I've given her everything but she doesn't make the effort...
Q. Hi, I really need some good advice because I'm really hurting at the moment. And I’m sorry if this question is a long one! I and my girlfriend did have a really good relationship, that was until I raised the question that we don’t spend ...
A. 22 January 2006: Hey, me again...
Just wanted to add...
Dont pussy- foot with the issue, just tell her YOU are now pissed off big time with her and her lack of interest in your relationship... be a little harsh with her, I get the feeling this girl needs a firmer h... (read in full...)
I've given her everything but she doesn't make the effort...
Q. Hi, I really need some good advice because I'm really hurting at the moment. And I’m sorry if this question is a long one! I and my girlfriend did have a really good relationship, that was until I raised the question that we don’t spend ...
A. 22 January 2006: Your girlfriend is a spoiled brat.
You seem to have invested more into this relationship than she has, she seems to be rather ungrateful of the way she is treated by you.
If I were you, I would make sure of how serious she is about you, have a ... (read in full...)
What is happening with my uncle??
Q. this is weird. ever since i was little (iam 15 now) my uncle used to tell me to sit on his lap. he has never touched me badly, but every time i see him, he still asks me to. no one in my family thinks its weird because we're all close, but i think ...
A. 22 January 2006: The way you are describing the whole thing, certainly sounds to me as if your uncle is a real pervert, and how ever innocent this game seems, IT IS NOT INTENDED TO BE... BY YOUR UNCLE!
Stay away from him in future, or this could lead to him rapi... (read in full...)
My current guy is stable and caring, but I have a history with my ex. How do I choose?
Q. I was with a man for almost two years. He was the love of my life but he was also an alcoholic. His friends hated me and most of all his mother hated me. He is also very very close with his mom. Well, we were engaged and though we had our probl...
A. 22 January 2006: You have a history with your ex?
Well, it might be a history, but it is a shit history!!
And it's not going to get any better than that.
Soon, you and your new guy will also have some history together... history creeps up on you in no time at... (read in full...)
For the sake of my little girl should I try to make a go of it with this ex-drinker, computer game playing, lazy, unemployed, emotionally incompetent and verbally abusive man?
Q. Ok, I am a 22 year old single mother of a beautiful 19 month old girl. I am currently with a man who is 10 years older than me, emotionally incompetent and verbally and emotionally abusive. He used to drink alot and spend 98% of his time playing ...
A. 22 January 2006: Honey, you are NEVER & I repeat, Never!!! going to have a family life with this kind of guy... so don't even go there! aint gonna happen, run like hell ... now, before your daughter realises what is going on around her... in 20 years from now, you ... (read in full...)
For the sake of my little girl should I try to make a go of it with this ex-drinker, computer game playing, lazy, unemployed, emotionally incompetent and verbally abusive man?
Q. Ok, I am a 22 year old single mother of a beautiful 19 month old girl. I am currently with a man who is 10 years older than me, emotionally incompetent and verbally and emotionally abusive. He used to drink alot and spend 98% of his time playing ...
A. 22 January 2006: Honey, you are NEVER & I repeat, Never!!! going to have a family life with this kind of guy... so don't even go there! aint gonna happen, run like hell ... now, before your daughter realises what is going on around her... in 20 years from now, you ... (read in full...)
For the sake of my little girl should I try to make a go of it with this ex-drinker, computer game playing, lazy, unemployed, emotionally incompetent and verbally abusive man?
Q. Ok, I am a 22 year old single mother of a beautiful 19 month old girl. I am currently with a man who is 10 years older than me, emotionally incompetent and verbally and emotionally abusive. He used to drink alot and spend 98% of his time playing ...
A. 22 January 2006: Honey, you are NEVER & I repeat, Never!!! going to have a family life with this kind of guy... so don't even go there! aint gonna happen, run like hell ... now, before your daughter realises what is going on around her... in 20 years from now, you ... (read in full...)
For the sake of my little girl should I try to make a go of it with this ex-drinker, computer game playing, lazy, unemployed, emotionally incompetent and verbally abusive man?
Q. Ok, I am a 22 year old single mother of a beautiful 19 month old girl. I am currently with a man who is 10 years older than me, emotionally incompetent and verbally and emotionally abusive. He used to drink alot and spend 98% of his time playing ...
