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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Are there really guys who would stop watching porn if it really was a problem for me?
Q. I was wondering. It seems the general consensus on this website is that women who have problems with porn are insecure and that all men watch it and it's not fair to them to ask them to stop. However, I was wondering if it's fair in my case to ask. ...
A. 21 May 2010: I'm sorry to say this, but I feel kind of disappointed to know that this was a hypothetical question and that you enjoy porn, too. Now it seems to me like the whole thing can be understood as your feeling insecure about him. Yes, the man has eyes ... (read in full...)
Help: My marriage is in trouble!
Q. So I guess I will give a brief description of our relationship. My wife and I were mutual friends before we started dating in 2004. She was 19 and I was 21. She had a 13 month old boy that I immediately bonded with. We were crazy in love, l...
A. 17 May 2010: I'm sorry to say that I see no hopes here. Do the best you can.... (read in full...)
I don't think I can be just friends with her. Should I end it?
Q. I met this girl about 18-20 months ago when I started my new school to do my A-levels. I'm 18 years old, and so is she. About a month in, I decided to stand up and dance to Michael Jackson's Thriller in front of half the sixth form (like, 150 ...
A. 16 May 2010: I see you understand how things will happen. But this is about keeping your distance from her, right? There's no hopes. And what you need to drill into your mind is that you won't be with her.... (read in full...)
What's holding me back?
Q. Hey people i need your advice. I dont understand myself. Its been awhile since i broke up with my ex boyfriend but i do find it so hard to start dating again. So many men have approached me but idont know whats holding me to do so. Am confused cause ...
A. 16 May 2010: I think I could speculate a lot and still wouldn't know the answer. But we all have been there. I do know that at some point you need to convince yourself that there's love out there and you could have it if you allowed yourself to.... (read in full...)
Should I see if the other guy can satisfy me?
Q. I`ve had three lovers in my life and the biggest of the three was my ex hubby just at 5inches and 5inches in girth before my bf now witch is almost 4inches long and 4.5 around. I noticed the difference the first time he put it in and I was let ...
A. 16 May 2010: I don't know if you should try the other guy. It's your business. I will tell you something, just as food for thought, supposing this isn't a fake post: What if I decided to try another girl, not my girlfriend, just because someone told me she's ... (read in full...)
I don't think I can be just friends with her. Should I end it?
Q. I met this girl about 18-20 months ago when I started my new school to do my A-levels. I'm 18 years old, and so is she. About a month in, I decided to stand up and dance to Michael Jackson's Thriller in front of half the sixth form (like, 150 ...
A. 16 May 2010: A week seems like a lot now, but think of it this way: "I've already spent a week without her. Well, that means I can spend another week without her". And, once you reach the two weeks, you can think that you can go four weeks. And so on. One ... (read in full...)
He won't introduce me to his child -- how long should I wait?
Q. I met this man on-line we met up and hooked up. We've been seeing each other for 9 months. About 5 months ago I told him that I wanted to be more than hook up buddies. Since that time we've gotten closer he's even met one of my children. One ...
A. 16 May 2010: With the new information, I agree with C. Grant. The problem is not whether the child and you will be friends, or whether you mind the child being friends with other girlfriends. See it from his point of view: does he really want his child to ... (read in full...)
Can't look at each other during sex
Q. hey guys my boyfriend and i hav been together for 4 years when we have sex we dont look at eachother ever!!! he took my verginity.. we do hav great sex.. when hes on top of me or going down on me the pillow goes over my face. when i...
A. 16 May 2010: I don't know if this helps, but looking at each other shouldn't be terribly complicated. There is nothing to be ashamed of. And then it's curious that both of you feel this way. It's not just that the girl is shy and won't look at him in the eye. ... (read in full...)
Help: My marriage is in trouble!
Q. So I guess I will give a brief description of our relationship. My wife and I were mutual friends before we started dating in 2004. She was 19 and I was 21. She had a 13 month old boy that I immediately bonded with. We were crazy in love, l...
A. 16 May 2010: Supporting the children is not optional, not just legally, but morally. Your wife could hate you but you've been a father to her kid with another man and your kid with her, and these two children are innocent of whatever happened. So, that's not ... (read in full...)
