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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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I had a miscarriage and my boyfriend is devestated. How can I make it up to him?
Q. I really love my boy-friend, and this situation is killing me. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year. One night, about a month ago, it was our eleven month anniversary, we ended up getting really drunk, and did the nasty =]. When this ...
A. 26 November 2008: He loves you but he believes you had an abortion, not a miscarriage. Or, at the very least, he thinks that the miscarriage was "your fault". I think you have done the right thing in telling him that "I'm sorry" gets old over time, but, anyways, if ... (read in full...)
My stupid ape-looking boobs
Q. Well me and my boyfriend have been getting pretty far in our relationship, sexually wise. On our last make-out session, we both took off our shirts. He wanted to take off my bra. I told him no because I'm not altogether comfortable with the way my ...
A. 13 November 2008: I'm with Double M. I will also add that what looks "ape" to you might look "great" to another person.... (read in full...)
Does a low sperm count mean he can't have kids?
Q. if a guy is told he has low sperm count does that mean he can't have kids full stop or does it mean that there are ways that he can but not naturally?...
A. 13 November 2008: I agree with Eyes. Also, I didn't mean to call you sick. I honestly think I never called you that.... (read in full...)
How to deal with a family member who is undergoing surgery and treatment for breast cancer.
Q. Hi, this isn't a dating or love question, this is a question about how to deal with a family member who is undergoing surgery and treatment for breast cancer. I just want to make sure that I'm dealing with her and helping in the best possible way. ...
A. 12 November 2008: First of all, I commend you on your decision to be there for her and do what's best for her on a conscious manner. I guess that this decision of yours is perhaps the greatest thing you can do for her. You will be there, in health or in sickness. ... (read in full...)
Does a low sperm count mean he can't have kids?
Q. if a guy is told he has low sperm count does that mean he can't have kids full stop or does it mean that there are ways that he can but not naturally?...
A. 12 November 2008: Yes, you should use contraception if you intend to sleep with this guy, oligospermia or no oligospermia. I have a question, just for myself (or yourself). How come a man about your age worries about being oligospermic? What made him go after the... (read in full...)
Does a low sperm count mean he can't have kids?
Q. if a guy is told he has low sperm count does that mean he can't have kids full stop or does it mean that there are ways that he can but not naturally?...
A. 12 November 2008: That is called oligospermia. It does make it harder to have children. However, I know the case of a man who was oligospermic, didn't use contraception, and guess what? The son must be like 20 by now.... (read in full...)
Should I come clean and tell her how old I really am?
Q. Alright so I'm looking for a bit of advice here. I'm 18, and the other night I got a fake ID and went to a bar, where I met a girl there who was 23. She asked me how old I was, so I said 19 because I didn't want to look like the one underaged ja...
A. 12 November 2008: Yes, and tell her why.... (read in full...)
My wife wants a boob job... why does she think I don't find her attractive
Q. My wife wants a boob job because she doesn't think I don't find her attractive not sure where she got that idea. I told she doesn't need one and being a drama queen. I admit do look at other women and I do flirt with other women at work (she caught ...
A. 10 November 2008: Well, because you look at other boobs and flirt with other women :-).... (read in full...)
My parents don't want us getting married because he doesn't make enough money!
Q. My partner and I are wanting to get married and he wants to propose to me very soon but my parents are not too happy. They believe that he does not have the earning power/finances to properly support me. They are not objecting to anything other ...
A. 10 November 2008: It's not right for parents to mess with the decisions of two thirty year olds. Not only in the sense of the person being old enough, but also in the sense that the time comes when you need to take your own chances.
When parents make this sort of ... (read in full...)
What do you do with a woman who still has feelings for you, but dumped you for another man?
Q. A little over a month ago, a recent friend of mine began coming on to me and I accepted her advances. By coming on, I mean we started making out at a couple of parties and started flirting heavily through texting. After a few days, we defined our ...
