So am I setting myself up?
Q. So i hung out with an ex boyfriend over the weekend and we had a great time. he says he still has love for me. I know he cares. anyway i texted him saying i had a nice time w/you and it made me happy to hang out with you. maby i'm analyzing it too ...
A. 6 July 2010: Shouldn't give that much importance to a text message. You're overreacting over it. It's quite possible he never got it or whatever or he just liked it but didn't think of texting back or he's nervous about what to say. Go with what the actual time ... (read in full...)
He said to be patient... but this sounds crappy, doesn't it?
Q. Ok...I'm 45 and the guy I've been dating for almost three months is 34. I've invited him to meet friends...my family..but he always backs off. Today we talked and he said that three months is way too early. We only see each other about once a ...
A. 6 July 2010: Yeh it doesn't sound like the relationship I'd want. Doesn't sound like a relationship with lots of potential but if you wanna try anyway, definitely see each other a lot more. Him making lots of excuses is definitely a bad sign and the fact that he ... (read in full...)
I'm totally confused! How do I head in another direction?
Q. I am 44 and having a hard time making a decision . I am very full of life and feel as though I am being held back .I will start by telling you that i am married for 28 yrs even though my husband moved out of our home in feb of 2008 and said he ...
A. 1 July 2010: Seems to me like you need to be the one needing rescue now. Find a guy who'll help you for a change instead of other way around. Eventually you can find balance and be a healthy couple. Divorce or not, it doesn't matter. You're seperated, that's the ... (read in full...)
I thought they were joking about a threesome!
Q. Hi, i'm 15 and there are two girls at school who keep asking for a threesome with me, I thought they were joking but they came onto me when on my own. Waht should I do??...
A. 1 July 2010: Well if you want to do it, do it. If you don't want to do it, don't do it. Or if you're not sure, ask them to wait until you've made up your mind. Simple as that. But be sure that YOU make up your mind and not let them make up your mind for you. ... (read in full...)
Is this sarcasm or jealousy?
Q. tonight i was talking to my boyfriend on chat, who is on tour with his band. we are very much in love and talk as much as we can everyday. i asked him when they were going to play their hometime because guys at my college were asking me. and ...
A. 1 July 2010: Sounds more like jealousy but really I can't be sure. Just my first impression. Sorry!... (read in full...)
Do I stop chillin' with them, or make a stand for myself?
Q. Well, I'm here again. To be honest i never though using dearcupid.com would actually help, but seeing what other people have to go through helps me coupe with some of my own problems in a strange way. I'm writing today about some friends of mine ...
A. 1 July 2010: definitely take a stand! Like you said: you shouldn't be treated that way, you don't deserve it. But it won't change easily or fast. You'll have to handle certain situations right and have a whole lot of patience to finally be seen differently. In ... (read in full...)
Caught between my parents, with my little sister. Need to find a way to improve my situation.
Q. Okay so this isn't your typical relationship question, has more to do with family, but i've always relied on you guys for help in the past so i can't think of a place i'd feel better asking this. So i absolutely hate my mom. Long story short, she...
A. 29 June 2010: You wanting to live with your mother for your sisters sake is an extremely noble thing to do. I truly respect that but it's going to take a lot, lot out of you... lots of energy, lots of cleverness, sense and endurance to really 'save' your sister ... (read in full...)
I love my friend and he doesn't know and I need help
Q. Ok I am 24 yrs old and i really bout this guy Ive known almost 4 yrs. I feel in love with him a little bit after i met him and see at the time he was with someone else and I was shy and kinda scared to tell him how i felt for him, and i figured he ...
A. 29 June 2010: Let him work for you, if he really deserves you he needs to earn it and not let you down afterwards. But same goes other way 'round, you have to put quite some effort in this thing between you too. The only bad thing I read is that he disappeared ... (read in full...)
He wants to have sex with me... to practice!!!!
Q. Hello, I'm a 17 year old straight girl, and recently one of my male friends, who is gay, was telling me about how it's common for gay guys to have sex with their female friends sort of as 'practice'... He didn't directly ask me but I'm inferrin...
A. 18 June 2010: don't do it. Your first time should be special and with someone you love. Not 'practice'. You don't practice sex. He can practice with a doll if he wants to but it definitlely oversteps boundaries even to hint you that. You deserve better and he's ... (read in full...)
Scared I'll end up pushing my boyfriend away, am I being too clingy?
Q. i'm so in love with my boyfriend, that i think i'm pushing him away. I am just so devoted and stuck to him, and i can't help it!! I can see myself doing it, but can't stop myself. He never tells me how he feels about me, he just wants to be inti...
