A
female
age
30-35,
carrie29
writes:It started when I was only 15 I met a guy who was two or three years older than me. We were so attracted to each other but I would never act on it. My parents would not have approved. Buy the time I got in my sophmore year of high school he had went off to the navy. When he came back for a visit I was dating a guy who was on of his friends. At the time I didn't know they were friends. Anyways to make a long story short we never got the chance to see where our relationship would have went to. He moved away i graduated got married and just recently found him. he is married also. we have been talking back and forth through my space im's and we still realize that we still have unresloved feelings for each other and I can't get him out of my head he is there all day and all night i just don't know what to do. We don't want to hurt any one but how do we get over feelings that we never got to experince for each other.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): Dont do anything. Just walk away and put 100% into your partners. Forget about him.
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (20 April 2008):
 It's interesting that these "unresolved feelings" weren't so powerful that it prevented either of you from moving on, dating others, and marrying others. Now, these unresolved feelings are powerful enough to come between a marriage, doesn't make much sense, huh?
The only thing that makes sense is that it gives you an excuse to flirt and build "nice feelings" with a man other than your husband under the guise of "unresolved feelings". It's a justification not based on reality.
I would give more weight to a man you worked with that you developed feelings for which would be more reality based than this, not that this isn't inappropriate.
This tells me you are not looking at reality at all.
That chance we guys weren't given, if that's how you want to look at it, was in a different time and with the people you were then, not now. You are obsessed but not with who this guy really is now, just the idea of him. This is a no-win for you and a tremendous waste of your emotional energy.
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A
male
reader, salvation  +, writes (20 April 2008):
you need to talk to him about it but above all keep the relationship as just a close friendship dont take it anyfurther than that
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