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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Is it really wrong to pay for sex
Q. I have reading the many posts on dearcupid from men who are contemplating paying for sex. I see that most people are against it, like it is the lowest a guy can go. I am at the lowest point in my life now and it will only get worse. I have Marfan ...
A. 14 September 2016: Then what's stopping you? If you don't have much time left and you want to know what it feels like then go and do it.... (read in full...)
Please advise!!! What should I do about this situation with my girlfriend??
Q. Okay, so this is my first time posting any sort of question online. I've been on and off this site for years just browsing never thinking I would ever need to post anything on here, but here I am. So here's the issue, me and my girlfriend have bee...
A. 14 September 2016: She's definitely cheating man, sorry for you to have to find out this way. I'd make notes of all the evidence and keep pictures and stuff for proof and then confront her about it then kick her out of the house as she won't have a leg to stand on.... (read in full...)
Does he now not want to see me any more?
Q. I hooked up with this guy i have been meaning to hook up with months ago So i went to his place and things were going on but midway just before the intercourse i stopped and asked him to stop and just left quickly I haven't heard from him yet. ...
A. 14 September 2016: Doubtful,
He was probably wondering what the hell just happened and thought he did something wrong for you to leave In such a hurry.... (read in full...)
Confused about our relationship
Q. I needed advice on a situation I am in currently. I've known one of my friends for many years. Just under 2 years ago he told me he likes me more than a mate. The day he told me I told him I needed time and we'll see where it ends up as I wasn't ...
A. 13 September 2016: To be fair to the guy he told you more than once that he had feelings to you and you brushed it off.
He's moved on now so you can't hold any bad feelings to him as you never gave him the chance he wanted.... (read in full...)
Is it really wrong to pay for sex
Q. I have reading the many posts on dearcupid from men who are contemplating paying for sex. I see that most people are against it, like it is the lowest a guy can go. I am at the lowest point in my life now and it will only get worse. I have Marfan ...
A. 13 September 2016: If you want to do it mate there's nothing wrong with it at all. The sex will be meaningless as its not someone that you care about, but you want to know what it's like to have sex and that's one way to do it.
Why would people look down on you? You... (read in full...)
Should I stay at this workplace and ''prove'' myself or accept one of the offers I've received from other car dealerships? My manager here is difficult.
Q. I need help on a career decision.. Sounds bad right? Well I have been working for a car dealership for about 5 months now. They were looking for young people with little to no car sales experience. I had a lot of experience selling other pr...
A. 12 September 2016: I'd definitely look elsewhere if I were you, sounds like an absolute dead end.
Get another concrete offer first then hand your notice in.
Good luck... (read in full...)
I still like my ex but don't know if he feels the same
Q. Basically, I like my ex, but he likes someone else, who doesn't like him. And he always says that you'll always feel something for your ex's. But the thing is, me and him have dated a few times, and when we aren't talking I always want to talk to ...
A. 9 September 2016: If you know he likes someone else then you're just wasting your time. Cut contact with him and try to move on.... (read in full...)
Is she insecure controlling or both?! What do I do!!
Q. My girl friend doesn't know how to relax, everything bothers her. My friends claim she cries way to much and her friends claims she's bossy. I've stopped doing many things because she claims she doent like them and now I cannot respond to her claims ...
A. 9 September 2016: You need to have a conversation with her and tell her exactly what you've just told us.
A relationship isn't one person having watch over another person, so don't let her treat you in that manner.
Give her a chance to change after you've dis... (read in full...)
Could he just be a player?
Q. Dear Aunts, Ok long story short. A new guy not too long moved in the hood. He helps run a family business with his dad and bro. I am an active customer. So they are polite and never noticed me or give anything beyond the usual "Good morning/Go...
A. 9 September 2016: I think you're the one overplaying it tbh, he smiled at you and gave you a discount, maybe he's just being polite ?
If you think he likes you then why don't you ask and find out?... (read in full...)
I haven’t spoken to my boyfriend in 3 days! I need advice!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years. I am in a different state than him now in grad school. I went to see him last weekend and he complained about how broke he was the whole time (something that has been a peeve of mine the last 3 ...
A. 8 September 2016: I think you need to have a little ponder over whether this relationship is worth it. Your boyfriend sounds very selfish and a little childish in his actions.
You make an effort to save your money for activities whereas he's focused on going ou... (read in full...)
My Cheating Girlfriend.... What do I do?
Q. So here it. As I write this my girlfriend is at 35,000ft with the guy she has been cheating on me with on their way to Tenerife. I had been with my girlfriend for almost 7 years. For a couple of months now I had suspected she was cheating a...
A. 7 September 2016: Glad you're feeling better about it mate.
1 day at a time.... (read in full...)