A. 18 June 2010: just hug him and talk to him while you're doing it, feel your heart open and don't ever forget how u did it. you need to trust and open your heart, feel complete and totally safe, I think. Lock yourself in the same house with him (only you two) for ... (read in full...)
What effect can not having a proper father figure have on a man?
Q. What are the effects on sons without proper father figures? My boyfriend's father was abusive and he is constantly searching for father figures in his older friends, he told me. I wish I could help him and be his friend but maybe that is not a role ...
A. 18 June 2010: you'll never fill the spot of a father in his life, that craving he will have for the rest of his life until the right person fulfils those needs. The only thing you can do is make it as little neccesary as possible. You can always be a friend to ... (read in full...)
The man who's too perfect, or the man who's not perfect enough?
Q. I have a huge problem. I have to choose between my boyfriend, and my ex. I love both of them and i dont know who to go with. I broke up with my ex because i thought it wasn't working, but am now realizing that im missing him terribly. But, i dont ...
A. 11 June 2010: take neither and see who conquers your heart most over time
and you should be careful because triangles usually get messy... (read in full...)
How to get past emotional cheating by your husband!
Q. So recently I had this gut feeling I had two years ago to check the phone bill cause my husband was acting out of the ordinary, picking fights, very distant even in the bedroom. SO I checked it to my surprise I find that he has been texting this ...
A. 11 June 2010: just don't tollerate this. you're a woman who deserves respect so don't let it this just go around past you. Fix it before it becomes too big. Stand your ground and don't give up... (read in full...)
Mind games, or not?
Q. hi i have been away from the lady i still love for just under a year. we had 2 kids they are aged 8 and 6. she keeps saying she loves me but not in love with me. she has been seeing some guy for 4 mounths. did she love me or did she only say this to ...
A. 11 June 2010: she probably means it exactly as she says it. She doesn't have strong feelings for you but she still cares about you. Your relationship probably was like a campfire. You let it go out. You didn't work enough on it to keep it going. The fire is gone ... (read in full...)
I can't find the words to tell him not to come visit me!
Q. When I was a uni, I was in a relationship with this guy for 2 years. He was my first serious boyfriend and I loved him very much. We split up when I graduated and I left to go travelling for 2 years. Over the past 4 months, I finally started dating ...
A. 11 June 2010: plain simple truth: you don't want him to come over. say it like that too. ... (read in full...)
Does my crushes mom know that I like her daughter?
Q. Friday night, my crushes mom stopped by my house to pick her son up. Her mom and brother were talking to my parents and I. When it was almost time for them to leave, the topic of Dragon Ball Z came up because one of the voice actors has the same ...
A. 8 June 2010: Does it really matter? Of what you described, I think she doesn't think you like her daughter but you should stop focussing on that so much. You nearly make it sound like you care more about her mother than her. She probably asked if you liked ... (read in full...)
A boy wrote in my yearbook that "in all sincerity I have never admired anyone more than you in my life" but he only wants to be friends!
Q. A boy wrote in my yearbook that "in all sincerity I have never admired anyone more than you in my life" but he only wants to be friends! I've really liked him since the day I met him. I've always felt really shy and awkward around him but I'm real...
A. 6 June 2010: Keep being friends and just hold on for the right moment to tell him those things. If he's as smart as you make him to be then it'll be alright once you tell him. It's definitely understandable so you've got nothing to be apologising for. Ye there ... (read in full...)
How do I find out about his feelings for me?
Q. I spend all my time thinking abaut him and i cant sleep at night,cause he's always on my mind.I love him,but i cant tell him,because he will think that i'm a bitch.He was my causins husband,but my causin past away last year june.he asked take care ...
A. 6 June 2010: kiss him... and run like crazy!... (read in full...)
Is it wierd to not like kissing a lot of guys?
Q. IS it okay to only be able to really enjoy kissing one boy, like I liked him A LOT and whenever I kissed him it was like it was supposed to happen. And well I laughed a lot when I was kissing him... I have kissed and made out with a lot of guys but ...
A. 6 June 2010: Yeh, it's still normal. The way you feel about them probably has a big impact on howmuch you like kissing them. Nothing to worry about yet... (read in full...)
Why do guys always cheat on me?
Q. Im 18 and i have a baby girl....guys tell my im sexy all the time im always faithful in my relationships but its like no matter what i always get cheated on why is that?...
A. 6 June 2010: maybe some more information would help us answer better... (read in full...)
Boyfriend or Bestfriend?
Q. I'm having this issue with my bestfriend right now. we've been Bffls for about 7 years now, but I've recently been dating this guy for about 2 1/2 months. I think he may be the one, and I've told her so. She thinks I'm being stupid. I've never ...
