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| Latest articles: Facebook: What does it really mean?
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 July 2010: Nothing! Several situations can be mistaken to mean something more, when they truly don't carry much significance. For example: The friend you've been crushing on for the last six months accepts your third attempt at a friend request, and...
What to do when the person you're attracted to is already taken.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
7 July 2010: Run the hell away. I've seen several questions of this nature on the site. It seems like a simple problem, although in reality it's not. It's complicated and messy, and almost always leaves one person's emotions in ruins while the other enjoys hav...
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Is it better to tell the truth, or hold on to a lie to prevent conflict?
Q. I have a dilemma with my current partner. I have been lying to him about something that I know will cause him pain, and/or cause him to reconsider being in a relationship with me. I fluctuate between wanting to tell the truth, and facing the hard ...
A. 20 October 2010: If this secret is something that can seriously affect your partner or impact him in any way, you'll have to come clean and tell the truth. He has a right to know, as well as a right to choose whether he still wants to be with you. You can hope he'll ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is obsessed with drugs. What do I do?
Q. This summer my boyfriend started trying to do drugs. He had never done anything like that before, which is how I liked it, because I am morally against drugs. However I made myself accept his occasional use. When he got to college, his habit got ...
A. 20 October 2010: It might just be a phase, it's still new to him and the novelty hasn't worn off yet. Give it some time, but let him know you'd prefer it if he didn't bring the subject up with you. If he gets worse or starts using drugs again, a serious talk and ... (read in full...)
Is our FWB relationship over? Are we just friends now?
Q. Hi - I posted about this a coupled of days ago. We are FWB for the last months, but a long distance thing. He used to be desperate to see me and we travel all around europe with the only purpose of seeing each other. We talk almost every day and he ...
A. 20 October 2010: I think you're reading too much into it. Don't overanalyze, you'll only drive yourself crazy trying to understand and read between the lines when there's nothing there to stress over.
It sounds like he might have felt suffocated, as if things w... (read in full...)
He won't reply to any of my texts/ calls, what do I do?
Q. I got all hot headed on monday and after he had left i asked him by text if he was using me just for sex. SOmetimes it does feel like this as we dont get to spend much time together. Having thought about it I guess I was a bit harsh on him and ...
A. 20 October 2010: Sending any more texts and calling repeatedly will make him less likely to answer. You've made it clear you want to get in touch, now it's up to him to get back to you. If he doesn't, you'll just have to move on.... (read in full...)
What could his actions mean?
Q. Dear Cupid I take private piano lessons. The teacher is near the same age as me,(about 43). He seems shy and a bit nervous around women; you know, 'academic' looking; a bit 'geeky'. He also does transposition work for me on my music. ...
A. 20 October 2010: Don't read too much into it, he could've left it there accidentally, and if that were the case it would probably embarrass him if you brought it up. I agree with dirtball, he doesn't seem like the type to make the first move, so why don't you?... (read in full...)
Is it necessary to tell someone you're dating about your past?
Q. How much do you tell a guy you love about ur past, about passed hook ups, stupid things uve done, is it really necessary? wouuldn't he have a bad image of me when i know that im not this person. Im afraid he wont trust me if he knows about my past ...
A. 20 October 2010: There's no need to, it's in the past and should stay in the past.... (read in full...)
I'm not sexually attracted to my girlfriend anymore!
Q. I love my girlfriend very much, we have been dating a good 2 years. The problem is is that I don't find her sexually attractive anymore. Because of this I have cheated on her a couple of times, once was on a break. I don't want to break it off ...
A. 20 October 2010: You didn't want to break up because you're afraid to lose the sense of security she gives you. If it was really about her feelings and not hurting her, you wouldn't have cheated in the first place. The idea of having a relationship to fall back on ... (read in full...)
I know he loves me, but doesn't want me. Porn is his turn on!