Can my ex and I find our way back to each other?
Q. Me and my ex broke up now around 5 months ago and from then to now, it has not seemed to get any easier. We have repeatedly met up (sometimes when drunk), spoke, argued or whatever in this time and have not really gave each other a lot of space (in ...
A. 7 September 2016: Look, I know exactly how you feel I went through something very similar recently where I felt as though I had an unbelievable bond with a girl I'd been seeing on and off for two years. We were never official, but for the most part of it we were ... (read in full...)
Can my ex and I find our way back to each other?
Q. Me and my ex broke up now around 5 months ago and from then to now, it has not seemed to get any easier. We have repeatedly met up (sometimes when drunk), spoke, argued or whatever in this time and have not really gave each other a lot of space (in ...
A. 7 September 2016: "One day, whether you are 14, 28 or 65,
you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die.
However, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find––
is they are not always with whom we spend our lives."... (read in full...)
Are we still friends or is it over?
Q. I am friends with a female at work. we have fallen out a couple of times but have always made up. last week i sent her flowers at work in the hope of she would put me back on facebook as one of friends but it back fired on me and things seem to ...
A. 7 September 2016: Dude, you've posted about this about 5 times already.
Leave this girl alone, your behaviour is beyond creepy.... (read in full...)
What can I do? She can't bring herself to believe me, nor let it go.
Q. The relationship between me and my girlfriend of a little over a year has been pretty rough lately. We recently took a break that was originally supposed to be a month. It ended up only being a week. Anyway, during the break I bought some condoms,...
A. 7 September 2016: It doesn't make any sense. I've never heard of someone having a random impulse to buy condoms if they don't use them.
Sounds like you're trying to make light of the situation by just telling us you had no intention to use them so it makes her soun... (read in full...)
My fiance risked our relationship for one night of fun
Q. I am engaged to be married on the 24th. Last weekend my bf had his bachelor party weekend in New York . I couple of his buddies were egging him on to hook up with a random girl. They ended up inviting a group of girls back to their hotel were he ...
A. 7 September 2016: One his friends has a gf so he went to bed......but the person you're getting MARRIED to thought it was okay to get a blow job under some peer pressure.
Just let that sink in ... (read in full...)
Could this lead to more than a friendship? Do I talk to him about this?
Q. I need advice on a confusing situation I'm currently in. I have been friends with a guy for over a year and a half now. We hangout pretty often with our common group of friends as well as just the two of us (Theater, diner, movies at either of our...
A. 6 September 2016: You need to find out where it's going. Just ask him straight up.... (read in full...)
My Cheating Girlfriend.... What do I do?
Q. So here it. As I write this my girlfriend is at 35,000ft with the guy she has been cheating on me with on their way to Tenerife. I had been with my girlfriend for almost 7 years. For a couple of months now I had suspected she was cheating a...
A. 6 September 2016: That's an awful thought mate and I'm sorry to hear it.
You're already doing the right thing though in keeping yourself busy. It's not going to be easy by a long shot, but you're already on the path to recovery in your actions.
As honey pie ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my husband go down on me?
Q. Hello everyone! Thank you for your time reading this. I have a simple, yet extremely embarrassing question. I'm a "happily" married woman with two girls and 4 months pregnant. We live a moderate life,go to church and spend time with ou...
A. 6 September 2016: Ask him. Suck it up and find out why.... (read in full...)
Am I just the side chick? How can I go forward when he treats me as just a friend, never his GF?
Q. It has been a while that I have written on this. So, there is this guy I've known for the last three years of high school and we've kept contact streaming into the life of college. Throughout the years I 've known him since high school we've man...
A. 6 September 2016: In a nutshell, he likes having someone around that he can flirt with and have sex with when he's not in a relationship.
He values you as a friend and nothing more and it doesn't sound like it will be anything more than that.
He probably k... (read in full...)
How do we move forward? He never takes me on a normal date.
Q. I love my boyfriend, he is the guy that has been hitting on me for the past three yes so I finally accepted him. During those years we became friends so already he knows a bit more about me. We are four months in a relationship now all has been goi...
A. 6 September 2016: You've told him you're unhappy and given him the reason why. It's not an unreasonable request to want to be taken out by your boyfriend, so he either steps up and does as you ask or he continues to not satisfy this part of the relationship.
... (read in full...)
Should I end the weird FWB relationship I'm in?
Q. So I don't really know what to do. I'm to the point I'm just about to ghost and say enough is enough. I've got this weird Fwb relationship for roughly a year. 90% of the time, I'll know what to expect from her. The other 10% she just baffles me....
A. 6 September 2016: Honestly, you're better off just ending things. I know you won't want to, but there's no positive outcome that can come from this situation. Believe me.
