: This is very weird... i dont like what you are saying. The way he is behaving is innappropriate and in the least, creepy. He shouldn't be cuddling or kissing you?????? He;s a teacher! God only knows what this man is playing at; if he does anything ... (read in full...)
Friends told my teacher I liked him, not true, I told him that, should I say more to clear the air?
Q. Hey everyboy!!! Well my problem is that my school is finishing up for the summer in four days and I was wondering what to say to my teacher. I have known this teacher for three years now and we have become sort of like friends. A whlie ago my frien...
A. 3 June 2009: Lol. Telling you don't fancy him you not reassure him or clear up any misunderstandings i'm afraid. If after telling him your friends only said it as a joke, he still thinks you fancy him probably best just to leave it be and he'll eventually give ... (read in full...)
I kissed my lesbian teacher
Q. right so my lezbian teacher asks me to stay after school so i did.she starts talking to me about responsibility and all that and then starts feeling and rubbing my leg.at the time it was makin me feel quite uncomfortable but then she leaned in for ...
A. 3 June 2009: Shit. What concerns me is that she said 'dont worry'. The reason that concerns me is because that's what you say to a 'child'. I have seen and read about countless cases of sexual predators; and one of the things they do/say is not to worry, that ... (read in full...)
Tragically in love with my former teacher
Q. Dear agony aunts, I'm tragically in love with a former teacher of mine. He's all i can ever think about. I find myself thinking about him everywhere i go, no matter what i'm doing, he's always in the back of my mind. I get so depressed because ...
A. 3 June 2009: I'd be interested in knowing what these things were that he did; the fact you think he has feelings for you also worries me. It worries me because if this teacher was displaying signs of interest or behaving innappropriately this would mean he is ... (read in full...)
Fell in love with my ex-teacher, should I tell him, do you think there is a future?
Q. Hi... I am new here and I am in need of some help. I for some unknown reason have fallen in love with my teacher from junior year of high school. Here is some more information about my situation.My Junior Year he was new to the school and i didnt ...
A. 3 June 2009: Hmm. That's difficult. The problem with this situation is it's difficult to tell whether he is only interested in friendship (seeing as this is same-sex attraction), i wouldn';t be able to tell you whether he is gay from what you have told me, i ... (read in full...)
How to get over a teacher crush?
Q. This is a commonly asked question, I know. I'm pretty much in love with a teacher. He's amazing, but I won't go into details. The only thing I want to know is how do I stop loving him? I know it's a stupid, pointless crush, but I can't sto...
A. 3 June 2009: Sometimes these things happen; it's painful and you feel in love. Unfortunately there's no quick fix for these feelings, often they linger for a while; sometimes years. The best thing you can do is not to put this teacher on a pedastol. He is a ... (read in full...)
On again, off again, what gives with this woman?
Q. Ok! But she's not goin 2 get any vacitons cause she wants 2 finish her school already! But we r just dating and she has told me since da beggin that she didn't want noting serius! Cause of her busy life! We dating like for 4 months and we stop ...
A. 3 June 2009: People can't help you when you speak in an incoherent way. If you wish people to answer your question; you should probably use some kind of grammar and spelling that is comprehensible because at the present I have no idea what it is you are asking.... (read in full...)
Help! I'm in love with my teacher! Please don't try to talk me out of telling him
Q. Hi everyone! I'm fourteen years old and in eighth grade and I am totally in love with my math/advisory teacher (At my school, advisory is a class you go to for fifteen minutes at the beginning of the day and do activities and stuff). I've had a crus...
A. 30 May 2009: Woah. Please don't say you are mature for your age this makes very little difference in this sort of situation.
I will say this; you are 14 years old - it does not matter if you are mature for your age. If you told him you fancied him; and he a... (read in full...)
Teacher--I know its way more than a crush!
Q. I don't know what to do i am in love with my teacher! I have never felt this way about anyone and i know it's more way than a crush. He is 25 and i am almost 16. We have such a close relationship that i don't even think of him as a teacher. I can ...
A. 30 May 2009: Woah, this is not good. He lets you stay with him instead of other classes? This is awful and unprofessional and you should be going to class. It's understandable you believe you're in love with him and thinking about him 24/7, he has shown interest ... (read in full...)
I have a creepy feeling that this teacher likes me more than usual, what do I do?
Q. I Have Got This Creepy feeling this Teacher likes me more than usual. whether its just that I'm Friendly and because every teacher in the school knows me I am very sociable with them, but, he always smiles at me and if he sees me in the corridors he ...
A. 30 May 2009: Yick, creepy. This sounds very VERY similar to a teacher who i have had contact with; it worries me that you are also from the UK and this is an ict teacher - as was mine. He behaved in a very similar way, it also worries me that you are 13-15 - ... (read in full...)
Does my teacher like me for more than just a student^
Q. I never really noticed this teacher until I was with my cousin at the liquor store buying drinks for a party. I was in the car since I'm 16. I saw him walk out with his friends and he just blew my mind. He has dark hair with light blue eyes and that ...
