Any tips on reducing my sexual activity, in order to focus on what is important for my age?
Q. im always havin sex with guys and i want to stop because i no when i get older i dont want that lifestyle any tips on reducing my sexual activity and what i can do instead of havin sex all the time...
A. 19 July 2008: Please tell me you entered your age wrong :(
If not, go see a councilor / therapist as soon as possible. What you are doing is really dangerous and unhealthy. ... (read in full...)
People say I can get any guy I want but..
Q. I can never get a real boyfriend. It seems like I can only sleep with any guy I want, but I dont want that. I want a relationship but guys just want me for sex and nothing else. I dont get it Im tall, thin (people say I look like a model) smart and ...
A. 19 July 2008: I'm guessing you are talking about guys your own age? I think at your age very many men (boys...) are just looking for sex and to get notches on their bedpost. 'Friends with benefits' might be ok, but they're not looking for commitment. Not all of ... (read in full...)
My Virgin Bride was not a Virgin. How do I cope?
Q. Hi, like many other guys I have a problem with my wifes past. I met her 25 years ago, she was 17 and I was 19. we hit it off right from the start and fell in love. we now have 2 kids aged 10 and 12. Every thing was fine until I asked her...
A. 18 July 2008: "I cant help thinking of the acts and that is why I ask for help from people who I hope will understand"
It is good that you have zeroed in on this behaviour, dealing with this is central to 'a cure'. You should treat this as obsessive behaviou... (read in full...)
My Virgin Bride was not a Virgin. How do I cope?
Q. Hi, like many other guys I have a problem with my wifes past. I met her 25 years ago, she was 17 and I was 19. we hit it off right from the start and fell in love. we now have 2 kids aged 10 and 12. Every thing was fine until I asked her...
A. 17 July 2008: Very tough situation, I can completely appreciate how you feel right now. And as you have seen, its a subject that tends to get minimal sympathy from others. Unless you've experienced it yourself, its easy to think that this is just someone being ... (read in full...)
He keeps pushing me to have another threesome. Does he really love me?
Q. i have had threesomes with my partner in the past but i have said that i dont want to do this any more but he keeps on asking me i am now confused as to wheter he loves me to keep pushing this subject....
A. 7 July 2008: If you have said clearly that you don't want to do this, and he keeps pushing, then he is being selfish. He's putting his desires in front of your happiness. That's not a good sign. He may be just being insensitive however (guys can be in love and ... (read in full...)
I care for her, but her past is disturbing, how many sexual partners is too many?
Q. Hi, this may seem like a strange question, but I really need to know the answer. I met this girl, I love her to death, but her sexual past kind of disturbs me. shes 19, started having sex at age 17, but, from age 17-18 she had 10 different s...
A. 7 July 2008: I must say I disagree about the 'permanently' comment from the answer below this (anon). Agreed it can be very difficult to get past something like this, but it is possible. I myself have done it, and I know other men who have. But it's far from ... (read in full...)
How do you spot a guy who is a 'player'?
Q. I need help / advice / tips on how to spot a player or a guy who could be taking you for a ride or what I can do to evaluate. I have met a guy who is nice enough to me and says all the nice things and has said he likes me. To be honest I havent k...
A. 7 July 2008: The simplest way to spot a player is to get to know them over time without having sex. If a guy is honestly really interested in you, he'll be happy to date, hang out and appreciate you whilst waiting for sex. A 'player' will usually lose interest ... (read in full...)
I care for her, but her past is disturbing, how many sexual partners is too many?
Q. Hi, this may seem like a strange question, but I really need to know the answer. I met this girl, I love her to death, but her sexual past kind of disturbs me. shes 19, started having sex at age 17, but, from age 17-18 she had 10 different s...
A. 7 July 2008: It can make a guy feel insecure when his girlfriend has slept with plenty of other guys. Especially if he hasn't had so many sexual partners. We dont' like to admit our insecurities, so we look to find excuses elsewhere: usually blaming our ... (read in full...)