A. 6 June 2010: First of, let me make clear, she might be OVERreacting but that doesn't make it any less true. You might have been spending too little time with her compared to what you're both used to or you might have just placed your boyfriend more important ... (read in full...)
Developed feelings for my FWB
Q. I have had more intimate fellings for my friend with benefits for a few months now and am unsure if I should let him know, when we began nearly a year ago we where both attached to someone else and now we are not, confussed about what to do mainly ...
A. 6 June 2010: Let him know of course, not telling will only make it worse for yourself
besides, if nearly all rules got broken already, than it's kind of pointless to keep this one standing
worst that could happen is he dies of shock... (read in full...)
Is she interested in me?
Q. I have a feeling this shy girl I like in high school likes me back but I'm a bit confused. Here are some things she does: 1. I catch her looking at me but she will quickly look away if I look her way. 2. If I say hi to her she will wither ig...
A. 31 May 2010: she definitely likes you... (read in full...)
I'm at breaking point, we were positive I was who he wanted but no one knows what to believe!
Q. Im sorry for the length of this its going to be an absolute essay! But i need to get it off my chest and i need some serious help. I’m honestly wishing right now i could just curl up and die. And im sorry to say that is no exaggeration. I will try ...
A. 30 May 2010: I just read all of your text but right now I don't seem to be able to figure it out any more than you do (probably because I'm so tired).
I could say to you: Have you payed good attention to yourself? Maybe the angle you go into a subject isn't real... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of getting close in case I get hurt again
Q. hello im a 17 year old girl and at my age i shouldnt be getting stressed out over boys but i am soo i need as much help as possible.... i finshed with my ex and we both moved on ....i seen him last week and he was drunk and he came up to my crying ...
A. 27 May 2010: "If we deny love that is given to us
If we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss
Then our lives will be empty and our loss greater"... (read in full...)
How would I find my biological father?
Q. I am 24 and looking for my biological father. I have found my biological mother. All i have is his name, surname and birth date. Please help me as to how I can go about finding him...
A. 12 May 2010: Well you've got enough information to narrow it down a lot. Just keep searching, do what you see people in television series and movies do. Definitly hit the road a lot. Be smart and check all the info you get. With a little luck and good ... (read in full...)
How would you as a person want me to act if I felt this way towawrds you?
Q. "OPs own title" I really need this question answered and taken seriously. There is this guy, and i have like him for nearly 3 years. He's my high school crush if i were to put it that way. Lately, we've been talking loads every night on IM and we ...
A. 12 May 2010: I'll keep it short.
I think he just feels comfortable around you enough and you've got the permission to go into a deeper level friendship, probably because he trusts you. That's what I make out of what you've written here. Someone acting shy arou... (read in full...)
Does it sound like he could be falling for me too?
Q. I guess I'll start from the beginning. My friends and I were sitting in the lunch room when the art teacher came over and started chatting. I'd never had him before, so I wasn't saying much. But he turned to me unexpectedly and said "Are you taking ...
A. 25 April 2010: It sounds to me that he's flirting with you on a very unhealthy level taking into account your age. You should be very careful and definitly not go alone to his house. This is not normal behaviour and even if it feels right, it may not *be* right. ... (read in full...)
I don't think about sex when I masturbate?
Q. First of all, sorry for the explicit nature of this question. I'm just wondering if anybody else feels the same way. I'm a virgin (female) and when I masturbate, I can't think about having sex or doing sexual things with another person. Well, I ...
A. 25 April 2010: You're totally normal! You just enjoy love a lot more than sex which is actually a good thing. Keep it up! You can't go wrong. You're simply a sane girl who is evolving. Don't worry! :) Besides: Love is a lot better than sex so you're definitly on ... (read in full...)
I've tried to forget for 3 years but I can't!
Q. Hey Im so confused about what to do I go to this place on holiday, and for three years i've fancied this lad that lives there like mad. Two years ago, i started talking to him and got his number. During that two years so much has happened, he tol...
A. 25 April 2010: At your age, "never having felt so much love in your life" is probably a simple thing to say because you haven't had enough experience with it. If you let him go, there will be thousands of other possible guys for you to choose from, millions. ... (read in full...)
Should I stay and wait or just go?
Q. Hi, So ive been wanting to go see my LDR gf who is currently living in texas, but when i told her she told me not to come. She said that she doesnt want me to waste soo much money to come and visit her cause she gunna come back to MD(where i am...
A. 2 March 2010: You should stay and wait, absence will make the heart grow fonder and once you see each other again in the summer, you'll be blissfully in love again. It would show a few wrong moves if you do go see her, it might show her a lot of good things like ... (read in full...)
Feeling ready to give my virginity to him.
Q. i am a virgin and i have very strong feelings for my boyfriend. we have know each other for all most a year now and i think that he may be the one i lose my virginity to. how do i get him to see that i am ready to give myself over to him without ...