Q. My husband is always watching porn. It's gotten so bad he doesn't want to touch me if he can't run to the bathroom to view porn on his phone. He watches it at work. When we are alone. When we have tv time. If I want to have sex with him he tells me ...
A. 19 October 2010: Nothing you do or say will make him change if he doesn't want to change, sorry. He may promise he'll stop but he hasn't, has he?... (read in full...)
She can't decide what she wants, should I even bother anymore?
Q. Ok, first off sorry for the length. Here's the preface. I'm a 23 y/o virgin. The girl in question knows this before we start hanging out, thanks to an ex-friend I have since cut out of my life. So I tell this girl I've been hanging out with ...
A. 19 October 2010: Ah, I see. I may have missed that part in your question, and I agree no-contact would be awkward in that kind of situation.
Don't tell her outright she blew her chance to be with you. Actions speak louder than words as the saying goes, and dist... (read in full...)
She can't decide what she wants, should I even bother anymore?
Q. Ok, first off sorry for the length. Here's the preface. I'm a 23 y/o virgin. The girl in question knows this before we start hanging out, thanks to an ex-friend I have since cut out of my life. So I tell this girl I've been hanging out with ...
A. 19 October 2010: It may be hard, but you need to move on and forget about her. She's only messing with your head and seems to keep you around only because she likes the attention. She's going to continue to play games as long as you let her, which is why you need to ... (read in full...)
She wants to pick out her engagement ring, but I want it to be a surprise!
Q. After years of dating I have decided it is time to take the next step and ask my girlfriend of six years to marry me (many years of school has kept me very occupied). I intend on asking her during or just after the holiday season this year. ...
A. 19 October 2010: Let her pick the ring. It does ruin some of the surprise, yes, but you'll know she'll definitely like it and she'll still have no idea when or where you're going to propose.
... (read in full...)
I know he loves me, but doesn't want me. Porn is his turn on!
Q. My husband is always watching porn. It's gotten so bad he doesn't want to touch me if he can't run to the bathroom to view porn on his phone. He watches it at work. When we are alone. When we have tv time. If I want to have sex with him he tells me ...
A. 19 October 2010: It sounds like he has a serious porn addiction, which needs to be treated by a professional. It'll take some work, but can definitely be overcome if he's dedicated to it. Unfortunately, until your husband recognizes this is a problem and is willing ... (read in full...)
He says I shouldn't hold my breath waiting for a relationship
Q. I have started seeing this guy and I absolutly, no doubt about it really like him. he says he likes me too but...theres always a but, he says he doesnt want a relationship with anyone and that I shouldnt hold my breath, though he keeps on talking ...
A. 18 October 2010: He wants to be friends with benefits, i.e. he's interested in the benefits of a relationship (sex, basically) without having to put in the effort one requires, which leaves him free to play the field and date whoever he wants while keeping you on ... (read in full...)
Guys Only Please* nude pics of gf
Q. GUYS ONLY PLEASE I mean this, because girls view the world in a totally different way, and they all THINK they know what guys are thinking and the reasons behindd their actions, but are usually wrong. A girl asking for insight into a guy's min...
A. 18 October 2010: If he did that, he didn't respect you enough to care about your privacy or what the impact might have been. It doesn't matter if he had a fetish for it, it's still disrespectful when done without your approval. If you're willing to discredit a v... (read in full...)
He broke up saying I was too obsessive over him!
Q. me and my boyfriend have recently broken up. we were together for 2 years and 4 months. when he broke up with me he told me he still loves me and always will. he broke up with me because i was obsessive over him and my world just revolved around h...
A. 17 October 2010: If he really wanted to be with you, why would he want to break up in the first place? It sounds like there was more to the break up on his side than he's letting on. The text might have been an attempt to keep you attached, in case something or ... (read in full...)
What should I do if I'm falling for an unhappy married man that I truly care about?
Q. I live in LA. I met this guy that is married he says hes not happy. We met at a karaoke bar. he was really honest told me he was married with 3 kids two are adults one is 14. i am 24 and he is 35. he is a very nice respectful guy. we talk ...
