A
female
age
51-59,
*aurus2012
writes:Dear Cupid,Im Asian women,was married with American white men. After divorced i live by my self. I work hard for take everything by my self. My married wasnt happy at all. He dont treat me well. He has 2 teen when i was marry him. They dont respect. One in almost mid night i walked out from his house. I was crying, and his daughter say "do u need my help packing?". I call one of my co worker to give me room in her house, till i get my own place. I dont want too much write my story (will be like big book). Anyway i divorced him. But till today hes still want i came back.I dont have any feeling no more to him. I keep telling him i move on and look for new chapter. I pray for him for the best, and i forgive him and hes kids. Now, Im very lonely. I keep searching new love online dating. But i dont meet yet someone can open my heart. Every people said about me is pretty. Good heart, very understanding, forgiving/loving person. I always smilling in my days, and no one know how lonely iam. I meet many mens from online just for lunch/dinner/have cup a coffee. But i have hard time to "fall in love". Im good person/women. Been years no sex becouse im very carrefull with that one. I will do for love not for fun. Many cute young mens email me want be with me "sex". I say no. Been years hard to fall in love. I dont want write too long about me. My question is simple.Why so hard finding good nice men? Where i can find one? What can i do to make it happen??That my simple question for now. Thank you very much for your answer.Taurus2012
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (16 December 2012):
You have had a horrible experience in your previous marriage, having been treated very badly. It’s great that you are on-line trying to meet people, on-line dating can be very good if you use a good site. Some sites are terrible, the best ones allow people to give descriptions and details about their interests, what they’re looking for and other useful information to help you filter out the suitable from the unsuitable. Don’t think that any experience is wasted just because it doesn’t lead to a relationship: these dinners and lunches will help you build your confidence around men. But also don’t rely solely on the sites. The advice you have been given by Maverick494 is excellent: focus on widening your friendship circle as much as possible so that you have good friendships to rely on. You don’t want to look for a man to feel complete, you should be a complete person looking for a special some-one to share your life with, and you should be very choosy and make sure he’s right and not settle for anyone because you need to have some-one. Maverick is quite correct that meeting people who share your interests is a great way to widen your friendship circle. Hopefully you will make male and female friends alike and you’ll learn more about yourself and what you want in a person who will be right for you. Remember that there’s always luck involved in meeting the right person, concentrate on finding happiness yourself first and then you’ll spot that bit of good luck whenever he comes in to your life.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (7 December 2012):
Well, I wouldn't look online to meet good men. You don't really get to know each other that way. What I would do is stop focusing on love for a while and start trying to make more friends to share your life with. That way, when you do meet a guy, you won't rely on him for your happiness. So figure out what hobbies you can pursue. Maybe you're good at dance, art, making music, etc. Take classes, get a membership, etc. That way you meet people who at least have 1 thing in common with you. And who knows, you may meet a nice guy there too.
As for dating, get to know the guy well before you get into a relationship. It's a really good way to weed out the bad ones, because they don't stick around for long. So let them work for it. Let them prove they're worth it.
Lastly, don't go to bars and clubs to meet men. Not only are they often drunk, they aren't going there to meet the potential woman of their life. They go to have fun and maybe hook up with a gal who wants sex.
Hope this helps!
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