A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well three months ago i found out i was pregnant for the first time, i have always wanted kids as i have been raised looking after my twin 10 year younger brothers and helping out looking after my two nieces. well as u can expect i was over the moon about it i am only 18 but already am a qualified hair stylist i have a stabel job and my own flat with my partner. well after 2 weeks i started to bleed i was so scared i went to the doctor who said i was probably loosing the baby but she put me through for a scan a few days later me and my partner went to the scan to see nothing on the screen. i knew i was loosing the baby but didnt want to belive it they did a pregnacy test at the scan which showed i was still pregnant and they told me its probably just to early to see anything.well i got my hopes back up only to be told a week later i had lost my baby the day before i found out i rang my mum for someone to talk to but like my mum has never been there in the past she was not there this time she then text me and told me she wanted nothing more to do with me and not to contact her so within 2 days i had lost my baby and my mother i have wrote her a letter telling her that i just wanted some one to talk to and needed her more than ever before and said i would love to be able to start again but she wrote a letter back saying it was my fault i had lost my baby because i smoked for the two weeks i knew about being pregnant ( i did cut down to quit tho) and that if i ever emailed her/text her or rang her she would not answer or read them she said she wants nothing more to do with me and that she is not my mum anymore i am still greaving over the baby and my mum i cant cope i lie awake at night thinking about it and still wake up clutching my stomache hoping and praying that they made a mastake and my baby is still there.i wake up and look at my phone just hoping she has messaged me to say she wants to stay in my lifei feel so down please help im loosing my mind over this i talk to my boyfriend about it but it doesnt help please give me your opinion thanks x x x
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 May 2009):
 I know this will sound like too easy to say, particularly coming from someone who has not experienced your pain, but the honest advice I can give you is to let your pain follow its course, yes, but also to make a resolve to carry on, no matter what. You're still very young and, in some ways, your life is just beginning. I am afraid that some very sad things still await you, and you need the strong will and the decision to keep going.
I wish I could cast a spell and remove the pain from your heart. I am sorry to say I can't. I can but give you this sincere advice, in the hope that it will make you stronger and will help you deal with your pain.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2009): Don't lose heart. Your mom will not stay mad for long. My daughter got pregnant in her junior year and is pregnant again by the same guy. Mom's only want what's best for you. I truly believe your mom turned away from heart-break and a little bit of selfishness. She'll see what she's done wrong and will return to you. You will be in my prayers. I'm sorry you lost your child. God didn't think you were ready yet - your time will come and your baby will be perfect. God Bless
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2009): Well, you have certainly been through a lot, havent you? I am terribly sorry that you lost your child, you have just experienced one of the most grueling and stressful things that can happen to a person.
But I do have to wonder, why is your mom so mad at you? Is she angry that you had the baby, or is it your boyfriend? It sound like you two had huge problems before this incident, but you dont say why. I think it's cruel that she wouldn't support you now in your time of need, but I also dont think many mothers are willing to disown their children easily. What happened that she is like this?
What you can do is speak to your GP about being referred to a therapist, just temporarily, and perhaps consider antidepressants to help you get over this bump. Grieving can be a long, hard process and you are going to need all the support you can get. Try to find out about support groups for the death of a child/miscarriage etc. Speaking to others with the same experience will help. Draw on your boyfriend too - he lost a baby as well ,didn't he?
When you feel stronger, you can always try again for another baby (this time, without smoking!). Your mom has made her choice, and whatever she's angry about, you need to address that separately. Try to keep focused like your life depends on it (it does) and dont let yourself sink in to a depression. Get out there and move on. Don't poison your relationship with your bf, and don't grieve the loss of your mom - that's her problem. Right now, your body and mind are, it sounds like, in tatters and you need to take care of yourself. Dont be afraid to ask for help.
Good luck, sweetie :)
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