Am I too needy and insecure of my high-flying boyfriend?
Q. Dear cupid. I hope someone out there will be able to give me some advice on my situation. I have been in the best relationship of my entire life with the man of my dreams, and we want to marry, he is currently in NY working on a project for...
A. 10 January 2006: No love, he dosnt MAKE you feel inferior,inadequate,illiterate or downright stupid. He is a well read,knowledgeable man who saw in you the potential to be a nice piece of arm candy but at the ame time, he hopes that with time, you will be his level ... (read in full...)
He has become cold...how can I get him to talk to me??
Q. im 31 year old woman who has been going out with a man for the past 9 months. he seems to hav developed cold feet since 17 december 2005. what do i do to win him back i love him deraly. he is not talking to me i feel like screaming....
A. 10 January 2006: My darling, I sense you raised the forbidden subject - committment and that's given him cold feet.
If he is not making contact since dec 17 then Im afraid you have no choice but to move on as this man will not react to your efforts to win him back... (read in full...)
Not sure what to think after my girl send me a pic of her boob! Was it a honey-trap?
Q. Hi there, Please help... I received a text last night while I was having a curry and a few beers with a mate of mine from a number that was unknown. It read, "Hi, do you fancy a $hag?" I ignored this as I am not into cheating and I lov...
A. 10 January 2006: Oh God!you sound like an uptight boring pompous man. Have you read your question? Where's your sense of fun and yes you are being very unreasomable about the whole thing. It was a J-o-k-e. Most normal, red blooded males would have entered into the ... (read in full...)
He doesn't care about her, I do so what can I do??
Q. i really like this girl. but my friend is dateing her, but her only wants to "score" with her, and i want more, like to grow old and stuff. i stick up for her and like her more than my friend does that but she dont no. what should i do?...
A. 10 January 2006: Giveher your friendship and make her feel comfortable with you. She will trust you enough to confide in you and when he dumps her (and he will), you will be around to pick up the pieces and glue her back together again. She will lean on you and that ... (read in full...)
I like him but he's dating my friend..what do I do?
Q. i really like this guy but he is currently dateing my friend and i am the reason they are dateing. what do i do?...
A. 10 January 2006: Your friend has good taste and always seems to find nice guys but moving on him will not only make you look an idiot andalso lose youa very good friend.
Darling, if he fancied youinstead of her he would have made his moves by now so dream on and l... (read in full...)
Why can't I forget him when he doesn't seem to like me?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 9 months.hes 30, im 24. but after all he dumped me! i still love him and wanna be with me. but he doesnt like me that much! we had lots of problems in our friendship because he has never got close to me like other ...
A. 10 January 2006: Your attraction to him started off when he treated you badly at the beginningof the relationship and the nastier he was, the stronger you felt for him. he became your 'drug' and your one aim was to change him into your dream man.
I sense the sex ... (read in full...)
I think my 12 year old was masturbating. I feel I should be aware of this..so how do I ask her?
Q. I have a daughter who is over 12 yrs now and knows most everything about the human body, its functions, about sexual intercourse and has also started her periods. A few times, on my way to bed, when I go in to straighten her blanket (she rolls ...
A. 9 January 2006: Your little girl is doing what is natural,normal and should not be treated as a 'sin'. If you see her touching herself, just ask gently "Hmm! feels good doesnt it? I do it myself" That will open up discussion without fear of being told she is ... (read in full...)
Can't understand why my friend and his wife bother to stay together...
Q. Why would a guy stay in a bad marriage? My friend is married to a woman who has two grown kids from previous marriage. Both her kids are herion addicts and have stolen money from him. He and his wife have nothing in common and she is ten years ...
A. 9 January 2006: he stays because they have a strong bond and he is afraid to dip his toe in the unknown waters of life. She may be the wife from hell but she looks after his needs and he takes comfort from the knowledge that she puts up with all his foibles.
... (read in full...)
His ex keeps staring at me when we're at the gym. It makes me uncomfortable!
Q. I work out at the rec centre and the gym is right above the pool. There are huge windows so the people in the pool area are able to see the people working out in the gym, which is upstairs. The problem is that my ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend sw...
