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*ainee agony aunt

*ainee

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*ainee's profile:

Hey, what do you think you're looking at?! My Profile? Ah, well, I guess that's the point of this...

I'm an entirely boring person (I've gotten the "exciting" and *ahem* rather questionable part of my life over with). I'm married, I have a baby boy, and I am a homemaker/student...

I come from a particularly screwed up family and I like to think that maybe I've risen above it.

My hobbies include reading more books than everyone else I've known put together and playing Dance Dance Revolution and I'm described by everybody as having dry wit and always having to be right (because I am right).

12Next > [2 pages, 56 answers]

I'm 14, pregnant, beaten and kicked out of home by my mom!

Q.   hey, i have a real problem.. im just 14 and i was with this guy for a year then i found out i was pregnant and after 3weeks i told him, he dumped me and said he hated me, 2months later i told my parents, my mom kicked me out so i live with my dad ...

A.   26 May 2007: Just to add on to DrPsych's post (as it is very good advice): Having been pregnant before, I know what you mean about hormones possibly affecting your thoughts and feelings. Every time you start to get the warm fuzzies for this guy, remember... (read in full...)

he has made comments that women have too much power, women are inferior, women can't get anything done without emotion

Q.   I have been dating a man for about a year and a half. He seems to have two very distinct sides to him. When things are going well and he is happy, he is smart, sensitive, protective, re-assuring, complimentary, loving, calm, fun and funny to be ...

A.   3 April 2007: My dear, I cannot emphasize this enough: RUN FOR THE HILLS, WOMAN! Do not, under any circumstances, allow this man to harm your children. If it was just you, I'd say it'd be up to you whether you wanted to put up with the abuse for the re... (read in full...)

I'm 13 and had sex with a lad in the school toilets, now I think I'm pregnant and don't know what to do?

Q.   Hey, Ive just done something wrong.. I just had sex with a lad in my class.. We were in science lesson at school and I noticed he was masturbating and I told him that I could see him and he told me to ask for the loo and meet him outside in 5 mins.. ...

A.   6 March 2007: I'm just going to advise you on what to do, and refrain from a judgemental answer. While you do need some stern lectures, I don't have the energy to type as much as you need to hear. First of all, go to a doctor, and have them confirm the test... (read in full...)

Is it normal for an erection to point "up"?

Q.   Im 12 and I know all about sex, but i dont no if it is normal for my penis to go point up when i get an erection is this normal? ...

A.   13 February 2007: That's why it's called an erection. =)... (read in full...)

What should I do: Stay with my boyfriend and my crappy job... or join the Army and have a great time?

Q.   ive been with my boyfriend for 6 months, and we love each other greatly, his the most imporant thing in my life. when we got together, we thought we'd only be together for a month because i was going to go into the army. but i feel in love with him ...

A.   31 January 2007: While I don't recommend anyone joining the military just because there are a few bumps along the present road, don't allow someone to curtail your dreams (especially if they might not be around in a few years). If you two really are meant for each ... (read in full...)

How do I say no?

Q.   I have a problem with saying no to boys. Last week this boy said he liked me and he was a great friend and i said i liked him to, even though I didn't cos I felt sorry for him.I'm scared in the future I might do something i don't feel happy with cos ...

A.   29 December 2006: It sounds like you don't have a problem saying "no" so much as you have a problem of not wanting to hurt someones feelings and letting them down. Next time something like this occurs, consider that it's YOUR feelings that come first, and you'll u... (read in full...)

He wants me to get bigger boobs and blonde hair and tells me if I get fat, he will leave! What should I do?

Q.   Hi my boyfriend of 5 yrs wants me to get plastic surgery for my breasts and wants me to bleach my hair. I was always happy with my breast but he says they should be bigger and higher...he also wants me to become a blonde.....which I dont think would ...

A.   22 December 2006: You've been with this guy for 5 years, but you're only 16 or 17? I've got to say, committing so much and so long to a person at the age of 11 or 12 is a bad idea. Teenagers are forming important physical and emotional connections within themselves ... (read in full...)

She says "if only you were...taller" - I think that's messed up! What should I do about this?

