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Why would he email me after 3 months of no contact? Should I reply with this?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 January 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 24 January 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *pendy writes:

Why would he email me after 3months of no contact? should I reply with this? ?

I loved my ex boyfriend so much. Thought he was the one. But he dumped me saying he didn't want a relationship then I found out he was cheating all along.

He wanted us to be friends, I gave it a shot, he came me mixed signals and but then told me I have a split personality and he can't love me again.

After 3months of no contact he emails me to say he wants to see me to say hello..

I want to text him this:

"I thought you said I have a split personality, why would you want to see such person again? You broke my heart when you cheated on me, lied to me and dumped me. I don't have a split personality. There is nothing wrong with me other than falling in love and trusting the wrong guy.

I've moved on, you mean nothing to me. Now leave me alone!"

Should I? He won't leave me alone. He insist we stay friends, what is wrong with him!!

View related questions: cheated on me, my ex, text

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (24 January 2012):

Honeypie agony auntDelete the e-mail and don't reply. The only reason he sent it is for his OWN satisfaction, nothing to do with you or your feelings.

Ignore him. If he emails you again don't even read it, just delete it.

You know he was a crap BF, he isn't going to be a better friend, no need to have a crap "friend". Just cut him out of your life, he can add nothing good to yours.

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A female reader, chickpea2011 United States +, writes (24 January 2012):

chickpea2011 agony auntHi Spendy,

I have to agree with "male anonymous" the answer is way too much and shows that you are still in pain and anger, which you have all the right to feel, after all it has been only three months, but do not show him weakness. Don't give him the pleasure to see you in pain. He doesn't deserve you, nor your explanation. I know you will need time to heal, but please do not contact him anymore, after what he has done to you he doesn't even deserve to be acknowledge or a reply. Just ignore him... I hope you feel better soon.

Best wishes/good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2012):

Don't reply. A text will only prompt another from him. That is what he wants - a response. Just ignore his texts. If you have to a brief 'please do not contact me again' will do.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (24 January 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI would just delete the email and NOT respond at all...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2012):

He won't leave me alone. He insist we stay friends, what is wrong with him!!-

Hearing from him only once in 3 months says he has no problem leaving you alone. I wouldn't bother replying. the response you came up with is way too much and shows how you haven't moved on. Not replying is your best option since you are still so raw from this and he apparently could care less.

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (23 January 2012):

Denise32 agony auntI wouldn't say a THING about split personality or having a broken heart. You don't need to offer any kind of "defense" or explanation to this man!

No, don't give him the satisfaction. Instead, maintain your dignity and text him to say "I've moved on and have no interest whatsoever in maintaining a friendship with you. Do not send me any more texts, emails, phone calls, etc., because I will not respond."

After that, if he calls you to ask for an explanation, simply say "I have told you I'm no longer interested. Now that's it. DO NOT contact me again, under any circumstances." Allow a moment (literally) for him to respond, then disconnect. Don't get into any further discussion, if's and's why's? (as in him asking "why are you acting like this??") or but's.

After THAT if he still insists on trying to get in touch, don't answer the phone when you know it's him calling. Delete/unfriend him from Twitter, Facebook, etc. If necessary block him from emailing or phoning you. If you happen to run into him when you're out somewhere, be coldly polite and don't get into conversation.

That should do it! Good luck to you.

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A female reader, Dear Mandy United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2012):

Dear Mandy agony aunthi hun

i would actually say this ...

if anyone has a split personality it's you, don't contact me again because i have moved on to a more mature level....

people like that are down on themselves so try to bring you down with them. its so easy for them to put your so called bad qualitys down, than except there own....

you deserve better than that, so don't you forget it :) xx

mandy x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2012):

If you really want him to leave you alone then don't answer at all.

If you do, you could simply say 'Why?' and see what he wants. But don't build up your hopes. He could be at a loose end, lonely or feeling guilty. Or as he's a cheat, looking for a bit on the side.

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