How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 5 April 2014: Yep, It's a tough one. The toughest. We're doing pretty well now, better, still together . . .... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 28 June 2010: Yos, thank you. I know you are correct about the choice, and your terms make sense. I won't analyze them, but I do have a question regarding what is not contained in them, what is outside of them, and the question, at least to my mind, is a question ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 24 June 2010: So, I considered starting a new post because my views and questions have changed so much since this original one, but so not to litter up DC with too much of my queries, I'll just stick to this one and see if anyone has any additional thoughts. I ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 23 June 2010: This has nothing to do with how we choose to conduct our present sex lives. It has everything to do with me feeling like there is a gap of understanding between my wife and I; that part of her is to me, completely other, unknown, undesirable. Your ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 22 June 2010: I don't feel that I'm sacrificing my ideals, but I do feel like she has sacrificed hers. What I feel I am sacrificing is the peace of mind during sex (as well as not during it) that I used to feel with my partners when I knew that what we were doing ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 21 June 2010: Dear anon (the last one), Yes, I know it is only up to me to decide, and like you would I feel very let down and disappointed for two reasons - that she did it and then that she lied about it to protect her interest. During the last few months,... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 10 June 2010: Thank you Miamine, thank you Tisha.... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 9 June 2010: Tisha,
I am reading Yos' postings now. Thank you for your help.... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 9 June 2010: She does not have a personality disorder, and she is working through this with me. I still take the majority of the blame for this. Some of what R&B has speculated does not fit at all, but a lot of it does. Gottman's four Horsemen is also hugely ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 8 June 2010: It means to listen. To not get mad. To pay attention to. To care. To be involved with. To understand. Taking a moment to recognize that my feelings matter. Taking several moments to do that. Maybe even going out of the way to show that she doesn't ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 8 June 2010: R&B,
Thanks for the tips about psychologists. We had gone to see a graduate student about this, but she ended up dealing more with our larger patterns of misunderstanding one another in social situations (which was on my wife's mind more than min... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 8 June 2010: Just to clarify my position R&B, I don't appeal to God or Country in order to feel very relieved by your words, but I do to Family. I just wanted you to know that. :)... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 8 June 2010: Rhythm, You also said:
"You married your wife because of your strong sexual attraction to her, you discounted the less desirable aspects of her character and decided she ticked all the boxes and you married her. As long as she has been able to grow... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 8 June 2010: Miamine,
Don't feel like you have to do me any favors. It's alright to just say what you mean.
Ryhtemandblues2,
I don't know how to thank you enough; your words are especially valuable to me because you are a woman. In a lot of ways you are ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 6 June 2010: Gabrielle,
You may, if you still feel you would like to.
Miamine,
My wife was rejected by a couple of men in her life, one in particular, that she claims sort of set off this behavior, so you are again insightful. She says that she was so... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 4 June 2010: Star888
appreciated. peace. (!)... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 4 June 2010: Microphone check. Just testing to see if anyone has anything else to add. I appreciated your responses so much - If not, thank you. ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 2 June 2010: I realized after reading my last post that it would help people to understand what I mean by "trashy," which seems more and more to me what this is all about in some Fed up way.
Trashy = being with men (and women) whose sole interest in you is to h... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 2 June 2010: I'm still completely bogged down with work responsibilities, but really want to get back to this, if even in a short way. This evening, I am free to actually respond in full, and I am looking forward to it. These are going to be quick responses - ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 1 June 2010: I've got work day from hell right now, but I'm really honored that people are responding - it makes me feel quite honored to have your ears, even if just for a moment. I will respond back to each of you asap. Thank you so much, all of you.... (read in full...)
Doesn't get into a relationship, doesn't let go.
Q. I like this woman and we have been very good friends for a few years. About six months back I asked her if we could get into a relationship as I was serious about her. She told me that she wanted some time to think about it. We continue to be good ...