He won't introduce me to his child -- how long should I wait?
Q. I met this man on-line we met up and hooked up. We've been seeing each other for 9 months. About 5 months ago I told him that I wanted to be more than hook up buddies. Since that time we've gotten closer he's even met one of my children. One ...
A. 16 May 2010: Is the relationship going well? If it is, then give him some time. But if it is, then maybe he should agree to your meeting his child. Makes me think...
Did he give you an explanation why he wouldn't want you to meet his child? Maybe this is ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that he asked about open relationships?
Q. My boyfriend just recently approached me about open relationships.. asking what i thought of them and if i would ever be in one. This kind of bothers me seeing as i feel we are growing apart. i told him i didn't like the idea and thought they were ...
A. 16 May 2010: He's suggesting that you have an "open relationship", meaning he will sleep with others in full knowledge you won't sleep with others. Yes, you should be concerned.... (read in full...)
Are there really guys who would stop watching porn if it really was a problem for me?
Q. I was wondering. It seems the general consensus on this website is that women who have problems with porn are insecure and that all men watch it and it's not fair to them to ask them to stop. However, I was wondering if it's fair in my case to ask. ...
A. 16 May 2010: There are guys who would give it up for you because they would care about you, dearest.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you those guys were bastards.... (read in full...)
Husband hasn't touched me in over 7 years..is he gay?
Q. Dont realy where to start.Well i am married.Im in a sexless marriage.My husband sleeps, on the couch.I sleep in a bedroom.He hasnt touched or looked at me in over 7 years.I been hearing hubby likes men better or his gay or bi.I havent cheatted on ...
A. 16 May 2010: His not touching you does not necessarily mean he has no interest in the female sex. But there's a huge problem here. HUGE as in HUMONGOUS. You should talk to him and see what the matter is, but I'm pessimistic about it. Whatever it is, it is ... (read in full...)
Regrets for letting someone go?
Q. This is a general question to all the males in the audience: Have you ever regretted breaking up with a girlfriend because at the time you didn't feel it for her, got bored, or wasn't ready for commitment, even though she was sweet, caring an...
A. 16 May 2010: Everyone has regretted not going for someone because it didn't look like she was the right person and you missed her great qualities.
Usually you can't do anything about it because time has gone by and she has a different life. Sometime... (read in full...)
I'm 22, still a virgin, never had a boyfriend yet. Is that a turnoff for guys?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a 22 year old girl. For some reason, I'm a virgin and I haven't even had a boyfriend yet. I'm not ugly; I do commercial modeling (not the big stuff though), and I do get hit on. My problem is that guys usually go too fast for me....
A. 16 May 2010: No, no and no.... (read in full...)
My wife tells me I have a porn addiction
Q. how do i stop porn addiction? i have alot more sexual desire than my wife and it got to where i felt horable for asking for it all the time. I eventualy turned to porn magazine and it created more problems than i thought it would. she said i have ...
A. 16 May 2010: I can't say whether you're addicted to porn. But, if it created more problems than you thought it would, maybe you could drop it.
Then you need to find a happy medium with your wife.... (read in full...)
I don't think I can be just friends with her. Should I end it?
Q. I met this girl about 18-20 months ago when I started my new school to do my A-levels. I'm 18 years old, and so is she. About a month in, I decided to stand up and dance to Michael Jackson's Thriller in front of half the sixth form (like, 150 ...
A. 16 May 2010: All you need to do is make yourself unavailable for some time. You'll be doing the right thing, for her and for you.... (read in full...)
Religious conflicts...
Q. Hey guys I could some real answer plz. First I was a Hindu when I 1st meet my husband he were also Hindu, about a year later he said that he wanted to become a muslim because he found peace their... so I help him all the way and now he is in the ...
A. 15 May 2010: I say your religion, or lack of it, is your business and not your husband's. Or anybody else's, for that matter.... (read in full...)
Why did he blow me off?
Q. I asked him out and he said that he wanted to go out with me maybe next weekend. He said that he wanted to go on a real date with me maybe on a Friday or Saturday and that he would see me tomorrow at lunch. I sent him a txt a couple hours later. He ...