Q.   Dear Cupid, Im having a little bit of a problem here. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for some time now and she seems to complain or lead on that "if only you were a little bit taller..." because she is about an inch taller than me. ...

A.   11 December 2006: Technically you can gain a little height by doing stretches (yoga is good) but that will only get you about half an inch or so (I'm proof). The real problem lies in that fact that your girlfriend is shallow. To be hung up on such a minor physical... (read in full...)

My twin sister is having too many one night stands and I am very concerned for her...what can I do?

Q.   hi im 18 and i really worried about my twin sister, she has now slept with 7 people all were one night stands and 6 out of them she has taken the morning after pill! its getting ridiculous she says it will never happen again but it keeps happening! ...

A.   3 December 2006: Seeing as how you're 18, you both may have a certain right to privacy and doing what you want, but if your sister attempted suicide, would you stand idly by? Because what she is doing can be considered suicide - the STDS she's likely to pick up ... (read in full...)

I'm 18..he's 43--How do I tell him "You're too old for me I'm not attracted to you, sorry!" He's really persistant!

Q.   I wrote a question a while ago this is a sort of follow up but different... I met his guy at the club (2 months ago), he wasn't my type I'm not attracted to him but I gave him my number to be polite. Big mistake. I let him come round my house. We ...

A.   21 November 2006: My dear, the first and most important lesson a female needs to learn is to say "No". I'm not saying you need to be mean to people, but by not saying no, or just being wishy-washy and not saying anything at all, you're setting yourself up to be vi... (read in full...)

I'm torn between them - one is romantic and one is everything else I want!

Q.   I'm torn between two men! The guy I was seeing(Gary) is sweet, romantic, thoughtful, loving and treats me with respect. But he's not good in bed and I find I'm frequently bored with his company. Then I met this other guy (Ed) who's adventurous, ...

A.   14 November 2006: If you ignore all other qualities, you have this: You can teach a man to be better in bed, but you can't teach a man to CARE. So it might be better to go romantic but boring. But a person can't live in a sexual vacuum; there are things that far... (read in full...)

She flirts with my partner and he slept with her! This has ripped my heart apart! What should I do?

Q.   Hi! My partner always flirts with female friends. One married polish woman even ended up sleeping with my partner a day after we had broken up with her husband included. She and my partner had been warned how i felt about the flirting. She put a sh...

A.   8 November 2006: You're being hurt by him, you're being hurt by her, but worst of all, you're being hurt by yourself! You're not a masochist, are you? By your words, you aren't pleased with the situation, but yet you continue to put up with it. No one can make... (read in full...)

Does boob size really matter in attractiveness to guys?

Q.   This sounds really silly, but...I'm 18 and I think my boobs are too small. All my friends a D's and big C's and I'm barely a C, probly closer to a B 1/2. I'm not a very big girl about 117lbs 5'6". So maybe it's normal for my size. Still my fr...

A.   5 November 2006: Dear, having big boobs isn't all cracked up to be. I used to be a 44DD before I had a breast reduction--my back was hurting from the weight I was carrying up front. Those of average-to-small size have a better chance of buying anything off the rack ... (read in full...)

Sex before marriage? Opinions please....

Q.   Someone once told me that it would be better if I slept with a few guys before finding the one to marry. They told me that way I would really get to know men before I settle and get out of the lust stage. I'm almost 19 and I haven't slept with ...

A.   5 November 2006: If you're even a little bit hesitant about having sex before marriage, DON'T DO IT. I had a 4 year non-sexual waiting-til-marriage relationship with a man. It didn't work out for unrelated reasons, but we're still good friends. Because we waite... (read in full...)

He points out all my body flaws and it's soo hurtful! What should I do?

Q.   My boyfriend is 48. And I am getting more and more despondent and discouraged with this relationship, as time goes on. He keeps on making hurtful, digging little remarks about any flaw, on my body. I had cancer surgery back in 1993 and I have a ...

A.   5 November 2006: Actually, my dear, in good relationships a partner doesn't care about how the other looks--if they truly care for someone, they don't see the flaws or just they overlook them for what counts, like charactar and brains. The only exception is when ... (read in full...)

My perfect girlfriend, but I just don't feel I'm ready for marriage!

