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female
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anonymous
writes: Hello, I am in a right pickle. My boyfriend told me he didnt want to know when he learnt I was pregnant and has disappeared to another town: nobody knows where he has gone. I am a lone parent with thre teenagers, and had been with this man over a year. I work long hours and as I am self employed I am not entitled to the benefits most employed women get such as maternity leave. I thought "Oh well, I will manage with the baby". Now I have just learnt there are 2 babies! I am very stressed and am thinking I will never cope on my own, I cant decide what to do whether to keep them or have an abortion. I have absolutely no family at all apart from my children.
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female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (8 December 2005):
 If you decide to keep these babies, that decision will have an impact on your existing childrens lives. Have you tried consulting with them about their feelings on the subject?They are teenagers now, so picture how life will be on a day to day basis, with two new babies added to your household. Then ask yourself if you will be able to carry the babies for 9 months and then give them up for adoption, with no strings attatched, and be able to get on with your life... will you be able to distance yourself from the situation on an emotional level?We all have choices in life... you need to decide whether your moral values and beliefs would allow you to abort the pregnancy and would you be equipped to handle the trauma of that process. We are not all the same on an emotional level, so this really is a very personal decision. Nobody can tell you what exactly to do, but once you have weighed up all the options that are open to you, make sure that the option you choose will be the right one for you and your children.You have an inner voice, your intuition...tune into it and do what is the right thing for you.Take Care and Good Luck.
A
female
reader, Thistle +, writes (8 December 2005):
Hmm, where do I start. I dont know which part of the world you live in but surely there is help for you in some way. You can't depend on him thats for sure even though he may show up once the babies arrive. Did you bring up your teenagers by yourself too? If you decide to keep the babies then you have to look at it as if he will never be in the picture, I mean would you really want him to be now that he's taken off? My 16 year old son hasn't seen his father since he was two, the idiot pays support but chooses not to see him and is married again with two other children. As I'm sure you know its difficult doing it on your own but there really is only three choices here. Have an abortion. Have them adopted or keep them. Just make sure that whatever you decide that you can live with that.
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