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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Help! My ex is dating again, and I still love her!
Q. Help! My ex is going out with another guy only a few months after she broke up with me! We were together a year and a half, and I can't believe she's already moved on! The break up hit me really hard initially, and now this has made things even...
A. 20 December 2007: I think you will always make those connections. But, one day you won't put as much meaning into them as you do now.
At first, I used to get rid of everything that would remind me of a person, in order to forget her more easily. It didn't r... (read in full...)
I want to trust him when he says he is not a porn addict but should I?
Q. We went from normal to sex rarely only when I initiate it. I questioned everything but yesterday I opened his computer and found tons of porn saved. He claims he's been saving that for years. It's all categorized by year, name, subject matter: ...
A. 19 December 2007: No, don't believe him. You have proof he is lying. Maybe he is not addicted, but he obviously has a lot of interest in porn.
However, it seems his addiction to porn didn't affect your relationship until recently. There has to be a reason f... (read in full...)
My husband cheated and I don't enjoy sex, I can't even pretend. I'm a mess, how do I move on?
Q. My husband was the only man I knew sexually, we have been married 18 years I found out December 15, 2006 he was having an affair everything came out March/2007 I totally shut down, I had a terrible life growing up this was the one person I truly ...
A. 19 December 2007: Lost trust is very difficult to restore, particularly when the person fails you big time. Your feelings and your problems are only understandable.
I read between the lines and found you may be wondering where you failed for him to sleep with thi... (read in full...)
I can't stand my husband's female co-worker!
Q. My question is I can't stand my husband's female co-worker! I met her at his christmas party and from the moment I met her I did not get a good vibe from her. I consider myself good looking but she is 20 years old, very gorgeous and has a body that ...
A. 19 December 2007: Birdy's is an excellent way to "strike first". I think I see in her advice the recommendation of what you should do to PREVENT anything from happening. It's a good option for you and I suppose it would work.
However, what has led you to think yo... (read in full...)
My new girlfriend has had more sexual partners than me and I worry I'm not good enough
Q. Hi,i have just started going out with someone a year older than me, who has had a few more sexual partners than me and i get real worried that i am not good enough. i haven't made her cum yet, but she tells me that she doesn't often and it is hard ...
A. 19 December 2007: If I were you, I would see this as an opportunity. I would follow starfairy's and Baby Duck's advice, and would set myself to the task of pleasing her. Let's suppose -and I'm not saying it- that you're indeed a lousy lover: what would be better ... (read in full...)
Is it normal that a man can ejaculate without his penis being hard?
Q. Is it normal that a man can ejaculate without his penis being hard? My b/f lately has been having problems getting and keeping it up, and so we did it doggy style the last few nights, and it wasn't even up, it was still limp, so it was hard to get ...
A. 18 December 2007: I believe this man has some psychological issues to solve. You can see he can get stimulation, and he obviously enjoys sex with you. It's not that anything is the matter with you. Maybe he's too nervous. He does need to adress this, but, it's ... (read in full...)
I got this text from my ex and I am confused
Q. Ive got a dilemma (man! woman are funny creatures) ive been crazy about my ex for ages and finally mastered up the courage to tell her, she was shocked and said she's sleep on it. she then text me this morning want to know how i should approach...
A. 18 December 2007: Do it, baffledd: it's for the best. It doesn't seem so now, but, it will. When you see clearly again, you will see to what great extent it's for the best.
You won't be bothering her, and you have a new beginning.... (read in full...)
His ex wants him back
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 2 months. He broke up with his ex girlfriend 7 months ago. But I found out they slept with each other a month before we got together. He said they were out with mutual friends, both very drunk, she pounced and 'too...
A. 18 December 2007: I disagree a bit with anon_e_mouse. You have no reason to talk to the ex. The one you should talk to is your boyfriend. He is the one who should make it very clear that he doesn't want anything at all with her. There will always be people coming ... (read in full...)
I got this text from my ex and I am confused
Q. Ive got a dilemma (man! woman are funny creatures) ive been crazy about my ex for ages and finally mastered up the courage to tell her, she was shocked and said she's sleep on it. she then text me this morning want to know how i should approach...
A. 18 December 2007: I understand your feeling confused. Love makes us blind, or at the very least gives us blurred vision. But, she was very clear: she doesn't want you in her life. Accept it, and leave.... (read in full...)
My friend is a user and I don't know what to do about her
Q. What am I going to do about my mean friend? I have a friend who I have known for almost 30 years. I manage with her meanness because everything else about her is so good. My partner is not the sort who can easily forgive this sort of stuff ...
A. 18 December 2007: People who behave in this manner know full well what they are doing, and they won't stop just if you ask. If they did, they would lose the advantages they are extracting from you. They will go on and on until you make them stop.