A. 9 January 2006: Relax kiddo! he is not staring at you intentionally but when a person is going through the training routine, they empty their minds and look into space. if you happen to be in the line of vision then you feel like you are being stared at.
Chang... (read in full...)
My fiance asked a lady co-worker of mine to sleep with us on New Year's Eve! Are girls her "thing"?
Q. i am a 25 yr old male New Years Eve my fiance and i went out and ran into a co worker of mine who is also female .we all got drunk and my fiance started touching me in a sexual way in the car in front of her on the way home.then my fiance asked her ...
A. 9 January 2006: I sense she has read too many copies of Cosmo and wanted to try out being bi-sexual. She was drunk which gave her Dutch courage but if you suggested it when she was sober,believe me she would flap her arms and run for the hills.
In reality ... (read in full...)
I'm a divorced man who loves my son. But my new girl wants me to see less of him!
Q. I am a 39 year old man and my marriage broke down in june 2004 in september 2004 i meet a girl that i really liked, she gave me the impression that she had no problem with me being divoiced and supported me thourgh the whole thing. she even played ...
A. 9 January 2006: Your son should be the most important person in your life. Girlfriends will come and go until you find the right one.
tell your new lady that she has to take you warts and all and fit in with your visiting schedule. if she doesnt like it then in a... (read in full...)
Hurt in the past, now finding it hard to trust my new girl... Any tips?
Q. dear cupid i wondered if you could help me. i have been hurt in the past by an old girlfriend and now that im starting to see someone else i'm finding it realy hard to trust my new partner. she always says that she loves me and that she wont...
A. 9 January 2006: Let go of all your past issues as it will always cloud any rlationships you have. remember you can only get hurt if you expect things from the other person they are not ready to give. You should needy and want approval/love and fidelity without ... (read in full...)
Girls won't take me seriously as "boyfriend material". What am I doing wrong?
Q. I am a 16 year old guy and I'm having trouble with girls just liking me as a friend. It seems like each time I really like a girl and I tell her, she says she just couldn't go out or do anything with me because I seem more like a friend, or a ...
A. 9 January 2006: Butch up will you and take up a sport that makes you a hero to the girls. You're such a nice sweet guy that you act like everyones brother.
Once you take up a sport that givs you some cuts/bruises and muscles, you will become a girl magnet.... (read in full...)
Does my (now) gay ex girlfriend still have feelings for me?
Q. I've posted here before about my situation, but things keep developing. About six weeks ago, I got told by my new girlfriend suddenly that she was gay. At this point, we weren't that close so we just agreed to be friends. We'd email each other...
A. 9 January 2006: Your newly emerged out of the closet gay girlfriend only has feelingsof affection for you as a good friend. Any sexual attraction flew out of the window the moment she discovered muff diving.
Start searching out the hetro girls who will enjoy yo... (read in full...)
Sex a couple of times a year, no affection, and he blows up at the slightest thing I do. Should I dump him?
Q. I have been with my 39 yr old bf for 3 yrs. He is so unaffectionate and I am complete opposite. I care about him but when I try to talk to him about this he acts concerned, but his actions always remain the same. Sex 4 times a year, no hand hol...
A. 9 January 2006: Any relationship with a cold/brutal/short tempered man is only for the person with low self esteem. You stayed with him because you think you love him and he might change.Thats your biggest hope but you can do better for yourself.
Do yourself... (read in full...)
Six months ago, I could see being with her forever, but now everything feels forced...
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly 6 months now. At first everything was so amazing, and spontaneous. We have been through a few rough times together but lately she seems almost depressed. Me and her are both seventeen, and she is g...
A. 9 January 2006: Im afraid your 6 months honeymoon period id coming to an end. All relationships start with high intensity/passion and excitement. After 5 months you settle into cosiness and then the real problems start. Communication is vital and if it is forced ... (read in full...)
My divorce comes through in a month and I'm starting to feel deeply for my friend, but my husband wants to work things out!