A. 22 January 2006: Honey, you are NEVER & I repeat, Never!!! going to have a family life with this kind of guy... so don't even go there! aint gonna happen, run like hell ... now, before your daughter realises what is going on around her... in 20 years from now, you ... (read in full...)
For the sake of my little girl should I try to make a go of it with this ex-drinker, computer game playing, lazy, unemployed, emotionally incompetent and verbally abusive man?
Q. Ok, I am a 22 year old single mother of a beautiful 19 month old girl. I am currently with a man who is 10 years older than me, emotionally incompetent and verbally and emotionally abusive. He used to drink alot and spend 98% of his time playing ...
A. 22 January 2006: Honey, you are NEVER & I repeat, Never!!! going to have a family life with this kind of guy... so don't even go there! aint gonna happen, run like hell ... now, before your daughter realises what is going on around her... in 20 years from now, you ... (read in full...)
Worried that my messy habits will have gotten my girlfriend pregnant!
Q. Hey, this is going to sound really dumb and you'll probably thinking that I'm worrying about nothing (I hope) but the other day me and my girlfriend were messing around on my couch. I went to adjust myself and got some precum on my finger, I wiped ...
A. 19 January 2006: The object here, is to be of some kind of assistance to those faced with problems... not to bash other Agony Aunts for the advice that THEY choose to give.
So, with that in mind, I now choose to have my say...
You are probably in the clear on ... (read in full...)
He's 46 and ogles the teen girls! How do I deal with this?
Q. My boyfriend is 46 years old. I am the same age. Whenever, we are out shopping, he really looks (I mean really staring and ogling) at teen girls about the age of 13-16 years old. I feel rather disgusted with this behaviour and I feel sorry for the ...
A. 18 January 2006: Just thank the Universe that you are not married to this pervert and hopefully you will be wise enough not to ever become his wife...If it had been MY daughter he was ogling like that, I would have him arrested and ask questions later!
He is behav... (read in full...)
My boss is married and a father but I love him! Is this just a fantasy?
Q. My boss is nice, straight, married and a father, but I love him. I didn't mean for this to happen, but when I started I picked up on a lot of subtle sexual energy directed towards me. I flirted with it and openly told him that we have an unusually ...
A. 14 January 2006: Honey, when I read this letter of yours, I had two things come to mind... namely,
You certainly have been foward with your nice straight boss, I'm surprised you are still employed. And...
You have no regard for either your partner.. or yo... (read in full...)
Does this mean there is a chance?
Q. i have posted a couple of questions on here with some great advice coming back. so thanks to everyone who has helped. just wanted to ask the females really(but the males are quite welcome) that if you say to your ex that you still love them alot and ...
A. 14 January 2006: I would say that the door has been left open, so to speak, with that in mind, when the time is right, there could be a very good chance something good and positive could come about for the two of you together.
Hope everything works out the way ... (read in full...)
If a husband has cheats more then once, will he do it again?
Q. Dear cupid,if a husband has cheated on me more then once, will he do it again?...
A. 14 January 2006: So he has cheated on yo more than once and you have been foriving him each time? I would say that he has no reason to stay faithful to you in that case, and his actions show he hasn't any remorse for what he has done.
So... yes, he probably... (read in full...)
They're lining up like on pop idol for me... Mary, Jane or my ex?
Q. i am a 16 year old guy.. i broke up with my girlfreind 4 months ago.. however, i still like her alot.. the reason for break up was studies.. she wanted to concentrate on it.. i got to this girl mary just a few days ago.. she is quite pretty and fun....
A. 7 January 2006: Hey, Sweetie, you dont need to be going steady with anybody right now, you are only 16... play the field now while you are young, be friends with all the girls who are giving you attention, and just enjoy being 16.
Trust me, there will be plen... (read in full...)
Her old boyfriend keeps texting my fiancee. It's irritating, because I plan to marry her!
Q. I live and work in London and have a relationship with a girl in Cebu with a view to marriage. I hope to come back later this year around August to get married. Problem is that her ex-boyfriend keeps on texting her and this causes me to get irri...
A. 7 January 2006: My question on this is... Does the Ex- Boyfriend know that you two are going to get married ? Has she told him?