A. 10 November 2008: I think you're not asking the right question. If I were you, I would ask myself "Do I want to be with a woman who is seeing someone else and asks me for "breaks" to go back to him?"
The woman you describe is playing both of you. The older mi... (read in full...)
Get together with this older woman and risk breaking my ex girlfriend's heart?
Q. I went away in May with my girlfriend and her Dad. I'm 18 and so is my girlfriend. Her Dad invited a 42 year old friend and her son and she brought along a 31 year old friend and her two kids. The friend with two kids is very attractive and talked ...
A. 10 November 2008: Your ex-girlfriend was right in being jealous. I bet this 31-year old looks and is great. You noticed that, and, women being women, your ex noticed you had noticed way before you blinked your eyes. It is not by chance that, after you broke up ... (read in full...)
Should I come clean and tell her how old I really am?
Q. Alright so I'm looking for a bit of advice here. I'm 18, and the other night I got a fake ID and went to a bar, where I met a girl there who was 23. She asked me how old I was, so I said 19 because I didn't want to look like the one underaged ja...
A. 10 November 2008: Women can see through you. You're here, thinking that you got away with telling her you were one year older, and chances are she's still smiling about how you added one -yep, one whole, 365-day long- year to your age, you sweet tender little thing. ... (read in full...)
Is he gay? Or is it something else? I'm ready to give up!!!!!
Q. I've been dating this guy for a few months now. Everytime we shedule a date something happens and we have to cancel. I'm beginning to think that maybe he's gay and he's just going through the motions of dating me but doesn't really want to do ...
A. 10 November 2008: Sorry: I think you should give up. He always seems to find that other people or other things are more important than you. You're not the whole world, but you deserve attention, too.
You're wrong: he doesn't make dates for times when he won't... (read in full...)
I had a miscarriage and my boyfriend is devestated. How can I make it up to him?
Q. I really love my boy-friend, and this situation is killing me. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year. One night, about a month ago, it was our eleven month anniversary, we ended up getting really drunk, and did the nasty =]. When this ...
A. 10 November 2008: I'm sorry about the miscarriage. But, dear poster, you don't owe him anything. You can't control whether you will miscarry. It often happens to women who are going to have their first child. So, why should you make it up to him?
It would be... (read in full...)
What in the world does this mean?
Q. Can you explain this to me? What does this mean, " I do really love you but I don't like you "? Please reply and thank you !!!...
A. 10 November 2008: This means "I won't be with you but I need a way to b.s.-it so you won't notice".... (read in full...)
I'm fat, right?
Q. Hey, I'm 16 years old. I'm 6 ft tall and weigh 98 kilograms. I'm F A T, right?...
A. 10 November 2008: And then, if you're fat, what's the problem? If you don't like it, work out and eat less. If you don't care about it (which is a healthy thing), just keep enjoying the chips and junk food.... (read in full...)
How can I move some of the workload onto myself during sex?
Q. So this boy and I have recently started having sex. Now, previously we were both virgins, and therefore are ultimately inexperienced. What we've found out so far is the best way for us is missionary - however, this results in me lying there and him ...
A. 10 November 2008: First, I commend you on your interest :-).
Second, you're asking for advice on how to make the missionary position more enjoyable for you. That is OK, but I think you should go beyond that, and try every other position until you find the ones you... (read in full...)
How do I get my Mother-in-law to butt out ?
Q. My name is Sarah, my husband and I been married for 4 years and we have beautiful 3 year old son. my marriage is in jeopardy right now b/c I was having a sexual relationship with another man for the past few months, I felt something was wrong in my ...
A. 9 November 2008: I believe that your mother-in-law is a serious problem, but not the most serious of them all. The worst problem is the fact that you need to rebuild the relationship. Her nagging won't help, and I bet she will make it very difficult for both your ... (read in full...)
Does the fact I can't stop thinking about my "anal experience" mean I'm gay?
Q. Dear Cupid I am a man in my fifties and I had sex with a few women which I enjoyed a lot but I would love to receive anal. Sex with a male friend of mine we tried it before but it was not a sucess but I can't stop thinking about it does this mea...