A. 17 October 2010: If things were really as bad as he says, he would've left his wife by now. Instead he's feeding you a sob story so you'll feel bad for him, knowing it'll hook you in and subconsciously make you want to 'fix' him.
This may help: http://w... (read in full...)
Is he playing hard to get and why hasn't he returned my call?
Q. okay my ex broke up with me over the summer and i was heartbroken but we've been talking to each other, in fact i know more about him in the last two months than in the last months months of his relationship. now i told him if he starts to see other ...
A. 17 October 2010: Men don't play hard to get, either he's interested in being with you again or he's not. Judging by his actions and the fact that he's not making much of an effort to stay in contact with you, I'd say he's not interested in dating again and probably ... (read in full...)
Voice your opinion on giving 12 year old children iPhones and the access to FREE PORN that Safari browser gives them.
Q. I would just like to know what parents out there or any one for that matter thinks about the fact that in our society we protect our children from movies with inappropriate sexual content with NC-17 ratings, but we hand them and iPhone as young as ...
A. 17 October 2010: Children that young shouldn't have an iPhone in the first place, in my opinion. Obviously they can't be shielded all the time from anything explicit, but part of the problem definitely falls on the idiocy of parents giving their 10 or 12 year old an ... (read in full...)
Should I believe him about this online dating account?
Q. I feel like I'm being stupid about this, but the other day I found out my boyfriend signed up for fling.com. He says he thought it was just an adult site where he could look at pictures, but it clearly is a place to find a fling. I questioned him ...
A. 16 October 2010: He was fully aware of what he was doing and what the site was for, as others have said it's right in the site address. Dump him, his poor excuse for an explanation shows just how stupid he is and how little he really respects you. You deserve much ... (read in full...)
Why do I find teenage girls attractive?
Q. Hey, I'm a 22 year old guy and would just like to know why I still find teenagers attractive, nothing under legal age of course, just barely legal really turns me on. My last few girlfriends have all been 16, it's not that I don't find girls my own ...
A. 13 October 2010: It sounds like what you're attracted to is vulnerability and naivete, not to mention the fact that 16 year old girls are easier to impress than 22-25 year old women. When I see someone around my age dating a girl that's barely out of high school, I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wanted a break because he says he takes me for granted!
Q. my boyfriend wants a break, it has been exactly a week. he told me that he wants some time to appreciate his company, and that he is really taking me for granted right now. he also has other issues, saving money for a holiday and moving into a new ...
A. 11 October 2010: He's feeding you such a bullshit line, and at this rate might as well say 'We should break up because I love you too much'. It's a cover for something else, he's saying these things and giving you false hope to keep you hooked all while he has his ... (read in full...)
How can I change our sex only relationship into something more?
Q. A few weeks ago, I got talking to a guy at a bar (foolish place to meet someone I know). One thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. Since then he has added me on facebook and texted me a few times. We have seen each other on nights ...
A. 11 October 2010: It would be a good idea to stop sleeping with him, yes, but not because it might get him to want more than a casual relationship. That's not going to work, if anything it'll confuse and annoy him because your original agreement was 'no strings ... (read in full...)
I have an upper ear piercing anddon't know what I can or cannot do in regards to it?
Q. Hello. This isnt a relationship problem, but I desperatly need help with this problem. I am 13 years old. My mother took me to a tattoo parlor to get my upper ear pierced [ cartilage ] for my birthday. I didnt know if they would put a stud in or a ...
A. 11 October 2010: Hopefully you waited until the piercing was fully healed first, otherwise changing the jewelry too often will irritate and possibly infect it again.
Anyway, it sounds like they gave you a captive bead ring, which usually has to be opened and clos... (read in full...)
Big questions about living in New York?