If so, the Ex must be very thick skinned in not taking the hint.It may be a good idea to give him a call...
I think it is time for you ... (read in full...)
I'm going to list a dozen reasons I believe my partner is cheating... But is he?
Q. He says he loves me and never cheated on me. He gets upset when I ask, says I'm accusing. Yet we haven't made love for over a month. Has women friend and text messages them 15 and over times a day. Leaves late and says he has alot of work to do ...
A. 7 January 2006: Oh sweetie, whatever he is up to, you can be sure that it is something you dont want to know about, what with all the sneaking around, lack of communication and the strange women hanging around... not to mention the feeble excuses and secrecy going ... (read in full...)
Feel free to add your thoughts!
Q. I just wanted to say a belated Happy New Year to all the people who visit this website, whether it's people asking for advice or the agony aunts who give it. The things being achieved on this site are amazing - I think it is the best site on the ...
A. 7 January 2006: It is so hearwarming to know that all us Agony Aunts are being appreciated for the advice we have given to the ones who need it in a time of crisis.
May we all make this a year of giving and receiving...for in giving to others that which we have... (read in full...)
I cheat on my boyfriend, usually when drunk, leading to feelings of self disgust and loathing. Could I be a sex addict?
Q. Hi, i am 21 years old and have been with my current boyfriend for 2 and a half years. i love him to bits and i know he loves me, but he has mood swings. The problem is me. i cheat on him and i dont know why because i dont get nothing out of it excep...
A. 7 January 2006: Your problem has nothing to do with sex.
You are in fact getting a pay- off for your behavoiur... and that is one of self- destruction.
You probably have a low self- esteem problem and dont value yourself enough, maybe thinking you are not worthy o... (read in full...)
My jealousy is destroying our relationship
Q. Hello. My problem is quite stupid but here it is. I'm 21 and have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a month. We really love each other, but I get really jealous, and it's sick, but I can't help it. I lost my virginity with him, but he lost it ...
A. 18 December 2005: You need to start loving yourself.
You must learn to believe and trust in the unique and special person that you are.. with that, you will certainly gain all the self- esteem you will ever need... a lack of confidence and self- esteem is the caus... (read in full...)
I long to be with someone else but what about my girlfriend?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 18 months, she lives with me and I am her world. She cut herslef off (own choice) from all her friends and just lives for me. 3 months ago I met a lady through work who is really cool, fun and I am really attrac...
A. 13 December 2005: Let me just begin by saying...
Your girlfriend has invested more into your relationship than you have, it is plain to see... you say that you are her world and she has alienated herself from all her friends to invest all her energies in you.... (read in full...)
My wife would rather be with her computer than with me!
Q. Dear Agony Aunt.... Since I hooked my pc up to the net I have lost my wife to it. She spends her days and nights infront on the pc. We don't have a sex life anymore and she gets irate if I ask her to come to bed. I don't know what to do please h...
A. 12 December 2005: This question is not at all vague to me...
You are complaining that you have lost your wife to the net...
She is not forthcoming with any attention towards you and you feel neglected.
Aaah, alas, you have a problem that seems to be quite common... (read in full...)
Husband is visiting dating sites just for 'fun and games'...what should I do?
Q. how do i know if my husband is lying? i found out that he has been going to dating web sites and trying to find a girl. when i confronted him he said that him and his friend were just doing it for fun and games. I went to his profile and the ...
A. 11 December 2005: Damn right he did...
Fun and games my eye...Yank the plug from the wall, is what I say... cut the plug from the cord, if that did'nt work...Desperate Times calls for desperate measures... put a stop to this right now, bladdy hell girl, how woul... (read in full...)
Can I trust and forgive him..even though he has sex with another girl?
Q. Oh my God! i need advice on this so much, i hope someone can help. ive been with my boyfriend now for 3 months. about 2-3 weeks ago, he said that he wanted to be serious with me. in the begining it was just fun, neither of us wanting anything...
A. 11 December 2005: That was such a low thing for him to do to you... If it was me, I would tell him to hit the highway... It is just one thing I would never stand for.
But I detect from your posting, that you are keen to give him another chance?
Well, if you think... (read in full...)
He doesn't follow through on the plans we make-why is he like this?