Don't say a wo... (read in full...)
His ex wants him back
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 2 months. He broke up with his ex girlfriend 7 months ago. But I found out they slept with each other a month before we got together. He said they were out with mutual friends, both very drunk, she pounced and 'too...
A. 18 December 2007: She is trying to get him back and he is not exactly resisting. Maybe he isn't encouraging it, either, but I believe that he should have told her to stop by now, because he needs to respect you. Also, no person should get involved with anyone else ... (read in full...)
How do I get her to admit she likes me?
Q. there is a girl in my class and i like her and its pretty obvious that she likes me. i need to know how to make her admit she likes me, she's a tough one to crack. what do you think? ...
A. 18 December 2007: Careful, young man: Never assume that a girl likes you. Make sure she does before you say a word. What is "pretty obvious" for you might not have crossed the girl's mind. Bear this in mind forever and you will spare yourself a hell of a lot of ... (read in full...)
Do I have nice boobs?
Q. I have 30G/32G boobs i have slight stretch marks that are pretty visible as I have very pale ivory skin do i have "nice boobs" or not because I feel ashamed of them? pls help...
A. 17 December 2007: I also understand that a doctor can correct stretch marks. So don't worry about them.
Rather than give you an opinion, I would like to address the needs I see behind your question. You seem to be worried about your body. Everyone goes through ... (read in full...)
He never finds the time to have sex with me. Please help me make sense of this situation
Q. My husband cuddles with me and says that it's true intimacy, and that he is closer to me than to all those women he dated and had sex with. He has a history of having hot sex with unavailable women. Either she was a horny unhappily married wife or ...
A. 17 December 2007: It seems to me that your husband has some distorted views on sexuality. It's always difficult to use the word "distorted" when giving an opinion about someone else, let alone someone I have never even seen, but, I think that is the right word in ... (read in full...)
Help! My ex is dating again, and I still love her!
Q. Help! My ex is going out with another guy only a few months after she broke up with me! We were together a year and a half, and I can't believe she's already moved on! The break up hit me really hard initially, and now this has made things even...
A. 17 December 2007: I think everyone can understand your pain and what you're going through. I have found that precisely that understanding is what can help you.
It is difficult to accept that someone we love does not love us anymore. But, that's reality, and it m... (read in full...)
He says I need "someone on my own level". What does this mean?
Q. What does it mean when a guy says you need someone on your own level and that should be just mates? please help i really like this guy but thats what he said to me,when i asked him out?...
A. 17 December 2007: The truth behind his words is, he doesn't want to be with you. Now, he was not responsible enough to say it in a way you would understand clearly.
If he said that, let him be. You will find someone else. Don't agonize over it.... (read in full...)
My friend nearly made out with me until I asked him to stop. What was he thinking?
Q. Hi I moved to a new city one year ago and my former flatmate from my old one visited me last weekend. While the weekend was fun, it got kinda weird on Saturday night. We were watching TV and my friend sort of started touching me. We nearly made out...
A. 17 December 2007: Unimprovable advice from Richard. Listen to him.... (read in full...)
I like a Canadian girl but I'm afraid she'll reject me because I'm not Canadian.
Q. I want to ask a girl out, but I'm afraid of something. She's popular, not too popular but not a noname. This might seem stupid but, i'm afraid she'll reject me because i'm not Canadian. Shes Canadian, and was born here etc. I was born in Ukraine and ...
A. 16 December 2007: Like the girls have said, I don't think that will be a problem.
That said, don't assume she will like you, or she feels as you do. What the girls have said is "that's not an issue"; they never said "you'll make it". Be very careful about th... (read in full...)
Do Men like it when Women make the first move?
Q. This is a question for the men on the site. I like someones who's doing work on my house at the moment. Do men like it when woman make the first move...or ask for your number? He's back on tuesday and i want to do something about it then....
A. 15 December 2007: I can only speak for myself:
YES.... (read in full...)
Was I wrong - or was it him?
Q. Ok, I'm going to try and have this be the last question I post because I'm getting a little out of hand with posting questions on here. Anyway, I need reassurace like always because I have a lot of self doubt now that I broke up with my ex fiance ...
A. 15 December 2007: Anyone can see the fight wasn't over the shampoo. I can see very much deeper reasons. I wonder why a man who is well off won't cover the expenses of his FIANCÉE who just moved in from that far to be with him. This points to a very bad ... (read in full...)
I hurt someone I love so much...what should I do??
Q. My ex-girlfriend and i were broken up this summer. this was our 3rd break up in 1.5 yrs. We decided to get back together before the summer ended. When we officially got back together, i went to Europe just after and had kissed 2 girls in that ...
A. 12 December 2007: To me, the first step is to accept that you hurt her. She didn't do anything to deserve that, and you did it. It's your fault, with no extenuating circumstances. After that, apologize to her.