A. 1 June 2010: Sharing the power is hard!... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 1 June 2010: YouWish,
I don't believe in unconditional love. All love has conditions. I see through your response that you envision me as a self loving puritan. I don't. I can answer yes to all of your questions and still feel relatively fine while admittin... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 1 June 2010: Starmonster888, "Your respect and affection for her and her integrity is contributing to your dilemma because you can't understand why she abused it" Do you think I should *want* to understand it? That's some insightful sh**. Outside p... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 1 June 2010: Starmonster888,
I real appreciate the initial response *and the boiled down version a lot. When you say substance, do you mean emotional or sexual, or both? What's your take? Can you have both at the same time? Is monkey face kinky sex possible... (read in full...)
Doesn't get into a relationship, doesn't let go.
Q. I like this woman and we have been very good friends for a few years. About six months back I asked her if we could get into a relationship as I was serious about her. She told me that she wanted some time to think about it. We continue to be good ...
A. 31 May 2010: Heartless indeed! But I see the power play thing here - she wouldn't let him go when he decided to leave - why not? Does she really like you? I'd force her into that position again, and try to remind her often that the power is yours (you WILL ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 31 May 2010: Gabrielle,
Thanks so much. I know she doesn't want to repeat it; I trust that. For a smart man, that might be enough, but I am irrationally compelled to understand it, like (absorb?) it in a mental capacity, and answers like yours (and hers, of c... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 31 May 2010: I would still love to hear other responses too!... (read in full...)
Cheated..and relized how much I loved my boyfreind
Q. I've had this problem for about a year but i almost went all the way by cheating on my boyfreind .we got into this huge fight and end up leaving last nite had a man freind come get me down the street my mind was to cheat on him because i have ...
A. 31 May 2010: Yep, a blow is a cheat in my book as well. I don't believe that sex is not important in a relationship though; rather, I think it is primary. If you're unsatisfied, you'll have to change things; if you really love your husband, you'll also tell him ... (read in full...)
Don't you consider this a cruel game?
Q. My friend was at the mall with her family and her dad started a game where they had to "find chubby people." I said that this was a mean and cruel game. She said that it wasn't and it was just a game- just something to do. But still- isn't this mean ...
A. 31 May 2010: You can even do better than telling her to be nice or giving her hell: ask her why she is doing it. Let her unravel that strand and find out for herself that she's (more than likely) being shallow (if she has the brains and the insight). Just a ... (read in full...)
After I masturbate, its hard to pee!
Q. I'm a girl, after I masturbate it's hard to pee...Eventually once I do I have to go a lot. Is this normal? If not, I'm too scared to tell my parents. Please give me an answer....
A. 31 May 2010: If you ejaculate, it's normal, unless it goes on for a long while.... (read in full...)
How do you break up with a "nice guy"?
Q. I have fallen out of love with my boyfriend. he is a wonderful person, kind, considerate I just dont love him any more. My question is how do you break up with someone who has done nothing wrong? Iv only ever been in messy breakups where i have ...
A. 31 May 2010: I agree with both of the others. There is no template for breaking up with a nice guy. You have to just tell the truth, as scary as that is. You will both be better off in the end, even though it will be painful. I stayed in a relationship for a ... (read in full...)
Is being with 6 men sexually by the age of 30 a lot?
Q. okay so this is a very random curious question. I'm turning 30 and have been with 6 men sexually. Is this a lot for a woman of my age to have been with that many men? Sometimes i wonder and feel bad about my sexual experiences. ...
A. 31 May 2010: Hell no. I'm about your age, and I always think I didn't have enough sexual partners. I'm just one bloke, but I bet many people would tell you the same thing. Some people put you and I to SHAME for numbers - I wouldn't at all feel bad; feel good ... (read in full...)
Does a married man flrting mean he wants a fling?
Q. I know I'm going to get in trouble for writing this, but do married men that flirt want to have a fling with you? A married man has been flirting with me for a few months, and I wondered if he ever thought about taking it to the next level. I'm not ...
A. 31 May 2010: I'd be hurt if I was his wife! Man, if my wife were spicing up her day in this way, I'd divorce her. You're not married though, so you know - I guess do what you will. I wish I knew how to get attractive women to do this with me when I was single ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 31 May 2010: Thank you anonymous. I think I've just spent so much time feeling like a failure when it comes to this that I have sort of adopted the role. In a world where nearly everyone just resorts to some tired cliche (let sleeping dogs lie, the past is the ... (read in full...)
