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Would my ex FWB consider a relationship with me now?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Friends, Friends with Benefits<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 April 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 April 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm pretty good friends with my ex fwb. We were fwb for about 18 months but we've been just friends for the last year. I had a boyfriend which is the reason the benefits ended, but we stayed in touch.

This friend has always been really helpful towards me, and even more so recently. Please note I do not have a boyfriend anymore.

I just recently bought my first house and this friend has helped me out loads. He has helped me with some decorating, he has bought me a few small moving in gifts, he got me a little souvenir when he went away abroad, we have been out for a couple of meals, one where he took the bill, and the other one I paid a little bit towards it. He has also given me lots of advice and help whilst I was trying to get my mortgage as I ran into numerous problems. He has offered to put my furniture together at my new place when it arrives.

I'm just wondering, and hoping, that he may like me more than a friend, and just a fwb. The time I've got to know him I realise how alike we are and the views we share are very similar.

We have the occasional flirty joke, but more recently he has really helped me with my new place. He is also buying a second house which he is going to rent, so we are both decorating our places. He got his keys a few days after me, but up until then he had been helping me with mine.

I have already decided I do not want fwb with him, and I will not accept it if he puts it on the table.

From his actions does it seem like he would consider a relationship with me? FYI I think I know why we never dated before, my life was a bit messy, but the transformation that I have made happen over the last 2-3 years has been significant. And he's seen it happen and we've kept in touch.

If I was to suggest dating what is the best way for him to consider?

View related questions: flirt, my ex

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (30 April 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntI guy who believes that he HAS a "FWB" girl-friend... will do most ANYTHING to keep alive (or: ressurrect) the dream that he KNOWS that that girl has... that he will BECOME her "real" boyfriend.... All the while KNOWING that she will do WHATEVER he wishes to - desperately - try to reel him in.

YOU are probably in a "can't win" situation.... BUT, I invite you to give it a shot... provided that you go in with your eyes WIDE OPEN to what he's doing, how he's treating you, and IF there is any evidence that he really WANTS a relationship beyond "FWB."

P.S. You might even ASK HIM, some time....

Good luck...

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada + , writes (30 April 2015):

janniepeg agony auntSo when you had your last boyfriend was your life still messy? If your friend were to ask you, why didn't you consider him as a boyfriend what would you say? Why couldn't you have dated him instead and transform your life with him at the same time?

It's important to answer this because he needs to know that he is special to you, not just because he comes in handy and you just happen to be single.

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