And then, use this feeling of guilt you have to ... (read in full...)
I keep getting flashbacks of seeing him in bed with his ex. How do I avoid being driven crazy?
Q. I can't stop thinking about how my husband had sex with his ex... I am in much pain when I see my husband's kids because of the flashback that I have seeing him with his ex in bed making these kids! Horrible thought, but it's true. We've married ...
A. 11 December 2007: I think you should follow the anonymous poster's excellent advice. I fully agree with her.... (read in full...)
To men: what makes you find a woman you've met, "sexy" ?
Q. Bottom line serious question to the men: In real life, what makes you find a woman you've met "sexy"? ...
A. 9 December 2007: I think Kenny made a hell of a point here. "one mans meat is another mans poison". There will be many answers as to what makes a woman sexy.
Maybe you misunderstood Uncle Phil when he spoke about the blondes. He means that he likes the attitude... (read in full...)
My ex seems to expect me to simply be her friend after all the hurt she's caused me... But her Father died today. Now I have the chance to be a friend, but I'm worried that I may hurt myself. What can I do?
Q. Hi everyone, I posted a question earlier today, but there has been a serious and tragic twist since this morning. My girlfriend broke up with me almost 6 months ago after she decided our long distance (240 miles) relationship was too much to bear...
A. 9 December 2007: Andy00, as is often the case, I'm with birdynumnums. I also think that this is NOT a chance for you to put all your pain behind. Simply, this is the time to offer her comfort and support. THAT'S IT.
It doesn't seem right that you bring your fee... (read in full...)
I found sexually explicit messages on my young brother's phone. Do I tell my parents, or talk to him firstly?
Q. I recently found some sexually explicit messages on my younger brothers phone not only from him by a number of girls some even younger than him. I am really worried about his emotional and physical state as he has been really agressive lately. Is ...
A. 9 December 2007: Questions: If it had been him who found sexually explicit messages on your phone, would you like it if he told your parents?
I wonder how it was that you found those messages. I suppose the phone is his, and whatever he has there is his own busi... (read in full...)
To boys: are you afraid of being turned down by a very pretty girl, therefore prefer someone "in your league" ?
Q. Guys please help me. Is it true that some guys are scared of being knocked down by a very pretty girl and that you go for someone who is slightly more in your 'league' ?? I have friends who are told they are pretty the whole time and are not s...
A. 9 December 2007: I think the reasoning is a little more complex. Very pretty girls know they are very pretty, and they are used to seeing guys drooling over them. Some of us will not think with our brains when in the proximity of such a hot girl, and, therefore, ... (read in full...)
Am I staying with him because I'm afraid to move on.
Q. hi everyone, please can you give me some much needed advice im 32 years old married with 3 young children. i met my husband 14 years ago weve been married for 10 years. i fell for my husband because he was a good looking guy and played hard to get ...
A. 9 December 2007: I very much agree with Baby Duck and dearkelja. This post of mine won't add a new perspective, but you'll know that, out of six posts, 3 (50%) suggest that you think carefully whether the marriage can be saved.... (read in full...)
My ex's mixed signals are driving me insane.
Q. Basically my ex broke up with me 3 months ago. We were together for 2 years and i'd been madly in love with her for a year before we got together, when we finally did everything was amazing and she was in love with me just as much as i was with ...
A. 8 December 2007: I think I can relate to your situation.
When someone, man or woman, isn't sure about what s/he is feeling, then you need to think that this person has just as many chances of leaving you as s/he has of dumping you. This is your situatio... (read in full...)
To men: what makes you find a woman you've met, "sexy" ?
Q. Bottom line serious question to the men: In real life, what makes you find a woman you've met "sexy"? ...
A. 8 December 2007: Ooops! I didn't mean "polite", but "smart".... (read in full...)
To men: what makes you find a woman you've met, "sexy" ?
Q. Bottom line serious question to the men: In real life, what makes you find a woman you've met "sexy"? ...
A. 7 December 2007: I suppose this question doesn't have to do with the physical feature most men find very, very appealing, which I won't mention.
Other than that, surely it's the attitude that matters. A very well-built woman won't be sexy if she's grumpy, ... (read in full...)
How will I know when he's ready for a relationship? Should I tell him how I'm feeling... AGAIN?
Q. Five months ago, I fell in love with a good friend of mine. [We were friends through high school, reunited after 5 years and have kept in contact for the past year.] I expressed my feelings for him however, he told me that he wasn't ready for a ...
A. 7 December 2007: Dear JadeX, I have the feeling that this boy wasn't that honest with you the first time. What he really meant with that line was that he does appreciate you as a friend, but doesnt' want a relationship with you. Very probably he already has a ... (read in full...)