I'm really enjoying masturbation? is this normal?
Q. i have had great sex with my boyfriend in the past, i always reach orgasm with him, but recently i don't feel like having sex with him anymore, and im holding out on him but when i get home i masturbate. im really enjoying masturbation? is this ...
A. 31 May 2010: I guess the only think I'd worry about is if you don't want to have sex with him at all anymore. I've been with people who I don't want after a while, and people that I do, and really and truly - it is possible to want someone for a very long time, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is an alcoholic and I want him to not use alcohol to deal with his problems..
Q. well the thing is, my bf was an addict when he was a teenager. and now we have been together for 5 yrs now, now he is 25. It started 2 yrs ago,he used to drink alchohol only with friends...then it got worse, and became a habit. Now he drinks every...
A. 31 May 2010: I see - I'll be interested to see what others think, but it sounds like your husband is emotionally abusive, and that he does have some signs of being an alcoholic. The feeling guilty the next day, frequency that he drinks, and how he uses it to ... (read in full...)
I'm really enjoying masturbation? is this normal?
Q. i have had great sex with my boyfriend in the past, i always reach orgasm with him, but recently i don't feel like having sex with him anymore, and im holding out on him but when i get home i masturbate. im really enjoying masturbation? is this ...
A. 31 May 2010: Lots of times, only you know whats best for you . . . but if you can get another to also know what best . . . success!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is an alcoholic and I want him to not use alcohol to deal with his problems..
Q. well the thing is, my bf was an addict when he was a teenager. and now we have been together for 5 yrs now, now he is 25. It started 2 yrs ago,he used to drink alchohol only with friends...then it got worse, and became a habit. Now he drinks every...
A. 31 May 2010: It all depends on what you mean by abusive. If he always gets mean after he drinks, this is one thing. If he gets mean only when he is in a bad mood and drinks, this is another. What do you mean by abusive?
... (read in full...)
Doesn't get into a relationship, doesn't let go.
Q. I like this woman and we have been very good friends for a few years. About six months back I asked her if we could get into a relationship as I was serious about her. She told me that she wanted some time to think about it. We continue to be good ...
A. 30 May 2010: I fully agree with Casey. If you want her, use your full hand of cards; that is, tell her you want an answer or you're going to start pursuing others. Don't hang in there too long for her; I've made this mistake before -- infatuation, love etc - ... (read in full...)
How can I make him stop loving me?
Q. My ex and I broke up about a month ago. He's suffering so much because he loves me a lot and it seems he has a difficult time accepting it's over. I love him too, but I don't want a relationship with him anymore (we had many issues because he was ...
A. 30 May 2010: Those who say that abuse has no shades, and that you shouldn't care for this person are being a bit heartless themselves. I went through an awful breakup with a girl I had been with for several years, and I was on the other side - I was controlling, ... (read in full...)
Can oral sex be negociated, or will it drive us apart?
Q. Well, I'm not sure where to start. I am very in love with my boyfriend and we have the best laughter together. Everything is good except.. He doesn't seem to care at all whether I orgasm or not. He refuses to give oral, and we've talked about it ...
A. 30 May 2010: Short answer: it absolutely can (and in my opinion, should) be negotiated. :)... (read in full...)
Can oral sex be negociated, or will it drive us apart?
Q. Well, I'm not sure where to start. I am very in love with my boyfriend and we have the best laughter together. Everything is good except.. He doesn't seem to care at all whether I orgasm or not. He refuses to give oral, and we've talked about it ...
A. 30 May 2010: I echo the princess: Guys who think they would do anything for love, but not that, in my opinion, need to get a clue - Show him your needs are just as important as his; if he doesn't like it, leave him. I would. Sorry if that's crass, but we're ... (read in full...)
Can't get my boyfriend to cum on my own?
Q. I'll give him a blowjob.. handjob and he'll be like making noises and shaking, and he's all wet.. and you can tell it's genuine and he says he loves it + that i'm the best he's ever had but then he goes 'omg i could cum now' so then he takes hi...
