A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hey all.Tell me, why is it that a guy can have a girlfriend but when his female friend starts dating, he suddenly becomes jealous and possessive?I see this happen all the time!I told my male friend I liked him more than friends. He told me I'm gorgeous, funny, the whole package but he doesn't feel the same and he is dating someone. But his actions show he is attracted to me and since then our friendship has developed and the attraction has grown.He is still with her. Seems to get the best of both worlds by being close to me and flirting with me and being "good friends." BUT he has not made the decision of which girl to be with. He is still wanting us both. This is not fair to me or her.So, I decided since I have recently become single again that it's my time for me. That means meeting new people and dating again.He is bothered by this. He has not said anything but I know him well enough to tell by his actions towards me.So, I am well within my rights to move on because he is not giving me more. But now he is mad at me because I am not sitting around waiting for him to decide what he wants to do. I told him how I felt!Am I right or wrong?Not sure what to do!!!!!!Thank you for your advice.
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female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (11 September 2012):
 He doesn't want to lose the attention he is getting from you. If you move on then he loses someone who is very into him and feeding his ego. Of course he doesn't want that to happen. But you are making the right choice. If he wanted to be with you then he would be. It is very simple. It doesn't take weeks or months of thinking. And you have made your feelings well known. It is time to move on. It's pathetic if a person were to sit and wait hoping a man would come around to want to date her, please.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): You're not sure what to do? Of course you are OP.
How long are you going to play back up girl to this passive aggressive douche?
Being number two and a fall back girl is how you want to spend your life is it?
I must say one thing though OP, if you decide to move on (which you should) there can be no comebacks for him. The door has to completely closed on him or you'll be just as bad. Don't indirectly use another guy to make him jealous enough that he decides he wants you only to dump the new guy for him.
The fact of the matter is this, no matter how much you thin he's attracted to you, he had you on a plate and he refused, so he obviously isn't that attracted to you or he wouldn't have turned you down and he wouldn't be treating you like his number 2, his idiot waiting in the wings hoping that he might do you the honour of boning you some day.
No thanks OP, you're worth more than that as a woman aren't you? Go find a guy who will earn that, who will work to have you and do his damndest to keep you. This guy isn't even being a good friend to you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 September 2012):
 Being friend with a person of the opposite sex usually don't work well long term once "romantic emotions" start to develop in my experience at least.
I would honestly either cut the contact with this "friend" or take a break from him and focus on yourself and what you want to do. There is no point in waiting around for him to develop feelings for you, so all you get out of this, is him "holding" you back.
I don't think you are in the wrong at all.
However, I think there a fine line between flirting with a guy friend and flirting with a guy you are interested in... And flirting with a guy friend who has a GF, is to me really iffy. It's a grey area that can cause so much unnecessary drama. I don;t think most women would appreciate that the guy they are dating is flirting with their gal-pals.
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