Are girls who grew up without a father attracted more to "bad boys"?
Q. My question put simply: Do Girls who grew up without knowing their father (i.e the father left home when they were born) have a tendency to be attracted, and go with "Bad Boys" who dont really care for them, and ultimatly cheat on them and treat th...
A. 5 July 2008: I'm trying to understand what you are getting at. What I would say is:
Girls (and guys) who grow up without a father are more likely to suffer from insecurity and low self esteem.
People with low self esteem more frequently end up in contro... (read in full...)
How do porn stars last so long?
Q. I watch porn and I was wondering.. how do they last that long? They can't all use Viagra can they? What's there secret?...
A. 5 July 2008: As the others said, its editing, fluffers and viagra. Really do try to find a 'behind the scenes' documentary. They also have something called 'stunt cocks' which are basically body-doubles who can be called in if the guy can't function any ... (read in full...)
I think I'm addicted to sex. What should I do?
Q. I am a 28 years old and I think i am addiced to sex. I go out with different girls but i don`t like the way i am doing. so please, what can you advice me? ...
A. 4 July 2008: So you are married, and having many affairs as well. If that is true, then there is a very good reason you are feeling uncomfortable, and you probably know what that is? ... (read in full...)
Anyone know the percentage of women who masturbate in India??
Q. precentage of women masturbation in india?...
A. 3 July 2008: That would be impossible to find out, since many women there who do would probably not admit to it.
... (read in full...)
The Understanding Male Species...or not?
Q. After reading several of the replies submitted by Agony Uncles here on Dear Cupid, I have come to realise, or should I say, believe, that the majority of them are really very sympathetic, kind, loving, caring ~ but most of all understanding. But ...
A. 3 July 2008: Of course we cause agony in real life, we're men! And after all, other people's problems are always much more easy to deal with than ones own.
As to your article BigSis, I think your sentiment is well meaning, but it you should always remain a... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my boyfriend's attitute towards my past?
Q. when i was very young(a child)i was sexually molested and as a result in adulthood, i went looking for love in all the wrong places. i had sex with men even when i didn't want to, just because i wanted to be loved (not too many, below 10.) sex never ...
A. 2 July 2008: How to endure?
The most important thing to happen (it sounds like it may have) is for him to take responsibility for this. If he's still blaming you then that's a sign that he has not 'owned' this, which he needs to do. It's the only way for him ... (read in full...)
My BF's semen was white at some point, now it is yellow! Is this normal?
Q. Ey! I guess im back..:) My question is kinda wierd but its worth it... I was wondering what normal semen actually look like. I realised my boyfriend's semen looked yellow. Is this normal or is there something wrong with it. I know it was white at...
A. 1 July 2008: It's likely a urinary tract infection of some sort. Most are ok, but some can get bad (as in very painful). He should see a doctor, and will probably be put on some antibiotics.... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being a virgin, maybe I should have just gone out with sluts and been more liberal. I think it's time for a change in values...
Q. I´m a 23 year old virgen. I was brought up believing that saving virginity for marriage is the right thing to do. I believed in being patient, honest and faithful with my girlfriend. I believed in sacrafice and putting my partner´s feelings above my ...
A. 1 July 2008: The word 'cunt' is in Websters also. That it can be found there doesn't imply it's ok to call someone one.... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being a virgin, maybe I should have just gone out with sluts and been more liberal. I think it's time for a change in values...
Q. I´m a 23 year old virgen. I was brought up believing that saving virginity for marriage is the right thing to do. I believed in being patient, honest and faithful with my girlfriend. I believed in sacrafice and putting my partner´s feelings above my ...
A. 1 July 2008: "Along with myself, the question asker seems to have a high respect for women generally."
I don't believe anyone who has high respect for women would use the label 'slut' to describe one.... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being a virgin, maybe I should have just gone out with sluts and been more liberal. I think it's time for a change in values...