I basically said in my situation that we are going to make things serious or end things. ... (read in full...)
Should I end the weird FWB relationship I'm in?
Q. So I don't really know what to do. I'm to the point I'm just about to ghost and say enough is enough. I've got this weird Fwb relationship for roughly a year. 90% of the time, I'll know what to expect from her. The other 10% she just baffles me....
A. 6 September 2016: It could be anxiety. I was in a very similar situation myself recently and the fact that I never knew what was coming next kept me hooked.
When I look back on it I realise it was super unhealthy and NOT even remotely close to what should keep you... (read in full...)
Should I end the weird FWB relationship I'm in?
Q. So I don't really know what to do. I'm to the point I'm just about to ghost and say enough is enough. I've got this weird Fwb relationship for roughly a year. 90% of the time, I'll know what to expect from her. The other 10% she just baffles me....
A. 5 September 2016: FWB very, very rarely progress into something serious. If you can't keep your feelings out of the equation then you're going to end up very hurt.
Stop this arrangement immediately as it seems your feelings are starting to take over.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to give me a rim job
Q. My boyfriend insists on giving me a rim job !! He has given me oral before but not a rim job. He says he loves my ass and wants to put his tongue in it. Can anyone else tell me about how this feels ?? ...
A. 5 September 2016: I've known some females to enjoy it and others to hate it. Some females don't like a guy going anywhere near that area.
The only thing you can do it give it a try and form your own opinion as everyone is different so some may say it feels nice and... (read in full...)
We argued. I sent apology. No reply. Do I give her more time alone?
Q. Been with my girlfriend for 4 years. After a major argument over the phone. Finished with her saying that she has had enough and then after the call she texted me to say "please don't come back here tonight". So for the last few days ive stayed a...
A. 4 September 2016: Leave her alone. The ball is in her court, you apologised and at the current time there's nothing else you can do.
If she wants to come back she will do, if she doesn't come back then you've hurt her badly. The worst thing to do right now though w... (read in full...)
Discouraged he won't deal with his premature ejaculation
Q. I have been with my partner for 9 months and I am in love with him but his issues with premature ejaculations is leaving me frustrated. He refuses to seek help claiming that he has always been like this (he is now 46). He gets hard and he has no ...
A. 2 September 2016: You need to let him know how you feel, just because you're compatible in other parts of the relationship doesn't always mean you're sexually compatible which is the case here and for a lot of people it can be a deal breaker.
... (read in full...)
I just found out that the LDR guy I'd been dating is married and has a kid. I've blocked him but should I give him a chance to explain?
Q. Dear Cupid, I found out yesterday that the guy I’m with is married and has a child. I blocked him in wechat and whatsapp. It was such a disastrous feeling with I saw his Facebook of his wife and the child’s photos and not forgetting his we...
A. 2 September 2016: No.... (read in full...)
Ex and I are getting back but how can I get him to forget that I was talking to other guys while we were broken up?
Q. My ex and I are getting back together after being 2 months apart. I am so happy and have always been in love with him, and he feels the same way. Unfortunately, though he can't seem to forget the time we broke up and I started talking to other dudes ...
A. 2 September 2016: It wasn't wrong at all. How can speaking to someone new to get over an ex be wrong?
If we're using that logic then it's wrong to get a new relationship after your first one fails lol
He needs to man up or as honeypie said he will probably en... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has an adultfriendfinder account?
Q. A while ago I caught my long term boyfriend on a transgender dating website, messaging and making plans to meet up with transgender women and men. He was also responding to Craigslist ads and sending them pictures of his private parts. His profile ...
A. 30 August 2016: About 99% sure he's lying.
Does he send you these nude images ? If not, why does he have them in the first place ? And how has he coincidentally had photos AND payment details stolen that have been put onto this website?
Not to mention somehow ... (read in full...)
My ex and I broke up why is he doing this?
Q. My ex and i just broke up i left he sent me pic of woman with engagement ring on why i don't know then he texts me again say hes coming to my house to get something he left he has a lot of nerve why is he doing this...
A. 30 August 2016: He's trying to make you jealous and mess with your head. Block the guy ... (read in full...)
Are my fears reasonable? I don't want to sabotage the relationship, nor invest emotion and time if he doesn't want what I want.
Q. I met a guy online, we text back and forth everyday, though sometimes it takes hours for him to text back, most of the time he apologizes other times he answers as though nothing happened. We have video chatted quite a few times and each session ...
A. 29 August 2016: How far is the distance ?
How much time will you guys actually be able to spend together if you become official ? Doesn't sound like a great deal if it's a plane journey away. You need to be realistic.
If you think you're wasting your tim... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was supposed to accompany me to the health centre, but we had an argument beforehand and I had to go alone. Was he being selfish?