Q. Hey i am finishing college soon and i hope some people from Newyork would read this. i dont want to work in my country i would love to spend the sacend half or whats left of my life outside and i want to expraince being in a man with in millions...
A. 10 October 2010: I've lived in New York my entire life, and consider myself lucky to live in such a diverse city and be able to experience so many different cultures in one place. In my experience, it has a very accepting atmosphere, so no worries there.
Unfor... (read in full...)
Is he saying what I want to hear for sex?
Q. So, a year ago I started a new weekend job and met this guy. I instantly felt attracted to him, and we started talking. Gradually, we started texting and hanging out after work, and after about a month we kissed. Every time we met up after that we ...
A. 10 October 2010: He could be telling the truth, but even with that in mind, there are plenty of things you two could do for dates that don't cost much. If he keeps giving reasons and excuses rather than finally just say 'hey, let's go out', you should move on to ... (read in full...)
What does this "free agent" text mean?
Q. My husband got a text messages from a female saying," I'm glad you have the same number. free agent?" and another message giving her address. also wrote," free agent?" again. i need to know what does she mean when she saids,"free agent?"...
A. 9 October 2010: She wants to know if he's single.... (read in full...)
Is he saying what I want to hear for sex?
Q. So, a year ago I started a new weekend job and met this guy. I instantly felt attracted to him, and we started talking. Gradually, we started texting and hanging out after work, and after about a month we kissed. Every time we met up after that we ...
A. 9 October 2010: I agree with slimfish, it sounds like it's both. He may just be the type that's not looking for a relationship, but wouldn't be opposed to all the benefits of one. You won't know for sure until you ask him, though.... (read in full...)
How do I wait it out without over reacting and chasing him away?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been on a break a week and a half now. He hasn't called or texted much and neither have I. He asked for this break because he feels guilty considering he is still married, but they've been separated over a year and she ...
A. 8 October 2010: You shouldn't have to wait, period. He's still technically married, which should automatically mean no involvement until the divorce is final. Why should you have to put yourself on hold and hang on to a possibility while he gets his life in order? ... (read in full...)
Friend's appearance problem is bugging me!
Q. Whenever I talk to my friend whom is really gorgeous and cute.. she always gets the topic of appearances up. She tells me that I'm so pretty and that she herself is so ugly and lower than dirt. It was fine at first, telling her over and over that ...
A. 7 October 2010: There isn't much you can do other than be there for her. Your friend has severe issues with self image and no amount of reassurance or plastic surgery can fix that, even if she's convinced it will.... (read in full...)
B/f wants to have sex, I want to wait till marriage but am afraid of losing him!
Q. My boyfriend wants to have sex with me but I disagree and he seems disappointed about it. He has been pushing for it during our last make out. I am afraid that one day our relationship will be spoil because of my rejection to have sex with him. I ...
A. 7 October 2010: It's your choice what you do with your body, not his. He's too busy thinking of himself and his own wants to realize there's more to the relationship than that, and that you have a mind and opinion too. Unfortunately he's always going to pressure ... (read in full...)
I like him, but don't want to come across as pushy!
Q. There is someone I met a couple of months ago and we have been getting along well. We've talked alot, seen eachother alone and with friends, kissed and had sex. He has made the effort with me and I'm sure that he does like me. We haven't talked a...
A. 7 October 2010: You're sure he likes you, but you're hesitant to tell him you like him? That doesn't make a lot of sense, to be honest.
Don't lower your standards and sacrifice your self-respect just because you're afraid he won't like you for it. If he reacts n... (read in full...)
Would he ever date me in spite of my weight?
Q. There is a guy that i used to hook up with as a teenager. now after many years i saw him again at college n he went out of his way to start a conversation up with me. now me n him are hanging out and talking all the time. he is showing many signs ...
A. 7 October 2010: Instead of being concerned about his standards and meeting them, you should have your own. He's not going to date you because you're a friend with benefits, I doubt your weight is really an issue with him.
The next time you find someone you're i... (read in full...)
