| Latest articles: Healthy self worth/esteem
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 September 2010: It seems to me that almost all of the problems and unhappiness posted here are about unhealthy self esteem/worth and the solution is so very easy, simple and available. I did a lot of self esteem work and have found that it repairs almost e...
Bennefits of Porn
This question has 22 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 September 2010: Hi: I have read a lot of negative things at forums about the dangers and evil of PORN (OMG) and wish to offer my perspective on Porn. When I got caught up in Porn, it was not because something was missing in my current marriage. I just liked ...
How to make a good relationship
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 September 2010: Hi: I'm offering this tip because an article would take up way to much space, whereas, what I want to offer is all over the place, free and quite simple to use, in my opinion. My tip is: google relationship tips or relationship skills or g...
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My good huband hired a prositute while away at Police training.
Q. MY husband went to Police trainging for a week in another state, the 1st night there he hung out with the other single cops from his job who spoke of prostitutes, he claimed he got him thinking and by night he had a prostitute come to his hotel room ...
A. 17 September 2010: FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILDREN who are the real losers in this, get into some kind of counseling or
take your kids and GET OUT.
Kids deserve the best parental role models you can give them.... (read in full...)
Daughter is having an affair/baby with a married man...
Q. Hello. My 24 year old daughter is having an affair with a 30 year old married man. It has been going on, correspondence/physical since the end of 2008. Before he was deployed to Iraq, she got pregnant and soon will be giving birth to his son. She ...
A. 17 September 2010: re: She wants him to leave his wife, but he says he can't leave because of his two little girls. With two small children, that man isn't going anywhere! .... IMO, that's just too bad for his kids. They'd be way better off WITHOUT a rotten little j... (read in full...)
Should I stay in contact with him, even though he's married?
Q. I'm a 21 y.o who recently met this gorgeous 41 y.o guy in a band when they played live, after we briefly met, i got in touch with him through myspace and he replied saying that he really liked me though he was married. Anyway, a few weeks passed and ...
A. 17 September 2010: It always bothers me when a married person has a child but will not fulfill their marriage VOWS. I feel sorry for the child of such a treacherous CHEAT! Kids deserve respectable, honorable, faithful and mature parental Role Models - NOT ROTTEN L... (read in full...)
Wedding already paid for but I'm not attracted to her and don't think I love her!
Q. Hi im a 25 yrs old man. I find very difficult for me to say no to other people or to tell anything that will make anybody feel bad. I been almost all my life a strong christian, trying to save myself to my wife. in until i was 23 i had never been in ...
A. 17 September 2010: re: Hi im a 25 yrs old man. I find very difficult for me to say no to other people or to tell anything that will make anybody feel bad.
...This behavior is called: "People Pleasing" - a form of Codependency and is rooted in early childhood trai... (read in full...)
Paranoia is killing my relationship. What do I do?
Q. So i've been doing the long distance thing for a little while now. For over a year now things have been going great. She defiantly isnt my first, but probably the first person ive ever cared about so passionately. I've been in a lot of rocky ...
A. 16 September 2010: re: its up to me now to help myself.
... That's about it in a nutshell! So what are you going to do about your self. You mention, waiting and changing, etc. but nothing concrete or definitive. Are you going to go into counseling, therapy, a Code... (read in full...)
Partner no longer loves me.............help!!!
Q. help! I was with my partner for 5 and a half years and engaged for almost 2 years! We booked our wedding and we also just had a baby, but he recently told me that he no longer feels the same way towards me as he used to. I am really confused as we ...
A. 14 September 2010: FOR YOUR BABY'S SAKE
do whatever it takes to make sure your baby is not damaged by bad parenting!... (read in full...)
Why do I feel like my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore?
Q. Why do I feel like my boyfriend doesn't love me no more? I am 19 years old and he's 34 years old.I've been going out with my boyfriend for about a month and he is an amazing person. He would come to my house everynight after work. however, like a w...
A. 14 September 2010: re: Now he doesn't call me if I don't call him first if we talk he would say that he's gonna call me back and never calls. He won't even answer my text.
...OK, so do you know how to confront that behavior and reach a solution? Do you know what... (read in full...)
I guess what I'm saying is, has anyone else ever experienced this random intense need to hug people?