Q. I´m a 23 year old virgen. I was brought up believing that saving virginity for marriage is the right thing to do. I believed in being patient, honest and faithful with my girlfriend. I believed in sacrafice and putting my partner´s feelings above my ...
A. 1 July 2008: FinnMcCool, you make it sound as if being a "dyke, championing woman's causes" is a bad thing!
This site has many many men posting on it who are virgins (or sexually inexperienced), and hold that up as some morally praiseworthy position whilst p... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being a virgin, maybe I should have just gone out with sluts and been more liberal. I think it's time for a change in values...
Q. I´m a 23 year old virgen. I was brought up believing that saving virginity for marriage is the right thing to do. I believed in being patient, honest and faithful with my girlfriend. I believed in sacrafice and putting my partner´s feelings above my ...
A. 1 July 2008: In reference to the comment below, my point is that calling women 'sluts' is disrespectful and the attitude 'I should just go bang some sluts' is sexist. Unless you're willing to admit that by doing so you too are 'a slut'. In that case you're still ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being a virgin, maybe I should have just gone out with sluts and been more liberal. I think it's time for a change in values...
Q. I´m a 23 year old virgen. I was brought up believing that saving virginity for marriage is the right thing to do. I believed in being patient, honest and faithful with my girlfriend. I believed in sacrafice and putting my partner´s feelings above my ...
A. 1 July 2008: If you think it is good to have gone out with 'sluts' then you are right, you do need a change in values. You need to change your attitude about 'sluts', that's a degrading word and it's insulting to use it in a general way like you do.
There... (read in full...)
He won't have sex with me because I had a one night stand. This is breaking my heart.
Q. hiya well im 17 and my bf is 27 we have been together for 3 years and i love him dearly i want to spend the rest of my life with him and he says that he wants the same. well the problem is about 1 and 1/2 years ago while we was split up i had a one ...
A. 30 June 2008: He needs to commit to getting over this.
He needs to admit that it is his problem, and that it is wrong for him to be blaming you for his bad feelings.
If he's not willing to at least try to do that, then you shouldn't stay with him as it w... (read in full...)
My partner speaks to her "friend" daily. Then I found sexual text messages...
Q. I have recently got engaged and moved in with my partner. Until last week, everything was perfect and i couldn't imagine anything else i could wish for in life until we were driving home from work, my partner took a phone call from a friend i had ...
A. 30 June 2008: Busted, unfortunately. Those messages are 100% clear... she is cheating on you. As the others have said, count yourself lucky this happened before you got married rather than after (or ever worse: with a family).
I suggest you confront her, and... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's background is trashy, rather slutty and I suffer from it. How can I get past this? How can I regain confidence?
Q. Hi, I am 28 yrs old and I am in love with this 24 yrs old british girl with a pretty filled and trashy sexual background. We have been together for 4 months and connected staright away, we are both crazy and very alert but the first times we tried...
A. 30 June 2008: As you can see, this topic generates a lot of anger and criticism from people. Especially woman who themselves have suffered due to the double standard you describe, which is fair enough. Please look past their responses, this is one of those things ... (read in full...)
I want to accept Mike, but I fear he will reject me once I tell him that a while ago I slept with his brother!
Q. I have a huge crush on this guy Mike that I have been friends with for 16 years and I'm extremely close with his family.Even in high school I had a crush on him. I never once thought he looked at me the same. And a little over a year ago I had ...
A. 30 June 2008: I think you need to tell him. The chances are very high that he will find out eventually from his brother (he may even know already). You'll also be living in constant fear of him finding out.
It's much better for you to be honest at the start, t... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting to know how old she was when she lost her virginity?
Q. I am having trouble coping with the fact that my girlfriend won't tell me how old she was when she first had sex. I know who it was with, just not how old she was. I also want to know how many different guys she's been with and who they are. To a ...
A. 26 June 2008: Don't label yourself being a 'virgin' as 'old fashioned' and hence a good thing. A moral thing. What is going on here is that you are sexually insecure because your girlfriend has more sexual experience than you. Your insecurity is causing you t... (read in full...)
