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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Boyfriend is insisting I sell my house
Q. I'm a women in her late 40's and my boyfriend of 5 years is in his mid 50's. Both of us have been married 2x's and we both have children in teen's and early 20's. I own my home and he lives in a family member's extra home in a different city. He ...
A. 27 August 2016: For his age that's extremely childish and I can't believe he's even making an issue out of it.
Tell him to stop being so stupid and you won't even consider selling something that you're so proud of earning yourself.... (read in full...)
Nice girl/ compliments/ kinda hard to understand/ help?
Q. Hey everybody! How is it going? I need your guys help on this thing, I've never had a longboard relationship, but i blame it on me, I never had patience to put up with relationship issues and never looked for it. Although, I also never had proble...
A. 27 August 2016: She doesn't sound Interested at all. You said you made a move and she started to avoid you, what part of that makes you think she likes you?
Leave her be and move on... (read in full...)
I'm still blocked, does he still hate me?
Q. Hi - I had a bad fall out with a guy who I discovered was two timing me. He got annoyed because I found out a lot of things about him and made sure people knew about it and so understandably he blocked me! Two years later - I have moved on...
A. 24 August 2016: She people get blocked it's very rare for them to find their self being unblocked. There's not really much point to going around and reviewing who you've blocked and whether they need to stay that way is there?
You said you've moved on, so let i... (read in full...)
Intimacy question, boyfriend doesn't want to be intimate with me
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months who is 33. He is the one who asked me to be his girlfriend. Things are great , he is sweet and nice. However, whenever it comes to intimacy. He wants me to stay over at his place and we just cuddle. He a...
A. 24 August 2016: Ask him, it's not possible for any of us to know the reason.... (read in full...)
I sent flowers to a girl at work and I didn't realise I had done so. Can the friendship be saved?
Q. I'm looking for some help and advice. I'm friends with a co worker at work who is a female, we agreed to just talk at the workplace instead of facebook as she says gets overwhelmed by receiving messages. I did something I'm not proud of and sent her ...
A. 23 August 2016: I've never heard of someone being overwhelmed by Facebook messages before. It sounds like she doesn't really want to talk to you but you're not taking the hint.
You need to back off man... (read in full...)
Is she playing me? Should I send her my love letter to her?
Q. Hi everybody I am a senior in high school and on the third day of school I walked into class and this girl said hi to me and didn't know me and I said hi back. When I walked to the other side of the classroom she asked me to come and sit by her and ...
A. 21 August 2016: I wouldn't give her a love letter dude, girls in this day and age may find something like that a little weird. Just ask her out, take her for food or a fun activity like mini golf that you can have a bit of a laugh and get to know about her.
If sh... (read in full...)
My Bf's cousin died recently, in a car accident. Now he's acting all weird. What did I do wrong?
Q. I have been dating my bf for the past 3 1/2 months and I love him so much and he loves me. but recently he lost his cousin in a car accident. He was acting fine all day yesterday and then my friend called me. He is gay and he lives across the coun...
A. 18 August 2016: He's just lost a family member, it's not hard to work out why he's ignoring you. He needs alone time to grieve, I don't think it's anything to do with you.
And what the hell was your friend playing at? What a bizarre thing to say at such a time.... (read in full...)
I can't think of any solutions to get him to move out. Help?
Q. Hi. My boyfriend moved in with me 8 months ago as he was retrenched. Fortunately he now has a new job but the spell of unemployment hit him hard financially and he is still struggling to make ends meet. He also has a child with ex girlfriend. Our ...
A. 18 August 2016: Not sure what male anon is on about lol don't think anyone is having a go at the poster.
I agree with what everyone else has said, you've already given him time to find a new place and sounds like he's fobbing you off. Throw his stuff out and chan... (read in full...)
Distance says no but my heart says yes
Q. Hello, i have spoken to this guy for a few years and met him a handful of times and kissed. I speak to him everyday and his like my best friend (as well as relationship material) but we have never tried a relationship due to my travelling and living ...
A. 18 August 2016: Well if you want to try it, tell him. Life is too short to be wondering what could of happened.
Either ask him out, or cut all contact (remove his social media, block his number) and move on.... (read in full...)
In a relationship, how much porn is too much porn?
Q. I love my boyfriend of 6 years, but after living together for 1 year our sex life has grown dull. For some reason we haven't openly talked about masturbation/porn in at least 2 years, but I guess I always knew my boyfriend watched it even now we ...
A. 18 August 2016: Yeah, if you're not happy then tell him. Tell him you're not having sex enough and it's bothering you. Just because you get on well doesn't mean you're sexually compatible and for a lot of people that can be a deal breaker.
... (read in full...)
