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Why is sex so important to men?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 October 2008) 15 Answers - (Newest, 30 May 2010)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Why do men love sex so much? And dont try to tell me that women love it just as much. I mean sure if feels great to have that connection with someone is amazing but we dont think about it 24 hours a day and dont lie or say anything just to get laid. Do women go to stip clubs half as much as men or visit male prostitutes (if there is such a thing)? Do women masturbate half as much as men? I dont think so. So why does it seem like sex is the most important thing to them?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2010):

The answer is simple, men, even if they have lots of friends, have a secret loneliness that makes us very sensitive to things as stimulating as sex. Thats why we enjoy it because it reminds us that we arent alone, but it also means that we are very vunerable to rejection. so nver, ever, in your life try to tell a man that just because their wife doesnt wanna have sex means that she dosent love him, beacuse that is exactly what a guy feels when that happens

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008):

Sex is not the most important thing to all men. I would never go to strip clubs or get myself a prostitute. I have other priorities too, and keep my life organized. And by the way, I do have a very high sex-drive, but sometimes I feel that my girlfriend has an even higher one. She loves sex as much as I do, and a simple touch/kiss from me or a stroke through her hair could be enough to get her turned to have sex right there. So, stop generalizing, all men and women are different.

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A male reader, seekinghelp United States +, writes (29 October 2008):

Im a man, and I dont think about sex 24/7. Im a man, and I dont like strip clubs because they objectify women and degrade them. Im a man, and I would never sleep with a prostitute... ever... Im a man, and I do masturbate, frequently, so what?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008):

'So why does it seem like sex is the most important thing to them?' - because it is. At least, at that moment it is. Never notice a difference of behaviour 30 seconds after the guy orgasmed? That might be the most obvious time to see this in action, but different people have different levels of sex drive from each other, and at different times.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008):

Males of all ages like sex, but I suspect that a segment of younger males is particularly desperate to get laid. It could almost be described as a stage. As they get older, men don't lose their interest in sex, but perhaps that mad rush to get laid mellows out a bit, and they start treating women as people, not as "an opportunity".

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008):

It's really very simple. It's called TESTOSTERONE. Men and women both produce testosterone, but men produce about 10 times as much as women. Men also need more testosterone to have an equal sex drive as a woman. A high level for a woman is 80 ng/dl. That level in a man is critically low and will result in a total loss of sex drive, ED, depression, fatigue, bone loss, loss of strength and mood swings. Estrogen and progesterone also have roles to play in libido for both men and women. High estrogen in a man can result in low libido. Men and women have the same hormones, although in different amounts and different proportions. The proper balance is important for sex drive in both men and women.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008):

What are you talking about. I am a male, sure I want to have sex but I am waiting until marriage.

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A male reader, milker United Kingdom +, writes (24 October 2008):

I am a man quite a few years older than you. It's a strange world as I agree that men do tend to be the ones that prefer sex more. Not always though, there are lots of women out there who are also inclined the same way. To get the two types together is an out of this world experience if they are lucky enough to meet up. A lot of girls and women tend to walk aroung in very enticing clothes. Low tops, short skirts,provocative swirly dresses and skirts, long hair uplifting bras.If you can think of the impact that this has on males whose minds tend to react to the visual side of things then perhaps you can start to understand why this is so. To see these displays during the day or night is a bit of the start of a turn on situation. The actual act of sex is like a buzzing feeling going right through you. It doesn't make men bad people to have these uncontrollable feelings. It is very important though for men to control these feelings in all circumstances.To have been married and to have engaged in sexual activity which is a powerful feeling and to all of a sudden have this stopped because one partner no longer wants to do it or no longer enjoys it is very hurtful and bewildering and frustrating for the person. Especially males I presume. It's perhaps a bit like a drug where people are 'desparate for a cigarette'. Unfortunately some women don't seem to realise this side of the problem and just feel that the man should conform. Generally speaking they would anyway and understand what the woman is going through. It would be nice though if women could understand what I have just written and think what it must be like. A while ago someone described to me what it is like for a nymphomaniac to need sex. The answer to which I felt was similar was that it's like having an itch inside you that you couldn't scratch.Of course I feel sympathy for the woman who no longer wants or needs sex like she used to,but perhaps she could compensate to help him in some other way like masturbating him or some thing to relieve the feelings that he still has for her for which he can no longer relieve.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008):

Broaden your horizons a little, I think mainly of playing my guitar or developing the computer game i'm writing. I enjoy sex with my girl friend but don't think about it 24/7. I know loads of blokes just like me, deeply into their hobbies and work.