Q. After 8 years of marriage and a 3 year old daughter, my husband out of the "hell he was living in". After 5 straight days in bed crying, he came into the bedroom and told me to get up and get on with my life. I did just that. That same evening ...
A. 9 January 2006: You do have feelings for your husband otherwise you wouldnt be agonising about whether to give the man another chance.
The new man is rebound feelings and after 8 weeks of getting together, it will end and you will move onto someone else.
F... (read in full...)
Am I doomed to fall for my ex's same old garbage again?
Q. I just recently broke up with my boyfriend who I thought was my "soul mate" (if that indeed exists). He has called me and text messaged me relentlessly for the last two days. What he says and what I think are two different things. I have tried to ...
A. 9 January 2006: Sweetiepie! that reason you broke up hasnt changed so if you get back with your ex, it will surface again and leave you just as used/abused and devastated.
Let go and move onto someone new and exciting because once a relationship is over, it seldo... (read in full...)
My married lover loves me too. What do we do about it?
Q. I am a married woman in love with a married man. Our feelings are mutual. His wife is very controlling; she wears the pants! I am in love for the first time with this guy, it's driving me crazy. What should I do?...
A. 9 January 2006: Im afraid you are on a hiding to nothing even though he declares undying love for you. Whatever he tells you about his wife is exaggerated to a point. They have a strong bond and he might give you all the cliched excuses such as:
"We are like brot... (read in full...)
I want to make sure that my foreskin will retract without discomfort. What can I do?
Q. Hi, My foreskin doesn't retreact easily and I'm pulling it back til' it hurts and washing it with warm water every day. How long will it take to be loosened the length needed? If I stop this for say, a week, will the skin tighten again? Thank you...
A. 9 January 2006: It might be a good idea to talk to your doctor as they have gels and creams that can ease the discomfort and also stop you forcing the skin to loosen up.
he /she willalso have some pointers on how to make things easier for you.... (read in full...)
That date was a total disaster. He was rude, cold and self-centred... or am I overreacting?
Q. I went on a blind date the other day and it turned out to be a disaster. The lady that set me up is a co-worker and she told me that he was a great catch, a really nice guy with his own business. She said that he asked her at a New Years party if ...
A. 9 January 2006: he was press ganged into going on a blind date with you by your friend and rather than act the gentleman, he dealt with it by being cold and boorish.
Tell your friend that you realise he must be a nice guy but your first impressions of him made... (read in full...)
Can you love someone when you aren't sure you like them?
Q. is it possible to love some1 more than anything when you aren't even sure if u like them in the first place?...
A. 9 January 2006: You can be attracted to someone who makes you feel obsessed by them but not love Im afraid that that is an emotion that can only grow by being with them 24/7 for many months.
The fact that you dont like them is a challenge and now you feel you... (read in full...)
Is he gay? Anyone know??
Q. Hi I have a really silly question, I even doubt that It will be posted, but I'd like to know, is Darren Hayes from Savage Garden gay? Thanks...
A. 9 January 2006: I sense he isnt gay although he does tend to act and talk in a camp way. its possible he is just a little effeminate in his mannerisms but not an actual practising gay man.
I feel he would be horrified if he thought you considered him gay and prob... (read in full...)
I know my husband is still communicating with an ex lover, but what do I do about it?
Q. Dear Cupid, What do you do when you know that your husband is still communicating with his ex-lover, lying that he is not? However, I have proof that he talks to her everyday, but does not see her...different states....
A. 8 January 2006: Hmm! if he is lying about it then its time you set out the ground rules. He dissed you once by having the affair and he is still disrespecting you by keeping in contact and telling porkie pies about it.
Some tough action will scare him into beh... (read in full...)
Are my mate and my girlfriend getting it on together?
Q. I am unsure if my best mate and my girlfriend are sleeping together. The suspicion comes from several things. The way the talk about each other is too personal. Whenevr they are in both with me they get on really well and have a really good laugh ...
A. 8 January 2006: i sense you have become so nervy and suspicious that you have lost sight of the fun person you once used to be. She and best mate have found some rapport and it feels good to flirt because you have certainly have lost the art of being the fun guy ... (read in full...)
