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Why is my friend treating me like this after I helped her?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 August 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 August 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *pendy writes:

Why is my friend doing this? Am I overreacting?

So when my friend had no money and needed to get her hair done I took her to salon where I do my hair and paid for her to get it done, Cause she's my friend and was just trying to help her.

Now she got this lady to do her hair for cheaper price and for 2days now I've been asking her for the lady's number to get mine done too. (I'm paying, she knows)

But it's taken her 2days to give the number. She gave me a rondom mans number and I told her and she said she'd check but is almost midnight and I've not heard from her.

I'm hurt. This is what I get for being a nice person?

View related questions: cheap, money

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 August 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with WiseOwlE

DO NOT do nice things and then feel like the person OWE you anything.

But yea, it was still a bit odd for someone who you call a friend to not give you the hairdressers number. My guess is... The lady did it for free, and if you "paid" her money to get it done.... well if you talk to the lady maybe you will then know.

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntSadly most of us have friends who want us to lend money, give a shoulder to cry on or mow their lawn when they are in need, but tell us they are too busy when we want a favour returned. They want us to drop everything to help them, often over a trivial matter, but make out our minor request to be a major inconvenience when we need something in return.

Being nice is great but sometimes its wise to be a little less willing to help others. We simply have to learn to say no to people sometimes. That way even if its not give and take, its at least less give on our parts.


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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (29 August 2014):

You don't expect anything in exchange for being a nice person or helping out a friend. You hope they're around when you have a crisis, want to share, during misfortune, celebrating, having a good-time; or grieving a loss.

Never be nice with the expectation that you're owed something in return. Don't hinge your friendship on this one situation; but let her know she's not a great friend, and you feel disappointed in her.

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