Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): I recently just posted this same question myself, and OMG are the people on this site so incredibly wise! Please don't go back! I feel SO RELIEVED since giving him the boot. Always know that this has nothing to do with anything you did or didn't do - it's all about his bull-^^^^!!!!
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female
reader, Jeanette82  +, writes (24 November 2012):
Jeanette82 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you everyone. Yes, I think using dating sites comes across as very desperate, but each to their own, depending on why they use them. To use them to cheat shows a real determination. My mind is made up and there will be no contact. I have heard it all, every lie and excuse in the book, and felt like I was losing my mind at times. He can have his dating sites. I will not be looking again to see if he`s still on them,(I already know he probably will be).
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2012): I think using dating sites is very desperate. If I ever had to use them, then I think it`s time to give up.
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female
reader, bama_mobile  +, writes (24 November 2012):
 He has got that one right, he is not with you now and he`s at liberty to join any dating site that he wants. "But" seeing as it was dating sites that was the cause of your break up, you would think he knew that being active on them would not win you back. I would keep a hundred miles away from that man because nothing about him will ever change.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2012): You have got to cut all ties. No contact. Do not answer any texts. He will be on dating sites for the rest of his life. You know him too well by now.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2012): It just goes to show doesnt it. Cut this guy off completely. He is a nutter. I do not believe there is such a thing as being addicted to dating sites.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 November 2012):
 Well, he showed his true colors fast didn't he?
Of course he didn't like being called out on his behavior, but on the other hand now you know 100% that he really doesn't give a flying fart about your feelings.
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female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (23 November 2012):
Jeanette82 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. He has been in touch again. I told him what I had seen and he told me it is none of my business as I dumped him. He then told me I am invading his privacy. I reminded him that he had told me his dating suite days are over and I only looked to see if he was telling the truth. He then said if I dont take him back, he will get someone else off the dating site. He is right, it is none of my business and he`s welcome to meet who he wants. I will follow all the advice given.
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female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (23 November 2012):
He is behaving like someone who has a fear of being alone. Dont believe a word he tells you. I would block all contact with him from now on. If you dont he will think he`s still in with a chance.
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female
reader, delightful84 +, writes (23 November 2012):
I think he just cant get anyone else and that`s all there is to it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2012): some people can cry tears on demand. i think his real problem is that he`s having difficulties finding your replacement. to me, anyone who needs to use dating sites is not exactly in demand and is desperately scraping the barrel. get someone better. he sounds like a screwball to me.
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male
reader, somewhere_between +, writes (23 November 2012):
 He sounds like he`s got a screw loose. Drop him like hot coal.
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male
reader, Byron Temple  +, writes (23 November 2012):
I think you can rest in the fact that dating sites will be in his life forever. You need to forget he exists. Do not take any of his calls or listen to him again.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 November 2012):
 I can cry real tears at the drop of a hat. Does not mean jack squat Jeanette. He doesn’t want to put things right. He WANTS what he WANTS… which is YOU till someone better (in his mind) comes along.
Once he meets “the one” he will drop you like a hot potato. I’m sure he likes you and cares about you but he likes and cares about himself more.
Even if he means it, you don’t trust him and never will.
Best to say good bye and go No Contact and move on with your life.
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (23 November 2012):
 What you have to do to get over it is not have any contact with him at all.
He won't leave you alone because he wants to have his cake and eat it too, and he knows that in the past you've listened to him when he's asked for a second chance (thankfully you didn't believe the lies).
I don't know why he's on dating sites. Maybe addicted to the attention he gets?
It's easy to say and harder to do, but move on. Don't waste any more time on him. .
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2012): "What the hell is it with him and these dating sites?"
He doesn't want just one woman in his life OP, he wants to keep his options open in case someone better comes along.
"Why will he not leave me alone and accept he cannot have me and the date sites together?"
Because he doesn't have to, if you don't want him to keep this up then you stop him. But you won't you like the attention and hope he won't need any other woman but you. He won't leave you alone because you don't want him to leave you alone, if you did, you'd block him.
"what do I do to get over this?"
Cut all contact, let the whiny little cry baby, find someone on the sites he thinks are more important than you.
"If he wants to put things right then why is he still on a dating site?"
Because he doesn't want to put it right OP, he just wants you back, he simply doesn't like not having you the dating sites aren't enough, but when he does have you you're not enough so he wants his sites too.
Get rid of him OP. Let him go crying to his mammy, real tears mean nothing when he's not willing to give up one meaningless thing to get you back. Says how much you mean to him doesn't it? A website is more important.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2012):
Honeypie is so so so right ...
Put him in the bin, that where rubbish belongs, he will only give you heartache and drama until why he wants turns up..
Take care sweetie..
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 November 2012):
I'm sorry. To be honest.. He thinks he can do better. That is why he is still looking. But that he would like to keep you around til that day the "greener grass" is found.
Doesn't mean you aren't good enough, it just means he thinks he can do better and thus keeps looking.
Frankly, you should cut the contact with him 100%. Work on getting over him, because as you can see this behavior will NOT stop, because he doesn't think he is doing anything wrong.
Facts are.. YOU are the one who can do a LOT better.
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