How do I get pregnant when my man has genital herpes? Turkey baster anyone?
Q. I need some advice from anyone with any knowledge of this subject if possible. Me and my boyfriend have decided to try for a baby. However, he has genital herpes so we can rarely have unprotected sex. I don't want to put myself in any danger of ca...
A. 8 January 2006: A doctor cant help you but a fertility clinic can so check out your nearest one and make an appointment to see them. Regular doses of Acyclovir tablets, Zovirax should be taken at the first tingle. This can help your boyfriend to control the ... (read in full...)
Any advice for a ginger guy?
Q. Hi i am 18 and i have never really had a girlfriend and i have been unfortunate enough to be born with the worst astetically pleasing hair colour. ( thats my excuse). i dont think i am that unattractive (apart from the above) but it seem that i ...
A. 8 January 2006: Loud whooping noises, baring your bottom and jumping up and down seems to work for chimpanzees. Maybe you should try that to get the girls to notice you.
I would suggest taking up an interest or hobby/skating or bowling all hold teams of girls an... (read in full...)
Unsure of how to bring it up... Engagement and moving in.
Q. i want to take my relationship to the next level ie; moving in and getting engaged, i don't know how to bring it up...
A. 8 January 2006: depends on how long you have been seeing this guy. if it has been for over 1 year then you cook him his favourite meal and then raise the subject of the future. Ask him how he sees the future; do you feature in it at all and if you do, any idea when ... (read in full...)
Met a guy on the dating site but after he seen my photo..he said it just wouldn't work out. Help me understand.
Q. I've been chatting to a guy I met on an internet dating web site we decided to send photo's. when I did this he responded to me by sending this message:- 'You look really nice, but unfortunately you also look remarkably similar to someone I know v...
A. 8 January 2006: His description of 'wants-in-a-woman' sub-consciouly matched those of the ex he hasnt gotten over. You matched that description and he suddenly realised that you would be exactly as the one he probably got dumped by.
Dont take the rejectio... (read in full...)
My gf is getting cold feet about moving in with me...I'm not pushing her into it. Is there anything else I can do?
Q. hi!, I have been with my patner for 5 months, we have been talking about me moving in for about 3 months,I have always known she has a problem with commitment (never commited before). We get on really well and love eachother loads, but suddenly she ...
A. 8 January 2006: Five months is not long enough to share your personal space with each other and she is right to get cold feet. When you reach one year of being a couple then you can discuss moving in together but not right now.
Ignore the subject and let her make... (read in full...)
Get back together with my indecisive ex?
Q. My boyfriend of 9 months and I recently broke up because he was indecisive about school(university) and went back home to another state. When we broke it off, it was a clean break-up, basically we both agreed it was the best thing to do. But now ...
A. 8 January 2006: What was the reason for that split because that reason hasnt changed even though you are apart.
Move on and let go of the past because by hanging onto the hope that you could or might get back one day is stopping you from living in the present ... (read in full...)
What should I do... Ex-wife, 26, is hooking up with a guy, 38, and making a BIG mistake!
Q. me and my wife have separated twice now and because of my verbal anger problem as well as the first time we separated i got involved with a women witch was the icing on the cake for us spliting that time.at the time i was 28 the other women was ...
A. 8 January 2006: She is your EX and firmly in the past. If you loved her so much and you were meant to be, you would still be a couple.
Its her life and although you say its hard waiting for the if and when it doesnt work out, be in no doubt, you are not the one ... (read in full...)
I have spent my entire life ensuring my family is happy. Despite the fact that they'll hate me for it, should I now make *me* happy and leave my husband?
Q. how can i leave my husband when my family will turn there backs on me? please help me i have been married for 20 years and have 2 grown up kids. 10 years ago i became pregnant and my husband felt i could not cope. so he persuaded my mum and dad help...
A. 8 January 2006: I sense you married quite young and missed out on many of the fun things your friends did. Its always best to have a serious talk to your husband about the future/ask him to share an interest in something with you. If you honestly feel that nothing ... (read in full...)