Should I get involved with this woman with two kids? Can I express to her how mad I am for her past mistakes? Please guide me through this!
Q. Woman with 2 kids, what should I do? We're both 23 years old I'm single and not involved in any relationship yet She's got two kids, one from a relationship from highschool and the other just recent from a three year long relationship. This beau...
A. 26 June 2008: It sounds like you want her to see her two children as 'mistakes'. Can you see how unfair and damaging that is?
It's understandable why you'd feel that way. It's very hard to feel warmth towards another man's children. The other aunts here are... (read in full...)
I miss the romance! Is he losing interest?
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. We started out as friends and slowly (VERY slowly) progessed into a comitted relationship. In the beginning he would do such cute, sweet things for me. For example, he brou...
A. 24 June 2008: This is totally natural. There is even a biological reason for it:
Human couples, for many reasons, are programmed to become less romantically involved over time. This increases noticeably around 2 years or so (when exactly varies a lot). The reas... (read in full...)
Do guys really prefer virgins?
Q. hi everyone. ok i went on holiday a few weeks ago and went on a date with this boy who was a year older than me. within 1 hour it was clear all he wanted was sex.(i didnt give him it!) i told him i was a virgin but he was still eager saying stuff ...
A. 23 June 2008: A few guys would prefer a virgin, but for most it's not a big thing I would say. However, when it comes to getting married and settling down, many guys prefer a girl who's not slept around too much. ('too much' being a very subjective term)... (read in full...)
How can I get my parents to trust us?
Q. Me and my boyfriend, we were planning to stay at the chalet for a few nights. we're going to share a bed but my parents were afraid that we would have sex. how can i persuade them?...
A. 20 June 2008: I can guarantee you that if you're boyfriend is thinking he's sharing a bed with you for a few days, he's hoping to have sex. Your parents don't trust you because they know better (than you)...
If you don't want to have sex, then don't share a ... (read in full...)
Should females tell their male partners the truth about their sexual past?
Q. I read loads of questions about this and seen it myself with a freind, Should females not tell their male partners the truth about their sexual past? if they're going to freak out what's the point? My workmate once boasted to me about how many b/f ...
A. 19 June 2008: I agree with "don't ask, don't tell"
However, the problem comes if someone does ask. The worst possible scenario is to lie about it and get 'found out' later. This can unfortunately very easily happen: a momentary slip of the tongue when drunk, o... (read in full...)
My friend says she will tell everybody that I slept with a bunch of guys at school when I was on drugs!!
Q. My life feels limitless... more things flung at me from all directions.. i think it shte dope... my friend told me to try it now i cant stop help me please i hae tried to quit but my friend says she will tell everybody that i slept with a bucnh of ...
A. 18 June 2008: If you're talking about smoking pot, it doesn't make you lose that much control, or lose control of your behaviour. Alcohol is much more effective in that department...
Moderation is the key: smoking a small amount is harmless fun, just don't ge... (read in full...)
Would I be a bad person if I left my gf due to her past...it makes me cringe to think about it...
Q. What should I do about my gf's past? I think about it every single day, multiple times a day, the closer and more I feel for her the more intense this problem becomes. She has been very promiscuous, sleeping with around 20 people of which most all ...
A. 17 June 2008: Leaving her won't make you a bad person, as long as you do so with care. Don't make it some kind of punishment, or a moral judgement, and don't leave her feeling worthless because of it. Own this yourself, don't blame her. Otherwise you're no better ... (read in full...)
Is he saying that he wants sex and could care less about love?
Q. my boyfriend wants to have sex with me. but i really dont want to. im just scared that it will hurt and the word will get around. im just comfortable with it. he says if we dont he will still love me and go out with me but i hate seeing him so sad ...
A. 16 June 2008: Yes it means he wants sex more than love. If he loved you, he wouldn't be trying to guilt-trip you into having sex with him. Don't believe that 'i'm so unhappy because you wont have sex with me line'. He's playing a game to try to get into your ... (read in full...)