Q.   Hi everyone, I have been in a relationship with a wonderful girl for the past four years. She was working as receptionist at an office I was working at when we met. The first 2 or so years were absolutely wonderful. We thought we were in...

A.   3 November 2006: Maybe you do need to get more girl experience under your belt. Maybe you do need to be settled with a job and money before you're married. Maybe you're just afraid of committment. And maybe if you let her go to discover yourself, even you admit, ... (read in full...)

Do women love doing oral on a man the same as we men love doing oral on her? Or do women do it out of obligation?

Q.   I have a question for female readers from a middle aged guy. Do married women look forward to, or crave performing oral sex as a man might crave performing oral on a woman? Or, do most women who do it do it out of obligation?...

A.   1 November 2006: It really just depends on the woman; every individual has their own preferences. I like to give and not receive and sometimes I do "crave" it, but I'm an exception. You hear a lot about guys complaining they don't get it enough, but the problem ... (read in full...)

I found out my bf had cheated, now I am pregnant. What should I do?

Q.   my partner has treated me very badly for a very long time, telling me he loved me, then he didnt etc... i feel like ive been through hell and back with him. when i had just come out of hospital a few months ago he had to go away, he came back from ...

A.   14 October 2006: Only you can decide what to do, don't let others dictate your life, especially him. My advice? Leave the deadbeat, he's no good for you. If you want to keep this baby, do it. It may be difficult having a baby by yourself, but the ti... (read in full...)

He wants me to strip on cam for him or he will keep pasting my email addy to everyone!!

Q.   well this lad added me annd i ended up arguing with him cos he was really racist ((a didnt no him)) and i blocked him, thn all i get is LOADS of ppl adding me, lyk 50 every minute or summit stupid, he's basically put my addy up on a syt, en loads of ...

A.   13 October 2006: Whatever you do, don't do what he wants you to. You can always change addys, but if you give in to his demands, you will lose your self-respect. Not only that, by giving a cam show to him, you expose yourself to much worse abuse by him...you ... (read in full...)

It was his idea to stay friends so why isn't he being a friend???

Q.   After i had been going out with this guy called (P), mind you i was 19 an he was 29 yrs, he broke up with me but suggested about being friends. I said yes to that. Now after about 2 months, the past month or more he has been ignoring my txt ...

A.   12 October 2006:  Actually, to put it bluntly, when he said "let's just be friends" he probably didn't actually want to be friends with you--he just wanted to break up with you. It's a common way for someone to say they no longer want a person. It's a lot nicer ... (read in full...)

I'm wet so why don't I actually feel that horny???

Q.   Sometimes when im having sex with my bf, although im wet down stairs, i dont really feel that horny. Why would i sometimes feel that way? ...

A.   12 October 2006: Because the two aren't neccessarily connected. It's normal to be pychologically disconnected (not horny) and physically aroused. Your body can respond to the right touches, but because of women's multi-tasking nature, you can be thinking about ... (read in full...)

He has changed since I became pregnant, he also said while we are living apart the baby is my problem!!!

Q.   Pregnant and partner has changed, would love an opinion please? I am 32 weeks pregnant in a high risk pregnancy. I cant live with my partner as he works away from where I live and originally he has promised to come to where I live, but says h...

A.   15 September 2006: Wow, what an ass. Honestly, my dear, many women before you have faced the same problem, any many more will after you. You have to be strong, for yourself and for your baby. Forget the idiot--he doesn't love you! Any man worth his salt will do ... (read in full...)

Boy moved on after I said no to sex. Depressed and feel down :(

Q.   I have a problem dating men most times, because a boy I liked very very much asked me for sex on our second or third date while I keep telling him I liked him but that I preferred knowing them better to see if we could have a relationship and this ...

A.   16 August 2006: My dear, I commend you on standing your ground. Too many women give in to men these days when it concerns sex. The only men that can't accept "No" for an answer are a$$holes and rapists. At least you found out early what kind of guy he is. Don... (read in full...)

We are planning to get married but my mother and sister recent me!

Q.   Please help, My Mum is very ill, has been for a long time. The longer she's been ill the more difficult she gets. I was engaged to a chap when I was 19 and I'm now 32. She constantly refers to this guy who I dumped when I was in uni (we were eng...