A. 15 May 2010: Thanks for the background information.
I'm sorry to say I don't know what happened. I would think, however, that I wouldn't expect J to have any problem dating you. You have to get started to a good start and ask him to be upfront.
Maybe h... (read in full...)
I am worried about the shape and size of my penis, and whether it will cause problems in my marriage
Q. i am 21 year old and due to muslim cast my mom and dad forcing me to get marry and i am also agree but problem is that i have curved shape penis and it is too small and too weak and thin. i am afraid of breaking relation about this topic ...
A. 14 May 2010: Have fun! You're normal.... (read in full...)
I think I am ready to lose my virginity, but is this a wise decision?
Q. I am currently overseas and undergoing a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend who is back in my own country. I will be returning to my country in 3 months time and I was considering should I give my virginity to him then as I guess I am ...
A. 14 May 2010: You're from Singapore, so you could be muslim. If you're a muslim, I strongly recommend that you do NOT do that.
If you're not a muslim, I also strongly recommend that you do not do that. How strong is your relationship? Can't you two wait, sa... (read in full...)
Is it safe to have sex during periods without using a condom?
Q. hi is it safe to have sex during periods without using a condoms...
A. 14 May 2010: I think you understand "safe" to mean "not conducive to pregnancy". It does not mean "not likely to give you a sexually transmitted disease".
And, since Mother Nature likes to play jokes on us, I would keep a condom handy anyways.... (read in full...)
How did he get over me so quickly?!
Q. hey there :) me and my ex boyfriend were on and off for about 2 years.the good times were the best of my life, but the bad wer the worst, and i think that he would say the same. Last time we split, which is 3 months ago and by far the longest we h...
A. 14 May 2010: My speculation is that he felt the off-and-on thing was just too much and so he understood he should put it behind him as quick as possible.
I recommend you do the same.... (read in full...)
I am a virgin, should I forget this non-virgin girl?
Q. Hello, I'm 22 and from a Greek Orthodox Christian background. I'm still a virgin, not because it has been drummed into me that it is a sin to sleep around but because I choose to respect women and the fact that I only want to make love to a woman ...
A. 14 May 2010: Can I have that non-virgin in your stead?
With all due respect to your religion, I don't think there's anything wrong with her. I was a Catholic once and I know for a fact that your church and mine are very close in faith and practice. So I thi... (read in full...)
Why did he blow me off?
Q. I asked him out and he said that he wanted to go out with me maybe next weekend. He said that he wanted to go on a real date with me maybe on a Friday or Saturday and that he would see me tomorrow at lunch. I sent him a txt a couple hours later. He ...
A. 14 May 2010: Could you give us any background?... (read in full...)
Are there any ways to get rid of excess skin after losing weight?
Q. I'm 5' feet tall, I recently lost weight ( and continue to do so in a healthy way) I went from 170 to 150 in four months, eating healthy food and going to gym, since January of this year. I am wondering if I will need surgery to remove any fat ...
A. 14 May 2010: I'm sorry to say that, in my modest knowledge, you should NOT lose weight too fast precisely to avoid this problem.... (read in full...)
Do affairs ever lead to successful marriages?
Q. Where to start? I want to ask this differently than others have. Have you had an affair and it worked out? I'm single and have never been married. I teach at a university and had an affair with a student, and it lasted long after class was over and ...
A. 13 May 2010: When I read your post I put on my other glasses and I think I detected something. Maybe the woman is in love, and maybe she is indeed working to leave the husband, but that does not necessarily mean she will be with you if the circumstances are not ... (read in full...)
I’m hurt, saddened, angry, betrayed, confused. What do I do now?
Q. My wife and I have been happily (or so I thought) married 3 years. I’m a good husband to her, I love her with all my heart, treat her well and always look after her (her words previously). Major area I am lacking in at the moment is finances as ...
A. 13 May 2010: I'm pessimistic about this. Sorry. Try to get a job and leave. In my humble opinion, there's nothing left to do.
It's been only three years that you've been together and you've been "good", but there is a deep problem if she is having an affai... (read in full...)
What is considered small?