I regret my hasty words
Q. To make a long story short a little while ago I told a really good friend of mine that I liked her as more than a friend and she ended up telling me that she didn't feel the same way which I tried to be ok with. It all eventually came crashing down. ...
A. 17 August 2016: Sign up to the gym, let all your stress and frustration out in there. There's not much you can do besides keep yourself busy and focus on yourself.... (read in full...)
Could my fears be true?
Q. Hey there just like help and some advice. My partner works at a pub in town and she could work up to 3 nights a week. We do have 4 kids together too. Well I maybe getting a bit paranoid but it’s starting to hurt my feelings and it’s happened 3 t...
A. 17 August 2016: I knew a girl who sometimes had to work extra hours on the bar when it's busy so it's not an excuse I don't think.
She's told you what happened and she said she played down the guys interest, what more can you do ? If you start prying to find mor... (read in full...)
Should I be considering breaking up with my Gf since I suffered erectile issues with her recently?
Q. So I recently posted about trying not to get too excited when I'm with my new girlfriend. Well, tonight it went the complete opposite direction. We were at her place (she lives with her mom, stepdad, and three siblings) and things were goin...
A. 12 August 2016: Have you talked to her ? Tell her what the problem is.
If you start being off with her when it comes to sex then she's going to be wondering whats going on and thinking YOURE up to something dodgy because you're not being straight up.
It's a ... (read in full...)
Why did he masturbate right after sex?
Q. Hi just a quick question please.. Me and my boyfriend had sex the other day after i went to the toilet i went back in to the bedroom and my partner was masturbating baring in kind we had just had sex. What ut is all about? Any advice is greatl...
A. 11 August 2016: Maybe he was embarrassed that he didn't finish off and didn't want to ask you to do it for him.
I unfortunately suffer from not being able to finish 95% of the time even if I have a woman doing it for me and I'd imagine they take offence because ... (read in full...)
My brother's ex' has put a hook in me
Q. So here's my dilemma. I have fallen for my brother's ex-girlfriend. I am a 24-year-old male who has not really experienced a lot of romance in my life up to this point. However, I have never felt this way about a woman in my life and I feel terri...
A. 11 August 2016: Don't find yourself in situations that you two will be together, it's really not worth falling out with your brother over if he finds out.
The less you see her, the feelings will become less intense, it may feel shitty at first but the feelings... (read in full...)
My Bf says I look too young. Is he embarassed to be seen with me? I'm 22.
Q. Hi guys, I have an issue with my boyfriend which is making me question myself. Basically, I am 22 and he is 28, I have always looked quite young but at 22 i still get mistaken for like 16 sometimes and usually people say i look young. I used to ...
A. 9 August 2016: He sounds like an asshole.
That is your appearance. You can't change that without surgery so what exactly is he expecting you to do. I can't believe he actually said to you that you're embarassing him.
Maybe he needs to find someone who he f... (read in full...)
I want to know why he doesn't want me.
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been together going on 4 years, we have a little 22 month old girl, who's our everything. But for the last year we've had problems arguing over little things, his family have always been on our case from day one and ...
A. 6 August 2016: Have you asked him ?
There could be a whole host of reasons that we couldn't guess at. Just sit him down, explain to him that you've noticed he's being really withdrawn lately and that you haven't been intimate for a long time and it's really s... (read in full...)
His ex girlfriend wants him back!
Q. I have been best friends with this guy Jimmy for 5 years,ever since we attended Marquette together. We just recently started sleeping together about 6 months ago because we were both lonely, and we agreed that we would never turn it into a relati...
A. 5 August 2016: I think you want more than FWB with Jimmy don't you ?
I think you need to start being honest with yourself and decide what you actually want to come out of this. If it's a relationship which to see sounds like the direction you want it to head ... (read in full...)
My ex has changed so much since our break up and it really disturbs me
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up a couple of months ago now due to the fact he didn't want a relationship. Since, we have occasionally met up and spend time together which we should not of.. As it only continued to hurt me, not bother him. He has ...
A. 3 August 2016: He's probably just enjoying his new found single life. I had a friend a few months back who broke up with his girlfriend and he was really cut up for about 2 months and I'd never seen him like that before in the whole time I've known him.
Fast ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to not like my boyfriend's very intrusive room mate?
Q. Did I overreact? My fiancé and I have seperate places. He has an apartment with roommates as do I. One of his roommates rubs me the wrong way. She's a girl. One time he invited me over to cook me dinner for a date indoors. As he was preparing our ...
A. 3 August 2016: No not at all, she sounds very inappropriate. It's good to see that your boyfriend puts her in her place because I've read lots of similar stories on here where the bf is too scared to say anything as they didn't want to ruffle any feathers.
It is... (read in full...)