Q. Hi I'm a high school student and I have a question not regarding romantic relationships, but love of a different sort. I suppose this is rather odd, but I get really attached to my teachers. As an aspiring teacher myself I've done a lot of voluntee...
A. 14 September 2010: Since it doesn't 'actually bother' you :)
why not just ask the person: "May I hug you?" or "I'd like to exchange a hug with you" or some cool form of requesting a hug. Most folks will accept.
Just don't say "You look like you need a hug".... (read in full...)
We need to meet secretly because of my strict family upbringing!
Q. i am in love with a guy. we both love each other very much. am still a student in my undergrads while he is just fresh out of college into a job. my parents are really of the strictest sort. they consider falling in love sort of somethng really ...
A. 14 September 2010: Stand up for your self!... (read in full...)
How can I spice up the sex life?
Q. So i dont like giving head because my gag reflexs work like crazy and itsends me into a gagging fit. What are some things i can do to spice up the sex life without that. Also im not very expierenced im 20 and just started having sex 2 years ago and ...
A. 14 September 2010: Read some sex manuals & books, watch porn (it's very educational!), google: sex techniques, that's about all I can think of other than use your imagination or ask him what he wants.
good luck... (read in full...)
Why does she do these things and why do I feel this way?
Q. I was on the phone with my girlfriend, she is out of the country for one month. We spoke on skype video (the image was very poor). she shuffled the laptop around, making lots of noises, then I would not understand half of the stuff she was saying ...
A. 14 September 2010: You are in the same situation as most others -
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP WORK!
google: relationship tips and learn how.... (read in full...)
Possessiveness over my friend!
Q. hi, I am being bit posssesive about a gal. She is not my gf though, just a friend. I feel very jealous when she gets well with others... is it a psychiatric problem.. please help me out? ...
A. 14 September 2010: re: is it a psychiatric problem.
...YES!
please help me out?
... http://www.nomorejealousy.com/
good luck... (read in full...)
Help!!! I need your opinions on this one. Is this L.O.V.E.???
Q. Hey, I need ur opinion! My ex boyfriend and I are friends now... but I think he still likes me... cuz he acted weird... and today, he was upset and I tried to help him but he didn't want to tell me about it. he asked me why do i help him and then ...
A. 14 September 2010: definitely not LOVE
I'd say it is Codependency - an unhealthy condition, but curable!
... (read in full...)
I cant move on should I ask for a second chance?
Q. hello my names jeremy and i need some help i lost my best friend a couple months ago and im so lost he was more then a friend he was my bbf, my brother, my father my best in everything we lived togther and did everything togther for many many years ...
A. 14 September 2010: google: codependency
they will explain your condition and how to fix it.... (read in full...)
Heartbroken by a jealous husband
Q. I have been a good woman. I never cheated on him. He was my first love, my first (and only) sex, my first everything. I have loved him for eight years. And I did not deserve this. The culmination of these years, is one year of calm and seven ...
A. 14 September 2010: Jealousy is ALWAYS about bad self esteem and insecurity!
Other than counseling or therapy for him, not much you can do but endure or leave.
If there are kids involved you need to do whatever it takes to protect them from being DAMAGED by their pa... (read in full...)
My sister in law doesn't mind being naked with me!
Q. My sister-in-law (single and attractive) graduated college and recently took a job near where my wife and I live. My wife told her to stay with us in the spare bedroom until she found a place of her own. Initially, she wore a robe over her ni...
A. 14 September 2010: It's 'normal' for her but obviously not 'normal' for you.
Is there a problem?... (read in full...)
My heart says not to end this buy my head says I should? interracial relationship
Q. I am a white male, live and have lived in a mainly white suburb all my life, and most of my associations have been with others of my race. We are a pretty liberal family and I have always been raised that everyone is equal, but that being said our ...
A. 14 September 2010: re: I am afraid all of this is going to end really badly for both of us.
... It will 'end' the way you both MAKE it end - it's all up to both of you!
So exactly HOW do you make it 'end' well, or go on well?
Stepping over all the objections y... (read in full...)
Why do we stereotype men and women?
Q. Im sure all of us have had this happen to us. Ok, let me start off with an example: Scenario: You just got pulled over for speeding. The cop is a male. The driver is a female. The woman flirts her way out of getting a ticket. Now if it were the same ...
