A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My female friend and I have known each other 18 months. We were as close as dating without actually dating and were the best of friends. Three months back we "broke up" after I started an argument at a party with her. She never stopped talking to me (via email) but it hasn't been as often as before and she hasn't agreed to see me since that night. We liked to do things whenever we had the time (we both work hectic schedules that don't coincide with each other). She brought up the idea of going to a comedy show by her favorite comedian who's visiting her area (we live 100 miles apart). She brought the idea up in Feb and he's visiting in early July. As a surprise for us, I bought tickets to the concert but seems like the opportunity to give them to her is not there and time's passing by. I know I could go myself but I think she'd have a better time at the concert than I would. As she's not talking to me much right now and has yet to agree to see me, would it be in bad taste to mail her these tickets since she would probably have better use for them than I would? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, alishamarie08 +, writes (8 August 2009):
Congrats!!!!!!
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (7 August 2009):
 Congrats.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy thanks to everyone for their responses. I doubt I would have done it without having gotten other opinions. Turns out she was very appreciative and enjoyed the show very much. She didn't ask me to go.....but then I was being honest when I told her I didn't care, I just thought she'd enjoy the show and wanted her to have them. (though I would add that I never thought she'd get back together with me but she since has.)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again for the advice. I sent her them and also have been in touch via email. Things that it seems we avoided talking about are now out in the open and I think it was overdue. My friend sounds good and I'm happy for her.
But I'm a little confused on the tickets. I sent them to her a week ago and think by now she has to have received them. I sent a brief letter basically saying 'no expectations, if you'd like to go with me that sounds great but if not, well then I want you to have them anyway.'
The concert is this friday. Should I ask if she's received them or about them at all? Or should I simply wait to see if she mentions them herself? I don't want to miss an opportunity of seeing her by once again being afraid to talk to her....but I also don't want her to think I'm asking about them solely because I'm expecting her to go with me. I meant it when I said i wanted her to have them. suggestions???
thanks again
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice everyone. I should add that apologizing and admitting guilt is something I've already done, repeatedly, maybe so much that it has begun losing it's meaning. I just wanted to ask because I didn't know if I should send them or not.
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A
female
reader, diobolicmuphin +, writes (21 June 2009):
I think that's an incredible idea. SEND THEM! Send them with an apology note or something. Let her know how much you care about her. Even if the fight wasn't your fault, just admit fault and be done with it. One of the biggest turn-offs about a person for me is when they cannot admit guilt. Clearly it wasn't intentional, whatever it was that caused you all to begin drifting apart. Just let her know how you feel. That's all you can do.
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A
female
reader, alishamarie08 +, writes (21 June 2009):
No honestly I think that's sweet. You were thinking of her. You should send them with a note saying:"I bought these earlier before any of this happened. I wanted to still give them to you! Have fun with them and I'd love to go with you if your up to it!" That probably would be the best. Good luck!!!
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (21 June 2009):
No it wouldn't. Maybe send her a note with them that says, "Not expecting anything in return. No strings attached, just thought that you'd enjoy these much more than I would."
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