Q. Hey well i have alot of ?'s sorry bout it bein long, i turned 15 on march 13th. My bra size is a B cup most the time. But some times i fit into a C cup depanding on what type and where i get it. Does this seem small? Every one always says it d...
A. 13 May 2010: You're OK, and I'm sure they will get bigger, so don't worry.... (read in full...)
Meeting online companion, AND his whole family?!
Q. I badly need advise before I materialize my plans. I met this guy exactly 5 months ago online as a way of coping up with a break-up. Anyway, he is younger than me by 7 years and at first we were just chatting out of boredom, I didn't even care...
A. 13 May 2010: Xearo is right.... (read in full...)
How can I let him down gently and keep our friendship?
Q. i've been told i'm a bit of a flirt aat times and although at times i can control it, sometimes it becomes something i sub-consciously do. It's affected the way i make friends, talking in general, male friends. When i was younger i was a major ...
A. 12 May 2010: We're clear about what he wants, and now we have to talk about what you want, which is unrealistic. You can't have the friendship. He can't separate his feelings of friendship from his feelings of love, so you have to be careful not to send any ... (read in full...)
Is this guy a creep I should avoid?
Q. A few years ago, I started working for a local buisness. I immediately fell in love with the job. The people I work with are so fun to be around and I enjoy going to work everyday. I'm 19 years old. There is an older 25 year old guy who also works ...
A. 12 May 2010: If he works where you are, and you enjoy the job, then you'll have to see him. But you can reduce him to the status of coworker.
Maybe he's not a creep but he obviously wants to use you.... (read in full...)
I don't mind helping someone get on their feet, but I don't want to be taken for a fool.
Q. I have started seeing a man 22 and i'm 43. It started well but he asks me for five or ten dollars here or there and i pay for our dates since i have a full time job and his is part time. He is looking for a full time job also to get a car and we ...
A. 12 May 2010: Soon, you need to get yourself some glasses pretty soon. No offense meant.
Poster, think of him as dead weight you're dropping.... (read in full...)
Will I regret moving for more opportunity?
Q. I always thought I'd go to college, move to a city, establish myself, go to graduate school, meet somebody along the way, and eventually we'd move to a suburb together and settle down. But I moved in with my parent (due to the economy) in a su...
A. 12 May 2010: I'm afraid only you can decide what to do. You could stay where you are, or move to the city, and both would be perfectly valid options for your own life. If you should fail in any road you choose, that won't mean the other road would have been ... (read in full...)
How does one work closely with an ex-bf? Is it possible in the workplace?
Q. I work with my boyfriend of over a year. We sit very close in the office. If we decide to break up, is it possible to handle this like 2 mature adults and not let it affect our jobs? I would like to hear from others who have worked with their SO ...
A. 11 May 2010: I agree with Anonymous NF.
And then sometimes necessity makes you find a way to cope with everyone.... (read in full...)
I couldn't be bothered to have sex with him anymore, will he cheat?
Q. hi i'm laura and i'm in an interracial relationship with my Fiancée for 7 years he still find me sexy but i can't be bother to have sex with him much now , at first we used too be at it like sex craved teenagers the slightest touch would turn me ...
A. 11 May 2010: I would call this a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don't give him any, he will find some. I was under the idea that you were giving him a lot of what he wanted back when you were like two sex-craved teenagers... et cetera.... (read in full...)
She sees it as a one night stand, I thought we were going somewhere?
Q. Theres a Girl i like who ive gone pretty far with in the bed room but she only see it as a one night stand i thought that it was going some where and i dunno what to do if i just leave it or try and make it go some where . she say she likes me but ...
A. 11 May 2010: If it is she who sees it as a one-night stand, then I am sure as hell that's all it is, if not less. You can't make it go anywhere because that would take two and you only have yourself.... (read in full...)
He cheated! Will I always be suspicious of him?
Q. Has anyone known of couples who have faced infidelity in their marriage and worked it out? My husband and I have been married for 9 years (together for 16) and he has had a 3 1/2 year affair. We have 2 children together, ages 6 and 4. Is it ...