A. 2 March 2010: Ask yourself a few things: Is it true love? Will he make every moment complete? Will he love you and cherish you for long after you've given it up to him? You're definitly not wrong for wanting what you want but as your age is between 13-15, I'd say ... (read in full...)
Should I keep him?
Q. I dated my fiance for 1 year before he proposed on Valentines day last year. Since then there has been internet sex flirtations that I found and he agreed that this was over and he'd never do anything like that again. Since then we have purchased ...
A. 25 February 2010: Marriage should happen when you're completely over-the-top 100 percent in love
If not? Why marry? He kept something like that from you and kept going behind your back. That's a bad secret to keep. He doesn't exactly deserve your trust through that... (read in full...)
How do I go about being friends again without things feeling awkward?
Q. Ok there's this guy that I've like forever and we've been friends forever and it seems that i've liked him forever too. But a friend blabbed a few years ago and now things are really awkward between me and this guy especially as we used to be really ...
A. 25 February 2010: You need to put your foot down and have a heart to heart talk. Put the record straight. Let him know exactly how it was going on and tell him everything you can say. Drag him of to a quiet place if you have to, be sure you'll be alone with him for ... (read in full...)
He's losing weight and I'm less attracted to him...
Q. hi i have been with my partner four 5 years almost, i am attracted to men who are more weighty than slimmer men. when i met him he was slightly over weight and it suited me just fine. now however he is beginning to lose weight and although i do lo...
A. 25 February 2010: Tell him the truth, it will be a lot easier this way.... (read in full...)
How to act around him...?
Q. Hi Agony Aunt! There's this guy I like,we'll call him *Sam*.His horse is at the same yard as my horse. He's a year younger than me. We'd been flirting for a while. I tried so hard not to give him mixed signals because I knew that if he asked me...
A. 25 February 2010: Age does not matter at all, it seriously doesn't, not ever, love is love. He asked you out and you said no and now you feel bad about it. The right way to go now is to say sorry and tell him the reason why you said no. Then tell him how you really ... (read in full...)
Should I write this relationship off soon or continue waiting, with the possibility he will never be ready?
Q. My boyfriend says he loves me a lot and is extremely happy, but does not want marriage very soon, encouraged me to move closer to my job, which is an hour away from the town we both live in right now, and talks about how he'd like his future home to ...
A. 17 February 2010: from what you describe it doesn't seem it will go forward too much. You'll have to take some action to ruffle up some stuff so you can make a better decision.
If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Always trust your gut.... (read in full...)
She wont show me love, what can I do?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 2 years in May with a girl i love with all my heart. She used to put everything she had into our relationship and i mean anything but we almost broke up and i moved to California but then we started talking again ...
A. 17 February 2010: The only way you can really make her show her love to you is to get her all on-her-mind-24-hours-a-day in love again with you. Maybe she's just used to being couple. Ruffle things up a bit, show some chemistry again. If you two are definitly worth ... (read in full...)
Why am I so tired all the time?
Q. So I am constantly tired and I can not figure out why. I mean I get a fairly good amount of sleep(from 10 till 6) Its like it is very hard to last through the day even when I am trying to prepare for my online test, its impossible for me to stay a...
A. 3 February 2010: I'd go ask a doctor if I were you! A smart one and get an appointment so you won't need to be bored in the waiting room because kids will draw on you! :(... (read in full...)
Do I go back to my ex girlfriend or continue seeing this guy?
Q. I am a bisexual female who is dating a man but my ex girlfriend i have dated for three yrs before wants me back. I just got with my boyfriend and like him but i still have feelings for my ex gf. She hurt me and cheated on me and my bf has issues ...
A. 3 February 2010: Find someone other than those two and be happy? ;)... (read in full...)
Why is everything I'm doing to make myself happier always so stupid?
Q. What is this indicating for my future? My boyfriend of over three years and I have been discussing marriage and babies for about a year now. And every time I tell him I want to work as well to bring in a second income and have only two or three ...
A. 3 February 2010: Well maybe your boyfriend is being stupid. He shouldn't call you that. If he's the only one that says it, then you shouldn't believe it even once. It's when everyone says it that you'll have a problem. Start shooting it back at him, see if he likes ... (read in full...)
She wont show me love, what can I do?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 2 years in May with a girl i love with all my heart. She used to put everything she had into our relationship and i mean anything but we almost broke up and i moved to California but then we started talking again ...
A. 3 February 2010: from what you've described, you haven't done anything wrong but hey maybe it's something else that's wrong... maybe it's your girl who has the problem... who knows? I once tried to convince my girl to get better friends and not start doing drugs too ... (read in full...)
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