Q. Do you think this was selfish?. My boyfriend and I have been having problems for a while. Lately, his phone has been switched off more, or I have called his phone, and he hasn't answered. He agreed to meet me at my home on Friday to go to a health ...
A. 28 August 2016: Just leave him be for the time being. I know you're hurting and upset, but if you keep trying to message him you're very likely to push him away further.
As for the doctors appointment do you have any family that can accompany you ? This is the m... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has time for his family and friends, but not for me and our daughter. How do I stop feeling like a single parent in this relationship?
Q. Hiya everyone I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. He is 29 I am 30 the problem is he never spends any time with me. We live together and have a 1 yr old daughter but everytime we plan [something] he can never be bothered going or his ...
A. 28 August 2016: If you're stuck in the same cycle of raising it with him then things temporarily change and then go back to the way they are then it may be time to break things off.
We all hope that a loved one will change their ways if there is a problem,... (read in full...)
How do I tell my new friend I'm in the middle of a divorce without scaring him away?
Q. I left my abusive, adulterous husband 4 months ago.Emotionally, I divorced him years ago, but he stole every penny I made to keep me trapped. It took a long time to get away. I have been struggling to get back on my feet since I left, but the past ...
A. 28 August 2016: It may scare him away, it may not. You said the right thing to do is to tell him so just go ahead and do that.
Next time you're hanging out just say something along the lines of 'look, I have something to tell you.......' And mention that you were... (read in full...)
I've made most of the effort in our relationship, but after six years together I feel like I'm losing him anyway. How do I deal with this?
Q. Dear all, I've been with my bf for almost six years and I have the feeling that I am slowly losing him. I feel resentment when I think about how our lives together are right now. The first problem that causes my resentment is money. He ...
A. 28 August 2016: If you can't have a sensible conversation with him about how you feel then how are you going to change anything ?
You may not like confrontation but you've really got no other option if you want the situation to improve. You need to give him an u... (read in full...)
Is my fiancee is ruining my chances of having a family?
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship for three years and engaged for one year. We live an hour and a half drive away so I commute to see him every weekend. My problem is I am tired of waiting for him to set a wedding date. I am going to be...
A. 28 August 2016: Don't stick with him for the sake of it because you feel it's too late to meet someone else. That's wasting your time just as much as starting over again with someone new.
If he's not going to commit to you when you that's what you want out of l... (read in full...)
I want to feel loved and wanted. what hope is there when he's so critical and gives me the "silent treatment"?
Q. My partner of 4 years has started not talking to me for days on end if we argue no matter how petty it is. He tells me daily he doesn't trust me, if anyone smiles or is nice to me he says it's because I have looked at them and this is disrespe...
A. 28 August 2016: Can I ask what exactly you want to save about this relationship ?
Excuse my French but this guy sounds like an absolute nob head. I've not seen a single positive in the whole question, therefore I'm struggling to see a reason why you would wa... (read in full...)
What compels him to still be asking about me considering we broke up so long ago?
Q. I'm just wondering what compels an ex-boyfriend to ask an immediate family member "how you are" almost 16 years after you broke up? I am led to believe that said ex asked specifically about me, and his current partner was present when he asked. ...
A. 27 August 2016: Probably because that's how he knows the family member ? I really wouldn't read too much into it.... (read in full...)
Never had a date. Should I pay someone to go on a date with me?
Q. I've never been on a date before, and I've never had a girlfriend. Of course that means I've never been intimate (never had first kiss or sex). I'm very awkward and I'm not very attractive aesthetically. So far no woman has been interested in go...
A. 27 August 2016: No, because that isn't a date. That's paying someone to meaninglessly hang out with you for a few hours.
Join clubs where you could meet and share interests with other people or try online dating.... (read in full...)
Would this be a good way to lose my virginity? How would I ask?
Q. Is this a good way to lose my viginity? My friends gave me advice for this: have him go down on me until i orgasm, and then we have sex and he gets off and I possibly get off more. I love the idea, but I've never had a guy go down on me either. ...
A. 27 August 2016: There's not point having sex with someone just for the sake of it just to lose your virginity because you're probably going to regret it afterwards.
Just wait until you feel the time is right and with someone you want to lose it to. It's not a ga... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is insisting I sell my house
Q. I'm a women in her late 40's and my boyfriend of 5 years is in his mid 50's. Both of us have been married 2x's and we both have children in teen's and early 20's. I own my home and he lives in a family member's extra home in a different city. He ...
A. 27 August 2016: For his age that's extremely childish and I can't believe he's even making an issue out of it.
Tell him to stop being so stupid and you won't even consider selling something that you're so proud of earning yourself.... (read in full...)
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