A. 11 May 2010: We all do stupid things sometimes, and forgiving is a nice thing to do, but sometimes the people whose trust we betray can't trust us anymore, and that's not their fault but ours. Our betrayal shows an aspect of ourselves that the other person ... (read in full...)
Love my boyfriend but no sex makes me want to move on
Q. my boyfriend and i are having problems i guess you could say. we have been together for a year and a half now. we only have sex about twice a month. his first excuse was that he never wanted to cause im too pushy about it but now he says he has a ...
A. 11 May 2010: You should tell your boyfriend that "It's not you, it's me" isn't working anymore because the question you want to know is what the matter is with him; that is to say, you already know it's HIM, not you, as you're willing to have close encounters ... (read in full...)
How can we come to a decision on where to live?
Q. My boyfriend and I met in Costa Rica 4 years ago. I"m from the California and he is from Australia. We have lived in Costa Rica ever since. I go back to California about twice a year to visit. I have always struggled with being so far from my ...
A. 11 May 2010: This is a decision only you can make. As Caring Guy said, it is clear that he is not moving. You can either stay with him or leave.... (read in full...)
I didn't get a card for my birthday and now, the GF is upset at me??!
Q. It was bothering me that my GF didn't get me a card for my birthday(2 days later). She noticed that something was on my mind and asked me. I asked her if she got me anything for my birthday and she told me she "didn't know what to get me" (so I got ...
A. 10 May 2010: I think you should put this behind you, and let her sort her own feelings out. I have the feeling that someone somewhere is blowing this out of proportion.... (read in full...)
This will be the last night I'll probably ever see him, should I tell my ex how I feel?
Q. From my part, it was the greatest love of my life.From the minute i set eyes on him.. [ i was 14], i love him. Now eighteen, four years later, my feelings havnt gone away. We've been broken up for three years, but we always someone how find ...
A. 10 May 2010: Tell him how you feel and see if he wants to be with you. If he cares about you, he will find the way to stay in touch. And so will you.... (read in full...)
He sees me only for casual sex and I care about him a lot! How do I deal with this?
Q. I feel so lonely... I have great friends,I am surrounded by great people but I feel so low. I found out the guy I was seeing only sees me as someone for casual sex, and I know for a fact that he is sleeping around. There are 2 other guys who I...
A. 10 May 2010: Sometimes we love somebody and that somebody doesn't love us the same way. We need to accept that and move on. Otherwise, you just extend your agony.
I also wouldn't recommend that you let anyone use you for casual sex. You deserve a lot more... (read in full...)
Changing his passwords on his accounts--says its "his business not mine"
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together a year, living together for 6 months. Last week he changed his hotmail and facebook passwords out of no where. He says its his business and none of mine. Why the sudden change? Should I be worried something is ...
A. 10 May 2010: If he used to give you free access to his accounts, and then you did "one little thing" here and "another teeny tiny little thing" there, then, as Red Green 0289 says, maybe he got upset over those "little" things and decided he would not give you ... (read in full...)
I don't mind helping someone get on their feet, but I don't want to be taken for a fool.
Q. I have started seeing a man 22 and i'm 43. It started well but he asks me for five or ten dollars here or there and i pay for our dates since i have a full time job and his is part time. He is looking for a full time job also to get a car and we ...
A. 9 May 2010: Sorry, but he seems to be using you.... (read in full...)
Meeting online companion, AND his whole family?!
Q. I badly need advise before I materialize my plans. I met this guy exactly 5 months ago online as a way of coping up with a break-up. Anyway, he is younger than me by 7 years and at first we were just chatting out of boredom, I didn't even care...
A. 9 May 2010: Why do you think he wants to take advantage of you? Can't he be a simple, somewhat disoriented fellow who fell for you?... (read in full...)
Meeting online companion, AND his whole family?!
Q. I badly need advise before I materialize my plans. I met this guy exactly 5 months ago online as a way of coping up with a break-up. Anyway, he is younger than me by 7 years and at first we were just chatting out of boredom, I didn't even care...
A. 8 May 2010: Sounds like this guy is 18 at most. I'm not sure if you could really make it, but it has happened. I know of a famous song about a couple who made it precisely this way.
Sorry to bounce the question back to you, but I believe you should be think... (read in full...)
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