You are mixing within a certain social circle, living in a bubble even. Its tainted your view of men.

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A female reader, aunty_rach United Kingdom +, writes (24 October 2008):

ok so men like sex, but then so do some women! women go to strip clubs too, in fact me and some of my girlfriends are going to the dream boys strip club next year in london. nothing wrong in that!

i think you have just had some bad experiences with guys, they're not all sex mad and do anything to get it.

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (24 October 2008):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntI'm going to say to you what some weird man said to my mom, "You've been hurt, haven't you?"

You really need to get out more, because it sounds like you are meeting the wrong kind of men.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008):

Bang on Pepper and Mandy, I'll add in my two pence,

You sound so angry with men honeypie, your angry with us before we even began. Why should we lie, this is an advice site, we will tell you the truth, whether you like it or not.

You seem to think that all men are the same. Have a look at these boards carefully. There are plenty of men who don't like sex at all and avoid it if they can. You seem to assume that all men like strip clubs and prostitutes, it is my experience that most men actually hate this type of activity. There are billions of men on earth, but you assume that each and every man thinks the same way. Are we women all the same? Do all women hate sex and pornography. Are all women virgins who long to get married. What about gay women and men, where do they fit into your little plan? Do gay men think about sex all the time? Do gay women visit strip clubs and prostitutes?

Did you know, that once upon a time, hundreds of years ago, women were that to be the one's who thought about sex all the time. In parts of the world, women are mutilated and they have their vagina's sown up because people are scared that they will run off and have sex at the first chance. Men were always thought to be the cool and calm, they could control their emotions, unlike us hot headed, sex mad, crazy woman.

Babes you are very young, and your also very angry. But people are people. I am not like you, you are not like me. Please don't expect everyone to be exactly the same because you will be disappointed. Everyone is different, some men like sex, some don't. Some men cheat, some women cheat. That's life babes, choose your friends and your boyfriends carefully. You may not know, but women can hurt as well... Take care, blessings...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008):

Men do want sex more than women. Problem is we're not allowed to highlight or admit such differences that distinguishes any kind of seeming 'unequality' in the light of modern day feminism. Men, in other words are looked down upon for being men - unless it's a quality shared with by women.

To answer your question, it's because males are very easily turned on, whereas for women many factors come into play for her to be turned on. A simple sexy image or behaviour to the most simplest of touches can turn a man on. Not to mention that on top of it all men do indeed have a higher sex drive than women.

When men are denied sex it's been shown that it does affect their mood and behaviour quite a bit, they become prone to grumpiness and agitation, therefore sex is also important for men emotionally too.

Unfortunately due to this fear of of being sexist its creating this ignorance in the modern day, people mistakenly tend to think that both men and women are equal grounds in this situation just because there are 'some' women who also have a high sex drive as men, which I don't deny.

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A female reader, pepper27 United Kingdom +, writes (24 October 2008):

pepper27 agony auntHi Hunny

Well Emilysanswers has said it all really, It is the way nature intended it to be, If men and women for that matter did not think sex we would have no procreation..Its more common Knowledge I suppose for men to be the ones who are sex mad but sweetheart some women feel and think the same thats for sure..Im 100% with emily on this one take care WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (24 October 2008):

They are genetically programmed to try and reproduce their line. Why do you think male animals are willing to fight, quite literally, to the death over the chance to have sex?

And yes some women love sex lots and lots, while some men don't like doing it.

Women do go to strip shows, look up the Chippendales or the real Full Monty on google and tell me that is wholesome family entertainment.

I've used a man for sex, and I know of women who see male escorts for fun. There is a comedy film about it, Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo.

As for masturbation, there is a question just above yours from a woman who does it every day.

You have obviously recently been hurt by someone but you can't get into that role of "women are pure civilised human beings with higher thoughts and men are base animals." That's just as bad as a man saying a women needs to get in the kitchen.

The world is a lot wider than you have been brought up to believe.

Good Luck!! xx

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