A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why wouldn't a guy have sex with his girlfriend?I've slept over at my boyfriends house countless of times, but he has never tried anything. We sleep together in his bed, spooning or cuddling, and just kiss or even make out but after that it's just bed time.He's a virgin, which I don't mind, I like it because I'm a virgin too, although I've messed around with another guy before, but never had sex. I'm his first girlfriend, and everything is great in our relationship. It's been 6 months now, and only thing he's done is play with my boobs.His roomates give him crap for being a virgin, even infront of me they'll pick on him for it. I'm pretty sure they ask him if he's had sex with me yet every time I stay over because they seem to mention him being a virgin and not getting laid every time I'm over.I don't mind going slow, but at 6 months I'm a little worried that it has something to do with me. I never give the vibe that I don't want him to put any moves on me, I'm always touchy feely in bed and stuff, but at the same time I'm way too shy to start anything myself. Plus, I know he's pretty shy too, so I don't know what he would be comfortable with.So I guess this question is mostly for guys; why wouldnt you have sex with your girlfriend? Or why would you wait? Why would you just roll over and go to sleep with a girl in your bed?I want to think it's out of respect for me, but he watches the raunchiest movies and porn and normal guy stuff, so I have a hard time believing he just respects me that much, but I dunno. I don't even care if we don't have sex, but some form of fooling around or foreplay would be nice so I know he's actually sexually attracted to me.
View related questions:
boobs, foreplay, porn, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, lazyman87  +, writes (4 December 2009):
just re-read your query.
if you spoon he probably is showing a sign of sexuality.
he has room-mates, doing anything more sexual may be risky regarding getting caught. that is something he may be thinking about too. getting caught in the act is horrible, trust me! xx
A
male
reader, lazyman87 +, writes (4 December 2009):
i recommend you talk to him about it because there must be a very good reason he often sleeps with you and never tries anything. is it religious? is he insecure? you need to know what's keeping him from showing any sign of sexuality.
i wouldn't pressure him for an answer if he's as shy as you say. i'd bring it up in general conversation when the two of you are alone. maybe go for a romantic walk, holding hands and the usual stuff. get him to feel comfortable (as he should around his gf!) and gently try to make him open up.
i feel that talking (communication) is essential in any relationship.
however, if you don't think that's the wisest choice, then you could try to gently initiate something in the bedroom. when you're kissing/making out (i think that's the american expression) you could try to put your hand down his pants. just touch him, and see how he reacts to that. you're not necessarily after sex, and for that i applaud you, just a sign.
best of luck and i hope this helps xx
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 December 2009):
 If you are too shy to talk to him about this then your relationship isn't ready for sexual activity yet. Communication is essential. Next time you are alone have a nice chat about this.
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (4 December 2009):
 Well I'm baffled. If it were me, you would have been nailed before now, but maybe he is just frightened by sex or doubtful of his abilities. Maybe both. My suggestion would be to take ahold of his wiener and whack him off sometime, or suck him off. If he resists that, then I think he may not be much of a man.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): I bet you he IS sexually attracted to you. Guys don't have a habit of dating girls because they pity them... They usually date the ones they are attracted to. And he cuddles with you, and likes that you spend the night (btw how does that work when he's got room-mates, do you all sleep in the same room?). If he wasn't sexually attracted to you he wouldn't have wanted you in his bed, let alone play with your boobs.
If you really don't mind not having sex, leave it up to him to decide when to have sex? Or just jump in there, I mean.. there's no rule saying the guy has to make the first move. Really. It's just we girls have been trained to think that all men want is sex, but actually they're not that different from us. They don't always want just sex. And they don't always want sex at whatever the cost. Maybe he'd scared he'll push you away from him if he does try anything? You said you were cuddly in bed, but so is he right? So if you still get doubts that he wants you, I bet you he's being doubtful too.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): Maybe he's just not ready. You can't rush it, or you'll end up with a bad experience.
If you really want it, then explore the possibilities. Take the initiative. Show him you're ready and if he doesn't respond, maybe he's not ready. Everyone has their own insecurities, flaws and fears.
My advice talk it out with him. Communication, listening, understanding, respecting one another is the key. Even if the responses are angry, and hurtful. Being honest is never wrong.
...............................
|
