A
female
age
30-35,
*rin1994
writes:My friend flirts with nearly every boy. I wouldn't mind but she openly seems to flirt with the guy who a have a massive crush on. The over day she mentioned something about not liking her ex anymore but wanting him to fancy her anyway because it made her feel good about herself. Does she want the guy i like to fancy her even though she doesn't like him in that way, she even told me she think he's ugly. I couldn't help thinking, Why do u flirt with him then when you know i like him?!? Should i ask her to stop flirting with him? Suggestions welcomeErin x
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male
reader, Slasher  +, writes (16 December 2007):
 Forget the guy! Talk to your friend! She needs you help! If she keeps heading that direction, it could mean serious trouble for her. Have a chat with her. Talk about her good qualities to boost her confidence. Who knows what desperate measures she would take in the future just to make herself feel good...there are plenty of guys out there who would take advantage of that!
A
female
reader, Confusedinthecity84 +, writes (15 December 2007):
 It sounds as if your friend uses flirting as personal validation. You may want to explain to her how you feel when she flirts with your guy because she may not realize that she's hurting you. If she apologizes and curbs her flirtatious behavior, then she's a good friend. She might not understand how her actions are affecting you, so it'd be a good idea to ask her to be mindful of her flirting.If she continues to do as she likes and doesn't respect any boundaries when it comes to you and your love life, she is not a good friend, and you should distance yourself from her. Friends who "prey upon" your boyfriends or crushes are not worth having because you can never trust them. Of course, if he likes you, her flirtations won't matter--in fact, she'll end up annoying him.It's sad that she needs attention from boys to feel good about herself, and maybe you'll be able to discuss that with her/help her find validation within herself. Until then, you need to proactively protect your feelings, and that should start with diplomatically and respectfully letting her know that she is hurting you and your friendship when she flirts with the men you like.Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (15 December 2007):
 She's doing this because she has very low self esteem ans is very insecure.By flirting she gets attention from guys which in turn makes her feel better about herself, she feels pretty and desired.But the thing is, by her getting this kind of attention this way, she is sending a clear message to guys, they will assume she is easy and as she gets older will come across problems with this kind of attention.You should have a quiet word with her, tell her it's fine to flirt with guys if it makes her happy, but please, son't flirt with the guy you like. If she respects you and your friendship, she will listen. If not, she's not really worth having as a friend.
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A
female
reader, angelbbabe7490 +, writes (15 December 2007):
 It seems to me that your friend loves attention. Although she may not be interested in the guy you like.. she does want attention from him to make herself feel better. You should have a talk with her and let her know you how you feel about the whole situation. Do not make it seem like you are mad at her.. but simply talk things out. If she is your true friend she will understand where you are coming from and she will work things out for the better of your friendship with her.
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