Q. Hi all, thanks for taking the time to look at my question. The problem is that we make plans and my bf never keeps to them and most of the idea is his in the first place. its causing me a lot of embarassement always explaining to family and frien...
A. 9 December 2005: IF you ever do get to the marriage stage with this guy, he will probably leave you standing at the altar... he needs to grow up.... (read in full...)
Stay with my boyfriend or take a chance with a guy I met through text?
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship for a year, with a guy I have known romantically and not for four years. It is a very good relationship and makes me happy. Over the summer we seperated for 6 weeks and through text I met a guy who I go...
A. 9 December 2005: Have you stopped to think about who this text guy really is? Do you know everything about him that is necessary to know? Often, people met in these circumstances are not who they say they are... how do you know ... he might be some bald guy with a w... (read in full...)
Still a virgin because girls leave when they see my little todger!
Q. I have a small dick (3.5"). I am quite capable of attracting girls and getting them to take their clothes off. But when they see my penis they run a mile. Because of this I am a virgin at 20 yrs old. This is driving me crazy. I am at university and ...
A. 9 December 2005: You must stop attracting silly girls to you and find some REAL women for a change... take Bev's advice, I would agree with her on this one.... (read in full...)
Worried as a black-guy that my "package" isn't up to par with my brothers
Q. On the subject of a man's "Size" what do Black women think is small, average or big. We all know what is said about black men, but I just don't feel I measure up. They say that average is 5-7", but it seems like that is mostly for white men. Shoul...
A. 9 December 2005: What is with all you guys and the penis thing? You all put far too much emphasis on your "size" ... Let me tell you straight... The chicks are not concerned with your size... it is what you do with it that counts. It is not the size of the wav... (read in full...)
How do I move on from my ex-bf?
Q. I have this guy who is my ex boyfriend. im his first girlfriend and we broke up because of me because he given me 3 chances but still i failed and he broke up with me and i cried a lot and he had this new girlfriend and my 1 friend saw the picture ...
A. 9 December 2005: Sweetie, you are only fifteen... you are far too involved with boy problems right now, and I suggest that you drop the boys till you are more emotionally mature. Concentrate on your studies for now and go and have fun with your girlfriends in y... (read in full...)
We met on a dating site-but his profile is still active and logging on to it, regularily!
Q. I have been dating a guy i met on a dating site for 8 months now, and i thought everything was going really well. He has got to know my kids and is buying them xmas presents, we have been on holiday etc... So, i was showing a friend how the dating ...
A. 9 December 2005: This is one guy you obviously must not trust. You have all the proof of that.It seems he is a chancer that thinks he can have it all... with you and with other women too. I think you should ask him what is going on, and get to the bottom of thi... (read in full...)
My ex bf has assaulted me and smashed my car...what can I do?
Q. I have an ex boyfriend who has been giving my life hell for the last 4 months he has smashed my car and assaulted me....
A. 9 December 2005: Sweet Girl, it has been 4 months too long... I am wondering why on earth you have endured this unacceptable behaviour for so long? Do yourself a favour and take steps right now, to keep him far away from you... he is just bad news... enough s... (read in full...)
She is with someone else but I love her...help!
Q. I can’t cope anymore – need some help! Last year I got moved to a small office with only four people. One was around my age, a really attractive girl called Lana. I knew from the start she had a boyfriend and I myself was in a new relationship. A...
A. 8 December 2005: What can I say... but ... Lana is a conniving little vixen. She is playing with your feelings. She wants the best of both worlds, wanting her cake and eating it too. You my sweet, are far too soft for this girl, she is going to hurt you badly, ... (read in full...)
Can I cope on my own when I'm expecting two babies?
Q. Hello, I am in a right pickle. My boyfriend told me he didnt want to know when he learnt I was pregnant and has disappeared to another town: nobody knows where he has gone. I am a lone parent with thre teenagers, and had been with this man over a ...
A. 8 December 2005: If you decide to keep these babies, that decision will have an impact on your existing childrens lives. Have you tried consulting with them about their feelings on the subject?They are teenagers now, so picture how life will be on a day to day ... (read in full...)
Why have I reacted this way about my ex's engagement?
Q. Please help me! i have just found out that my ex boyfriend, whom i was with for 5 years has got engaged! i am with someone else now and i love him dearly but when i found out about my ex it really hurt! why am i feeling like this? i am in love with ...
