A
female
age
30-35,
*arksecretangel
writes:hey, I'd really like someones help! Well ok it all started last July with this guy who is 37, and we became bf and gf (I'm 17) and at the start he was really kind... always told me he loved me and texted me loads... now its March and I went to see him Friday 27th till Sunday 1st he seemed fine... although he was constantly on his mobile texting, which was bad because he never used to do that, but he was really affectionate holding my hand etc and now that I'm back in my town, he's been so wierd with me, he's really distatnt and today I told him that I knew nothing about him... although I do and he replied "oh gracious, we are just having fun!" and then when I replied he went "I don't do serious, you should know" and I do, but I don't understand why he's suddenly started acting like this.We are allowed to have sex with other people but I want more you know, I told him that I didn't want to have sex other people as I'm not attracted to many guys (one reason why I don't want to break up with him, he is one of a kind) and he's cool with that. I'm not going to break up with him if I can help it. I really do love him and I know people will be like oh your too young.. but no I know when I love someone and he is the second guy I've ever loved. I just wonder if I've done something wrong perhaps?I text him later on saying "I know this sounds stalkery and I feel wierd texting you this but I don't want a serious relationship, I just want to know if you care about me or anything and why does me wanting to know about you make you think I want to be serious, I just want to be mates as well and then I also said that if he had gone off me to please tell me instead of being cold as my ex used to do that and I'd rather not go through that again with someone I care about and someone who says they care about me. I also wrote reply asap and now I'm waiting... so I can't sleep and all I ever think about is him.I've taken so much crap from this girl who used to be mates with me but stopped because he said she liked me because of him, and I love him so much, I would actually marry him if he asked me to (although I haven't told him that) and I'd like someone's help.Please.. if anyone has any advice about this scenario and any other tips to get him to text me more I'd really appriciate it, I love him so much it really hurts.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): I have been through something similar.. He sounds like he IS with someone else.. I agree with everything Eve is saying.. lose him before it gets nasty!
A
female
reader, darksecretangel +, writes (8 March 2009):
darksecretangel is verified as being by the original poster of the question oh yeh he did but he replied sorry my phone died n didnt even answer the question the jerk
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (5 March 2009):
 Well that girl wasn't much of a friend so no loss to you there. He "stuck by you" when all this was going on. Had he slept with you yet when he "stuck by you"? Quite honestly, you deserve much much better than this guy. You're right, he IS a liar. Don't text him again, don't get in touch and if he gets in touch with you then don't answer him or text back, keeping it short and say you're busy, can't talk.
Incidentally, did he ever get back to you when you sent that big long text to him?
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, darksecretangel +, writes (5 March 2009):
darksecretangel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEve I know but your getting as few of the facts a bit wrong its very complicatedone thing= this girl used to be my frend before we met him and she started being a cow to me after he told her he liked me. she told this girl who hates me and they spread all these lies about me. he's stuck by me and I even told him at the beginning of the relationship, I didn't want to go out with him as it would ruin our friendship well budding frendship and he went ok and said if you want you can still see others and I told him I wanted him to see others as well.and yes your right lol he told that girl he slept with over 150 women but when I asked him he said only a few... he's a liar but I'm trying to break up... although it is difficult... do you have any advice?
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (5 March 2009):
I'm sorry if I seemed a bit harsh earlier. It's not a reflection on you. You've fallen for this guy's charm. He's 20 years older than you and far more experienced in the dating field and he knows to say and not say to charm the pants off of you. Whose idea was it to be "allowed" to have sex with other people? It wasn't his by any chance? He was attentive at the beginning because you were "new" but he's conquered you now (slept with you) so you're another notch on his bedpost. He's such a big hit for himself and has an over inflated ego saying that other girl only befriended you to get closer to him. What a sleazeball he is.
He will only tell you what he wants you to know, he won't go into detail about his life, he doesn't want to get that close to you. Like he said, he wants a bit of fun, that's it. Are you willing to continue to be used by a guy like this? Don't you think you deserve far better?
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, darksecretangel +, writes (5 March 2009):
darksecretangel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeh ur right thanks its just really hard
x
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (5 March 2009):
I still stand by what I said in my earlier thread. MOVE ON! He's found someone else and he's playing you. He's using you... simple!
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, darksecretangel +, writes (5 March 2009):
darksecretangel is verified as being by the original poster of the questioneve hun... this was the first time i went to see him, we always meet... but he comes up and makes a 3 and a half hour journey to see me
and britt i do no some things about him... i just dont know loads of things
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): I agree with Eve. You are wasting your time, and he is using you. "friends" tell eachother everything...you know nothing about him...you said so yourself! He is not a friend, he is a jerk! Why would you want to be with someone who treats you so badly? What do you love about him?
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (5 March 2009):
You are not being straight with him. You're trying to act like his friend (but still having sex with him) but you're crazy on him (you must be if you'd marry him!)Okay, now the bad news! This guy is seeing someone else. The constant texts on his mobile? HER! Him telling you he doesn't do serious? HER! The very fact that you have both agreed you can have sex with others is the giveaway here. Funny how YOU were the one to go and see him and he couldn't come and see you, seems like you're doing all the running here. "Sex on tap!!!" I know this isn't what you want to hear but run as quick as you can. This guy will never get serious with you, (or anyone else for this matter at this moment in his life). The text you sent him has only made him distance himself even further. Forget about him and find someone nearer your own age and closer to home. He doesn't deserve your loyalty!~Eve~
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