Is it odd to contact him out of the blue
Q. HiGuys! I have this guy on my Snapchat and Instagram. We used to talk because we used to work near each other. We haven't spoken for over a year, but I would like to contact him again. He's a good guy and I think it is boyfriend material lol. How I ...
A. 3 August 2016: 'Hey .......,
Long time no speak, fancy grabbing a bite to eat sometime for a catch up ?'
Good luck ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my trust issues from a past breakup from ending my new relationship?
Q. I had a really bad break up with my ex, and I'm worried the damage it caused me will end in me sabotaging my new relationship. The relationship ended by my then boyfriend of 6 years bringing home a girl he managed at work. I found them curle...
A. 3 August 2016: I think you need to communicate with your boyfriend, tell him that you don't think he's up to no good, but let him know what your previous relationship has done to you and how it makes you think. Hopefully this will give him an insight into how ... (read in full...)
Why do I keep running into cheap dudes?
Q. Why do I keep running into men that are cheap,they always want something for nothing? I've ran into plenty of guys who want to use me for sex but then if I need something they won't have my back. Like why should I give u what u want but you can't ...
A. 2 August 2016: If you're giving up sex easily, most guys in this day and age will see that as a godsend. If you want to meet decent guys, you need to make sure they're a person that respects you and is willing to wait until you're ready to have sex and that they ... (read in full...)
I’ve been dating a guy my own age for 3 years, I find him cute but I just find older guys far more attractive!
Q. I find older men way more attractive than guys my own age! I'm in a relationship with a guy my own age (3 years and going pretty well) but though I find him pretty cute, I just find older guys far more attractive. And by older, I mean 10+ years. ...
A. 2 August 2016: It could work absolutely. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just your personal preference.
However, if you don't see a future with your boyfriend then you need to be upfront with him and let him know. Don't stay with him for the sake of it.... (read in full...)
How do I avoid coming on too strong with a guy I've just met?
Q. Hi, I recently fooled around with my friend's friend who I've just met. We got on really well and he seemed pretty comfortable the morning after. He mentioned giving me a call later in the week and then later that day sent me a text tell...
A. 2 August 2016: Yeah I'd give it a few days then ask if he would like to hang out. The only way you could come on too strong would be persistent messaging without knowing if he has an interest in you.
Ask him out and take it from there.
Good luck... (read in full...)
Is she just an attention seeker? A flirt? Where so I draw the line with her?
Q. Where do you draw the line when you're a very flirty person and like the attention? What I mean is my work colleague is a very flirty person, the touchy feeling type. But where do you draw the line without making the person your flirting with g...
A. 1 August 2016: If you like each other then ask her out.
I don't see what advice you need here...... (read in full...)
Help, I have a huge crush on my dentist and want to make a move!
Q. I'm a pretty shy girl and tend to avoid situations where there is a possibility of rejection, but I can't just ignore the one I'm in currently. My dentist retired about two years ago and two young men were hired into the practice. The first time I ...
A. 1 August 2016: Don't think about taking a job you don't really want over a guy. You would have to deal with that for the rest of the life over something that might not even come to fruition.
Just bite the bullet and ask the guy out the next time you see him,... (read in full...)
Should I rekindle this old affair?
Q. So this is a bit long winded. 6 years ago I met a man a work and we had immediate chemistry. However we are both married. On a night out, we made out. We started a flirtatious texting relationship. We never had sex, only kissing. We would text all ...
A. 1 August 2016: He doesn't want to be with you or else he would be. It's as simple as that, don't take people by what they say, take note of what they do.
If he wanted to be with you he would divorce his wife and commit to you, he wouldn't keep you shrouded... (read in full...)
Ignored at my best friends wedding and the year leading up to it.
Q. My friend of 20 years got married at the weekend. A year ago she got engaged and I was saddened that I read it on Facebook- she used to pick up the phone and tell me news visa versa. It has been a one sided friendship for many years- I'll invite her ...
A. 29 July 2016: She doesn't sound like a friend at all, sounds like a complete bitch to be fair ! If I were you I'd just move forward without her in my life, it will probably end up being a lot more positive.... (read in full...)
Major trust issues. I feel that if I like someone, that I'll get disappointed. How should I address these trust issues?
Q. Hi there. I am in my early 20s. I have this bad fear of men and a fear of liking someone, more of an attachment. Before, I'd thought that it was a phase that I was going through and I'll get it over with but nothing seems to change as I grew int...
A. 28 July 2016: I can empathise with you massively. I'm very pessimistic when it comes to the thought of relationships, I always feel as though I'll be hurt in some way and feel it's better to not let myself get into that situation with someone. Therefore ill ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has many female friends and I am jealous!
Q. I am extremely jealous when it comes to my boyfriend that it scares me! We don't live together but, I end up stalking him on social media. Seeing if he is liking other girls pictures on Instagram etc. He's French so, I end up translating every ...