A. 8 December 2005: Your reaction to this news is actually quite understandable. When we leave long term relationships, we often feel that the ex will never find another partner as good as you.We all would like to think that we have been the best that he will ever ... (read in full...)
How do I get away from my verbally-abusive, drug dependant ex boyfriend so I can get on with my life?
Q. Sorry, this is kind of a long one, but it is quite a story, so hopefully someone will read it and give me some advice. I am almost 30 and have been with my 26 year old boyfriend for 4 1/2 years. I moved in with him 3 years ago. After I moved in, ...
A. 8 December 2005: You are such a beautiful person in such a sad situation... My heart really bleeds for you, but it is now time to stop being gentle and understanding towards this psycho that you have had the misforune to get involved with, and start putting yourself... (read in full...)
He lies about everyday things and it's making me frustrated with him.
Q. my question is what do i do. I have a partner, we have been together for 2 years, i have a 3 month baby girl. I love him he means the world to me. The problem is that he lies to me. not as in cheating as i dont think he ever would. Its the day to ...
A. 8 December 2005: People who feel a constant need to lie to their partner in this way as you describe,are actually suffering from some type of damage done to their character,in their childhood. They usually have low self esteem and have a deep need for ... (read in full...)
He makes sexual remarks about my Mom and Sister..is this normal?.
Q. I've been having a problem with my boyfriend for a little bit now. It seems that he thinks it's ok for him to say sexual remarks about my mom, my sister, and even some girls that he don't know. I'm pretty sure that he would never cheat on me, but I ...
A. 7 December 2005: Sweetie, I'm going to keep this short and to the point... Your boyfriend has got a screw loose... He also has a filthy mouth. How on Gods green earth have you managed to endure him for so long? He seems to have excess energy .. maybe he is hype... (read in full...)
We've had flirtatious moments-do I tell her I love her even though she has a bf?
Q. Hi Need some advice really urgently. I'm in love and have very deep feelings for a girl i work with in the same department (shes 30 i'm 32). She moved into our department about 2 months ago and we've really got on very well including a few flir...
A. 7 December 2005: Well,you might just want to first find out if her current boyfriend is treating her well... she may have been open to flirting with you because she wants to keep her options open? So make sure of what is going on there first, before you go sp... (read in full...)
He slept with his ex gf and then gave me genital herpes but he doesn't know...how do I tell him?
Q. I have been dating the same guy for three months. We have been intimate for about two months now. There was a time after he and I were sleeping together that he had sex with someone else, an ex of his, once. He was very open and honest about it ...
A. 7 December 2005: Sweetness, you must be the most understanding woman I have come across in a long time, seriously.i hope this guy appreciates you for the understanding person you are. Why the blazes should you break it to him gingerly? Bladdy hell, man... This guy ... (read in full...)
There's no sex but a good connection, otherwise..should I stay with him?
Q. I really don't know what to do, I have been with this guy for about 9 months and I do love and him and we have a good connection but we have no physical side! its because I don't fancy him! I want to stay with him I really do but can this work with ...
A. 7 December 2005: You have been together for 9 months and you say you are not having a sexual relationship because you "dont fancy him?"But then you say you do love him? And.. You just want to be with him.OK... You seem to be just a bit confused here, dont get m... (read in full...)
The signs are there that he could be seeing someone else...but he says it's nothing!
Q. ive been with my fiance 4 1/2 yrs for the last 3 months he has been working away during the week.the last few weeks he hasnt been ringing me when he says and he is always stressing at me for no reason. ive checked his phoneand found messages...
A. 7 December 2005: Oh dear, it really does sound like he is seeing someone else and he hasnt got an answer for you because he is guilty.You have found the messages on his phone, it is there in black and white... you have caught him red handed and he resents having ... (read in full...)
She smiles at me, she texts me, she asks me to walk her home...do you think she likes me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm just wondering: There is this girl who goes to my school (im 16 in yr 11 by the way) and whenever she sees me she says hi and smiles a real big smile. N she always texts me asking to me to walk home with her - she offered me a ride ...
A. 6 December 2005: I would say this girl is giving you all the signs that she likes you a lot.Be nice back to her if you enjoy the attention she is giving you.... (read in full...)
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