Hey Guys! How come you disappear after a few dates?!
Q. This is a question for all the men. Why do you guys disappear? Like, after a few dates, few phone calls, emails..then, just vanish into thin air? for all the baffled women out there, whats up guys? ...
A. 16 June 2008: Deema's suggestion is good, as a guy I can tell you that 'the rules' work. Although sticking to them 100% is probably impossible, the closer you get the better.
They are vanishing because they're not looking for a relationship, just sex, most lik... (read in full...)
He wants to take my virginty during our outing with his parents!
Q. ok, so me and my boyfriend are going to a monster truck show and he wants to have sex during our outing (6:00 PM- about 1:00 AM) He says that he loves me and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I just feel like losing my virginity ...
A. 13 June 2008: "He says that he loves me and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me"
Let me translate this for you from 'guy talk' into 'girl talk'. By the 'rest of his life', he means his 'life up until he has sex with you'. Once he's had sex, the... (read in full...)
I was unfaithful - should I tell?
Q. been dating my boyfriend for a long while now. i love him very much and a loves me too.a believe hes been faithful these past years and he means the world to me. problem is i havent been so faithful. he thinks im a saint but ive had a few flings and ...
A. 11 June 2008: I'm not sure you should tell. Why?
Well, right now, you did wrong. And you are the one suffering for it. You are having to live with the guilt, the burden, because of what you did.
By telling him you will be unburdening yourself. But yo... (read in full...)
He hates my whole past...so why does he say he loves me?
Q. My boyfriend dislikes my past... actually hates it. He just hates every aspect of it, he hates every guy I kissed, every guy I liked, every guy who liked me... he even dislikes some of my classmates just because we were good friends and used to hug. ...
A. 7 June 2008: Strangely it is possible for him to be in love with you and to be behaving like this. In fact, I'd say its very likely. There is a saying: 'jealousy is the shadow of love'. He is so jealous because he loves you, he is insecure and afraid of losing ... (read in full...)
Is he just using me to experiment with things he's always wanted to do?
Q. I've been seeing this guy and things are beginning to get serious. The other night he told me that his ultimate fantasy is "dp" which I just recently learned means double penetration. Where there's 2 guys on one girl. I would neverrr do that.. like ...
A. 6 June 2008: Sounds to me like he's been watching porn and wants to try out what he's seen. He (and you) may find out that things in real life get a lot messier and more complicated than in porn. Handle with care.
As for your intuition.. that he's just usi... (read in full...)
My lie came to light and now my husband wants nothing to do with me.
Q. My husband left me last year because of a lie I told about my past. I have apologied for this over and over but he will have nothing more to do with me and is filing for divorce. I have tried calling, writing letters and everything but he will not ...
A. 6 June 2008: It really depends on what your lie was. You say two contradictory things: that you don't think it was that bad, but also that if you'd not have lied he'd not have married you. These two don't add up.
Having said that, 12 years of marriage is an aw... (read in full...)
I lied about my past and he doesn't like it!
Q. My bf doesn't trust me, because he dislikes my past and because I lied about it. He worries about every other crush I had before meeting him, or every other guy I kissed. I'm 19, he's almost 23. I lost my virginity to him, although my first sexual ...
A. 1 June 2008: It sounds like he's treating you really badly because of this. The main things I think you can do are to:
- Don't let him make any of this 'your fault'. The problem here is that he is experiencing an intense jealous reaction to some informat... (read in full...)
My body is hungry for sex! It's been a year!! Please help me!!
Q. Hi. I haven't had sex for a year now, as of this week. It's quite a depressing anniversary, and one that I have tried to keep off my mind, but haven't been able to. I really feel like I need sex again now, for the good of my manhood. I have made out ...
A. 29 May 2008: Masturbate frequently. I'm guessing you're already doing that, but that's unfortunately about all you can do.
Try to find a steady girlfriend that you really like and connect with. This has two major benefits: lots of regular sex, and with a g... (read in full...)
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