A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is not a relationship question but I am curious.My daughters first birthday is next month and we plan on keeping it simple inviting family and a few close family friends. Now I know usually people buy clothes or toys for gifts and I'm wondering would it be rude of me to just ask for gift cards? I say this because my daughter has plenty of clothes and she really has no use for toys as she doesn't even play with any of the ones she have now. With a gift card we could always purchase clothes in the future as far as the season changes. Everyone keeps asking what they should bring and I don't want to be rude and tell them what they should do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 June 2012):
 IF they ASK it's one thing to tell them... but to REQUEST it is wrong.
Assume that you can return for store credit anything you are given and go from there.
Heck I was told it's rude to say NO GIFTS please on an invitation to an open house as it's the guest prerogative to bring a gift if they want or not and saying NO GIFTS please means you expect a gift when none should be expected.
OY.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 June 2012):
 If anyone ask, I think it's OK to say, maybe a gift card to so-so store.
Honestly, she is turning 1. She will not want to sit and open a bunch of presents, usually at that age they are happy with just a couple.
I would however NOT suggest it to people unless they ask and if they seem to think a gift card is "wrong" I would suggest they look at clothes in bigger seizes or that kind of stuff.
We were recently invited to a wedding and it stated on the invitation that ALL they wanted was cash (so they can afford this wedding).. And I found it utterly tacky. Seems like they are only inviting people to pay for it..
It shouldn't be about the gifts /money it should be a celebration of life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2012): That's could be an issue for some people. If it's your family, then it's different, but friends could be a little confusion. For kids birthdays people ussualy don't spend much money, it's a little something, some toy or piece of clothes, but with a gift card they really need to put the amount, and some people would feel pressured to give more than they originally thought.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2012): "Everyone keeps asking what they should bring and I don't want to be rude and tell them what they should do."
It's not really rude if they're asking you what they should bring for you to tell them what you'd prefer hehe. Besides gift cards is so much easier to get and think of.
My cousin's child was one a few months back and she asked people to bring nappies, baby powder and sudocream and things like that as gifts. She got boxes and bags filled with stuff stuff and saved a small fortune on having to buy those things herself. Her reasoning was that with all the money she would save on those items she could afford to save up for her kids first foreign holiday and in effect that was the real gift that they all chipped in for.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (28 June 2012):
 Interesting question, on one hand it unburdens the guests from shopping. On the other hand it deprives them of expressing their personality. When it comes to small children, opening is more important than what the gift is. I remember my toddlers playing with balloons all Christmas day and ignoring the toys. Your Daughter will not enjoy opening cards. I can see how it would be a very thoughtful gift from your point of view. Just make sure there is a fun way for your daughter to interact with her older relatives.
FA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2012): Well it really depends on how strict you are with etiquette? Etiquette demands that you never ask for money and a gift certificate is money in a different form. I have friends whom would consider it terribly rude to be asked for a gift certificate rather than a proper present, on the other hand I also have friends who would never think twice about asking for a gift certificate if she thought it would be better.As you rightly pointed out it would be much more practical for you to receive gift certificates. I would suggest a sort of 'guidance' rather than asking for it. If your guests ask you what sort of present they should get then maybe something along the lines of :"How very thoughtful of you to ask, I'm sure that whatever you pick will be lovely but please don't feel obliged to spend too much time looking for something, a gift certificate would be just as appreciated and they grow so quickly... it might be really handy in a few months."Might be a bit British for you but no one's every accused us of being impolite :)
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (28 June 2012):
 Yes just go for it. Put it on the invitations that you are trying to build up a good foundation for your baby and would love if people gave gifts in the form of gift cards or money rather than toys or clothes. I once had someone flat out ask for money for wedding presents rather than gifts and I didn't find it odd at all. Just don't be wishy washy about it, just write it directly on the invite.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (28 June 2012):
 Hi
Its a good practical idea. However some family would probably rather pick the actual gift to make it personal ,especially for the first birthday. Maybe suggest them getting clothes in bigger sizes,a keepsake or jewellry of some sort. If they're really stuck for ideas you could 'suggest' them getting a Gift Card
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A
female
reader, katiekate +, writes (28 June 2012):
 I see your point about being practical, but yes, I think it is rude. When people give a gift, they buy something they think is cute or funny or something they think the recipient would like. I would feel a bit offended by being told what I should give. It's tacky and presumptuous. If someone ASKS you, "what should we get", or "what do you need", etc., then say that a gift card would be great. Instead of worrying about what gifts your baby will receive, just be grateful for whatever it is your guests generously give.
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