A.   15 August 2006: As they say, you must live your life, and let others live theirs... but just because others live to make you unhappy, that doesn't mean you should let them! If they don't support you and your union to your fiance then don't share your joy of ... (read in full...)

Is it possible to still get pregnant if you dont have any mishaps with a condom ?

Q.   My period is 3 weeks late and this is unusual for me. I've had all the symptoms of 'coming on' for about 2 weeks now (sore boobs, needing the toilet 24/7 and being really moody etc) but still no period!! My boyfriend thinks I might be pregnan...

A.   9 August 2006: Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Yes - check your condom packages - even they say that they are not 100% effective. They're only about 96-99% effective even when used correctly. Take a pregnancy test. Some symptoms of pregnancy are the same as ... (read in full...)

Pregnancy and periods

Q.   hi i am about 8/9days late for my period i have done two pregnancy tests and bother came back negative i did one about 3/4days late then another 6/7days late is there a chance i could be pregnant? at the moment my breasts are very very tender and i ...

A.   4 August 2006: While there is very little chance for a false positive, false negatives can occur when enough time hasn't past for the pregnancy hormones to register. Since my periods are irregular, my first and only (I was never sick) indication of pregnancy was ... (read in full...)

He slept with his ex.... Now she says shes pregnant!!!

Q.   hi i have been with my boyfriend for three years now ,he loves me and i also do. Lately we have a problem which is fading my love for him but he still loves me The problem is he saw his ex girlfriend and due to lust he slept with her, and n...

A.   31 July 2006: He said you should not let him down and should stand by him? What a hypocrite! My dear, HE is the one that let YOU down by sleeping with his ex; not to mention getting her pregnant. It is possible to continue with this man, but you must be advis... (read in full...)

My husband thinks my vagina should be "like a virgin"...

Q.   I have a husband. We married in 2004, but now he doesn't want sex with me because he want me like a virgin.p /> He wants my vagina should be too small. I don't know what to do to make small my vagina....

A.   31 July 2006: This situation is like a woman saying to her husband, "I'm not having sex with you again until you grow your penis to fit me!" It's ridiculous. Your husband is acting like an idiot, because after being married for a while and having normal ma... (read in full...)

Can I still have children that wont get infected even though im HIV postive ?

Q.   I found out that I had HIV 3 months ago. Even though I'm taking medication, the thing that really upsets me is that I may not be able to have children. Will I be able to have children who aren't infected with HIV?...

A.   28 July 2006: Indeed you can. Be sure to speak to your doctor about your intentions. This is a good resource: http://aids.about.com/cs/womensresources/a/pregnancy.htm It lists the chances of transmitting HIV to a child as 1 in 4 (25%) without treatment, bu... (read in full...)

My dressing up just wasn't good enough for him!

Q.   The other night, I wanted to dress up for my partner in sexy lingerie but he said that it wasn't spontaneous enough and that I should have been wearing the underwear beneath my clothes when we out for a social evening. The thing is, stockings and ...

A.   9 July 2006:  Just to point out, spontaneous is doing something spur of the moment - putting it on before dinner /planning/ on doing something isn't spontaneous at all! If your bf is going to be an ungratful prat, he should at least get his complaints right. ... (read in full...)

Am I paranoid for sending her panties away to be tested for "stains"?

Q.   my wife has been working overtime and claims to get comp time but she uses her vacation time. she is working overtime again (she really is) said it was going to be time and a half not showing on check. in january she recieved a phone call letting ...

A.   9 July 2006:  I'm surprised so many people are calling you delusional. You're not paranoid when someone/something really is out to get you, or in this case, cheating on you. If you indeed /did/ get a phone call and letter from outside person(s) (if you ... (read in full...)

What are your thoughts on our baby?

Q.   Hello, I need some thought and expert opinions. I have a baby girl and she will be turning 2 in October, and she says some words here and there and recognises the different words and sounds and actions, so the norm for a two year old. My curre...

A.   8 July 2006:  While the answers here are supportive and accurate, you must be careful as well - you say you're living abroad, but where? If in America, you have to watch out for the schools. In some schools, if there is even a hint that the child is speaking ... (read in full...)