A. 9 November 2008: If you liked the fact that a man penetrated you by the anus, then I think you're bisexual. Maybe homosexual.... (read in full...)
My husband slept with my friend's wife after our big argument and I've just found out!
Q. Hi, this is the first time I've been on a forum and I would appreciate advice on my problem. I'm sorry this is quite long. I have been married for 13 months and was with my husband for two years before we married and gave birth to twins a few m...
A. 9 November 2008: I think I can't answer whether he deserves another chance. I do need to say that, in my opinion, his sleeping with the friend's wife is just the sign of a much more serious problem.
I don't think he could just go out and sleep with your friend's... (read in full...)
She is 19 and I am 57. I think she wants to go out with me. Is this wrong ?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid; I'am a sigle man with no attachments. About 2 months ago a young lady at the job would say hi every morning in a very appealing sexy kind Away, well in the begining I didn't put to much mind to it, she continue with her sexy hello and ...
A. 9 November 2008: Personally, I wouldn't go for her. You two are in very different stages of life. At your age, you know this wouldn't work. It's always nice to feel that young flesh can be yours, but that's about it.
We don't know what is on her mind. Maybe it... (read in full...)
Anal sex question!
Q. Hi, I had anal sex for the first time with my boyfriend, we didn't use a condom and I heard you're more likely to catch infections this way, is that true? Also I noticed I was bleeding a little bit after, is this normal? Thanx x...
A. 9 November 2008: That blood means you got serious injuries in your anus. That is not normal. Since now you have an open wound, you're likely to catch infections. Anal sex also makes it more likely to get AIDS.
Are you not the person who posted a question... (read in full...)
9 years together and he still hasn't proposed!
Q. We've been together for 9 years now and have an 18 month old son. We are financially secure and have a fairly good relationship and even though we've discussed marriage he hasn't proposed? Should I just give up on the idea or keep dropping subtle ...
A. 9 November 2008: I think you shouldn't drop "subtle" hints. I think hints are a very bad idea. If the person doesn't get them, it's as if you were winking in the dark: only you know what you're doing. If the person gets them, but is smart enough to pretend s/he ... (read in full...)
What would REALLY put guys off a girl?
Q. A quick question, just out of interest :) Guys, what would really put you off a girl? ...
A. 9 November 2008: I was going to say "nagging, whining, dramatizing, lying, pouting", but I guess that having a hidden agenda she won't discuss with you is at the top of the list.... (read in full...)
Do I go after girls my own age or girls the same age as I look?
Q. I'm 24 years old but I look like I'm 15. Never had a serious relationship. My question is, who am I supposed to be targeting as a potential partner here? Girls my own age aren't interested because I look like a kid. Girls who are my age but ...
A. 8 November 2008: When you're 40, you'll be glad you look younger than your age.... (read in full...)
Do I go after girls my own age or girls the same age as I look?
Q. I'm 24 years old but I look like I'm 15. Never had a serious relationship. My question is, who am I supposed to be targeting as a potential partner here? Girls my own age aren't interested because I look like a kid. Girls who are my age but ...
A. 7 November 2008: I'm with Sirena here. I don't think it's your looks that should matter, or what really keeps you from dating. You looked fifteen when you were fifteen, I assume, and, from your post, it looks you didn't date then, either.
If you act like a s... (read in full...)
Does withdrawal, along with the pill, improve my odds of not getting pregnant compared to the pill on it's own?
Q. Odd birth control question here. Does withdrawal, along with the pill, improve my odds of not getting pregnant compared to the pill on it's own? I went on the pill so we wouldn't have to use condoms anymore, which I absolutely hate. The problem is, ...
A. 7 November 2008: Maybe there is a difference, but it would be difficult to quantify. Mother Nature likes to play games on people, so I assume that, if you were to end up pregnant, it would find its way no matter what.