So shy that my family bought me an online dating subscription. Then Mom was shocked when I met some guys I like!
Q. I don't know if anyone can help me here but it's worth a shot. I am 18 years old and never had a boyfriend. I guess its because I am not the partier type and I am so shy. I get nervous when a guy even sits next to me. My family constantly teases m...
A. 8 January 2006: You're still a baby and need to be enjoying life not being forced into situations by your mother.
Take up bowling/skating/kick boxing/dancing.... anything that helps you to mix with people of your own age then you will meet a boy who will wan... (read in full...)
People say my ex-boyfriend's gay. He says he's not. What do you think?
Q. My ex boyfriend says he is not gay, but he has lived with a gay male for over 20 yrs. He says it started out intimately, oral only just a couple times when he was like 16, but then it never happened again. He is now 44 and still lives with him, but ...
A. 8 January 2006: At his age, I sense he is a repressed gay who is afraid to come out of the closet because he is of that era that is afraid of public opinion.
Keep him as a good friend and'walker' because he will be no good as a sexual partner but terrific... (read in full...)
My plot for revenge has backfired after I fell for the pawn in my game...
Q. i am so confussed. what started out as a game and as part as my revenge on my husband has backfired. my husband was abusive during our first 12 years of marriage, then he changed and the abuse almost stopped completely. but one week after our 17th ...
A. 8 January 2006: OK its time to start being a grown up now. Wht you did was childish and silly and you have now got yourself in very deep.
Go cold turkey, put some distance between you but maintain a friendly balance. You cant love someone unless you have been spe... (read in full...)
I deleted his number but am having second thoughts...
Q. Me and my ex have been apart for over a month now but i'm still not over him. The night after he dumped me I rang him to tell him i was there for him, (meaning if he had changed his mind about ending the relationship he could get me back), anyway ...
A. 8 January 2006: I suggest you call around any of his mates who will have his number then you can fulfill your need to call him and keep things ticking over. Failing that, if you know his address then look up his land line number in the telephone directory. ... (read in full...)
My friend stole my girl and harassed me though email, but I'm the one being made to feel guilty!
Q. I need advice. I am really hurting from a breakup with someone who I considered a very close friend. It all started last summer when the friend failed to tell me she was seeing someone who I was friendly with. We had all met one weekend and she ...
A. 8 January 2006: Dear oh! dear! You have well and truly been shafted by a sad,sick, vengeful person.
Your friendship cannot b repaired because you will always have it in the back of your mind all the things that have happened.
Cut your losses and move on from... (read in full...)
Girls, your help is needed. Is the girl in my life playing hard to get?
Q. Women/Girls....PLEASE HELP!!! Game Playing!!! A girl I absolultely LOVE plays the hot/cold game with me (at least in my mind). I gave here this xmas gift (nothing serious,,just simple gift....and she absolutely loved it and gave me so, so much ...
A. 8 January 2006: Move on darlin'
This little girl enjoys dangling you on a string and all the attention you are giving her but to be brutal, she aint into you so nothing will happen between you Im afraid.
Expend your energies on meeting someone more tuned into ... (read in full...)
What balance should I strike with this "friends just for now" girl?
Q. I have met this girl in a nightclub over three months ago. I'm 39 and she is 30. She has recently come out of a relationship. She has clearly stated to me that she wants the friendship first then will consider a relationship. We havent't gone out as ...
A. 8 January 2006: Your doing all the right things to make her feel comfortable but I sense she doesnt actually feel sexualy attracted to you so will probably be happy to chug along having you as a good and trusted mate.
if you ease up on the weekly texts and phon... (read in full...)
I fancy my best friend's younger sister... Do I ask her out?
Q. Dear Agony Aunt I am 22 and I have feelings for one of my best friend’s younger sister who is 16. She is very mature for her age and looks and acts nearer 20. We get on like a house on fire and have some great laughs together. I don’t have troub...
A. 21 November 2005: How does older sis feel about you asking her baby sister out? get her approval then make your bid. Take things very gently because at 16 lerve can be far more intensive than at 25 and you need to make sure you dont give out committment signals too ... (read in full...)
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