Refused sex with my online guy now he says he'll post my pictures online!

Q.   i really need help, ive met this guy tru the online chatting and we exchange nude photos because we trusted each other, he ask me to have sex with him but i refuse to do it because i dont really just gave sex to any one! i am not a slut,. and then ...

A.   26 June 2006:  It would be nice to know your respective ages... if you are a minor, and he's not, giving you a naked photo of himself (whether or not you gave him one) would be distributing harmful materials to a minor and/or soliciting sex with a minor in many ... (read in full...)

How can I get my mum and my wife to get along!?

Q.   Whats the best way to get your wife and mother to get along? Ok I'm not christian so I don't plan on dumping my mother for my wife. I love my mother and will always be there for her. But I also love my wife and would like to have a good marriage....

A.   21 June 2006:  It would help to know what you mean by not getting along... what are they doing? Is it your mother that is the instigator of the problems, or your wife? Has it always been this way, or did something cause a rift?... (read in full...)

How do I get my boyfriend to sort out his dental health?

Q.   This is a kind of odd post. I have a new boyfriend and everything is absolutely amazing, only his teeth are really really disgusting. When he smiles you can see this nasty whitey yellow stuff acumilating on his gums and teeth. I know it's not a ...

A.   17 June 2006:  Here's one thing you can do: Before you potentially hurt his feelings, try the passive-aggressive approach - when he comes for a visit, excuse yourself to go brush your teeth (and say so) and tell him that you just ate something and want to ... (read in full...)

Would having a baby change my boyfriend's motivation?

Q.   So Here I am almost 20 years old. I want to have children but i am so not finacialy ready and neither is my boyfriend. My boyfriend had no motivation to get a job or go to school. Am I wrong for thinking if we both diside to have a baby it would ...

A.   16 June 2006:  Bluntly put, you should never decide to have a child for any reason other than that you are ready for one. "Ready" is relative, but in these days and age, it usually refers to financials and wanting to be a parent. You yourself say you're not ... (read in full...)

Why does my sister act like this towards me ? Is she using me ? What do I do ?

Q.   Hi everyone, I am having a really hard time trying to figure out what is going on in my sisters head. We have quite a close relationship, but If im honest I think its more of a case that she uses me and I let her. She is 28 and I am 21. Our parents ...

A.   14 June 2006:  This is NOT just sisterhood. This is something that can be tagged quite simply as emotional/psychological abuse. "Normal" sisters do not do this to each other - sure, there is rivalry of sorts, but nothing to the degree of which you speak. ... (read in full...)

I have been dared to have a gang bang at 13!

Q.   hi am a jade and i am quite young still i am 13 years and 11 months and i am quite average i like to wear girly clothes and do social thigns but yesterday i went bowling with 5 of my guy mates that i get along with really well. i enjoyed it and we ...

A.   9 June 2006:  CAN you do it? Of course you can (the law says no, but laws can be broken). SHOULD you do it? OMG ARE YOU INSANE!? NO! NO! NO, YOU SHOULD NOT! This is an incredibly bad situation to put yourself in! It doesn't matter that you have been Dared - ... (read in full...)

All I did was answer her question honestly, now shes hardly talking to me! what have I done wrong?

Q.   Hi, this is my first time doing this, im also using my wifes account!! im really confused, the other day my wife asked me if i fancied any one and i didnt think i did, but after thinking about it all night i realised i do fancy atleast 10 people, i ...

A.   9 June 2006:  Take a bit of advice from someone who's come from a messed up family: Almost all cheaters will cheat again (and with his "I would sleep with them if I got the chance" he certainly will) and those that don't have damaged their relationship ... (read in full...)

I can release milk...help!

Q.   I am pretty embarrassed about this so that is why I am writing anonyumously. I am 22 and for the last three years, up to two months ago, I'd been living with my bf but now we have split up and he has moved out. He hasn't left me pregnant or given me ...

A.   8 February 2006:  If it's like regular breastmilk, the leaking will continue as long as the body feels a need to produce it - as long as it thinks a baby is feeding, in other words, as long as you make it come out. Your expressing your milk only further ... (read in full...)

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