However, I would assume that the pill sho... (read in full...)
Forming a relationship with a church-going lady?
Q. Susan(32) is a woman I met last year (September 2007) and we went out for a couple of weeks in Early to mid June. The dating started when a mutual friend suggested I ask Susan out as Susan had told her she found me attractive. We dated a coup...
A. 7 November 2008: Suppose this thing meant she wants you to convert to her religion, or else you won't date. Will you convert? I would not. You see, converting means that you believe in what that religion holds as true. "All right, I'll repeat your prayers if I ... (read in full...)
Pleeeeease say he isn't gay!!!
Q. dear people, I need help - me and by boyfriend have been going out for 5 years, I never used to wonder if he was gay until recently, I mean he has a friend who acts so strange and seeing them both together makes me wonder what kind of relationship ...
A. 6 November 2008: I guess you're in the same situation you were before. We still can't tell for sure.... (read in full...)
Forming a relationship with a church-going lady?
Q. Susan(32) is a woman I met last year (September 2007) and we went out for a couple of weeks in Early to mid June. The dating started when a mutual friend suggested I ask Susan out as Susan had told her she found me attractive. We dated a coup...
A. 5 November 2008: You're right: if she were interested, she would have made an effort to be with you on that day. Or, at least, she would have suggested something.
So, she's not interested. Sorry. The good aspect of this is, now that you know it, you can act ... (read in full...)
I am fourteen, and I masturbate every day, is this normal?
Q. Hi im 14 years old and i masturbate everyday. I was wondering if its normal. For some reason im always dreaming and thinking on watching my classmates naked. Is this normal?...
A. 5 November 2008: I avoid the word "normal" regarding sex. I just will say this happens with many guys.... (read in full...)
I want to have sex with him because I know he's leaving in 8 months.
Q. I am 14 years old dating a foreign exchange student who will be leaving in 8 months. We've been only dating exactly a month and I want to have sex with him because I know hes leaving and I need to fast forward... I know it's too soon and I'm too ...
A. 4 November 2008: My dear poster, you make me feel like a teen-ager again. Once, many years ago, I felt what you felt. She was leaving, and would never return. I tried to get every drop of juice life would give me when I was with her, and, after she left, I clung ... (read in full...)
Will it get bigger or has it stopped growing?
Q. I have a little below average penis and I'm 17, will it get any bigger or stay like this....
A. 3 November 2008: Well, in that case, let me tell you that you can't get another inch of it. It's more productive to learn how to use it well.... (read in full...)
Why does it hurt me so much that he's not a virgin?
Q. Hi i'm 18 and am in a wonderful relationship. Don't get me wrong I love him, I really do, but he's not a vigin and I am. I know it shouldn't bother me so much but it does and I don't know why. He knows I want to wait to have sex untill I get married ...
A. 3 November 2008: Just accept that NOT being a virgin is not the end of the world, and move on to other interests.... (read in full...)
My penis is aroused every morning, is that normal?
Q. Hi. I am 22 year old guy. Every morning when i wake up my penis is erected and really hard. I am a virgin and i masturbate quite often. (daily or once every two days). I masturbate to pornography. I think i dream too much about the pornography,...
A. 2 November 2008: I'm suspecting a little joke here. I had never found a twenty-five year old man who didn't know that such a thing happens every morning.
This part, you might not know: it happens because we get erections at night during our sleep. You just hap... (read in full...)
I need as many answers as soon as possible please!
Q. Do you know what std's causes a person's skin to look yellow or darker? Also what std's cause a heartburn like feeling with stomach pain and also bleeding after periods? What about red spots that appear on the face but don't stay that long?...
A. 2 November 2008: I'm not sure this is a STD. It does sound like you have a serious disease, however. The "yellow skin" suggests jaundice, which can be due to hepatitis (which is also a STD). Go see a doctor now!... (read in full...)
Porn in relationships? Healthy or not?
