Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2012): Because to him marriage does not preclude having fun on the side with other people. He has a different idea of marriage than you.
Question is why do you still stay with him. Isn't breaking up once enough, why must you break up over and over again? Why not learn from your mistakes instead of repeating the same old pattern and yet expecting a different outcome then being upset when nothing has changed.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2012): I have an ex who was like that. Could not stop going on dating sites. Well over 3 years and after we even broke up. Somehow managed to have me believing she was the best thing that ever happened to me. When I kept catching her trying to get someone online, actualy had me believing it was my fault for catching her. I am married to a wonderful woman now. Let him go and be single like he says he is. In the very near future you will look back at it as a bad memory.
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female
reader, delightful84  +, writes (18 December 2012):
He does not care about you. He cares only about himself. What is the point in being with someone who makes you unhappy?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 December 2012):
 he doesn't really love you. he only loves himself.
not only would I not marry him, I'm not sure I would remain in a relationship with him.
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A
male
reader, somewhere_between +, writes (18 December 2012):
 What is the point in any of it? He`s a liar, a cheat and he`s got no respect for you. You will never ever trust him. You would be mad to. He cheats under the false security of a dating site. A shit cowardly way of attempting to cheat, if there ever was one. Get rid and get someone who`s relationship worthy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): Run for the hills. I agree you're not trying play the role of a spy, you want to trust the person being who you are. Find someone who wants to be with you in a stable relationship.
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female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (18 December 2012):
Yes he wants to be with you "and" the dating sites. You as his wife and the dating sites as his mistress. I would wish him a merry Christmas before you leave.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): What has he got to bring to the table? Lies, cheating and dating sites. Love is supposed to be what dreams are made of. He presents a nightmare. I would give it a miss if I was in your shoes.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): "What is the point in saying you are happy with someone when you are obviously not?"
You know you are going to get laid if you have a steady piece, also if you're shacking up with him then he doesn't have to pay all living expenses.
Sorry, but that's his mindset.
If you have any self respect, then you will leave him.
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female
reader, N joY +, writes (18 December 2012):
Google narcissistic personality disorder and see if you can identify him with what it tells you about it. Whatever happens, you wont ever be happy. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who`s word you cannot trust, having to spy on, and having to monitor and question all the time? That is not what relationships are about.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): He might want to marry you because he would be getting security, all the home comforts AND you would tolerate his cheating. That would be quite an attractive package to a certain type of person.
Most women would have given him his marching orders ages ago but you keep having him back. So he can exploit your weakness for him and have his home comforts while still cheating.
He thinks he can have his cake and eat it! Thats not love it is selfishness.
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female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (18 December 2012):
 He will be an online dater for the rest of his life. If he thought that much about you he wouldnt risk losing you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): He does not really love you. He may think he does, but he doesnt. It could be he is having no success with women that he has to go on dating sites because he is desperate. If you are successful with the opposite sex then why would you need a dating site? Dont marry him. It would make you just as desperate as he is.
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male
reader, Byron Temple  +, writes (18 December 2012):
Whatever you decide to do, do not marry him. He has no respect for you, and if anything, he will go worse. He probably wants to marry you because he see`s you as an easy touch.
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female
reader, Zaaleena +, writes (18 December 2012):
As you've said - from what he's doing he's obviously not happy as he keeps chatting to girls online so why on earth are you still with him?
By continually going on these sites even after you two have broken up over it, he is showing absolutely zero respect and you deserve better.
Can you imagine staying with him for another 5 years whilst there cycles continues. Break it and find a man who'll treat you better
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): You need to move on from him, he wont change, he clearly has no respect for you, you are worth so much more than that!
It is highly likely he has issues with his ego, needing to feel wanted by lots of different girls, but having the security of you at home, kick him to tge kerb! X
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