Should I give him his space?
Q. i have a problem with my mans friends they are disrespectful to me and my man but he lets them talk do that to him, so i got angry and went home when now i ask him to let us talk about the issue he doesnt want to talk after me calling every day and ...
A. 7 December 2007: Again, I'm with Baby Duck. Good words.... (read in full...)
I'm not happy about my marriage but I can't seem to end it...
Q. I am not happy in my marriage, but i keep letting my husband come back because he keeps asking me over and over if i want a divorce and i tell him yes and then the next day he asks me the same question. It's like i cant end it, last night i laid a...
A. 7 December 2007: Richard and Baby Duck have said it all.... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my fear of rejection?
Q. dear cupid i seem to have a major problem in asking girls out and cant seem to get myself to. i seem to have this fear of not being good looking (chek out myspace n tell me you think myspace.com/mohamed1991, but plz dnt post nothing ther if ...
A. 7 December 2007: When you fancy someone, that person might either fancy you or not. If the person doesn't fancy you, you get rejected. If she does fancy you, you don't. It's as simple as that. If you want to get the rose, you need to accept the thorns, too.
... (read in full...)
I made him choose between me and the dog and he picked the dog.
Q. My husband and i recently separated, mainly because i gave him an ultimatum, me or the dog. He did choose the dogs. I miss him desperately and would consider going back, but he says that no one is more or less important to him than his dogs. I sai...
A. 7 December 2007: Again, I agree with Baby Duck. I don't think this man really chose his dog over you. I think this is just his way to dump you.... (read in full...)
I feel like he is too old for me. Please advise.
Q. I am going out with this man right after my divorce. He is 18 years older than me. I feel wanted and loved which make me feel really good. Two months on I start to feel he is too old for me. He's got false teeth, dozes off on the sofa during the ...
A. 7 December 2007: I agree with Baby Duck. It seems that this man gave you the attention and support you needed after your divorce, but it doesn't seem like you're compatible. And, rightly so. You are in very different stages of life. This feelings that you are ... (read in full...)
I left my guy of 7 years
Q. My boyfriend of 7 years chatted to women on chat pages, joined a sex chat site and looked at porn.I found out cus i snooped. I left him. Moved back to mums,gave my car up, the lot. Several months later, he promised to try and put things r...
A. 6 December 2007: Poster, I don't think there is any reason for any of us to judge you or treat you harshly. Instead, I have to commend you on doing the right thing and being brave.
You love him, he doesn't. Instead of putting a facade, you ended it. You love... (read in full...)
I'm feeling insecure about my looks. Can you help?
Q. I am feeling so ugly right now. All my life i wanted pretty fetures. i have nice ears... great... but i have a HUGE nose and nostrils and a horrble double chin.. ok tripple chin..... i feel so ugly.. even though many think im not.. and sometime...
A. 6 December 2007: This may not be the answer you want to hear, but I hope it will help you.
A girlfriend of mine used to have a crush on Jean-Claude van Damme. Of course I don't look like him at all. I understood I had to stop worrying about not being the best... (read in full...)
Are there men who don't "Look"?
Q. I have been dating the same guy for three years (we've broken up a few small times for very short periods of time, but none recently). The main problem I have with him is that he tells me he does not look at the opposite sex "like that". meaning, he ...
A. 6 December 2007: I wonder if there is a person, male or female, who has never looked at someone else even though s/he has a stable and perfectly working relationship. Looking is hard wired into humans. It's common wisdom that women tend to look less, or less ... (read in full...)
He looks at local woman on match.com, can I trust him?
Q. I need advice. My boyfriend of 2 years has recently been caught checking out match.com. When I found out I asked him about it and told him how it made me feel. His response at first was to deny it and then admited that he did but only to see if he ...
A. 6 December 2007: I agree with Missmel34 again: "for all you know, he's already cheated". Brilliant line.
I only differ with her in one point: I wouldn't join myspace or whatever. I would simply dump the person.
Take care.... (read in full...)
Should I give up on him?
Q. Right, so I thought everything was going really really well with this guy, I let my guard down and I fell in love with him. I felt that he felt the same way about me too, he used to say things like that all the time. But recently, he has been ...
A. 6 December 2007: I see that you don't mention that you two had a relationship. I assume you fell in love with him, you thought he liked you too, but then you found he isn't responding as you expected.
My advice would be that you should follow your head and keep... (read in full...)
I'm a member of the clergy and I'm gay. How can I find a gay relationship and be cautious, at the same time?
Q. i am a mmember of the clergy..must be very discreet..not a pedophile but gay..want to have gay relationships with guys of legal age..but must be very very careful..i got burned once when a guy used me to get hush money..i only saw him once..it was ...
A. 6 December 2007: I'm with Uncle Phil.... (read in full...)
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