Q. I just wanna get your feedback on how you feel about Porn in relationships. tell me as much as you can please! answers from both sexs is appreciated!i feel as if him watching porn is affecting my sex drive with him and im not wanting to have as much ...
A. 2 November 2008: If you review the site, you will find that most women are against porn, for several reasons. Some don't care. What's important, I believe is how you feel about it. You don't like it and you don't feel it's ruining your relationship. Have you ... (read in full...)
I'm not LIVING my life, I'm just putting up with it.
Q. I am at this site because I am truly at the end of my rope. This has gone on for so long that something has got to give, or I am literally going to go crazy. I badly need someone who will try to help me with advice and not judge me. My proble...
A. 2 November 2008: I was wondering whether I should add my two cents here, or through a private message, since Sirena is a friend. I guess it's best here, as it could be of benefit for other people who might be in a similar situation. The rest we can discuss ... (read in full...)
Will it get bigger or has it stopped growing?
Q. I have a little below average penis and I'm 17, will it get any bigger or stay like this....
A. 1 November 2008: Fade said many sensible things. Size might matter or not, depending on how you use your penis or what your girl's and your feelings are about size, but there's one more thing to say.
I suppose you mean that your "size", as you give it here, is... (read in full...)
If a person cuts class is it consider as a felony, crime, academic misconduct, or behavior misconduct?
Q. If a person cuts class is it consider as a felony, crime, academic misconduct, or behavior misconduct? Could a cut be cleared and erased? Will this go on my permanent record? I really don't want this on my permanent record. I cutted class only once ...
A. 1 November 2008: I don't know what would happen in the US. Here, you would be responsible only before the school's authorities, who, fortunately, can't impose any legal penalties on you.
In other words, it wouldn't be such a big deal.... (read in full...)
Porn distresses me!
Q. Hey, I have a question, mainly for the ladies, but anyone who can help me is welcome to answer. In short, I have a huge problem with porn. It distresses me, I constantly allow it to make me feel insecure, inadequate, ugly, unsexy, you na...
A. 1 November 2008: As to your question, poster, I, a lover of simple things, believe that all you need to do is understand that porn shouldn't be something to worry about.
Just to give you an example, there are magazines and ads of much muscular men, and I can swea... (read in full...)
Does he really have to spend so much time with his kids and exwife ?
Q. I have a problem with my boyfriend spending time with his exwife when seeing his children. I don't care how much time he spends with his children. He is lucky to be able to see them at least 3 times a week. Today he went trick or treating with ...
A. 1 November 2008: I guess it will always be difficult to say whether he is "too close to his ex" and where he is only "always there for his children", since mother and children live in the same place. Of course, if his activities only involved his children, then ... (read in full...)
Porn distresses me!
Q. Hey, I have a question, mainly for the ladies, but anyone who can help me is welcome to answer. In short, I have a huge problem with porn. It distresses me, I constantly allow it to make me feel insecure, inadequate, ugly, unsexy, you na...
A. 1 November 2008: Also, if we judge by your new avatar, you look great, Fade.... (read in full...)
Forming a relationship with a church-going lady?
Q. Susan(32) is a woman I met last year (September 2007) and we went out for a couple of weeks in Early to mid June. The dating started when a mutual friend suggested I ask Susan out as Susan had told her she found me attractive. We dated a coup...
A. 18 October 2008: Good question. I don't think religion is the real problem here. My guess is that she didn't feel the relationship was good enough in the beginning, and now she would like to have one BUT if you agree to (put whatever you want here). Her church is ... (read in full...)
Pleeeeease say he isn't gay!!!
Q. dear people, I need help - me and by boyfriend have been going out for 5 years, I never used to wonder if he was gay until recently, I mean he has a friend who acts so strange and seeing them both together makes me wonder what kind of relationship ...
A. 15 October 2008: First, don't rush to conclusions.
I don't think I could give you an opinion with this little information. However, I suppose you saw more than what you were able to describe to us. Maybe if you elaborate a little we will help you better? ... (read in full...)
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