How do women decide whether a man is to be a friend or a boyfriend?
Q. I'm 25, a virgin and have never had a girlfriend. The strange thing is that I've always had more female friends than the average man does. (No, I don't get mistaken for being gay) I'm not a recluse and I cannot understand why other men have so ...
A. 6 October 2010: Make your intentions more obvious, and be confident about it. If a woman doesn't see you're interested in her, she's going to assume you're not. However, I wouldn't suggest taking the route of feeling someone up unless you're just looking for a shag ... (read in full...)
Some days he's interested, some days he's not!
Q. heres a long story short iv met this boy and he seem intrested some days but then does bother for weeks am i wasting my time or try and make him intrested ??...
A. 6 October 2010: Don't bother. Find someone that shows interest all the time, not only when it's convenient.... (read in full...)
Is he lying or telling me the truth?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over half a year. I was the first to say I love you, but he took a little more time to say it back to me. Like 2 months more time after I said it. His past history with relationships really isn't ...
A. 6 October 2010: It doesn't matter how sincere he sounds, the important thing to keep in mind are his actions and how ridiculous his story is. He's clearly lying, and even if he didn't sleep with another girl that night, it definitely shows the intent to at some ... (read in full...)
How to go from Facebook to dating?
Q. I've recently gotten out of a 15 year marriage and am ready to start dating again. I have found someone I'm interested in, but do not really want to make the first move. The guy is a friend on fb, who I grew up with. He seems to 'like' EVERYTHING ...
A. 5 October 2010: Who says you can't be the one to make a move? Most (if not all) men would be flattered by a woman taking initiative, rather than waiting for him to chase her.
Tell him you'd like to speak with him on the phone for a change, because Facebook... (read in full...)
Boyfriend thinks if we move into together I should pay double his rent because he has a car!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend now for 8 months, i am 27 and he is 28, and he is very sweet and kind and very caring. Recently, well today I was discussing perhaps moving in together in the future. I am living with a roommate and he is living with ...
A. 4 October 2010: It's his choice to have a car, not yours. It would be different if you both shared it equally, but it sounds like that's not the case. If he can't afford both it and the rent, he shouldn't have a car at all.
I suggest you point out to him why this... (read in full...)
His girlfriend is in the way!
Q. Okay, so i really like this guy, and he likes me too. But he has a girlfriend. What should i do?...
A. 4 October 2010: Leave him alone. He's already with someone, which means he's off limits and not available.... (read in full...)
He wants his ex-wife back, but wants to have sex with me?
Q. This is a really weird question but please help me. I have been chatting with a 40 year old guy on the internet for about a year. I am 18. We started talking about all kinds of things when we first met, but now it's pretty much about sex. I'm not ...
A. 1 October 2010: Writing about missing his ex-wife and wanting her back has nothing to do with the fact that he's trying to get into your pants. He probably figures he might as well get something from you while waiting for his ex to come around. ... (read in full...)
I am confused, and wondering if I have scared him off
Q. You guys have been helpful in the past...please help again. Right, I have moved on in my life. Relocated, new job, starting again. Recently a friend of mine called me and invited me to a dinner party. It was local to where I am now living a...
A. 30 September 2010: It's too soon to tell. If he doesn't contact you at all for over a week, he probably lost interest. He could be legitimately busy and unable to call, but a text takes minimal effort. For that reason, I think it would be best to leave it. Don't ... (read in full...)
Star signs and love
Q. This a rather strange question but I'm very curious about this specific little subject :) A lot of people turn to the zodiac for tips on love and relationships. When I tell men I'm a Scorpio, they either think sex fiend, or possesive, jealous psycho ...
A. 30 September 2010: According to the zodiac and nearly everyone I know, I'm 100% Pisces. My personality does fit the description really well, but that's all there is to it for me. It's a bit of fun, sure, but I wouldn't use it as a basis for anything serious.... (read in full...)
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