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male
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anonymous
writes: i have posted about this before and got all positive responses but things are moving and i wanted some more opinions, basically what's happened is i have fell in love(!) with my m8s cousin, the problem is she is just 17 and I'm 22 and we have become very close, and in a short space of time have become very close and are always meeting up and going out, speaking on msn and texting and ringing and she has also confided very personal stuff in me that no one else knows and the fact that she likes me a lot is not in question because its obvious,she is closer to me than anyone and when we are together it seems like we are made for each other and I also get on very well with all her family....well a few weeks ago, i confessed that i did like her and we started flirting a bit and she was really flattered but i told her the age gap caused a problem for me and although i said i liked her, i made it sound like nothing could happen between us. I then went on holiday and we text and phoned each other all the time and when I got back off holiday i was flirting all over the place and dropping compliments and it was clear that i was wanting to ask her out, but not actually doing it and from stuff she said i (and people who know about it) would have put money on that if id ask her out in a gf/bf proper way, she would say yes. So i asked her on msn and she was in shock and she said she was worried what her cousin (my mate) would say...well understandable...I am worried too but I don't really care anymore cos i want her that much, well i don't really know where i stand, a friend said it sounds like shes just scared, she loved the flirting and does like me, but she hasnt had a bf before so its just all new to her and she doesn't really know what to do or say or react. I mean theres no question that we get on perfectly, she has said that much, but well...what does anyone think? thanks
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (21 September 2006):
 From the way you two act with each it sounds like you are already together just without the confirmation from the other person, try talking to her, obviously tell her again that you like her and enjoy spending time together and would like to make it more official, and that you understand that she hasn't been involved with anyone before and for that you understand that this is all new to her and you respect that, also offer to talk to your mate regarding this, a true friend wouldn't let this get in the way of your friendship or his family ties with his cousin and obviously if anything was to come of this with you and her you can't really go to your mate with anything regarding the relationship or pull him involved if there are any problems because he can't be expected to play between you both as its unfair on him and the both of you.
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