A. 14 September 2010: If we were all raised to accept and view each other as just another (lovable) human being or another (unique) creature just like our self, there would not be such a thing as 'stereotyping' BUT...
I(and probably you)was taught, trained, cond... (read in full...)
I wish the perfect man would walk into my life and stay with me!
Q. we have been fighting for the past few days and he dose this thing were he says things will get better and change then two or three weeks later it all gose back to the same old thing not showing interest not doing things i want in a man i really ...
A. 13 September 2010: re: i aske myself all the time what am i doing wrong
....wanna learn?
google: relationship tips
BTW, there is no such thing as the 'perfect man' but there is such a thing as adequate relationship KNOWLEDGE.... (read in full...)
This relationship lacks so much affection
Q. I have been in a relationship for seven years now. We live together, am engaged, and I have an eight year old son. However, this relationship lacks so much affection. He has never been the affectionate type, however I like affection. I don't need a ...
A. 13 September 2010: re: I have an eight year old son.
.... Well it's too bad for the son 'cos he is the one being damaged by this and he should be your #1 priority. Kids deserve the best home and parenting you can give them.
re: My son loves him dearly. And he is so... (read in full...)
I don't know where this relationship is going, if anywhere?
Q. Dear all Just to cut the story short, we dated 7 months and was going really well. Then we had a fight on our trip to.. and there with anger at the moment we said that we needed a break but ended up having passionate sex and back to normal. Then...
A. 13 September 2010: Your whole story just tell me that neither of you know how to make a relationship work.
Wanna learn how?
google: relationship tips and learn how
or go on being uninformed and miserable - it's your choice.... (read in full...)
Hurting mentally and emotionally in Ohio
Q. I am sorry to say this, but, I am so glad there are others going through this and I'm not alone. My bf of 2 years is really bad into the porn all he wants to do is look at masturbation and not touch me, it hurts so much I cant even think straight, I ...
A. 13 September 2010: re: I have had 2 children
..... IMO, your children are your #1 priority and come before anything else. Kids deserve to have the best role-models you can give them and not to be DAMAGED by bad parenting/parents.
re:I have no self-con... (read in full...)
Paranoia is killing my relationship. What do I do?
Q. So i've been doing the long distance thing for a little while now. For over a year now things have been going great. She defiantly isnt my first, but probably the first person ive ever cared about so passionately. I've been in a lot of rocky ...
A. 13 September 2010: re: Would showing her that i really do trust her save this relationship
... Yes that would help but it might take a little more than that and I'd suggest you google: relationship tips and get started learning how to make a good one.
Re: paranoia... (read in full...)
Sometimes I wish I could have just one more day with my ex
Q. I was in a relationship for almost 4 yrs, i broke up with him several times, i was happy one day and miserable the nxt, i was so comfortable i nvr visioned being with anyone else or ever leaving for good. i thought i was set for life with this ...
A. 13 September 2010: re: i think about our relationship all of the time and what could have been corrected or done better
.... And have you learned anything from those examinations?
What? Where did it go wrong? How would you fix it now?
I guess I'm going to the... (read in full...)
If a guy likes you, he'll let you know..right?
Q. I have always firmly believed that if a guy likes you he will let you know. My crush (whom I met about five years ago, we have friends in common but never hung out) and I have slept together twice both times we never bothered to exchange numbers. ...
A. 13 September 2010: re: Can someone please explain to me why men do things like this!?
... The same reason women do it.......IGNORANCE.
What you wrote there is all about bad, inadequate, faulty, poor, foolish communications and horrible relationship skills. ... (read in full...)
Although I want to get over him, I can't!
Q. The last months i haven't gone out with the man i used to date last year. As he didn't consider me as a real relationship and he didn't give me a lot of inerest, i decided to not give him any interest, we only talk very rarely at phone as he rarely ...
A. 13 September 2010: re: I really want to get over these feelings of guilty but is it possible?
... Yes, if you 'really want to'!
One possibility is to google: self worth and begin improving yours.
Another is to google: codependency and learn what that is and how t... (read in full...)
She tells me that she loves me but sure has a weird way of showing it!
Q. So I been dating my girlfriend for about a year and a half and recently moved down to Las Vegas to start a life. Ever since we have been down here I have seen a 180 out of her. She holds an attitude constantly doesn't want me near her and we've had ...
