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Would it be ok if my husband said it was?

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 April 2006) 5 Answers - (Newest, 23 April 2006)
A female United Kingdom, *ucy267 writes:

I have a confession...i went out for a drink last night with a really good friend who i've known for over 10yrs and had a great time..I did not get drunk!! We had a great evening talking together we enjoy each others company (we go to quizes concerts etc)and he drove me home then i kissed him goodbye like i always do..just a "peck"...

...but this time he didn't stop...it was the best..most tender,passionate kiss that i can remember in my life!

the problem is i am married to his friend!!I have been for over 10 yrs,( this is how we met.we all go out together a few times a month)

i love my husband and cannot imagine being without him but i admit to have been attracted to my friend for some time(we flirt together all the time which my husband has always been ok with..i am a flirt by nature..i don't deny it but i have never acted on it)

for the past year or so my husband has "somewhat lost his drive" but i haven't! i have always had a high sex drive and am not ashamed to admit that.but my husband is not making an effort to satisfy me.He drinks(30+ pints a week) and smokes (25+ a day) yet he wont entertain the possibility that this has all caught up with him.his reply when i try to discuss matters is " there is nothing i can do about it..go and find someone else who can give you the sex you want"

so what if i did?..here is someone who would if i let him..so where would be the harm in no strings sex?

View related questions: drunk, flirt, sex drive, smokes

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (23 April 2006):

willywombat agony auntCan you seperate sex from love? If so and you want your sexual needs fulfilled and your husband has promised this isn't a problem, then go for it.

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A female reader, lucy267 United Kingdom +, writes (23 April 2006):

lucy267 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

lucy267 agony aunti do understand what you are all saying and no i'm not looking for "permission" but i have tried so hard to work things through with my husband and although he agrees that things have been awful he will not accept that he can do anything about it so things keep dragging on. i cant leave..we have two sons and for me to leave would hurt him so much..his first wife had an affair(albeit he was having one too..not with me) and left taking his other two children with her.he doesn't see them at all now as they moved 300miles away. so what else can i do? i have needs to that he just wont fulfill anymore!!

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A female reader, gillybean2k5 +, writes (22 April 2006):

gillybean2k5 agony auntTHe big question here is, do you love your husband? If you really did, I think you would try to sort things out with him, I understand the urge to sleep with another man, the excitement, but do you think your husband would be seriously happy with that? He might have suggested you sleep with other people, but do you think he meant it?

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A female reader, MissMo +, writes (21 April 2006):

i would suggest NOT having sex with your friend until you clarify things with your husband first.

your husband might have told you to go find someone else to have sex with as a defensive reply... guys get kinda touchy when you let them know that they're not pleasing you sexually. let him know that you have an unmet need (sex) and that it's important to you to have an active sex life. your husband needs to be able to see your point of view and make an effort to please you. if he doesn't want to, then maybe he's depressed or unhappy with his life or the relationship. figure out all those issues before you jump into some other guy's pants!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2006):

Are you trying to get reaffirmation from strangers whether what you're doing is acceptable or not? I don't particular agree with anything said here, but it's your life and happiness. If your husband allows you to go sleep with other guys, then do it - that is, since you want it so badly.

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