A. 30 May 2010: Just talk to him; tell him you want to do it. He probably watches porn - that's the way much of it is. Just a guess. I personally prefer to be finished rather than to finish myself. He might like to hear you're interested. (?) ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 30 May 2010: Dear Truth,
I suspect that you'll be surprised to find that my wife did not cheat on me; she had this experience about 1 year before we were together. I'm a pretty insecure guy, at least in the psycho-sexual way, and I have had a tough time for... (read in full...)
My wife won't give me a blowjob!!!!
Q. I'd like to start by confirming I m 32 not 21. So this is my problem... My wife don't want to give me a blowjob anymore because she says she doesn't like it. I'm going down on her all the time because that's the only way that she can have multiple...
A. 30 May 2010: I'd still just stop going down on her until she comes around. Maybe it's sort of childish to suggest that she owes you since you treat her well in this way, but turn the gender roles around; is it the same story? Picture a girl who loves giving head ... (read in full...)
How can I forget about her past and forgive her for this?
Q. I,ve got married to a beautiful girl last year, after few month one day she started sharing about her past life, but some how she was not ready to open up, this kept on going for few days. and then the time came when she shared every thing about her ...
A. 30 May 2010: I wonder what it is in particular that you can't forgive. I don't know how to "advise" without that info.
For starters, just know you aren't alone, know that you aren't justified in treating her badly, but also know that she has a responsi... (read in full...)
Does a married man flrting mean he wants a fling?
Q. I know I'm going to get in trouble for writing this, but do married men that flirt want to have a fling with you? A married man has been flirting with me for a few months, and I wondered if he ever thought about taking it to the next level. I'm not ...
A. 30 May 2010: I'm married and sometimes flirt and am flirted with. Mostly very "innocent" kinds of flirting. But when I intend to let a girl know that I think she is attractive by a little more eye contact or smiling it does not mean I want to have a fling. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to get excited soon during sex
Q. hi!im in a relationship with a guy for almost 3 years.As soon as he touches me or kisses me i get so excited and wet and our sex goes very smooth!But he tells me that sex should be painful and suspects me a lot.i love him so much and i get hurt ...
A. 29 May 2010: They're all right. Your boyfriend has a distorted view of what sex should be. Feel confident about yourself - nothing wrong with you.... (read in full...)
Is online release horrible?
Q. So here is my situation. I have a really high sex drive. Much higher than my wife's. And sure, it's been a bit of a problem, but I've accepted that people are different and since everything else about our relationship is great, I'm deali...
A. 29 May 2010: I would certainly be hurt! I sympathize with you, certainly, but to me it does seem horrible. It's only as fake as you truly consider it to be - it seems that even though it's online that it is still, in another sense, real, right? Your guilt lead ... (read in full...)
Girlfriends sexual past is causing trouble for me...
Q. I just found this site and decided to ask about something that is causing me trouble to see what others think. I have been with my current girlfriend for two years... She is older than me, and I was a virgin when I met her which I think is one of ...
A. 29 May 2010: Yos said, "If you really like her, and think you have the makings of a strong relationship, then I recommend trying hard to overcome this. It can be done, mostly by becoming confident in yourself and what you mean to her, and by teaching yourself to ... (read in full...)
I just got married, but I feel neglected! Help!
Q. Hi all, I just got married on May 10th. I know it's supposed to be a happy, joyous occasion, however with my husband working 2 jobs, and going to school full-time, I just sit here all day in our house, with nobody to talk to. So when he gets home, I ...
A. 29 May 2010: I would be hurt too. To always have a computer between you and your husband during the little freetime you have would be very frustrating and not intimate. My wife and I play board games and cards - this is a lot more fun for both. I think you have ... (read in full...)
My wife won't give me a blowjob!!!!
Q. I'd like to start by confirming I m 32 not 21. So this is my problem... My wife don't want to give me a blowjob anymore because she says she doesn't like it. I'm going down on her all the time because that's the only way that she can have multiple...
A. 29 May 2010: While it's nice to consider all of the things you might do to make it a more agreeable experience for her, one thing (which Casey pointed out) does remain obvious here - This really isn't fair. If your wife is getting lots of head and liking it, why ... (read in full...)
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