A. 13 September 2010: My advise is: google: relationship tips and get started learning how to communicate better, solve problems, deal with inadequate behavior, keep love alive and growing, stay best friends & lovers, and a lot of other things that we all need to learn ... (read in full...)
I'm a sucker for dysfunctional relationships!
Q. I had been with a guy for nearly two years and i was getting bored of him i found my self resenting him and him just clinging to me more, i like haveing my seperate time for my self and i made that clear but he become more verbally violent and ...
A. 13 September 2010: re: how can i recongize the disfuction sooner
... Google: Codependency
What you are writing about is a dependency issue in which you are willing to put up with any kind of behavior rather than be (fearfully or sadly) alone and on your own.
Codep... (read in full...)
Liking someone vs thinking that you do?
Q. This may come off as an odd question, but.. how can you tell the difference between actually liking/loving someone, verses just thinking that you like/love them? Also, there is a guy that I am sort of dating, but we aren't "official" (my c...
A. 13 September 2010: re: how can you tell the difference between actually liking/loving someone, verses just thinking that you like/love them?
.... There isn't much difference at the beginning BUT
You can arm your self with some relationship knowledge from which to... (read in full...)
I'm falling for a girl who works for me
Q. i am falling for a girl who works for me. i'm an average looking guy and she is beutiful. we used to kinda battle a little. we have awalys flirted a little and sometimes touching recently after a argument we both vowed not to fight anymore. since ...
A. 13 September 2010: re: now im wondering if i was seeing signs that wernt there?
... It's more that you are ill-informed and do not have adequate communication skills and other relationship skills to pursue a relationship.
re: she is currently single mom with two... (read in full...)
Is this some sort of a game to keep me around?
Q. Hello I am in need of some help , because male behavior confuses me. The fellow I had been dating for almost 3 years had broke up , we recently started dating again not a realtionship but going out on dates . When we go out we have a great tim...
A. 13 September 2010: Yes, it's a game - a psychological game that may take too long to explain in detail.
The real question here is: How does one make a relationship work well? Exactly how do you communicate in a relationship so everyone gets what they want and all ... (read in full...)
How do I know if shes the right one for me?
Q. Im the type of guy who isn't in contact with alot of people. Its not something i wake up and try to accomplish. I tend to focus on things which dont seem important to most people. Being like this in my nature i dont come across many women, and when ...
A. 13 September 2010: re: it just doesn't work out
.....Why? What's the problem? Have you ever examined your relationships to see what you could learn from them?
re: how do i know when she is the right girl?
.... There is no such thing as 'the right girl'! Al... (read in full...)
Is too much time together making him neglect me?
Q. We have been together for around 7 months for now and I am starting to feel that he no longer have that "wanting" feeling for me than last time. Is it because we are spending more time together (like 4 times per week) than before that is causing ...
A. 13 September 2010: You get the 'sparks' back by knowing exactly how and a little forum may not give you enough info about it.
I suggest that you google: relationship tips or relationship skills and study up on how to make a relationship work. When you understand some... (read in full...)
Is he just dragging me along till he finds someone else?
Q. k so my boyfriend broke up with me.. but i really just can't get over him. he told me he loved me every night but then he went me a message saying he's getting burnt out and that he needs to mature more before having a serious relationship and that ...
A. 13 September 2010: IMO, you need to take the focus off of him: what he wants, what he is doing, etc. and put the focus on your self. What do you want? What are you doing in the relationship? How are you getting what you want? Do you know how to ask for what you want ... (read in full...)
How can I get my girlfriend to perform oral sex?
Q. Hi. I really want my girlfriend to suck me off. She used to do it a few times when she was drunk but now she won't do it at all. I am the soul pleasure giver and go out of my way to please her every time, sometimes spending hours at a time ...
A. 12 September 2010: Maybe it's how you ask for what you want. google: relationship tips and learn how to ask for and get what you want.... (read in full...)
Met my old flame, we still have unresolved feelings for each other but are both married!
Q. It started when I was only 15 I met a guy who was two or three years older than me. We were so attracted to each other but I would never act on it. My parents would not have approved. Buy the time I got in my sophmore year of high school he had went ...
A. 12 September 2010: Shift your emotional needs to your current partner and try to let the old partner go.
If you feel 'addicted' to the old partner, seek some kind of counseling or therapy.
Your current partner deserves better.... (read in full...)
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