A. 26 July 2016: You don't trust him at all, if you did you wouldn't be showing the behaviours that you do. Learning French to know what he's saying and stalking social media is NOT normal, not by a long shot.
He has too many friends? What? You can have as many ... (read in full...)
He wants to benefit from her success
Q. Hi, So my boyfriend has this female friend who is a lot younger than he is and has known her probably a couple of months before he met me.So this woman is trying to establish herself and is faring quite well and my boyfriend told me "I need to hang ...
A. 26 July 2016: Why on earth would her getting a promotion benefit him?
That's one of the lamest excuses I've ever heard and wouldn't believe it for a second.... (read in full...)
How do you look after and help the depressed love of your life?
Q. My partner of two and a half years is severely depressed and struggling with day to day things. Our relationship is on its last legs, we're holding on to memories through this difficult stage. He is irritable and angry all the time and takes it...
A. 26 July 2016: I think the chances of him overcoming depression by himself are close to zero. It sounds like you've already done a lot for him to try and help him, but if he refuses to seek the help that he needs then I think you're fighting a losing battle, it's ... (read in full...)
I'm hurt he doesn't want to get engaged! How do I sort this out?
Q. hi i recently seen a post about someones boyfriend will only get engaged cos she wants to i am in the same situation ive been with my boyfriend for 5 years now we have no children we went out for a meal last week with family and they asked us if we ...
A. 20 July 2016: Some people just don't buy into the whole marriage thing. I've heard my own friends say they never want to get married. It doesn't necessarily mean that they don't want a long term relationship, just that they don't feel the need to marry someone to ... (read in full...)
I can't put up with her issues any longer
Q. I have know my best friend for 11 years we are family, ever since she was diagnosed with depression she lies to me about everything, who she's with, where's she going. I can't trust her anymore, it makes me really upset because all I want to do is ...
A. 13 July 2016: I used to be best friends with a dude who was a compulsive liar, he used to tell me things I knew weren't true and when I'd call him out he would try and worm him way out every single time. It got to a point where I didn't know what to believe ... (read in full...)
I can't rely on friends. Should I accept the offer of a work colleague to take me home from hospital after my surgery?
Q. I have to have surgery soon, and will be going home that day, im told i need someone to take me home but i have noone? Its day surgery and i must be driven home Im all alone with no family or reliable friends, friends are busy and wont care ...
A. 12 July 2016: If she didn't want to do it, she wouldn't of offered. She has family that will be in and out of hospital so she will be used to it.
Take her up on the offer and thank her.... (read in full...)
We've broken up but keep seeing each other
Q. My ex broke up with me 3 months ago now as he didn't like being in a relationship. Ever since we have talked a lot and met up (mostly when drunk after nights out) and every time we are both out, there is always an issue when one of us get annoyed or ...
A. 12 July 2016: It happens, I've found myself in a similar situation in the past where it's very hard to stop seeing someone you care about even if it ends up just involving sex.
You need to think you yourself is it really worth it? You mentioned you don't th... (read in full...)
Guy I'm dating is leaving for an internship, Can you please help me make sense of what is happening?
Q. I'm dating a guy I feel very comfortable with, we both open up a lot and there is a lot of safety, good feels, and emotional connection. However, we both know its short-lived. He's leaving for a great internship and may not move back after his inte...
A. 12 July 2016: It's normal, you guys are having a good time together and I'm sure he's going to miss you as much as you're going to miss him.
It doesn't sound like he's giving you mixed signals, it sounds like he's providing a perfectly normal response to showi... (read in full...)
Should I disown her for rejecting my name?
Q. This may be an inappropriate question for this site but I am furious with my daughter. She is 29 and she has recently announced that she plans to get a legal name change, and I am boiling mad. I have a mind to disown her. Even though her mom and I ...
A. 11 July 2016: Seriously ? You're thinking about disowning your daughter over her name?
Think about it like this, she had a birth defect all her life that she hated and she didn't 'feel right' because of it but there was a form of surgery that could remove o... (read in full...)
My dad is pissed that I don't love my boyfriend anymore?
Q. Hello. So my boyfriend and I have a complicated on and off relationship. We have been together for four years. I invited him to my birthday party thinking that my dad still doesn't like him (my dad never said a word about liking him until last ...
A. 11 July 2016: You're going out with this dude, your father isn't.
Do whatever YOU need to do. Nobody else's feelings come into this decision besides your own.... (read in full...)
How do I give up someone I know is the one?
Q. First off, true love endures. It can withstand challenges, mishaps, and crisis. The important thing is, the one you believe to be the one, has to feel the same as you do; and be willing to struggle to keep it together as much as you want to. See,...
A. 10 July 2016: This was a good read that I feel I can relate to.
Thank you ... (read in full...)
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