A. 30 May 2009: Yes, he is sexually aroused by you. He is using the way you dress and behave to get sexual thrills off of you. This is NOT a good thing; it means he does not respect you and has no interest in you as a person. The way this teacher is behaving is ... (read in full...)
I'm seeing my teacher secretly...
Q. I'm 16 and I've left school. I'm currently on study leave and are going back for exams on certain days this week and the next few weeks. me and a male teacher (24 years old) were always reallly really close, it might sound wrong but we kinda st...
A. 30 May 2009: If a student walks in a room, nude and says 'take me'. They are UNDER 18 and therefore not responsible if the teacher then says 'alright'. It is the teacher whose responsibility it is, not the student. Students are held by no laws or rules that stop ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and very close to one of my teachers
Q. Hello all. I've noticed that there are a lot of teacher/student relationship questions on this website. I know there are many, many of these questions but I would really appreciate an answer from anyone. I'm currently a sophomore in high school. ...
A. 21 May 2009: :S Well, i know you doubt it will lead to sex - if it continues, it will inevitably lead to sex unless you refuse it of course. He is a man, he will want sex. The age difference between you and this etacher isn't too huge so i can see a potential ... (read in full...)
Should it be allowed for teacher's to date students?
Q. I've been searching google and stuff, about the laws and reasons of teacher's not being able to date students. I was just wondering what people's views on the law was.... Because, I understand that teacher's are in high authority position and in ...
A. 21 May 2009: The law isn't there necessarily to maintain professional conduct, (although this is part of it) or to condemn relationships. Love is one thing, unfortunately if only life were that simple. The law is there to protect children. It can seem unfair ... (read in full...)
Do I make my teachers nervous
Q. Lately I've been noticing one of my teachers seems to be acting differently. In the beginning of the year, he would constantly be staring at me when teaching, (which made me feel uncomfortable at times), but now he's looking away if he catches me ...
A. 20 May 2009: Hmmm... you are probably very pretty and he is a weak man, who is a sucker for pretty girls. I suspect you like this attention and this is why you are so concerned about it, however if i am mistaken it is best to be somewhat cold, and if he doesnt ... (read in full...)
Is is all right I have a teacher's myspace?
Q. Right, my question is: Is it all right that I have a teacher's myspace? The thing is he's not my actual teacher, I only got to know him during cross country last year (he was one of the teachers that ran the club) and I thought he was fun and cool...
A. 20 May 2009: Simple. He got scared. It's not your fault, infact I think you made a valid point in what you said, however on his side of things something clicked and he realized that what he was doing wasn't any better. You probably nipped a nerve, what would ... (read in full...)
Students falling in love with teachers whats your opinion?
Q. Students look up to teachers because they're smart. They are mature. They're possibly good looking. They've had interesting lives. All the things all people look for in a character. But students can't do anything about it So their own passion...
A. 20 May 2009: No. This is not why students fall for their teachers. It is not because they are wonderful people, they are perfect or very smart or anything. It is because a student THINKS their teacher is all of these. In truth, teachers (most of them) are just ... (read in full...)
A married teacher who is middle-aged who is crushing on a student.. is it possible?
Q. Right now, I am 13 years old and for the past year or so I have noticed one of the PE teachers giving me signs that he might have...particular feelings for me. He's married, but for the past month he hasn't been wearing his wedding ring. I tried to ...
A. 20 May 2009: Well, it;s not uncommon for teachers to be attracted to their students. I can tell you one thing for definate - his not wearing his wedding ring, has nothing to do with you. If a man stopped wearing his wedding ring for a woman or girl it would be ... (read in full...)
Don't Stand So Close To Me, I am the teacher and she is the student!
Q. I really don't know how to explain this but i am attracted to a 15 year old girl who attends the school i teach at,i tried to keep it under wraps but shes realised and is playing on it. Shes not in my lessons, so for most of the year i hadn't even ...
A. 20 May 2009: Lol. Well done you, managed to get yourself into a good situation here. Totally bizarre that you are writing into an advice website... about this.
There is nothing to 'nip in the bud' as you say. The 15 year old you spoke of (I know this a long t... (read in full...)
I believe some teachers are, intentionally or not, flirty.
Q. I believe some teachers are, intentionally or not, flirty. In their mannerisms, their choice of words and the way they say those words. I completely understand that a lot of teachers are just like that in nature; friendly, funny and outgoing. And I ...
A. 20 May 2009: Not to be offensive, but 'emilyanswers' you have given some terrible advice there. I;m sorry but a person being more flirty with you etc... does not constitute as treating you more as an equal. Students should not be being treated as equals, they ... (read in full...)
I'm seeing my teacher secretly...
Q. I'm 16 and I've left school. I'm currently on study leave and are going back for exams on certain days this week and the next few weeks. me and a male teacher (24 years old) were always reallly really close, it might sound wrong but we kinda st...
A. 20 May 2009: No he cannot be prosecuted, however it against his professional conduct to see an ex-student below the age 18. He may lose his job over it. You are 16/17, and he is 24, so there isn't too much of an age gap there. I am curious though as to why you ... (read in full...)
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