A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright kind of a long question here. Alright, so there was this girl who lived in the room next to me in residence at university and about 2 weeks ago she mentioned that she and her boyfriend had broken up but she seemed to be over it from what I gathered. Anyway, since then I had really wanted to ask her out but since we were in the middle of exams i didn't think the timing would be right because i didn't want to put even more pressure on her on top of her exams so i didn't ask her. Anyway her exams ended on the 14th and she was scheduled to leave on the 16th so i thought i would ask her out on the 15th then, but because im an idiot i didn't and now she's gone and so my question is if i were to add her on Facebook would it ruin my chances of possibly going out with her next year (assuming she is still single)?
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male
reader, rivi  +, writes (17 April 2011):
Why not send her an email in not too heavy terms along the lines.......# I'm sorry there was no time after the exams before you left for the summer - I would have really liked to have dinner with you for a good talk / whatever ##
and see if you get an encouraging response.
If you get nothing or cold vibes back let it drop and channel your amorous energies elsewhere.
If you get good vibes back follow thru and see where it goes.....
REPORT BACK on yr findings !!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys for your help i really do appreciate it but i just wanted to mention a few other thinks i forgot to in the question 1) we both live in different cities so asking her out during the summer will be quite a bit harder, plus im afraid that maybe perhaps throughout the year she may have already put me in the "friend zone" because we had had quite a few conversations, ugh its just all so confusing
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (16 April 2011):
 Add her on Facebook and ask her out next year. I am dating my current boyfriend because I added him on Facebook, posted the occasional (very occasional) silly cute comment and then asked him out a month later. Adding someone on Facebook can be a good way to get onto someone's radar (so long as you don't overdo it and scare her off).
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (16 April 2011):
 Don't worry about missing your shot. Everyone hesitates. What's important is that you learn from this and become a better person.
Facebook will not put youin the Friend Zone, hesitation will. Do not wait to ask her out. Do you know how many guys wait until the last few days of classes to ask girls out? It's a blatantly obvious move to minimize the risk of rejection, showing that you are afraid of getting a "No." It's unattractive, and I guarantee she has been asked out on the last day of a semester before.
The best bet would have been to ask her out as soon as you had an opportunity. Doing so without making a big deal out of it ("What are you doing Wednesday?" is much better than "Would you like to go out Wednesday?") would have helped, or even just getting together and saving the "asking out for later ("Some of us are celebrating after exams, you should come!" is better than "Want to go somewhere with me after exams?"). Actually, "ask" is the wrong word; better to casually state a date and time when you "should" meet up. It's more assertive.
I'd say add her on facebook, talk to her, and get her to go somewhere with you as quickly as possible. Your odds are pretty low, I'd guess, but that's part of life. Think of it this way: If I could guarantee that a great girl would go out with you, but you had to ask and get rejected by 20 girls first, would you be willing to do it? Get on Facebook and ask her out. If she turns you down, chalk it up to experience, become platonic friends, and see if she can introduce you to some single friends of hers.
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